Friday, March 26, 2010

New Rule: You Can't Use "There Will Be No Cooperation for the Rest of the Year"...

New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president should take out of his teleprompter: bipartisanship. People only care about that in theory, not in practice. The best thing that's happened this year is when President Obama finally realized this and said, "Kiss my black ass, we're going it alone, George W. Bush style."

Two months ago, conservative Fred Barnes wrote, "The health care bill is dead with not the slightest prospect of resurrection." Well, if it's dead, you just got your ass kicked by a zombie named Nancy Pelosi. Seriously, the last time a Democrat showed balls like that John Edwards' girlfriend was filming it. Make all the botox jokes and she-shops-too-much jokes you want, but this is the biggest political victory a woman has ever achieved in America. Yes, Nancy Pelosi likes nice clothes. So does Sarah Palin. The difference is Nancy Pelosi pays for hers.

But even before the Democrats got to take a single victory lap they were already being warned not to get used to the feeling, and not to get drunk with power. I disagree. All you Democrats: do a shot, and then do another. Get drunk on this feeling of not backing down and doing what you came to Washington to do.

Democrats should not listen to the people who are now saying they shouldn't attempt anything else big for a while because health care was such a bruising battle. Wrong -- because I learned something watching the lying bullies of the Right lose this one: when they're losing, they squeal like a pig. They kept saying things like, the bill was being "shoved down our throats" or the Democrats were "ramming it through." The bill was so big they couldn't take it all at once!

And I realized listening to this rhetoric that it reminded me of something: Tiger Woods' text messages to his mistress that were made public last week, where he said, and I quote, "I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you and make you sore. I want to hold you down and choke you while I fuck that ass that I own. Then I'm going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise." Unquote.

And this, I believe, perfectly represents the attitude Democrats should now have in their dealings with the Republican Party: "Shut the fuck up while I slap your face for making noise -- now pass a cap-and-trade law, you stupid bitch, and repeat after me: 'global warming is real!'"

The Democrats need to push the rest of their agenda while their boot is on the neck of the greedy, poisonous old reptile. Who cares if a cap-and-trade bill isn't popular, neither was health care. Your poll numbers may have descended a bit, but so did your testicles.

So don't stop: we need to regulate the banks, we need to overhaul immigration, we need to end corporate welfare including at the Pentagon, we need to bring troops home from... everywhere, we need to end the drug war, and we need to put terrorists and other human rights violators on trial in civilian courts, starting with Dick Cheney.

Democrats in America were put on earth to do one thing: drag the ignorant hillbilly half of this country into the next century, which in their case is the 19th -- and by passing health care, the Democrats saved their brand. A few months ago, Sarah Palin mockingly asked them, "How's that hopey-changey thing working out for ya?" Great, actually. Thanks for asking. And how's that whole Hooked on Phonics thing working out for you?

186 comments:

John said...

Re Episode 178: One of the BEST "New Rules" EVER!!!! Great job Bill...you're the best.

Kwesi said...

Well said!!! Amazing how many conservative "friends" left my Facebook page. "i'm taking my toys home!!!"

lens said...

Well said. Bravo!

Ratchet said...

Brutal! But absolutely hilarious! And so, so, spot on!

Carole & George said...

Superb. My husband & I agree with all of it. These remarks should be forwarded to http://www.whitehouse.gov/
This season's shows have been marvelous. Bill's a genius. Thank you!

mike m said...

Playing the populist role, Obama & Co. bash the insurance companies, but in fact the "reform" compels everyone to do business with them... The upshot is that this reform is a fraud. It leaves in place the government-created cartels and throws a few crumbs to people who are struggling -- but mostly by bolstering the insurance monopoly.

Health Care Reform: We're Being Fooled Again

This "reform" is nothing more than a giveaway to the large health insurance companies, just like Medicare D was a giveaway to the pharmaceutical companies. Wake the fuck up people. The government doesn't care about you, and will never do anything in your best interests.

Being a small business owner, and small business advocate, I've come to realize that most government regulations are not designed to "protect consumers", they are designed to protect the large monopolistic corporations from smaller, more efficient and innovative competition. It is small businesses which could best serve the needs of consumers, employees and tax payers, if it were not for government interference and intervention in the free market. Neither Republicans nor Democrats will ever truly support small businesses over large, publicly traded corporations, thus, will never truly serve the best interests of the general population. Our current system invokes favoritism over fairness. Try starting a small business, and you will see what I mean, and why most small businesses fail in the first 5 years.

First, you need to realize that there will never be a single payer system in this country. The government, neither Democrats nor Republicans, will ever pass any legislation that will destroy an entire industry and put that many people out of work.

You can't expect or demand that the government to do anything to restrict, or inhibit the growth of these large corporations, because it was government that not only allowed them to evolve and become what they are in the first place, but also encouraged and protected them. Nothing has changed.

A truly free market economy would never support the existence of large corporations. Limited liability of shareholders would not be tolerated. Shareholders would be held responsible for the decisions made by management. After all, it is shareholders who are responsible for voting the upper management team in place.

Intellectual property rights would not exist either. Pharmaceutical companies would never be allowed to invoke the government to enforce 10 year patents on drugs. Same for Monsanto's seed patents.

The banking cartels would be forced to do business fairly, and honestly, because there would be no Federal Reserve System to be the "lender of last resort", and bail them out when they become insolvent.

We are a group of libertarians who understand that historically the word "capitalism" has meant, not the free market, but crony capitalism; collusion between business and State at the expense of consumers/workers. Thus we refuse to use the word capitalism to describe what we favor: individual liberty in all respects and free, competitive markets. We believe that what we have today IS capitalism and we oppose it.

Mitch said...

Great New Rules last night! So glad to find it posted here--want to save this for when I get depressed with the glacial pace of change!

Anonymous said...

I find myself cringing at the subtle and not so subtle sexism in your routine..whether is Nancy Pelosi's 'balls' or some 'pussy', or tonights' over the top sexual sadism metaphor for the Republicans.. it's creepy. And offensive. You can do better.

mitchell said...

Fuck'n A Tweety! Spot on Bill!

maryannn said...

Bill...Thank you for the inspiration. I am going to use the word "hillbilly" as many times as I possibly can this week, and never in a polite manner.

roy said...

Quite possibly the best New Rule and follow-up monologue you've ever done Bill! Tying together Tiger's text to how Obama should treat the Republicans was wickedly brilliant!

wayner said...

As a Canadian, thank you for sticking it too those far-right hateful, ignorant, self-righteous, greedy, sanctimonious, poor-people-hating assholes. This is supposed to be a 'Christian' country who look out for the poor, yet the well-off middle class and rich vehemently oppose health care for the less well off one third of the country. Hope they all meet Jesus blocking their way through the pearly gates. I actually don't mind Stephen Harper in our country, he seems to be a reasonable conservative and he had better stay that way. But where do these hateful, nasty crazies come from; Palin, Limbaugh, etc. The French had the solution for the rich privileged elite; it was called the guillotine. But the U.S. should come up with a 5yr plan for balancing the budget and paying for health care, as painful as it might be; the Liberals had to do it here in Canada and the Democrats may have to do it there. Thank you, Bill for exposing the lies and bullshit. - Wayne

Cringe said...

Alright, I'm here almost 3 years, came from Ireland in 2007 just prior to the collapse on the European end of the economic boom.

