Tuesday, March 17, 2009

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER"

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER"

Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, March 13th, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.

Bernie Madoff, the most reviled person in America, except for perhaps that E*Trade talking baby, went to prison. They did the cavity search. They found 63 billion dollars.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

He lost 63 billion dollars of people’s money, never invested a dime in anything. He put all of it in one Chase Manhattan Bank account. You know what I don’t understand, how come the FBI didn't notice this but somehow they found Eliot Spitzer's hooker money.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue, regarding Bernie Madoff

Michael Steele, the head of the Republican Party, is in very hot water this week once again for suggesting that actually it is the woman’s choice if she’s pregnant, what to do, and also suggesting that homosexuality is something you’re born with. Rush Limbaugh attacked him for being dangerously sane.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

Bristol says she wants her baby raised free of ignorance and backwoods superstition. But you can't stop mom from visiting.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

For the sake of our children, this overly powerful and selfish union must be busted.
- Bill Maher, regarding the Teacher’s Union

New Rule: To save taxpayer money, someone must fire those courtroom sketch artists and just take a damn picture. It's 2009. Everything in our pocket has a camera on it now - including the lint. And if you really want to draw the people who laid America low, bring your sketch-pad to Wall Street.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

New Rule: Garbage trucks get to back up without beeping. I'm trying to sleep and you're a giant, churning, groaning behemoth, and when you go backwards, it's at one mile an hour while making the sound of Fran Drescher with her hand caught in a blender. If there's anyone out there who can manage to get run over under those conditions, well, you won't just be letting me sleep, you'll be improving the species.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

New Rule: If President Obama really wants to be transparent and level with the American people, he must replace Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner with an actual deer caught in the headlights. Geithner could learn a thing or two about economic stimulus from the deer. For example, if you want to make a couple of bucks you need a little doe up front.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

This week's guests were Andrew Breitbart, Michael Eric Dyson, Sarah Silverman and Steven Pearlstein.

279 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Dennis Mueller?! Nope, Dennis is off hoarding his junk, foisting his opinion that noone's liberty is more important than his security & insisting that he shouldn't have to pay for the damages done by irresponsible politicians he voted for, or at least stood silent while they did it... and a broken legal system.

Isn't he retired? he's so 90s...

I imagine lots of political crooks are shitting bullets right now, over the warrantless wiretapping they pushed over on us... good. I still think its unconstitutional.

Anonymous said...

correction: noone's liberty is more important than the slightest inconvenience to him.

ZenGrouch said...

Your comments got me thinking, and I came up with the mental image of Dennis Miller, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Riley taking their act on the road in Vaudevillian style, as the *Aristocrats!*... no just kidding, they would be *The Three Totalitarian Stooges!*Zen Grouch
zengrouch.com
bushfuckedus.com

Anonymous said...

I saw Boehner getting interrogated on abc roundtable sunday. He had the look of a man awaiting an indictment... all the leadershits are ducking!

The wheel is turning and you can't slow down,
You can't let go and you can't hold on,
You can't go back and you can't stand still,
If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will.
- The Grateful Dead

howdy said...

Dear Mr. Maher,

Just keep what you're doing. I am not sure what I am typing will get to you or the programing department but I support an listen. I wrote to elected officials before but they forgot to answer. HBO has always been my choice for the best programing.I look forward to tuning you in any time my time allows. Thanks

Unknown said...

bill -- if you do indeed read this stuff, check out a site i created for a book i wrote a few years ago. my manuscript, a pop-sociological study, addresses an underlying reality that lurks on many levels in this country and is in essence being discussed on your show and elsewhere, though not by the name as i have dubbed it.
go to:
www.republicanserf.com
and check it out.
i referred to the concept of republican serfdom several years ago, even writing to you about it -- a "Serf's Up" bit appeared on your show during your New Rules, i believe, so i think someone on your end got my note. very cool. i've also recently been quoted in an article based on my writings in the OpEdNews site. very, very cool.
having recently added a postscript chapter, i am now working on a final re-edit.
THE PHENOMENON OF THE REPUBLICAN SERF will soon be available on my site.
thanks and keep up with the great work you do.
kas

Anonymous said...

Michael Clayton style exec-ution: silence, lambs!

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=acedgzwgKsIw&refer=worldwide

Anonymous said...

Michael Clayton style exec-ution: silence, lambs!

Freddie Mac Acting CFO David Kellermann Found Dead

Anonymous said...

Zen

When I see these spin doctors I visualize scenes from the classic republican family values training movie, "EraserHead".

If you haven't seen it, you can find some clips on youtube.

*** WARNING. WARNING. ***
PROLONGED EXPOSURE CAUSES REPUBLICAN INDOCTRINATION.

Its better than the republican anti-intellectual propaganda movie, "PI".

ZenGrouch said...

lens...

I rented Eraser Head about 20 years ago, and I swear, it was the longest video ever, it must have been playing for 2 or 3 days! I kept falling asleep and when I'd wake up, the thing was still on!

Something about a baby, and a Zippy the Pinhead lookin' Mother of G.W. without the fright wig.

Anonymous said...

Gator McClusky for President: The @#$%^ Change We ExpectedTexans want to be Texicans? I appreciate their sentiment. It would be more practical to team up & prosecute all the corrupt federal politicians & hang them for treason. Since that would be our tax dollars actually working, it should be on CSPAN.

If California ceded we would take with us one of the world's greatest agricultural resources and the 6th largest economy in the world.

Anonymous said...

Here is some good stuff from Texas, USA:

tickle me here

and here

Cat Brown said...

What is mineral whey? I asked about it, we don’t have any here. We do have adorable baby goats roaming the hills; goat stew is popular with locals. I read about your yen for seeds and now enjoy adding pumpkin, sunflower and sesame to flax and spelt cereal plumped with fresh fruit. In French there are two types of spelt, petit épeautre et gros épeautre; petit épeautre is more nutritious. In English I found no such distinction.

What I enjoy most are whole chunks of steamed veggies, virgin fresh and unmolested. They get tossed with pasta. A ravenous spaghetti monster, I’m only scary in that I don’t know how to cook rice. I also enjoy artisan lettuce, such as red and green Gem, Oak and Tango. To top it off, olive oil and exotic vinegar suffice; spicy sauss is unwholesome.

