Friday, November 5, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, November 5, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
A special shout out to the Independent geniuses who switched sides again because President ‘Chocolate Jesus’ did not make it rain $20’s in two years. You know, Branson wasn’t built in a day folks.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
If you can vote for Bush one year, then the next election for Obama and then go back to John Boehner; you’re not Independent, you’re schizophrenic.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the midterm election
I haven’t seen Republicans so happy about taking seats since they made Rosa Parks stand up.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the midterm election
Mr. Boehner, you’ve got to stop crying. For one, your tan is going to run. And also, what’s he going to do if he loses next time, put on a Bjork record and cut himself?
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding John Boehner’s acceptance speech
Note to George Bush, when Kanye West messed with Taylor Swift, she got over it. And she was twelve.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Bush’s self proclaimed ‘lowest point of his presidency’
Leave it to a witch to defend a ghost.
- Dana Gould regarding Christine O’Donnell’s concession speech in which she brought up estate taxes
This election was lost when Obama didn’t back the public option. That was the one key thing that said to the people ‘You know what, this is no different then the Al Gore Democrats.’ You know the ole’ Al Gore playbook – ‘Let’s run from our achievements and let’s not stand up for what we believe in.’
- Bill Maher regarding the midterm election
New Rule: Unless it's a freak, I don't need to see a sonogram of your baby. You know how all babies look alike? Well, not one zillionth as much as all pre-babies look alike. Oh, it's so beautiful. No, it looks like a photocopy of a Polaroid of a black-and-white TV image of the skeleton of Charlie Brown, at the bottom of a well. But he has his mother's eye sockets.
New Rule: Stop putting “Bro” in front of everything. Bromance, brodown, Brodak moment. Way to make shoe shopping with my friend Steve sound gay. Oh, and one way to tell your “bromance” has grown into a full-on gay relationship: when you're giving each other “bro-jobs.”
This week's guests were Bill O’Reilly, Rep. Darrell Issa, Fareed Zakaria, Dana Gould and Mayor Adrian Fenty.
Friday, November 5, 2010
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