We were eating beans as it was back home, and I only took an interest in politics about five years ago mainly to understand how badly I was being shafted. I came here with 4 changes of clothes, my two daughters, husband, computers, 2K and a packet of Lyons teabags. We both had jobs and an apartment in less than a month and have never looked back.

I can't vote, but, as a tax paying, legal resident am proud of what's occurred here in the last year. Having gone from not having a pot to pee in on the other side of the Atlantic to now being considered middle class, I am proud and excited to contribute to the future wealth and HEALTH of America.

This country has been great to me, and I plan on paying it forward indiscriminately, to help make someone's living life easier. Regardless of your political affiliations, this administration is celebratory evidence of the principles this country was founded on, that alone is something to be proud of.

The infrastructure for dreams and achieving the impossible is well laid here, maybe, you just have to be from somewhere else, somewhere optionless to see it.

Anonymous said...

Re: The Dems FINALLY kicking Repug ass rant. Fantastic! You really nailed them, so to speak. I hope you keep truth telling. Keep it coming!

itchmick7 said...

Yesterday I was at the Monmouth County, NJ Democratic Convention in Red Bank NJ. About 10 years ago I became a Registered Democrat and always felt somewhat an "outsider" when it came to "the platform" as I've always had independent tendencies. Compared to the conventions in the past, this one was like a revival! Talk about energy! The room was psyched about the passage of healthcare,and shared the feeling with our Congressman Rush Holt (the Rocket Scientist) and Frank Pallone. At first I thought everyone had watched your "New Rules" Friday night. Anyway, I told both of our Congressman that they needed to watch Friday nights show, that you're comments were a revelation and energizing to our Representatives who did something right! Thanks Again!

SMLT said...

Bill, all I wanted to say is that you have ©2008 there on your main page. I recommend that this is updated to 2010. Many thanks for all you do, you're wonderful. Keep up the good fight!

Anonymous said...

I loathe George Bush, Dick Chaney and Carl Rove (the anti-christ) but Bill,.....get REAL... where the fuck are we going to get the money to pay for this "REFORM"....It's a crock of shit....look at the Massachusetts healthcare experiment. Our premiums continue to rise and with LESS coverage! Meanwhile the insurance companies continue with record profits. More of the same just wrapped differently. You forgot to mention the sweetheart deal Obama gave to the drug companies. A mistake we, the tax paying people, will be paying for. That is only one example of the shit this “Bill” is full of. The Democrats are no better than the Republicans. Their "dam the torpedoes” attitude is no better than what the republicans had been doing. Washington stinks….regardless of ones political persuasion.

SSDD

joanne said...

The Best New Rules EVER!!!!
Thank you Bill... for saying all the things that we life-long Dems have been wanting to say to our elected representatives but haven't been able to articule properly. Thank you for being braver than us for saying them OUTLOUD and on national TV. Perhaps our chance has truly come ... Let's look into our future and work together to make certain that success will come our way. Let's not back down, yet again, but rather crush our holier-than-thou opponents with sheer dermination and the truisms that what we need in this country is health care for all, the cap-and-trade bill, immigration reform, all our troops home, environmental regulations to begin arresting global warming, corporate and bank regulations, etc., etc., etc. As an American, I am all for the American Dream, Democracy and Capitalism; but truly we need these ideals to pertain to the PEOPLE and what's in our best interest ... not to the corporation or the institution.

some dood said...

I think we need Alan Grayson's public option to make this actual healthcare reform

Linda said...

I love your "New Rule". You had me laughing and agreeing with you for the whole show. I am so tired of hearing the BS the Republicans are putting out everyday. Keep up the great work!

Anonymous said...

What an ass!

I try to listen to hear the other side and you are all fools. Hypocrisy personified!

StrangEye said...

Bill,

Love the show.

While I don't follow this type of thinking it might be that some of the Obama "Antichrist" votes, that you mentioned on Real Time, originate in superstitious mathematical coincidences.

6x6x6 = 216
the 216th day of the year is August 4 (Obama's Birthday)

and there's also the odd publications like this one:
http://www.fivedoves.com/letters/july2009/Tri666!.pdf


~SE~

Laura said...

Dear Bill,
Last year when I was house sitting for my parents I ran across the George Carlin tribute program on their DVR in which you were a speaker. It was a very liberal event and yes I cringed some, but mostly I laughed because you guys can be really funny. My initial response when you appeared was to fast forward past you (based on some then-recent attacks), but I decided to be brave and withstand your humor like a true American woman. You were funny, you obviously admired Mr. Carlin, and you were very much a liberal/progressive. That's O.K. We are who we are. In this country that usually means "American." I am a conservative woman and my dearest friend is liberal. I used to be liberal, but times change and so does the party and what the party stands for. There is so much hate on both sides of the political spectrum. I ironically hate it. I get angry when I read about the snarky way you depict conservatives, but I also know that conservativers are perfectly capeable of being snarky towards Progressives.
What I want to know is- Is there a point when a person goes to far? I will concede that George W. could have done a better job and that the Constitution was tested by his administration. At the same time, I don't think that all Conservative people should be labeled knuckle-dragers because we don't care for the way the Health Care Bill was passed. Washington isn't always right. Your side pointed that out on a regular basis and believe it or not, not all Conservatives were against you. I personally would fall out of favor with the RNC because of my beliefs about abortion. The RNC's mantra is "Less Government" right? So, When it comes to a womans "choice" to have an abortion or not, that should be no business of the Gov't. Pro Choice means a choice to choose (liberty) which should be a Conservative ideal, but it's not. If you have a personal reason (relegious or otherwise)not to have an abortion, that is your decision. It is not the right of the relegious to make decisions for the rest of the country. Do you still want me to go out and blank myself or am I making any since?
Mr. Maher,
You are a very clever comedian, who has succeeded in this country, but don't you ever wonder about that little niggling feeling in your heart of hearts that sounds a warning about saying what is in good taste and what isn't? Athiest and all, isn't there just a shred of common decency left in you brain? As a redneck, racist, neandrothol, I don't hate you for your vile envective, I don't even blame you for sentiments, I just have to wonder if you have any family members (still speaking to you) who dissagree with your viewpoints who are still willing to join your family at Passover? It's really late and my spelling sucks, but I'm having a really hard time understanding why the parties must sucumb to such hatred. It's not necessary.
Bill, I know you hate me and wish I would erode from some strange disease, but I don't wish the same for you. Come on people now, smile on your brother....
Laura

Anonymous said...

Please do a parody or an other angel on this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P47OC439x88
I thought is was a parody, but it's for real.

Anonymous said...

This makes me want to cry (But I'll do it in the privacy of my room). You make me believe that America stills has people with common sense!

trusk19 said...

maybe if they had written a healthcare bill that made sense it would be more popular. and maybe if the Dems were not so insistent on passing a poorly written bill they would be more popular. many of you ridicule the tea parties and the far right....can you not see that Bill Maher is the idiot on the opposite side of the spectrum? thank God (yes, I used the G word) a majority of our great country has the sense to stay in the center!

Ryan J. Marietta ("pennsyltucky") said...

This is the kind of Sh*t that opponents of healthcare are forwarding around - I got this from a "friend" who used to live in an apartment upstairs from us and my wife stays in touch - everytime we make plans, I cringe because they are so evangelical...
The e-mail reads: "[Obama's] New Healthcare Bill will require a microchip in people to get healthcare. Don't believe me google it yourself. It's in Class II (Paragraph 1, Section B) of the bill. This is the mark of the beast that the Bible spoke of. Some of you may say its just for healthrecords but even if it is at first think how easily it c...ould be changed to stopping buying or selling with just a simple download from a satelite.It my already be built into the chip but they wouldnt tell us that. I know some of u think I am crazy but this is prophecy right out of the Bible and it is here! Jesus is coming Soon.For those of u not familiar with the Bible. Revelations 14: 16-17. He causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to recieve a mark in their right hand or forehead that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark or the name of the beast or the number of his name. As I said Jesus is coming soon. Forward this and tell people not to get this microchip. The Bible says that all who recieve his mark are thrown into the lake of fire with the antichrist. You don't want it! Pass this on as the media is not telling us! Love in Christ," signed his name, but I left that off.
Oh, please, You've gotta comment on your show.

ZenGrouch said...

"maybe if they had written a healthcare bill that made sense it would be more popular. and maybe if the Dems were not so insistent on passing a poorly written bill they would be more popular"...

How is it the right wingdings bring out the health care bill in a wheelbarrow, then claim that it's too long for one person to possibly read it...

...yet they can claim to know all of it's flaws, and be peeved that it's poorly written?

some dood said...

http://activepolitic.com:82/2/old/29-3.html#Healthcare

take a look at the headline
"Lawyer questions healthcare law language"

and there's one of the things i have a problem with

Jakob said...

Bill, you absolutely killed it! You're the best! Roberta

Anonymous said...

Bill,you have a way with words & so does Tiger Woods.Pure genius using his text as a talking point for the Democrats.I like many Canadians have been shocked by the crazy right wing protests & ourtright hate.The video you showed last week of the man with Parkensons was really disturbing.I have seen this attitude from many of my conservative American friends.Health care is for free-loaders.How do you reach these kind of people who stand fast even as they see those around them going bankcrupt because they have gotten sick and have been fucked in the ass by insurance companies!!

Twoiodiotsfishing said...

Bill........your loosing your gusto!! You need to have that sorry face Micheal Steel back on the show. The last time you caught him dead rights in a lie.......think of the fun you can have now!!

Amartya said...

Dear Bill,

One of the best New Rules ever broadcasted. Thanks for making a point in the best way possible, with a laugh and wit as sharp as a dagger.

Keep it Real, like you've done all this while.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! Perhaps listening to this show helped them man up and grow a pair!

skwyz said...

Best New Rule ever!!! Thank you for giving voice to what all of us liberals would really like to say, and for doing it so well!

Kate said...

LOVE IT!!! Bill, you're the best!

Jim Phillips said...

Mr. Mahr,

I heard and read your comments. Tey are about what I would expect from a Liberal mouthpiece. Having heard these comments and your previous statements about the 9-11 terrorists, it is my opinion you aremas anti-American as it gets. Your socialistic pomposity and arrogance were well displayed. Laugh and ridicule as you choose for now, November is not that far away. I wonder if you will still be as smug should the Supreme Court rule your little rammed through "victory" unconstitutional.

saluti said...

Cooperation ...??? What a great spin !!!... Cooperation between the Dems & Reps has never been better ... They're both on the same page as far as the American war machine is concerned . The mega billions that are being spent on armaments & wars would pay not only your healthcare & education programs but more than half of the world's as well ... What a sorry waste of energy & resources !!!

ChazzDarvey said...

You are a tool Bill. Please kill yourself.

some dood said...

http://www.activepolitic.com/blog/2010-31-3/Political_Bytes.html

Danny said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlgklegcSIU

Friends of George Cushingberry said...

It's about time someone called them out on the GOP's racist bullshit. As for the teaparty movement, put a Y in front of the teaparty and you have a Whitey-Party with a few sprinkles of select Uncle Toms and Aunt Condelizzas to fake the diversity part of it.

Keep bringing it Bill!

Anonymous said...

You call yourself a "comedian"? There is nothing funny about you or your comments. You are cruel and tasteless. From the looks of the comments on here, so are your "followers"!

Festus said...

Bill..YOU SUCK...You attacked Mr. Obama only a few weeks ago for "not getting anything done". Obviously you were dead wrong. The President has proven your full of crap. Who the hell made you an authority on ANYTHING anyhow. Your a stupid, simple comic not qualified to question Mr. Obama...shut the muck up...you've proven that your dumber than RNC followers.

Festus said...

Bill..YOU SUCK...You attacked Mr. Obama only a few weeks ago for "not getting anything done". Obviously you were dead wrong. The President has proven your full of crap. Who the hell made you an authority on ANYTHING anyhow. Your a stupid, simple comic not qualified to question Mr. Obama...shut the fuck up...you've proven that your dumber than the RNC followers.

Anonymous said...

Bill Maher is nothing but another bleeding hart dumb ass liberal. Go ahead with your stupid ass opinions, just pay for all of it yourself you idiot. Why don't you just leave this country before you and yor stupid retarded friends destroy it any further!

H. Fradenburgh said...

Enjoyed your show, however, you had the perfect opportunity to get a straight answer from the head of the teachers union and she tapped danced right around you. You should have tacked her toes to the floor. The teachers union was not created last week. They know darn good and well they have no procedures in place to police there own. Granted it is up to the local school boards to hire and fire and you were absolutly correct when you stated parents need to play a more active role in their childs education, however for way to long the teachers union has covered for the weak, lame and lazy in their ranks and it is ever apparant, that in the year 2010, with all their desire to do the best for the children that the union is woefully behind the power curve when it comes to maintaining standards for their rank and file.

KaKeOd said...

When Bush tried to pass his plan for Iraq, the democratic legislature was using the same innuendo-packed arguments...he was ramming it down their throats...and I'm sure they were choking on it from both ends, too...Bush stood in front of his tele-prompter and said, "I will not stand by as peril draws closer and closer..." blah, blah, insert fear evoking statement here, blah...he and his posse have always used fear as the convincing factor. At least the democrats just bitch about the lack of bipartisanship as opposed to trying to cite Jesus and terrorists as a valid reason to pass an unreadable bill jam-packed with pork. Both parties are equally guilty of not playing fair, but I wish the republican party would pull their head out of their asses and do what's best for America.
P.S...some of the comments on here are so stupid and irrational, they're positively comical..thanks for the great laugh. Now go back to your regular Tuesday night hobbies; Bible reading and masturbation.

Anonymous said...

Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Bloody peasant!

Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you?

Anonymous said...

please comment on this Bill:

http://www.france24.com/en/20100331-saudi-behead-lebanese-convicted-witchcraft-lawyer

Anonymous said...

Terrific New Rules segment this week! Bill, have you heard of the military "Jesus Rifles" story...it would make a great piece for you.

Really?????? said...

Please put LL Cool J on your show. Fox tried to use an old interview of his (from 2008) to use on Sarah Palin's new show- what a lame attempt to show you care about black's. They don't give a damn and I guess they thought LL Cool J was dumb enough to be used. SMH....
Check out Fox's response to LL calling them out on their foul reporting, "...it appears that Mr. Smith does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others, we are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career."
Fox makes me sick to my stomach.

Anonymous said...

Just saw you on the Tonight Show - you aqre the only guest ever to make Jay Leno seem funny by coparison...great job. -M. Hatch

Anonymous said...

Don't mind me while I gloat. Its a great thing when a president actually fulfills a campaign promise. Its also a great thing to watch 2 legged wolves lose. A few more campaign promises and we will bounce this conspiratorial clusterfuck out of bounds.

"I am a most unhappy man. I have unwittingly ruined my country. A great industrial nation is controlled by its system of credit. Our system of credit is concentrated. The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men. We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the civilized world. No longer a government by free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men." - President Woodrow Wilson

"Whoever controls the volume of money in our country is absolute master of all industry and commerce. When you realize that the entire system is very easily controlled, one way or another, by a few powerful men at the top, you will not have to be told how periods of inflation and depression originate." - President James Garfield

"Hey Garfield, weren't you president for only like 4 months?" - A very cool Canadian student

"Well, I was killed shortly after making that comment." - President James Garfield (parenthetically hypothecated due to his unfortunate proof of the illicit cartel)

"Usury once in control will wreck any nation" - Canadian Prime Minister William King

So now that you know what globalization really means, what we need a goddamn education, not the current brainwashing orchestrated by our mortal enemies. Parents need to take more responsibility for the garbage being instilled into their children.

Everyone should stop paying their mortgages, car payments and credit cards until the government negotiates a fair deal with rigid terms to dump the Federal Reserve/international banking cartel and start printing our own currency. Exactly as Jackson did and Lincoln did before he was assassinated & Kennedy started doing before he was assassinated. This was JFK's legacy, not the new world order of 33rd degree free mason LBJ.

A challenge? The alternative is a wrecked nation. Hide President Obama for this & the next term so we can do this. Ask yourself, who really benefits from term limits? Excluding Dieboldt & Jeb Bush, an unpopular president votes themselves out of office but one who serves the public well is obstructed from completing major improvements. The anonymous people behind the Federal Reserve have murdered at least 1 president, thats an act of war. I think they'll back off if we start rounding them up in Guantanamo, pending their executions for state crimes and high treason. They are easy to find, just follow the money.

Maybe President Obama can take care of this after he gets us out of the 2 Gulf Wars & beats down the phony BS about Iran. If Iran really wanted nukes they would buy them from Israel, seeing how Israel wants them to have nukes more than anyone in the world.

As the crusaders just keep fucking things up, maybe we need a Muslim President to smooth over our business dealings with the Arab nations. You know, the guys who hold the rights to the oil. If I can live with right wing nutters I can deal with Muslims. They are quite polite and reasonable; COULD BE BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL SOBER.

Anonymous said...

If you read that rant, care to guess how the dotcom boomed & busted and the USA lost its #1 IT ranking due to inadequate foresight, planning and investment by the selfish irresponsible morons who accepted responsibility to run it?

Anonymous said...

Don't Neil Bush slip away either. If you don't remember, Google does...

Anonymous said...

Bill, as usual, this 'new rule' is great. as are your shows. However, as you've said many times, "those who need to watch, won't". Well that's everyone's loss.
At any rate, just came across an older clip and wondered if you had seen it? It's called "The Money Masters". Here's the url. Keep up the struggle. Hopefully you'll get through to some of the hillbilly elite.
http://freedocumentaries.org/int.php?filmID=243

Anonymous said...

The Catholics really need to check their story. I thought Jesus was the King of the Jews and the Pope is supposed to be His Representative on Earth, not the International Criminal Godfather, Saint Protector and Provider of Child Molesters and shanda fur de goyim. Lets not wait for the do nothing God of all creation to do nothing, lets revoke their diplomatic immunity, impose sanctions and send an expeditionary force to Vatican City. Are we the good guys, or the lackeys of imperialist running dogs?

At least we can sell off some of that priceless treasure on ebay and dish it to the poor, as the real Fisherman intended.

sosa said...

Ok I want to know why you bring these amazing women on to your show and then let the macho self agrandazing males fake the spotlight. Why not intervene and let these key women folk take some glory. Let's get this right.

Anonymous said...

Bill,

I just saw an anti-recreational drug poster knock off of Da Vinci's of Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden, only Eve is passing a joint to Adam instead of an apple. They were smiling and making eyes, all blissful. I have a feeling this campaign is going to backfire. Just like when the ADA dentists copied the original... eat an apple save your teef, my ass!

DK

Festus said...

Bill...You S-U-C-K The President R-O-C-K-S

Anonymous said...

Bill, saw you last night in Santa Rosa CA...I laughed alot but really, do you get paid $50,000a shot for saying theh F... word over and over and over again, then grab your crotch for the hell of it! come on, you bright, your articulate surely you have a larger vocabulary and they have powder for jock itch..... call emnem! I think you missed the demographic of your fans...most of us don't where our pants off our buts, or for the most part chew gum...step it up, you are better than that.

A.T. said...

I think bill maher is soooo wussy in what he did to ray comfort. WUSSY-- That was just wrong.
bill Wussy Maher

Beaver Cleaver said...

All the little children are going to Heaven and so is the Pope. He will receive his reward, a better palace than the poorer one he has here. But God is a just God, so each day forever and ever the Pope will awaken in his ostentatious palace. Then the little children will poke out his eyes, rack him until he is cripple, put his feet to the fire until the flesh falls off and the bones are burnt black, then burn him alive at the stake. All just a day's work in the Magic Kingdom.

Diamonds and rust, karma or bust, I'm going where George Carlin is and Bill Maher is going. Heaven? Full of child molesters, Nazis, flagellants, usurious bankers, mormons, willful idiots, children, sadists, yuppies, prudes, cops and others with rigid moral certitude. That sounds pretty hellish to me, hope you enjoy that eternity. In Hell, we get all the KFC and hardcore recreational drugs with no fatality penalty.

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom's always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

Ball sucker
Ball sucker
Ball sucker


Big Balls, AC/DC

Cleaver's Beaver said...

The MIC-Illuminati should come out of the closet as the biggest narcoterrorists in America, legalize ALL drugs and do away with income tax. Then they can sell their products out in the open as it is in a free society and the consumers will have money to buy them. The best part is we will finally get something for our money and they will still get all the money and obliterate all life. They are going to anyway, they may as well cut us in on the lecherous perversion & primo shit!

The loss of freedom in America presented by Jello Biafra in Canada, 2006. Great stuff!

Now, I have easter eggs to find & a chocolate bunny to lick all over. How pagan is that?

Anonymous said...

NEWS FLASH:

The big one hit California and Baja California Easter Sunday, 2010. Churches were leveled everywhere killing millions of the faithful, including Pat Robertson. Millions of atheists were enjoying nature playing golf, surfing, hiking and skiiing. They appear to have not noticed the catastrophe. When told what had happened, one atheist observed, "I guess their God was angry at them. Glad thats over!"

hfstaple said...

Dear Bill,

I am one of your biggest fans on the political and religious front, but I wish you would please stop getting Amy Holmes on your show. She is a phony. Her mother is my first cousin (although we have never met). I saw her on an interview on youtube where she described herself as having a single mother, how they had to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and how her mother had to scrub floors to put her through Princeton. Just what the Republicans think all blacks can and should do, but I will assure you that her mother (who is white) was not single; she was married to her biological father who was from Zambia. Her mother left her biological father when Amy was about 4 and returned the U.S. where she shortly remarried Amy's stepfather, a white man as well. She had a very white, upper middle class upbringing. There was no "pulling oneself up by one's bootstrings". Her parents and grandparents were quite comfortable. Even though Amy got scholarships to several really good colleges, she insisted on going to Princeton (where she didn't get a scholarship). Her mother did have to come out of retirement and take a job managing a restaurant to help pay her way through Princeton. Her mother might have had to mop the floor at the restaurant a few times, but she certainly wasn't on her hands and knees scrubbing floors in rich white people's homes. My point is that she is trying to come off as a black girl from the hood and despite all odds made it to the top. That is exactly how conservatives would like her to come off as, since they have a severe shortage of genuine black women from the hood from fatherless families who made it to the top, never taking government help bc they scrubbed floors on their hands and knees. I'm not saying there aren't such women, but they tend to be Democrats though bc they have compassion for the people they grew up with. Amy Holmes is DEFINITELY not one of them. I'm sure she has faced discrimination, but she had it easier than most whites growing up, and I think it's really disingenuous of her to act like she had it so rough. If you don't believe me because this is anonymous, feel free to contact me personally: hfstaple@yahoo.com.
I don't mean to sound catty talking badly about a family member (even though we've never met because they grew up in Seattle and I grew up in Louisiana) It's just that I'm a fervent Democrat and can't stand to see a conservative misrepresenting herself to serve the conservative cause, and I'm in a position to know the truth.

Sincerely,

Helen Stapleton

Anonymous said...

Bill you should look at this:

KFC new heart failure w/o bun

I found it in the business section. It should have been in the health section, definitely not food.

some dood said...

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/bill-maher

Anonymous said...

Just think,

If it wasn't for term limits W's cronies would have stolen another election - you thought W masterminded that? and we'd be in WW3, as Herr Rove tried so desperately to start, and is probably still plotting.

The pouty way W acted as he left office, that boy didn't learn a thing. No remorse, no accountability, he's looney tunes.

Reminds me a lot of Sarah Palin.

In the 70s Don Rumsfield was the lobbyist who got the poison/artificial sweetener Aspartame on the market. Aspartame has been proven to cause birth defects and cancer. It also screws up your brain chemistry and makes you dumber. Sarah being on the diet kola diet, anyone care to compute the odds what caused Trigs' retardation? Wrong! God did it because Sarah is the Chosen One.

If Don Rumsfield was a Democrat she'd be suing his ass and slandering Democrats. But no, she just keeps denying it.

Ever feel like a lab rat? Wrong! the Christian rightwing corporate criminals are not experimenting, they are just polluting and destroying. Its what they do. I hope that God fella identifies that gene sequence and makes a lethal virus for them.

He better do it quick.

Anonymous said...

McCain + Palin, Rise of the Post Turtle II

Senile: Relating to or exhibiting memory loss or mental impairment associated with aging.

or, is it

Revenge: To inflict harm in return for, as an injury, insult, etc.; to exact satisfaction for, under a sense of injury; to avenge; -- followed either by the wrong received, or by the person or thing wronged, as the object, or by the reciprocal pronoun as direct object, and a preposition before the wrong done or the wrongdoer.

or possibly

Heroism: heroic conduct especially as exhibited in fulfilling a high purpose or attaining a noble end.

Anonymous said...

Today in the news it is reported that the allegations of covering for his some already convicted child raping sodomites on groups with anti-Catholic agenda.

I remember seeing photos of both Presidents George Bush, the Worst and the Last sucking on his Assholiness's fingers. The symbolism was not lost on me then, hope you all gag too.

It does explain alot though.

Anonymous said...

Priests aren't villians because a few are child molesters. They are all villains because without exception they enslave and live off people, deluding children with terrible lies in order to manipulate & exploit them all their lives.

Organized religion is the ultimate corporate wet dream. Full payment required up front, no preview. They don't have to deliver on the marketing hype, nothing at all. Tax exempt status!!! Ah, ah ahhhh! I'm cumming all over my bible! oooo... impossible concntration.

George said...

Bill,

I REALLY REALLY like the direction you're heading in when you list the other things that need to be done in this country.

I think you ought to run for President! You might piss off more people than Ralph Nader!

George...

carl said...

I belive we both think the same way on every issue religion, pot and other recreationals keep up the great wort George Carlin has passed you the torch,man!

marry said...

Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!
_____________________________

Cheap Dissertations

Anonymous said...

I believe that the United States political system can be most accurately described as feudal. The gluttony of the last 30 years matches that of the military-religious dictators of Europe 600-1000 years ago, even including the geographic hotspots. Figures, some of the most deluded hawks claim ancestry to this period. George Bushs' crappy military crimes are exactly in this vein, he stacks up last among the dumb military strategists of the 11th century.

Brought to you by the free market capitalism that enabled Andrew Carnegie to leave a wealth of libraries for me to outsmart illiterate W.

Matthew James Dodson said...

Sweet Jesus that was good Bill!

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin is poison on the campaign trail. I bet the Republicans are too dumb and cowardly to give her the boot. Even if they do she can sue on rounds of discrimination against the handicapped.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill

Hear you about the sonar & whales. Currently there has been a dying off of whales in a major nursery off southern Argentina/Chile, the vast majority of which are infants. The ELF & energy waves the navies use is making the whales deaf & unable to hunt by echo location. It is documented that due to human noise pollution in the oceans and in the presence of these sources whales have change their calling patterns.

If you want to be really offended by these idiots look up Operation Teacup. In the 50s the Navy experimented with nuclear shell ordinances 200 miles off San Diego. They tested (canon fired) nuclear shells. You're swimming in it for 20,000 years, my friend. Sucks, huh?

Sara Kazilbash said...

I just want to commend you for your excellent movie 'Religulous', which I just watch thirty minutes ago.
I am young Shiite girl, and with everything you said about homosexuality, people allowed to go to heaven, and freedom of speech... I agree with it all! Yes, I do believe that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. I believe that there are no 'infidels' (in fact, my best friends in high school were Buddhist and Catholic). I also think that it is quite strange that Islam has the concept of freedom of speech, but many people state that if Prophet Muhammad is 'insulted', then the 'insultee' should be killed.
I am quite at odds with my parents, since it is normally said that we Shias are lucky to be who we are, because we are the 'best'. I mention just the tip of my 'doubt list', and it is taken quite seriously. Sheesh.
The movie was hilarious and thought-provoking, and the ending was very very true. We shouldn't let fundamentalists control religion, and we shouldn't tell people that they are going to hell just because of their doubts or of their different beliefs.
By the way, I think that the president of Iran is a bastard for saying that the Holocaust didn't exist, or that Israel should 'disappear'. That is a whole nation! What is going on between Israel and Palestine is all politics and bullshit, and the organizations who claim that it is Muslims' duty to exterminate Jews/Israelis are dumbasses.
Ah well, hopefully this email shall reach you. Can I get an email back from you too? :) I don't get your HBO show here in the UAE, but I'd like to find a way to watch it.

Yours sincerely,

Sara

Dana Meador said...

You keep asking your panel "how fucked are we" and getting nothing but shrugs and lame assurances that we aren't. I'd love it if you'd have a guest that actually tells the truth about how fucked we really are and what people who don't own their own private islands should be doing about it. (see www.wealthshift.org)

Anonymous said...

Mr. Maher,
This is the only way that I hoped to get what is a real human story reflected in your Showtime speical about Religion. My own history is way beyond most religions. The murder of my sister in 2002 was my turning point. I am still conflicted and think I most likely will always be to some extent. However, the real story is not the history of religion but the experience of it and where it has left some like me, who started asking the questions you posed and find no real answers. If I were to believe in God, I want to do it with having made my own decision. My story is long, but one which I would like to share with you. I am a nobody to you, but my story and my sister whose murder was ploted and carried out by a preacher and his wife should be told. This will truly blow you away. B Tallent Louisville, KY 502-216-7585

Anonymous said...