Anonymous said...

I say, Fire Mr. Dumbass, hire the ACLU to run our country, tell our enemy, "Come On Over and Blow Us Up" because we won't hurt you anymore.

I'm sooo sorry Mr.Kalik Sheik Mohammed for pouring water over your face! If I had know it was Los Angeles you wanted to hit, I would have passed....my bad!

We love you and don't want to hurt you even tho' you want to blow us to bits! That's okay! We will not come after you!

Don't you know? We are Changing! You don't have to worry about our leadership anymore, he will give you what you want and probably invite you to his next Wednesday Night Party! That will be fun! I'm sure you can bring enough people to "light" up the party!

You are our friends now, not our own people, so Welcome to the New ......Hell!

mike m said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mike m said...

Independent thinker:

Give me a break.

I'm sooo sorry Mr.Kalik Sheik Mohammed for pouring water over your face! If I had know it was Los Angeles you wanted to hit, I would have passed....my bad!The “planned attack on Los Angeles” refers to an announcement made on February 9th 2006 in which it was claimed that an Al-Qaeda plan to fly a plane into the LA Library Tower was thwarted in 2002. The release of the news that the plot had been prevented by means of tapping terrorist suspect’s phone, and not torture as the CIA now claims, was politically timed to coincide with the start of legal hearings on the Bush administration’s domestic eavesdropping program.

The day after the announcement, twenty three separate intelligence experts, all with either CIA, FBI, NSA or military credentials, both in and out of service, angrily disputed Bush’s remarks about the alleged L.A. plot, with one going as far as saying that the President was “full of shit.”


The Washington Post also dismissed the alleged plot as nothing more than talk, noting that no actual attack plan had been thwarted.

The LA attack plot arose from the same discredited informant who said that Washington and New York financial institutions were being targeted, which led the White House to raise the terror alert right as the 2004 election campaign was beginning.


However, by regurgitating the confirmed hoax that KSM “confessed” to a plot that never even existed because of the “success” of waterboarding, the CIA has once again highlighted the fact that not only was the torture program an insult and a disgrace to everything America is supposed to stand for, but that it was also a complete waste of time and only put Americans in more danger because false confessions were taken as gospel so that they could be used not to protect the country from terrorists, but to propagandize to the American people and enlist their support for the thoroughly deceptive and insidious “war on terror”.
More lies from Dickless Cheney. When will this madness end?

But we all know it's not really about intelligence gathering. It's about making these people pay! This desire arises from a cowardly insecurity, and a lack of emotional stability (equivalent to that of a 13 year old boy).

GHOSTS OF ABU GHRAIBTAXI TO THE DARK SIDE

mike m said...

I seem to be having a problem with these HTML tags. The preview looks fine, but spacing doesn't line up when published. Sorry.

mike m said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bridgete said...

How does someone as foul and ugly as you get on the air? My ex husband said "He has to be one of the ugliest men I've ever seen". I said "Yeah and women think so too." You're creepy!!

mike m said...

Bridgette,

Your ex is now a Peter Puffer? Root Hugger? Fudge Packer...?

See, gay marriage doesn't work... unless both parties are gay...and the same sex. Duh.

Anonymous said...

Mike,

Don't mind that 'bitch'. She can't spell 'Bridgette'.

The answer is definitely not in her eyes.

Anonymous said...

My ex-husband says...

Anonymous said...

He didn't mean to run me over officer! Honest! Right now he's sleeping under the trailer with his dog Tick.

Anonymous said...

Oh, mikey...you all crack me up!

Anonymous said...

Hey independent_thinker

You know that "independent thinker" is the self proclaimed handle of that old worthless stupid fucktard, Bill O'Reilly?

So you aren't in the least original, you hating, negative, worthless zero.

So unless you have something to contribute, other than your thumbless fish DNA, crawl away.

All you post is hate. We are done with you.

canadianeh said...

I was disappointed in your comments on Susan Boyle. I never watch shows of that sort as I cannot abide exploitation of such blatant cruelty, however, I heard about her on the news and checked the Utube video. That was the most wonderful commentary on everything that is right and all that is wrong with humanity. All those vultures, having paid their money so they could sit in judgement and hopefully jeer at someone. And then there was Susan, obviously awkward, certainly not polished and without a pretentious bone in her body. And the voice of an angel. That had to the be most elegant and classy fuck you I have ever seen. Absolutely loved it. Oh, and by the way, regarding your comment on thin Canadians? I was sitting in a parking lot outside of WalMart for about 1/2 an hour waiting for my son and either there were a lot of Americans going in and out of the store, or a 'growing' number of Canadians are not too thin!

Anonymous said...

My best Saturday:

What a Perfect Day"

Anonymous said...

JFDI said...

Hey independent_thinker

You know that "independent thinker" is the self proclaimed handle of that old worthless stupid fucktard, Bill O'Reilly?

So you aren't in the least original, you hating, negative, worthless zero.

So unless you have something to contribute, other than your thumbless fish DNA, crawl away.

All you post is hate. We are done with you.




I'm posting hate?

Anonymous said...

independent_thinker said...

Oh, mikey...you all crack me up!




That some major hate going on with me!

Anonymous said...

Tae a walk on the wild side... tool.Mikey's not here. I'm Not Sure. Talk to me, and don't whine: you are representing America here.

Anonymous said...

"It's a Mad World"

Anonymous said...

Cry baby, cry. I call you.

Anonymous said...

Stick a finger in your eye!

Anonymous said...

Is that the best you can do?

Anonymous said...

In the New Age, the Age of Enlightenment, we say
"Cry baby, cry,
make your mother sigh.
You're old enough to know better,
so cry, baby cry."

Anonymous said...

as the republicans have for 55 years instilled the obedience and emotional response in advance of in dependence and reason...

Anonymous said...

Not Sure said...

In the New Age, the Age of Enlightenment, we say
"Cry baby, cry,
make your mother sigh.
You're old enough to know better,
so cry, baby cry."



Why would I want to make my mother sigh?

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV5ODj2UPFw

I'm out.

Anonymous said...

Yes Grape-Ape, life is a "Spinning Evil Woman's Child Wheel" and until we can get it to spin in the direction of Harmony, we are screwed....

Anonymous said...

Not Sure said...

In the New Age, the Age of Enlightenment, we say
"Cry baby, cry,
make your mother sigh.
You're old enough to know better,
so cry, baby cry."




It really goes as:

Cry baby, cry baby....
Stick a finger in your eye...
Tell your mom it wasn't I....


There is No New Age or Old Age...
We are Life as it leads us!

Tim said...

BILL:

First things first -- I am a "Real Fan". I'm 53 and share alot of your viewpoints on various issues. Mostly though, I just like your attitude and sense of humor -- truly.

I have to say, though, after watching last night's (4/24) episode, you've got this "anthropogenic global warming" thing wrong. I love the earth, but the movement behind this issue is extreme apocalyptic and lacking basic science.

You said "every scientist who knows anything at all agrees..." with the Al Gore storyline.

This is not true. The number of credentialed disagree'ers has always been significant, and has grown tremendously of late, especially since that '08 IPCC report came out. You need to at least mention this fact, even if you don't agree to give them and their views equal time.

I am attaching a link to a website that expands on the "scientific consensus" idea, plus an article that summarizes things quite nicely (...written by a layperson).

Please study further on this. It doesn't fit your schtick not to.

Thanks again for being you and doing what you do,
Tim Smith
MS-USA

****************************************************

THE VINDICATION OF CARBON MEANS THE VINDICATION OF HUMAN FREEDOM



Robert D. Brinsmead – Web Published, April 2009





(The Climate Sceptics readily accept there has been a recent period of global warming and that climate change is a reality. What the Climate Sceptics reject are the alarmist claims that human activity is the main cause of climate change. It is because of this that we vehemently reject all Emissions Trading Schemes, Carbon Pollution Reduction Schemes or any form of carbon taxation. On both scientific and common sense grounds we hereunder passionately argue our case against all these efforts to demonize and to reduce carbon emissions.)



The evidence is piling up every day that the world is now getting cooler instead of warmer, the oceans are now cooling instead of warming, the ice is returning to the Arctic rather than receding, the sea ice in the Antarctic is at record levels, and that rising sea levels have moderated. The sun has recently gone into a less active phase of fewer sun-spots, and the ocean decadal currents have changed from a warming to a cooling phase.



Before too long the global warming scare will be as dead as the scares about the Y2K bug or acid rain. Already some of the global warming alarmists, anticipating this may soon happen, are re-inventing their alarmism into the scare about the oceans becoming acidified by our CO2 emissions – even though the oceans already contains 90 times more CO2 than the atmosphere (Chilingar, et.al.) Beyond all these things, however, we need to get to what this debate and this climate change alarmism is really all about.



Beyond all this alarmism about global warming or ocean acidification, we need to see that on a deeper level it is a debate about carbon, and when we dig into that level of the debate we will finally see that behind the demonization of carbon and CO2, it is all about an attack on humanity itself.



Global warming alarmism is not a science, but a religio/political movement. This paper will show why it a dangerous totalitarian ideology and a more serious threat to human freedom than Communism or Nazism. It is also like a bad joke, because carbon just happens to be the most wonderful of all the elements in the periodic table because of its ability to make so many organic compounds that are fundamental to the formation of life. Yet here is a movement that is all about demonizing carbon.



The Wonders of Carbon



Nearly every new product that human ingenuity has devised on the road of human progress is a carbon-based product. Steel, for instance, is made by blending carbon with iron. There would be no construction industry without carbon. Nearly every product in a modern house, including most of the surfaces, with the exception of the glass and the bricks, is a carbon-based product.



If our clothes are not made of natural fibers such as wool, cotton or silk (all of which are carbon-based), then they will be made from synthetic fibers, all of which are carbon based too. All plastics and polyethylene products are carbon-based materials. All the foods we produce and eat are carbon products - and that not only includes our carbo(n)hydrates, but all the fats and proteins in our food are made of carbon compounds too.



Not just the petrol and oil that run our autos, but the cars themselves, right down to their brake linings, are made of substances that would not exist without carbon. There could be no aviation or space industries apart from a whole plethora of carbon-based products. There are ten million naturally occurring carbon compounds (more than all the other elements of the periodic table combined), and beyond these, man is finding that there are almost limitless opportunities to come up with new products using carbon -from fantastic nanotubes composed of the toughest stuff known to making better tennis racquets. This never-ending variety of new products is all due to the amazing and unique features of the carbon molecule that is so adaptable and so flexible that there is no end to what new products might be made with it - from the hardest to the softest substances known. Carbon is not just the fourth most common element in the universe, but through its millions of compounds it is as ubiquitous and as necessary to life as oxygen and water.



Carbon is the Basis of Life



This brings me to my main point. Human ingenuity, as I have pointed out, can make an astounding array of new products that are carbon-based, including products that play a vital role in taking man into space. But, for all that, we cannot make living things with carbon because we can't solve the mystery of replicating life. But when the time came for the good Lord (or Gaia or Lady Luck if you insist) to make a world of living things, whether amazing plants that live and reproduce, or animals that can live and reproduce, or the human brain that can actually think creatively, what do you suppose this life-generating power used? Carbon, of course! Any good biology text book will tell you that life is carbon-based. All living things, starting at the cellular level which is common to all life, is based on carbon compounds, including the DNA that carry the gene sequences of the genetic codes. Of the trillions of cells in the human body, there is not a one of them that is not made of carbon.



Think of giant Cedars, Californian Redwoods and Tasmanian Mountain Ash - they are all made of carbon. Every blade of grass, every delicate orchid, every kind of fruit (there are ten thousand known varieties) is made of carbon. Think of all those tantalizing flavors in fantastic variety - juicy mangoes, buttery avocados and versatile limes, all filled with fruit sugars so varied and in such abundance - they are all made of a carbon/hydrogen combinations. Ordinary pure sugar is made up of ten atoms of carbon compounded with sixteen atoms of hydrogen. There are eight kinds of sugars essential to the human body and vital in cell to cell communication. Glucose, fructose, lactose and mannose are the more common ones. Sugar is fundamental to brain function. Every diabetic knows that.



When we turn to the animal kingdom, including mankind itself, we find too that leaping deer, frolicking seals, lumbering rhinos or thinking humans are all forms of animated carbon. In the human species we have thinking carbon through which the universe actually becomes conscious of itself. The human brain is the most complex and intricate piece of equipment in the universe. This is the organ of the human mind through which carbon not only becomes thinking carbon, but reaches the sublime heights of becoming caring, sharing, loving carbon.



So who is going to tell me that carbon is just some black old ugly stuff that deserves to be demonized as the world’s great pollutant?



Stand back, and let your mind take in this whole wondrous biosphere - the living earth - and what you are surveying is the awesome wonder that carbon has come alive in the great dance of life.



What is made of carbon must be fuelled by carbon



Now consider too that this great dance of living things is not just made of carbon, but it has to be fuelled by carbon. It needs to feed on carbon to grow and reproduce. Yet we have people who call themselves scientists or leaders of society who are so deluded with a disease called carbophobia (an irrational fear of carbon), that they label carbon a dangerous pollutant which has to be regulated and sequestered to the nether regions of the earth. For pity's sake, how can their carbon-thinking brains reach such anti-carbon conclusions? This is not just madness; it is madness gone mad. Mad science. Mad politicians. Mad anti-carbon activists on a mankind-hating, life-hating crusade of self destruction. In the entire history of civilization, no mass hysteria has ever come close to being such a monstrous threat to civilization as this!



Where do animals, including mankind, get their carbon-based fuel? All animal food has to originate from plants, of course. Plants start this food chain by making carbo(n)hydrates for the animal kingdom. No plants = no food chain = no animals = no mankind. So where do the plants source their carbon so that they can make all this carbon-based food to sustain all creatures great and small?



The only gateway through which carbon can enter the food chain to enable the biosphere to exist is through the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. There is no other way. It all starts with CO2 in the atmosphere. The entire chain of life starts with plants absorbing this entirely natural, colorless, odorless, absolutely non-toxic aerial gas called CO2.



They used to teach these simple facts to primary school kids, but nowadays teachers who are way off with the environmental fairies are scaring the daylights out of our children with hobgoblin stories about the evils of CO2.



This insanity must stop. It's time to teach the kids again and to remind the adults of this world that CO2 is the primary plant food that ends up feeding them too. They need to be told again the simple fact that the leaves on a plants have stomata through which they absorb or breathe in C02, and by a process of photosynthesis, the plants turn this CO2 into carbo(n)hydrate food for animals and man. They need reminding that more than 90% of the dry matter of plants is simply processed C02. Whether it is a cow eating the grass or humans eating the cow, all are eating -and being fuelled - by processed CO2.



CO2 is as natural and as necessary to life as water and oxygen. It is not a poison. It is not a pollutant. It feeds the whole world.



Unless the soil gave off carbon emissions into the atmosphere, unless the sea (which contains 90 times the amount of CO2 than the atmosphere) gave off carbon emissions, unless the micro-organisms which comprise more than two-thirds of the world's biomass gave off their carbon emissions, unless the termites gave off their carbon emissions, unless cattle gave off their carbon emissions (their belching and flatulence actually give off more carbon emissions than the entire human transport system), and unless we as part of this tapestry of life gave off carbon emissions, then life could not go on for the simple reason that the plants would have no food by which to grow, and then no creature on earth would have anything to eat. For life to go on, the carbon used to make all living things and to feed all living things, must be circulated back from whence it came to start the life-cycle all over again. Every form of life simply borrows the carbon by which it lives only to give it back again. We give some of it back when we breathe, we give some of it back in our bodily wastes and we give the last bit of it back when the shovel thumps the ground on top of us.



Demonizing Carbon is a Dangerous Nonsense



In the light of all this, it is a sheer nonsense of the highest and most dangerous order to put forward the notion that carbon or carbon dioxide is a pollutant. It is double nonsense to say that the carbon emissions of either humans or cattle is a threat to the earth anymore than the much more abundant carbon emissions of the soil micro-organisms or the carbon emissions of the oceans that outdo our human carbon emissions in an order of magnitude many times to one are a threat to the earth.



Be warned: this dangerous eco-Taliban wants to subject us to a carbon taxing, carbon regulating police state. It surely has to stand to reason that you can't regulate human carbon emissions without regulating every aspect of human existence - and that would be more totalitarian than anything the world has ever known. This is a religio/political ideology masquerading as science. Their plans to decarbonize our footprint and to decarbonize our economy will reduce our civilization to a weakened and impoverished state of carbo-anorexia. Does that sound like a lot of fun?



People need to be told the plain truth that much higher carbon emissions and much higher levels of atmospheric CO2 than we see at present would mean more plant food, more plant growth and more food for man and animals to eat. Carbon is the greenest stuff on the planet. The anti-CO2, anti-carbon people are anti-green, anti-life, and anti-nature. Their own fight against carbon has trapped them in their own self-deception and lies. The so-called Green movement is anti-green and anti-environment.



I speak now as a horticulturist. Plant nursery operators know that CO2 enrichment of the air in the nursery house means that the plants grow quicker, have bigger roots and get by on less water. Certainly every indoor tomato grower in New Zealand, Australia, Holland or anywhere for that matter knows that he can increase the yield of tomatoes 40% simply by increasing the CO2 content of the air by about 300%. What's good for plants is good for animals because animals and plants evolved together and share a common basis in life based on cells.



A great leap forward in world agricultural productivity took place in the 1920's when they learned to take nitrogen out of the air and put it into the soil where it could stimulate plant growth. Our highly populated world could not feed itself today without recourse to synthetic nitrogen. The second leap forward is staring us in the face. It is to take the carbon out of the earth and put it into the air where it can benefit plant life and so enhance food productivity. The technology has already been proven and demonstrated thousands of times. It is estimated that the agricultural industry today enjoys a 15% increase of food productivity due to the modest rise of atmospheric CO2 levels of the last 100 years from 280 parts per million (ppm) to 385 ppm.



More and more evidence accumulates that in an ideal world we would have 1000 to 1500 ppm of CO2 in the atmosphere instead of 385 ppm (a mere 0.0385% of the atmosphere) as we have now, or a 280 ppm that the carbophobics would take us back to if they have their way. That level of CO2 happens to be only a tad higher than the point at which plants suffocate for lack of CO2. (See the Wikipedia article on CO2) 300% to 400% higher levels of CO2 will have no adverse impact on humans or animals. In evolutionary history, the explosion of life-forms took place during the Cambrian Age when there were many times more CO2 in the atmosphere than we have today. Besides, humans work in indoor tomato-growing facilities and indoor offices where the CO2 levels are around 1,000 ppm.



As for world temperatures, more and more evidence piles up every day, especially over the last five years, that higher levels of atmospheric CO2 have no catastrophic effect on climate.



In the theory of the global warming alarmists, CO2 has heat-trapping properties, meaning that the more CO2 builds up in the atmosphere, the warmer the world will become.



There are some inconvenient facts, however, that destroy this theory:



(1) CO2 is only a small player when it comes to greenhouse gas, more than 90% of which is water vapour – and who gets paranoid about water vapour?



(2) The earth and her systems – including the very complex climate system – are robust, resilient and self-regulating. Apparently, they easily adjust to a bit more CO2 just as easily as all the plants and animals do.



(3) The proof of any scientific theory is in observing and measuring what takes place in the real world irrespective of what computer modeling might indicate. While CO2 levels have continued to rise over the last decade, world temperatures have begun a downward trend. If the current behavior of the sun with its diminished sun-spots and magnetic strength is any guide, and if the recent changes of the Atlantic and Pacific Decadal Currents are any guide, then this cooling trend will continue for a least another 20-30 years – all proving that C02 never was and never can be a primary driver of climate.



Carbophobia - the irrational fear of carbon - has become the disease of our age, the religious myth of our time and the apocalyptic delusion of this moment of history. It can be cured, however, with a good dose of common sense.



Why then worry about the size our carbon footprint? - the bigger the better if the aim is to green the earth and to feed the world. As for pollutants, let's direct our attention to the real pollutants in our environment like the sulphurs, the nitric oxides and real chemical pollutants. CO2 is not one of them. Before we get too morbidly obsessed about the size of our carbon footprint, it might help to remind ourselves that the termites and the micro-organisms have a very much larger carbon footprint than we do. As for the oceans, their carbon emissions are so massive that they make human carbon emissions appear about as significant as some flatulence in a hurricane.



Carbon is good for you, good for every living thing, and good for the earth. So relax and enjoy your good portion of carbon under the sun, especially if it happens to be a carbonated cold one.



The fear of carbon is the fear of life. The love of carbon is the love of life. Humans are animated carbon. Everything we consume and emit is carbon-based. Everything we make or purchase causes carbon emissions. It is not possible to control and regulate carbon without controlling and regulating every aspect of human existence. To be anti-carbon is to be anti-human freedom.



The war on carbon is an ill-disguised war on humanity, a war on human freedom. Carbon and carbon emissions are simply a proxy for human activity. This whole movement to demonize carbon is driven by a world-denying, man-hating worldview. It is time to rip away the mask and expose the movement whose real aim is to put the human race in chains to a system that controls every aspect of human existence. It is time to stand up and say, “You take your jackboots off my carbon and off my life.”



It is heartening to see that more and more scientists are waking up to the junk science of man-made global warming alarmism and that they are are now coming out of the woodwork to say so. The movement to shut down our energy sources by a beat-up against CO2, if successful, would turn off the lights of civilization. It is fitting that the symbolism of the recent Earth Hour was darkness rather than light.



There has never been more than a small coterie of pseudo-science activists and social engineers driving this global warming alarmism cart. They have been remarkably successful in closing down the debate and silencing opposition by their big lie about their enjoying an overwhelming scientific consensus. They have intimidated a lot of scientists with the fear of losing academic funding if they should open their mouths with a contrary opinion.



As for the Media that refused to obey their own credo of rigorous investigative journalism, that ducked from asking the hard questions, that forgot they were supposed to be independent journalists instead of advocates for the popular hysteria, its integrity and credibility has been trashed by its own hand. Long live the free spirits of the Internet, the indefatigable bloggers who would not be silenced.


*Robert D. Brinsmead is a Horticulturist and a free-lance Writer.

Copyright © 2009 Robert D. Brinsmead


For further reading:

http://www.climatesceptics.com.au
http://www.climatesceptics.com.au/sceptic-scientists.html

Anonymous said...

Thank God for Speed Reading courses!

Anonymous said...

Bill, do you even read all this shit or do you let you lankey's do it?

You need more blogs for the year 2009....Helloooo!!!!

Anonymous said...

Has anyone stopped to think when all of this financial crap started?

2006-Barney Frank and Dennis Dodd tell Fannie Mae and all lenders....
GIVE the Money no matter what the risk....

Summer 2008 Gas prices rise to over $4.00 gallon (whoops, right before elections.....helloooo) which in turn kills the auto industry...(but as for me, my life depends on building auto's)

Otherwise, everything in the American mind was fine!


Side note: Bill Maher, You are the biggest ASSHOLE ever put on this planet...You are making fun of a women with a talent who in your mind is UGLY.....

LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU UGLY BIG NOSE ASSHOLE!!


Torture?

To our Enemy...WE LOVE YOU AND WILL NOT HURT YOU...BRING MARSHMELLOWS FOR THE CAMPFIRE...BLOW US UP, WE DON'T CARE...JUST BE SURE TO HIT HOLLYWOOD FIRST!

mike m said...

Tim,

I don't know where you get your facts from, but let me make it very simple for you.

Oil, coal and natural gas are fossil fuels. That means, just as sure as death and taxes, they will run out. We're seeing it happen right now, before our very eyes. Texas is empty. Prudhoe Bay, Alaska and the North Slope have seen production drop 75%. At best estimates, the oil in The National Wildlife Refuge will produce enough oil to last about a year in the US.

Chevron spends one hundred million dollars to build one oil rig, that will drill 5 miles into the Earth, and only has a 20% chance of hitting oil in The Gulf of Mexico.

Oil company engineers are working on a way to use steam to heat the ground (in Alaska) to loosen the the non-free flowing oil in the ground. How much energy does it take to heat the ground, that deep, in Alaska? I don't want to know.

The US has 5% of the worlds population, but we use 25% of the oil. However, more and more of the worlds population is using oil. At one time, everyone in China rode bikes. Now, in many areas, bikes are banned (for safety reasons). The world is using more oil, and production is dropping off. You don't need a degree to realize, that if demand continues to increase, and production continues to fall, we will be in a load of shit. We are already sending our young men and women to fight to protect our oil supplies in the Middle East. Not to mention all the money that goes to Saudi Arabia to buy their oil.

Now, what if I told you I could continually produce enough oil to supply all of our needs, with an area of land about 1/4 the size of New Mexico? What if I told you I could do it just about anywhere in the world, regardless of climate conditions. Would you say I was mad? I assure you, I may be a little crazy, but I am not mad.

Petroleum based crude oil was formed in the Earth millions of years ago. It comes from billions of microscopic organisms that once lived in the oceans. The pressure of the water, and the heat of the Earth's core, transformed these fossils into crude oil.

So, what if there was a way to produce these micro-organisms, say, in a greenhouse? But just specific strains of certain types of micro-algae, that have about 60% lipid content. Algae only require three things to grow: water, CO2 and light - that's all! And, that oil could be easily extracted using ultrasound. Then, by using a little alcohol, and a touch of lye, that oil could be refined into high quality biodiesel fuel. And, for every one unit of energy used to produce, three were returned. Yes, Americans can keep their giant SUVs. So long as they run on biodiesel.

This is not a dream. This is not a fantasy, this is happening right now, on a small scale.

So, what's the problem? Very simple - money. We need money to build the greenhouses and refineries. We have the technology. We have the need. All we need is the desire. And, of course, the money. So, why do we continue to spend money on wars and oil rigs when we know that the oil will eventually disappear?

Very simple. Exxon/Mobile is the number one Fortune 500 company and Chevron is number 3. That buys them an awful lot of power and influence. They don't want to see this happen. They want the supply to dwindle, while crude prices go through the roof. The rich get richer. They had their chance to develop this technology 30 years ago, but they passed. They said Prudhoe Bay will supply all of our needs for years and years - but they were wrong - very wrong. Now they are caught with their heads up their asses, and they don't want to admit their "miscalculation". Call it pride, ego or just plain greed. They see their future dwindling away, and they will do or say anything to keep it going one more day.

Every bit of misinformation about alternative energies and global warming are being spread by the oil companies through the right wing media.

So, as long as small minded people are manipulated by the oil companies, people with true entrepreneurial vision and aspiration, and a desire to be truly energy independent, will be pushed aside. But I guarantee, just as sure as death and taxes, there will come a day when you will need us.

mike m said...

And I forgot to mention - all the oil produced in Prudhoe Bay, The Gulf, and everywhere else in the USA does not stay here. It goes directly to the world commodities market.

mike m said...

And - Texas has banned the use of biodiesel - the EU has imposed a tariff on all imported biodiesel.

Riddle me this, Batman, what are they afraid of?

mike m said...

And about this sunspots theory - I seem to recall that an unusually high amount of sunspot activity causes massive amounts of E-M interference, disrupting data and tele communications. I haven't seen that.

mike m said...

2006-Barney Frank and Dennis Dodd tell Fannie Mae and all lenders....
GIVE the Money no matter what the risk....


I think you have it backwards. It was the financial institutions that used their lobbying power to force the government into deregulating the mortgage industry, so that they could sell mortgage backed securities, CDOs and credit default swaps. But it backfired on them.

Do you really believe that one or two Congressmen could actually force the huge financial institutions into doing something they didn't want to do? They can't even get them to disclose all of the fees that they charge people on their 401ks. Imagine that, they don't even tell you what or why they are charging you fees on your 401k. Unbelievable! You just keep on believing the government is responsible.

Do you really want to know the truth? It's not the government, and it's not the business institutions, it's the "relationship" between the two, that screws over hard working Americans. And it all starts with lobbying and campaign contributions. Everybody knows it, but nobody will do anything about it.

mike m said...

To our Enemy...JUST BE SURE TO HIT HOLLYWOOD FIRST!


From "Pink Cadillac":

If we kill all the Jews and ni**ers, what are we going to do for entertainment?

There's always David Letterman

Crusader said...

Steve Salerno, you rock! Thank God to hear eloquence from our angle. I could not have said it better myself. Michael Eric Dyson is the most condescending, preacher-style debater I've ever seen allowed on Real Time. Empiricist, Hah! He makes George W. look like the smartest guy to ever place one word after another. Michael Eric Dyson is a know-nothing blowhard who likes to keep his race in the pity pot. He's almost as dumb as Zengrouch.

mike m said...

Shaun Hannity said he would be open to letting himself be waterboarded. Perhaps he would also be open to "point and laugh" in the shower. Maybe forced masturbation with more point and laugh from a female soldier. How about being part of a naked, all male human pyramid? While he's wearing a pair of women's panties on his head? Perhaps a pair of J. Edgar Hoover's panties. Oh, I forgot, he wears them all the time, anyway, just not on his head.

This is the truly embarrassing shit the Bush people were responsible for. It should be absolutely clear to everyone, that this country was being run buy a bunch of adolescent boys who were terrified of the inadequacies of their own penises. It's like something from "Porky's".

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill, you should talk to some 50 year-old married men. I'm a married bi woman, lucky that my 50-year old hubby is still interested in sex.

The bi girls I play with are also married and almost all of them complain that their husband's don't have much interest in sex with them or anybody else. Do some research it seems that men's sex drive severely declines with age, while women's sex drive seems to get up. My girlfriends are fit, attractive and in great shape, I don't play with fat or stupid women. There are a lot of us out there, so I can attest that this is quite common.

By the way, if you're interested in supporting the LGBT community, I'm part of a group of bisexuals in the process founding a bisexual center in Los Angeles. We are the unwanted stepchild in the gay community. Our kick-off party is May 16th. If you're interested, check out www.labicenter.org There will probably be a lot of hot bi chicks at the party...Ruth C.

zengrouch2 said...

Bill Maher: King Straw Man and blowhard, setting up easy marks to bust through like the Kool-Aid Man breaking up a brick wall. However, where the latter doles out sugar water to turn our children into obese pieces of feces, all Maher churns out are half-assed specious arguments that, like mad cow disease, turn our brains into Swiss.

Now, as far as whether his butthole-iness is engendered by his libertarian beliefs, we'll leave that to future historians writing their dissertation on schmucks who lived right before the world fell apart into blodclots. However... wait a second... straw man? Blowhard? Both describing Maher? I guess you could say he blows himself! The height of wit!!!

Let's look at Maher's new up-bore-eous documentary Religulous, a portmanteau of "religious" and "ridiculous." In the same spirit, we can say "Maher" is a portmanteau of "malice" and "hernia," both for the ill-intended spite he spits like a foul-mouthed cobra and also for the fact that he is a pain in the groin. A horrendous, bulging pain that you cannot treat because you have no health insurance. (That insult was incredibly tortured. I'd be indicted if people actually were punished for gross violations of U.S. and international law.)





However, if there was ever a target more useless than religion as broad practice (a real target, that is; Plantar warts and Planters peanuts don't count.), it has yet to reveal itself. Of course, when laden with dogma, religion can be incredibly damaging, but so is any belief of ideology. The true targets are orthodoxy, intolerance and willful ignorance, qualities which sometimes inhere in religion and are dangerous if they do, but are not the necessary yokemates of a life of faith.

But Maher is blind to the distinction because that would mean the Real Time host would have to treat his object of derision fairly instead of being in on the fix. So when religion takes a dive in the fourth round, it's not because Maher made a rational argument, but rather because the ref and everyone involved were bribed out of their minds.

The real existential question of religion comes down to a single point: whether one has faith or not. Maher is oblivious to this though, blinded by his own arrogance and an unhealthy helping of libertarian precepts ("All for one and one for one"). Though he dolls these beliefs up in the play clothes of liberalism, the truth of the matter is that libertarianism's extreme individualism is worse than a conservative outlook regardless of how you parse it.

The true quarry isn't religion in the abstract, but rather the demagogues who use and abuse the faithful, twisting religion to suit their ambitions and bank accounts. Good thing that doesn't describe Maher.

zengrouch2 said...

I don't agree with you MikeM. I think we need to do what it takes to keep our country safe. If you don't like what we Americans do then move over to Iraq! Your as bad as that idio ZenGrouch!

lattarulo said...

dare you. are you man enough?

seanstore said...

Bill: I was so very disappointed in you today watching your interview with Billy Bob Thornton. I could not believe my ears and eyes how you kissed up to him and worse actually voiced your support to his complain of not being allowed to smoke. You have been up in arms on all kind of health issues, raving against the food industry, the pharmaceutical industry etc. Here you are kissing up to him and telling him he is in the right, ridiculing the 85% of the population that does not want to suffer from second hand smoke? Telling us the only reason we go to restaurants, bowling alleys and bars in the first place is to smoke? It makes all your fuzz about what makes us sick seem like a farce and a lie.

Unknown said...

Thank "god" for people like you.

DynDyn said...

by the way love every show and yes oliver was correct you are very inspirational lately....so gotta gotta give an interjection about the billy bob interviiew... I respect him as an actor but boy does thqat guy not know music..I was born in 73 and had an older brother that got me into SRV and Zeppelin...but that has nothing to do with his bullshit quote about no band or artist having a say in the music community from the 70's..So Duran Duran and some of the best rock ever came from people like Alice in Chains and the most important Guns n Roses who changed an entire culture of 80's butt rockers into true music Enthusiasts. So My cock sucker mother fucker gripe is that Oliver Stone is an amazing artist from the most important time of the American culture...but that does not give him free reign to be the spokes person for the 90's-2000 culture. We respect him and the artists of the time BUT...its time to look at thee people who influence the youth of today because ultimately these are the peeps that will motivate the new movement of politics....anyhows.....Great show and keep it up.....peace....BC

Slade5 said...

Honestly i think its almost sad that you are so bloodthirsty to try to bash all of the christians. Just because we believe in something that you dont doesnt mean that you have to call us "wackos" or any other offensive words and try to tell us that our religion is wrong. There has to be something about it that just makes you want to prove it wrong or else you wouldnt have made the documentary. You were talking to a senator and you said "it worries me that people are running my country who believe in a talking fake".. Bush might not have been the best President in peoples opinions but atleast he mostly ran the country under God and thats what our country is.. One Nation Under God it was founded that way and it should stay that way.. by the way im 14. Best Regards - Slade

Slade5 said...

Sorry, and i hope that anything i wrote in my other comment does not in any way offend you i was just stating my opinion and as i respect yours i hope you respect mine as well. Thank You.

swedeen said...

Hey Bill...

We are of like minds on most issues, but I want to leave you and these blog readers with a thought for today...

Trust.

I don't disagree with with some of your (and your guest's) criticisms of Obama on specific issues. However, I invite you to macro up a bit.

One of the most significant aspects (to me) of Bush's 8 year regime was the complete lack of trust I had in our leader's judgement on virtually everything. Si, I did live in fear. Not because of what terrorists may do, but what he, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove and the other idiots in the White House might do next. And because their core values and beliefs were so immoral and alien to my way of thinking and behaving in this world.

Whereas I may not agree with everything that Obama is doing, or not doing, or the pace at which he is doing it, I sleep at night so much better because the guy that is our country's voice is a smart, visionary, kind, morale and centered person, and I feel that the country is in better hands under his leadership, guidance and voice of inspiration and aspiration.

I am not criticizing your criticism of the things he does or doesn't do. I know that is healthy. And important.

But please remind your viewers from time to time, how fortunate we are to have someone at the helm that deserves and has earned our trust.

I don't preach Pollyana-ism, but I know that the power of building up rather than tearing down will move our country, our world and most importantly ourselves forward.

I don't know if you read this stuff, but I hope you do.

Steve Wedeen

swedeen said...

