QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - FEB 26, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010



QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 26th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.



Being politicians you know, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother’s battle with cancer. And Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Obama’s like a guy in college who spends a whole year, wasting it, trying to hit on Ellen DeGeneres.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Obama reaching out to Republicans



Bush said he had spent the last year working on his book. I swear. Hard to believe Bush has a book. But if you buy Cheney has a heart…

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Bush’s visit with Cheney



The games were fun, but there were some high-profile mistakes, come on. Admit it. Like the terrible decision to let Toyota design the luge.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Also in the category of obvious but still shocking, an animal called a killer whale killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.

- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue



The United States, rather than simply try to talk to these guys who now run Iran, we ought to be looking for ways to strengthen the green movement, the opposition in the streets of Iran, to see if we can’t help bring about a change in politics in that country.

- Richard Haass, President of the Council on Foreign Relations



What I thought was good about the summit was it made clear that there is a real ideological difference. And if Obama believes in healthcare reform he should push it through. He has a majority. He doesn’t need the Republicans to support him.

- Chrystia Freeland, US Managing Editor of The Financial Times



Nobody wants to pay for somebody else.

- Chris Rock, regarding resistance to healthcare reform



If you look at gun violence, the big problem is the war on drugs, in my opinion. I think as long as you criminalize a behavior that tons of folks are involved in, you know, you basically create this huge spiral of crime.

- Reihan Salam, co-author of "Grand New Party" and a columnist at The Daily Beast



The NRA, these are the same guys that are all worried about big government and your rights and your right to thrive and live and everything else. But it you or I grew a pot plant on our property, they’d want it seized by the government n… and to me, that’s just hypocritical.

- Adam Carolla



New Rule: Don’t bring wine to my dinner party. Because then if you drink it, it’s not really a gift, is it? But if I choose a different wine, you’re thinking, “What the hell’s wrong with the bottle I brought?” And when you bring wine and then say, “I don’t drink,” what kind of condescending crap is that? Your cute little gift is such a minefield of potential awkwardness; thank God I’m already high.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: Saying “Hey, it was the ‘80s” is not an excuse. This week the New York Times broke the news that when Senator Scott Brown went on a first date with his wife, he was wearing pink leather shorts. Let me repeat that: He was wearing pink leather shorts, because, “It was the 80s.” Scott, I remember the 80’s, and one man wore that outfit. So congratulations, tea-baggers, you just elected Richard Simmons.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were Chrystia Freeland, Reihan Salam, Olivia Wilde, Adam Carolla, and Richard Haass, with a special surprise appearance by Chris Rock.