You are brutally amazing. True words.

Anonymous said...

Bill

If you are maintaining this wall, this defensive tower in the Castle Rational, You are going to answer personally the plea for justice of B Tallent, whether it pays or not.

Hey bud, you're rich through your accomplishments. Congrats, now turn your efforts to uplift you community. Failure to do so will result in totalitarianism, the monkey room at the zoo.

Did I stutter? Am I not 5 by 5 clear? Or are you just a screen hogging asshole?

At least find out what injustice was done to
B Tallent Louisville, KY 502-216-7585

You can be their Uncle Bill, or you can be a shriveled up old dick sitting in a jacuzzi with your creepy money whoring friends, its yor call.

If they are crooked, you'll get at the least a story to tell & redeem your comedic cupons.

Thats
B Tallent Louisville, KY 502-2

Please help: be more decent than the monkeys.

Anonymous said...

Dude, dude dude,
dude dude?

Derek Zoolander has charity for the children of Haiti.

Thats the fictional character Derek Zoolander, has a real charity, with a straight for the children of Haiti and their moms.

Put up, TV persona. I call.

Anonymous said...

reed dis:

http://www.stillerstrong.org/

eye polo gee fo ma ba dingrish, butt ivan to pubic skool and dey suck a teechin der. Dey cripped me fo goot. I dooz mah bes, amin.

Peese do mo to afeck dis surfdumb.

Anonymous said...

It was banned and never released in Malasia You figure it out. In the meantime, pony up and do some good. I promise, you'll learn alot about the mostly avoidable painful human condition.

You want to control a brain, use tv. You want to free a mind, use the web.

Watch this!

Anonymous said...

You call yourself a libertarian, then why the fuck did you vote for MORE government?

www.libertarianpunk.com

Anonymous said...

fix that duh-scriminated linkage:

http://www.libertarianpunk.com/

Enjoy, brothers! You should read what the so called conservative James Watt said during the reagulon admin, he's fucking insane! The so called leaders are doing too much coke, too much cock and ignoring the Brown Act!

Are we clear?

Anonymous said...

A law to prohibit secret meetings of official bodies, save under the most exceptional circumstances, should not be necessary. Public officers above all other persons should be imbued with the truth that their business is the public’s business and they should be the last to tolerate any attempt to keep the people from being fully informed as to what is going on in official agencies. Unfortunately, however, that is not always the case. Instances are many in which officials have contrived, deliberately and shamefully, to operate in a vacuum of secrecy.

Included in the verbage of the Brown Act is thay political animals will not take money dor favors during their term in office. Makes too much sense, huh? Get a directory of the congress, thats who is violating this rule. I want my 20 grand per Learjet trip back, bitch! I want to know every detail how a public servant made 300 million dollars. I want the Clintons in Cheney's private prison!

Fuck you, you are all pussies!

Haley in SC said...

Hey Bill! just wanted to write what I hope is a quick comment. I just finished watching "Religulous" and I had some thoughts. Sorry its to your blog here but I didn't know any other way to contact you? ANYWAY! As to a lot of the questions you brought to the table in the docu, I have had some of the same questions. A lot of it seems like hoopla, and I blame people misusing God as they're example and reason for things. I completely believe that the Bible is a book of truth but I also see your point that a lot of it seems to contradict what we know to be true. Maybe the problem is that we are only seeing it from a small, human standpoint? Evolution is undeniable; but the Bible references multiple times that God is not constrained to time, time is manmade. Therefore, I take a lot of what it says to be theoretical. I don't see any problem with believing in evolution as the way God created the world. Another major point you make is to that God says he is love, yet many times wars are waged in his name. I believe that God's term of love is much different from our recent "washed up" definition of love. I think God wants what is best for our lives and his rules aren't set to make us unhappy and bored with our lives, they're there to keep us from making mistakes or from learning things the hard way. I really hate that the examples of so call Christians are the only ones you've met because they evidently are either very immature in their faith or are not in the faith at all. I hope the best for you! I think you're HILAROUS and I love to hear a lot of your comments. I just pray that God will someone into your life that is a normal person (like me) who is a christian (like me) who sees the world and faith as something that don't have to be in two different categories. They exist harmoniously :) Good luck with everything!

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Jay said...

PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS ON THIS WEEKS SHOW!!!

This is the CEO of Massey Energy, the company who's mine killed 25 people last week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geAsdtZkJpg

If you can't watch the video, he says: “As someone who has overseen the mining of more coal than anyone else in the history of Central Appalachia, I know that the safety and health of coal miners is my most important job. I don’t need Washington politicians to tell me that, and neither do you. But I also know—I also know that Washington and state politicians have no idea how to improve miner safety. The very idea that they care more about coal miner safety than we do is as silly as global warming.”

Chunkizzo said...

OMFG! As my Prius drove by a crowd of Tea Nazi Protesters, I was blasted with comments as faggot, and my fav "go back to France!" I noticed that amongst the pale face polo shirt wearing crowd, not a single black person, I'm sure there was a little Powell hiding in this midst but honestly, these people are just glorified red necks, racist Americans that cannot see past the concept OF PROGRESSIVE CHANGE!!!!!! Jesus ZOMBIE CHRIST!! what has happened to America, Bill I love you, help me before I really do move to fucking France!

Brian said...

42 years ago Americans as a whole WERE much more humane and democratic. From Ball State to UCLA, people honestly cared. Then the angry bullies started killing the leaders of our once great nation. Fear, war and profittering were the mainstay of American politics and business. As you stated in your Chris Mathews interview where you mentioned that democrats moved to the middle and right-wingers moved to rubber rooms.

Now we have another great leader and the bullies are frightened.

carl said...

Did you know that they found yet another giant mass of micoscopis bits of plastic in the Atlatic ocean in addition to the one in the Pacific ? Also Bill Section 8 housing is decent housing at 30%of avg rent ,it's a gov't program for folks who are disabled ect (not as you once thought an a show long ago) as a Lobbyist for Medical Marijauna here in N.Y. thank you for your open and heartfelt support for the cause! and Religion is total bullshit too!!

Bobby said...

The Democrats refused to cooperate with the people the first half of the year and they won't the second half. How is this a new rule?

Anonymous said...

You say that it is wrong for doctors to write illegible prescriptions or priests to speak in Latin because you can't understand. Then you make fun people who complain about 3000 page bills or a tax code well educated people can't understand. You claim to be a Libertarian yet you down grade republicans and praise democrats on your show, real republicans are libertarians not liberal democrats. You want the government out of your personal business, but the government needs to parent everyone else. You are a so called atheist who believes the Zionists do no wrong. Israel is not worth one American life! Let the rest of the world fix their own problems. I am a libertarian and an atheist I am not a racist but I did not vote for our president and neither is every one who did not vote our president. Why don't you have people like John Stossel, Drew Cary, or Peter Schiff the man who saw the crash coming even though you say no one did? I think you are a conceited hypocrite you are not the smartest person in the world!

some dood said...

i think bill is mad at blogga

Anonymous said...

Bill - I can't see a way to email you or your staff directly, so I'll have to say it here (re April 16, 2010 show); re Goldman Sachs SEC charge -- it's NOT complicated. Please don't dismiss it as such on your show. Have someone like Felix Salmon of Reuters jon (he explains this stuff beautifully). It's actually a really simpled charge - if it goes to a jury, one thing GS will certainly do is try and MAKE it complicated, and snow them.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill

Since Orly Hates and Rupert Murdoch's fake news story tellers are no longer allowed to Tea Bag in public, its your turn. No worries, just serve Thorazine in the punch and play country music for 1-2 hours before you present. They may not be as responsive as your usual audience, but they won't blow your ass away either.

Anonymous said...

Bill I watched your documentry religous and it seems you like to interview people that have more emotional beliefs then actual bible based knoledge of the scriptures. I think your way of selling doubt and negativity is not entertaining. Its obvious your way of making a living is calling people out politically or otherwise.Your work in way only proves that this system of things will never work.
I challenge you to read a publication " what does the bible really Teach" www.jw.org you download it for free no charge

Anonymous said...

I think you are a very funny man. Thats what your job is..to be funny..so I don't take you seriously. Keep us laughing....maybe you should run for president...ha ha hah ROFL ha ha ha...jeese what a dip!

kiee1 said...

World Tea Company We as a company are angry at the U.S.A as we here the call for more tea , we send it,Why does no one want our tea ? Also we saw on CNN baggers wanting jobs? We had tripled production sent the Tea to the USA . I find nobody who wants to bag tea , no one who drinks it .Lipton already bags ample tea for the USA . So America again rips us off the tea glut is a very real problem . Next year we plant herbal tea and opium . Shame on you USA you asked for tea Yet you want herbal our opium . Make up your minds! If you want tea drink it if not quick the party no Tea no party. Kiee1@world tea company

Anonymous said...

There will be no cooperation as long as ignorent rednecks in right to work states are allowed to make cars Sen Shelbey ignorent himself continues the redneck brand

BRP said...

Bill,

I watched the religion show on Showtime. I guess I'm troubled by the fact that you did not seem to talk to anyone who could speak intelligently about the faith (Christianity). And I will be honest...if I had to be taught by the kind of people that you interviewed I would be very skeptical too. Have you considered going to the campus of Dallas Theological Seminary or Trinity Evangelical Divinity School or Southern Seminary in Kentucky...Places where there are people who can really speak to some of the issues that you raise. I'll pray for you buddy. I think you are right on in that man has certainly corrupted the faith, but one just because man has "done a number" on Christianity, does not change the truth of Christianity. When I was a kid, I hated history...seemed like I could never get all those names and dates right. I couldn't remember the names of the presidents, I couldn't remember the battles of the civil. I just had all my history wrong. But it didn't matter how much I messed up the history lesson, it didn't change the fact that the events really did happen. My errors did not change the truth, and so I had to re-read and study and learn so that I could recite it correctly. It's the same with the scriptures...Just cause PEOPLE get it wrong, or parts of it wrong, does it change the scriptures themselves.

carl said...

Right on Bill !

Ellen said...

Well done. Yeah, one of the best new rules.
But WHY are you defending cap and trade laws? That is the wrong way to go about it.
There's a good short video on the subject here...
http://www.storyofstuff.com/capandtrade/

Brian Bollinger said...

Mr. Maher,
I would like to say I resent being called a racist and member of the Ku Klux Klan based on the sole fact I agree with political views of the Tea Party movement. I respect your right to form your own opinion on key issues within our government in fact I served this country to protect that right. It is wrong to used such hateful terms without basis.

Anonymous said...

Bill

I like Jesse Ventura's views. You always have great guests!

Bard Elron Hu said...

Hey Bill

We bought Alaska from Russia, now lets sell it to China. Heres why:

1. To pay off the national debt
2. To Balance trade deficit - we can outsource our oil professionals to China
3. To say good-bye to Todd & Sarah!

Sin-El Bardo said...

I would like to suggest that the tagline 'tea party', which denotes a ritual performed by materially insulated snobs with breathing difficulties resulting from universally having silver spoons removed from their inbred sinus cavities and hopefuls wishing to breed this defect out, indicates exactly how far behind the times aforementioned hillbillies actually are.

I am sure Bill Maher has already spilled his bong laughing over this but if you haven't seen the esteemed Keith Olberman presenting James' Thurber's Fables For Modern Times, dig this:

Keith Olberman Presents Thurber's Fables For Modern Times

For you noids & the color blind, thats:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H85YmQ6B-vE

Republicans click HERE for additional personal instructions from the Commander and Chief

Rock on!

Buttercup said...

I have a dream!

I have a dream, that one day I will be allowed to drive my biodiesel bus on fragrant hemp oil, and throw away junk mail and phone books that are printed on annually harvested hemp paper, instead of pristine old forest clear cut by fucking redneck assholes that can't be restored in 10 inbred generations.

I have a dream, that the 1st carbon tax penalties will be paid by the marketing scum who pump 20 pounds of junk mail through my trash every month, requiring an entire recycling industry to gather it and burning it as should have been done in the first place.

I have a dream, that political criminals and embezzlers of the public coffers will be prosecuted to a greater extent than poor people who can't pay their taxes + penalties and interest. I have a dream that the Clintons and Bushs will be brought to trial and all the surviving witnesses will testify.

Ok, maybe thats a bit much to ask, but maybe the 1st 2?

Anonymous said...

Where's the Pope with a miracle when you need him? whats the price for this forgiveness?

Boy Scouts ordered to pay $18.5M in sex abuse case

Beerheart said...

Bill

You look goofy in your tea party hat. These tools have taken street theater back to the Flintstones, not even aware they are being pranked. No one is going to take them seriously, especially while their organizers lurk in the shadows like the criminal thugs they are.

Marshal McLuhan could not have given a better example: the medium is the message. The media is under lockdown, yet this circus is being televised? Hmm. And oh what an unfocused, cranky, bloated message it is: America has PMS! Kicking the Bush 'its 1955 in America and everything is fine" Matrix.

"They find it harder to locate their external enemies than to grapple with their internal conditions. Their seemingly impersonal defeat has spun a personally tragic plot and they are betrayed by what is false within them."
C Wright Mills, White Collar: The American Middle Classes 1951

Hang on to the hat though, you might need a disguise to escape Bedrock if the mob attains a critical mass of petulant tantrum.

On a material point, your youtube clips have positive vote counts on the order of 99.9% of voters loving it. And that including the open attacks by the paid disinformation posters. Maybe Youtube will show their appreciation and pay you in Second Life money, then some ex CIA can show you how to launder it into real goods.

On 4/19 President Obama the Black Djinn signed an executive order to create the "President's Management Advisory Board", a tiger team whose 180 day mission is to survey the Federal government and make recommendations to overhaul and refine the rube's Goldberg twinky machine.

I don't know if they can take squeeze pound of fat from these litigious chuckleheads, but everyone except the death culters have to admit, isn't that better than a Bible, a Ouija board and the launch codes?

The Bushs' gangs reign of terror is over! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Beerheart said...

Can you imagine W, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney using a Ouija? They'd break it!

Anonymous said...

The Wisdom of Gore Vidal

some dood said...

in the usa you can be arrested just for paying a $15 parking ticket..

parking ticket link

Anonymous said...

"Obama believes the Republican Party is a party when in fact it’s a mindset, like Hitler Youth, based on hatred — religious hatred, racial hatred. When you foreigners hear the word ‘conservative’ you think of kindly old men hunting foxes. They’re not, they’re fascists.” - Gore Vidal

Anonymous said...

$5000 ticket

Didn't he go to high school? Just tell them the dog did it!

saluti said...

God bless you Bill :) You're doing a yeomanly job in making us look at ourselves through a looking glass and not like what we see .... Yet you seem to keep missing the point ... The mortal sin that most Christians are committing is not in what they do in their private lives but it is in their complicit acceptance of their governments wars here & there AND their silence with respect to all the pain , suffering , death & destruction these wars are causing to sooo many innocents ... C'mon Bill , do some REAL good and start shedding some light on that , rather than the same old , same old ...

I Never Did said...

Yeah Bill c'mon and take responsibility for all the con artists! The Jesus story is art: he never existed, yet 2000 years later the suckers are still coming! Is this not the textbook course of study for con artists?

Anonymous said...

Dear Bill, I have found myself to a place in a web world that i would be called a dumbass at best, but I just watched Religilous for the first time, and don,t know how to thank you. I am a product of the 60's and 70's small town Catholic Priest Crap. I would do anything to help my fellow abused friends and strangers. You my friend, are a gift to those of us who have had No Voice. Don't know what took me so long to watch such a great validation to my "Are you kidding me " Religious views. I again, thank you for the courage to finally confront one of my abusers.

Anonymous said...

I hope that justice is done. And also vengence, for it is the LORD to do and he will do it to you, for all that you have said and done.

AG Corcoran said...

I want to know how America got this stupid. It's still hard to believe every day when I wake up. Expose the Political Structure for what it truly is: a 50's style, small town football rivalry between Team A (GOP) and Team B (DNC). Our social and Political progress remains in sisiphian back and forth as the two teams throw the ball back and forth. We're like neurotic animals in a zoo., watching our history go by, uninvolved, but bellowing all the way to the grave.

ZenGrouch said...

"I hope that justice is done. And also vengence, for it is the LORD to do and he will do it to you, for all that you have said and done."...

Hey, you, Shit for Brains! If your lord is all about "vengence" why isn't he doing something about all the bad shit doing down in his name, like priests fucking little boys in the name of Jesus?

Those kids were probably praying to Jesus, while priests were ripping their assholes to shreds.

Oh, yeah, your lord is one tough motherfucker, all "I'll get your ass later bitch! Oh, I'd do it now, but I'm busy with some other really important shit, like giving babies in Africa AIDS."

Take your holy "vengence" and shove it up your butt hole, ya' ignorant fuck!

ZenGrouch said...

"I hope that justice is done. And also vengence, for it is the LORD to do and he will do it to you, for all that you have said and done."...

Hey, you, Shit for Brains! If your lord is all about "vengence" why isn't he doing something about all the bad shit doing down in his name, like priests fucking little boys in the name of Jesus?

Those kids were probably praying to Jesus, while priests were ripping their assholes to shreds.

Oh, yeah, your lord is one tough motherfucker, all "I'll get your ass later bitch! Oh, I'd do it now, but I'm busy with some other really important shit, like giving babies in Africa AIDS."

Take your holy "vengence" and shove it up your butt hole, ya' ignorant fuck!

Quinuclidinyl Benzilate said...

I want to know how America got this stupid.
Wow, thats a harsh indictment. Good thing its not based on fact.

Here is George Carlin's explanation:
I want to know how America got this stupid

But personally, it is my firsthand experience that American intelligence went underground when the government declared war on the kids, and the "activists" who were steering them toward the truth. Carlin is right, but not about the role of school. You see, while the the academic scores obviously vary directly proportional to income, the bell curve for intelligence tests is the same regardless of economic circumstance: the lower classes hid their intelligence. So, when you hear some elite dimwit ask where the lost generation went, know that they are the only ones for whom it is lost.

As in all cultures facing oppression, the best of the best joined the CIA or took their brains underground. You've just been feeling the yuppies and their herds of sheeple, shall we say the mediocre and the wannabes?

In truth intelligent Americans of limited economic means were driven out of the political/public sphere during the late 60s and the academic sphere in the 70s. I can prove it, but this is not the forum for that. This doesn't mean that they do not exist, it means they aren't allowed to participate. Consider in the US we went from over 50 corporations controlling media outlets in 1983 to only 5 today; I'd like to recommend to every NSA or CIA spook who has a heart that they quit and run like Hell.

Just like the rest of us.

I suggest you turn off the TV for a few months, then maybe a year. It will clear your head and get you back in touch with the people around you. The single most valuable asset in the world has always been time, still is. Take yours back: drop out. Chances are, you'll find us.

Peace

Quinuclidinyl Benzilate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quinuclidinyl Benzilate said...

I hope that justice is done. And also vengence, for it is the LORD to do and he will do it to you, for all that you have said and done.

I hope justice is done too, but I don't expect it to happen spontaneously. As for the LORD I've met his cocksucking child molesting child abusing representatives and they are the first ones I want to see justice done to.

You say Church of Rome, I say Roman Empire Psych op: Either way 2 obviously brilliant women are so hot!

RICO the frocksuckers.

Quinuclidinyl Benzilate said...

Questions or comments? Contact Christ's Vicar on Earth directly at

In English: benedictxvi@vatican.va
In Italian: benedettoxvi@vatican.va

I recommend using translate.google.com to flame his ass in both languages; think of him as Santa Claus. Btw google can't translate Latin yet - which should have been done to deal with the lieu before they became what it is, and their support of oriental languages is also lacking. Considering the vital relevance of both in the modern world I'd like to question who owns them...

Anonymous said...

Episode 181 - You need to do some research about the *NEW* technology being created from the Constellation project and other projects to help us get back to the moon and Mars. You don't cut spending to something that could create and provide technology that sells! I do agree cut spending on the wars, out of control military budget spending, etc but not NASA!!!! This only discourage people to become scientists and engineers!

AndreaB6767 said...

Hi Bill,
can you read this blog?

We The People

http://w3th3peopl3.blogspot.com/2010/04/welcome-to-we-people-blog.html

I started it today to bring to light an idea to have gornment running better and for the people.

I know you care about ideas on how to have a liberal, fair goverment that works for the people instead of the few with lots of $$$.

Thanks

Gina said...

Hello Bill,

I'm a senior at GW University, and actually got a change to talk to one of these supposed teabaggers. He was 50, and I knew so much more than him. I want to to read this piece a friend of mine sent me about if the Tea Party was Black.

http://ephphatha-poetry.blogspot.com/2010/04/imagine-if-tea-party-was-black-tim-wise.html

Gina

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ Bill,

I never thought anyone could make a tea party look so Hasidic.

You never cease to amaze. Cheers brother!

Anonymous said...

Oh please, bugger my ass so I don't mind you openly robbing me!

Anonymous said...

Bill,

Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8eOX8TPKuo&NR=1

Thats where your investments went. Go, visit the "Fab".

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! Wish your stand-up was coming to the Boston area.

Joe Pissonmaher said...

"Shut the fuck up while I slap your face for making noise -- now pass a cap-and-trade law, you stupid bitch, and repeat after me: 'global warming is real!'"

Everyone in America should see that this is how you represent the Democrap (sic) party.

The party of violence and degrading women.

But just so you don't think me simply squeamish, why don't YOU SHOVE YOUR LITTLE OBAMA LOVE DOLL UP YOUR ASS (again), you dumb useful idiot for jihad and communism?

PS - heard your "if you're a racist, you must be a republican comment".

Try this, you pizza-faced anus-licker of marxism:

If you're a jihadist or a dumb communist, YOU MUST BE A STUPID DEMOCRAT.

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Gabriel said...

Bill, for you to watch. You always looking for new things to talk about. Maybe you can use it on your program.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdXwP5f_Yjs

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