Hey Bill...

We are of like minds on most issues, but I want to leave you and these blog readers with a thought for today...

Trust.

I don't disagree with with some of your (and your guest's) criticisms of Obama on specific issues. However, I invite you to macro up a bit.

One of the most significant aspects (to me) of Bush's 8 year regime was the complete lack of trust I had in our leader's judgement on virtually everything. Si, I did live in fear. Not because of what terrorists may do, but what he, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove and the other idiots in the White House might do next. And because their core values and beliefs were so immoral and alien to my way of thinking and behaving in this world.

Whereas I may not agree with everything that Obama is doing, or not doing, or the pace at which he is doing it, I sleep at night so much better because the guy that is our country's voice is a smart, visionary, kind, morale and centered person, and I feel that the country is in better hands under his leadership, guidance and voice of inspiration and aspiration.

I am not criticizing your criticism of the things he does or doesn't do. I know that is healthy. And important.

But please remind your viewers from time to time, how fortunate we are to have someone at the helm that deserves and has earned our trust.

I don't preach Pollyana-ism, but I know that the power of building up rather than tearing down will move our country, our world and most importantly ourselves forward.

I don't know if you read this stuff, but I hope you do.

Steve Wedeen

Unknown said...

Bill... please get a hair stylist~! You look like a
homeless guy.

Lee said...

Bill Maher made my day when I watched Religulous. Finally, a movie that questions the sickness and fantasy called Religion. Thank you Bill. All religion does is segregate people, cause wars and restrict women's rights. I am telling everyone to watch this movie. I might lose some friends when they find out how I really feel. How about a movie on overpopulation Bill? That's what's going to kill us all in the end.....not Armageddon.

Dean Jackson said...

In 1997 NORAD said they insure, "Aircraft flying over our air space are monitored seven days a week, 24 hours a day."

In 2004 the Air Force contradictorily said, "Before 2001, 1st Air Force was charged with keeping an eye on the nation’s borders, usually looking for threats in the form of Russian aircraft skirting too close for comfort to the mainland. In those few hours, the command’s mission went from looking outward to looking inward."

See the 5 articles on NORAD at www.DNotice.org

Dean Jackson said...

In 1997 NORAD said they insure, "Aircraft flying over our air space are monitored seven days a week, 24 hours a day."

In 2004 the Air Force contradictorily said, "Before 2001, 1st Air Force was charged with keeping an eye on the nation’s borders, usually looking for threats in the form of Russian aircraft skirting too close for comfort to the mainland. In those few hours, the command’s mission went from looking outward to looking inward."

See the 5 articles on NORAD at www.DNotice.org

Dean Jackson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mel said...

Hello Bill

My husband and I are really big fans and we just wanted to suggest that you invite KRS-ONE onto your show. He is so exuberant of our modern day pop culture and then controversial in such a sexy way. I think Mos Def would agree. Combined with your extravagance this would be such a treat? look it up...do the research..you'll see what I mean..
xoxo

Mr. Ed and MeL

Unknown said...

Please use this poem however you wish. Thank you for telling who is the problem in health care.

American Health - Food for Thought

The health care reform debate is hot
There is shouting against this and for that
In TV ads, town meetings and blogs
But some things are missing from the key spot

There will be improvements politicians can show
But the percent of health care GDP will continue to grow
Faster than subsidized golden corn stalks
Or hormone fed cattle in Texas
From which come supersized steaks
To go with fries and shakes
That in a decade has caused a hundred percent
Increase in human weight
Enough compression to cause a sea rise
Or is that global warming?

What if the tin man, scarecrow and lion
Were subjected to our current health care decisions
They finally get to OZ and the Wizard says
No, none of you qualify
You have preexisting conditions
Hearts and brains and courage are very expensive you know
But if you slip me a billion dollars
We can go on with this show

So back to Kansas they go
Where the scarecrow works again to stop
Energy and Food, Inc. crows from eating the golden corn crop
As fast as it can grow

The tin man was mistaken for the remains of a car
Traded in a Cash for Clunker deal by an edict of the Czar
Off to the junk yard he goes lickety-split
Before he gets a carbon footprint

The Lion more meager and weak
Somehow gets covered with ink
Strays into Mc Mac’s herds of identical black cattle
What was left of him was found in a sink
Being heaved ho by a jolly horizontally challenged man
In a red suit and black boots
Who suffered a heart attack while having a toot!
Overeating Mc Mac burgers, cookies and milk
As so many of us do
His VIP insurance had no tricky exclusions
So he got a new heart and can stay on cue

Dorothy finds it hard to believe our great country can be so torn
On a fundamental issue of how to care for the people
After all, that was how the tin man, the lion, the scarecrow were born

Even more importantly - and this fact seems insane
The Food Industry has hijacked our brains
Rewiring us to crave salty, fatty and sweet
Did you know, more than half of healthcare costs
Are for diseases from what we eat
Clogging arteries, hearts, guts and brains
Not just in the elderly already in pain
In children now and poor Toto too
After he ate chocolate chips off the yellow brick road

Then BIG PHARMA spends billions of dollars to say
Just take my diabetic, cholesterol and blood pressure meds
You’ll be OK to overeat another day
Aren’t they entitled to fly corporate jets?
Along with bankers, auto and health insurance execs
At the taxpayers expense
And the healthcare percent of GDP continues to grow

OK, says Dorothy, I know it’s true
The best health outcomes and lower cost
Depend on me and you
But please just one more time
Give me a double dip chocolate sundae with lots
Of whipped cream on top
I cannot stop
Eating right now, or them shouting at each other

Somewhere, somewhere over the rainbow
Or in the silver lining behind the dark cloud
Or in the light at the end of the tunnel
Or between a rock and a hard place
There is a solution
Isn’t there – somewhere?

MakingKnowntheUnknown said...

Hi Bill,

Thank you for Religulous...in an overlapping vein I have been on a search for the truth regarding organized religions and have put together via amateur Public Access television 70+ hours of programming. I would love the opportunity in the future to interview you. My website for more information is: http://tinyurl.com/kvt8ab
and my e-mail address is mktu1@yahoo.com. Thank you. Tina

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