Saturday, May 2, 2009

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - MAY 1 2009

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER"



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, May 1st, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.



I know why you’re happy tonight. Finally, some good economic news. They’re hiring at The Supreme Court.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

The Republicans say that Obama’s pick for a replacement is completely unacceptable. And they will let us know why as soon as they find out who it is.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Supreme Court appointment



New Rule: The Obama administration must not do stupid things that remind us of something Bush would do. Whoever decided it would be a neat idea to have an airliner buzz New York City should be kissed on the mouth by a runny-nosed Mexican.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: Stop leaving couches on the sidewalk. You know, besides being lazy and ugly, it's animal cruelty. You teach your dog not to pee on the couch, and then when you take him to the place he's supposed to pee there's a couch.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: There's nothing wrong with putting Jesus on the Florida license plate. He's a 2000-year old Jew. Where else would he live? But would it kill you to show him with a little tan? Is he waiting to be resurrected or defrosted?

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were Congressman Barney Frank, Fareed Zakaria, Richard Engel and Dr. David Kessler.

195 comments: