Friday, October 15, 2010

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" Oct 15, 2010

Friday, October 15, 2010

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”

Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, October 15, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.

A very joyous week. A week where the whole world was watching a bunch of men trying to climb out of a hole they dug for themselves…but enough about the Democrats. Let’s talk about those Chilean miners.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

Michael Jackson could have come back from the dead with Jesus and you wouldn’t have seen it on TV this week. Americans love Chilean miners. I haven’t seen so much hoopla about an endless procession emerging from a scary hole since…the Octomom.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

One guy had four women waiting for him; there was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the release of the Chilean miners

They asked her to name a Supreme Court case that she disagreed with; she said Kramer vs. Kramer.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Delaware debate between candidates Christine O’Donnell and Chris Coons

The Obama administration had quite a day today annihilating the people who might vote for them. They appealed the ruling striking down “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” even though they are supposed to be for striking it down. And then they said even if California legalized pot, the feds would still come in and bust people. But in fairness to Obama, it is an election year and Democrats can’t afford to be seen being for freedom or equality.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

He convinced Newt Gingrich and I to go on tour together. That’s how much he believes in bringing people together.
- Rev. Al Sharpton regarding President Obama

People earn what society is willing to pay them. We have multi-millionaire athletes because people…will go and pay $80, $90, $100, $150, $200 for a sports ticket. But yet, at the same time they don’t want to put that sort of effort on backing within our educational system and our teachers don’t make as much. This is a societal problem. People value entertainment more than they do their kids’ education.
- Dana Loesch

New Rule: I'm all against bullying, but the makers of Glee can't promise to fight back with a special episode about the problems of gay teenagers since every episode of Glee is about the problems of gay teenagers. It's like making a special episode of "House" where someone gets a weird disease, everyone misdiagnoses it, and then House shits on them and figures it out.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

New Rule: Jerry Brown must stop apologizing for being in the same room when someone called Meg Whitman a whore. If you wanna see a woman really get mad, compare a whore to Meg Whitman.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

This week's guests were the Rev. Al Sharpton, John Legend, Dana Loesch, Markos Moulitsas and Dan Neil.

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

If Bill could he would be black. In Bill's view there are only a couple of cool white dudes(the old LA famous dudes who smoke weed with him that also have the delusion that they are cool and hip) and every black person is cool. Especially black guys! I would not be surprised is he is gay and has a black lover. Even if he wasn't gay he would go down on just about every black dude on the planet. In his eyes he would be cool by association.

Anonymous said...

Did John Legend just grunt the entire show? I kept wondering what that was then they showed him do it.

Unknown said...

http://www.bluevirginia.us/diary/2006/this-teacher-reacts-to-seeing-waiting-for-superman

An excellent critical review of Waiting for Superman.

Anonymous said...

Bill misquoted Eisenhower:
"Beware" not "behold" the military-industrial complex

david rothschild said...

Bill you wondered why O'Reilly's comment about Muslims was so bad? What if I said all Catholics are child molesters. Do you get it now?

Anonymous said...

Its obvious to anyone not brainwashed by the DNC that President OJ hates white people.

Anonymous said...

Bill- you NEED to watch the infomercial for BodyGospel: Your faith-based weight loss solution.

It is RIDICULOUS!!! It is like a 30 minute Saturday Night Live digital short. I can't believe it is a real product.

Educator Howell said...

Bill - Thanks for saying "bad" teachers are a very small part of our education problem. All the teachers I know attempt to be "super heroes" every single day in their own classrooms, and YES, it is a "societal problem", along with poverty, teaching English as a second language, large inner-city immigrant populations (legal and ILLEGAL), mismanaged school funding, huge school districts, unrealistic standards and expectations, and parents who do not have the time or the education to help their children. I wish people would stop blaming the teachers. Unfortunately, us teachers need our unions to protect us from further abuse.

Anonymous said...

I cried through the monologue after New Rules. Bill Maher is a genius. I hope one day people (not only from America, but from my country, Brazil) will look back and be thankful to this man who made the effort to dig out the truth and had the guts to speak it out. The show makes me feel alive. Why is it so rare to see someone with this level of integrity? I am glad that HBO airs this show (I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me terrorists and radical christians threaten them and Bill every week). Please keep the show going for as long as you can. I would also like to add, since radical christians, terrorists and whatnot might be reading this post: if you feel offended by what Bill says on the show, then maybe (1) you are not fully convinced of your beliefs and you are scared some antichrist might just steal them away, (2) you don't have a sense of humor (3) good! so you're not the only ones who have the right to offend whoever is different from you! or (4) all of the above. (please excuse my English). Long live Bill Maher and HBO!

Denis Diderot said...

Mankind shall not be free until the last king is strangled in the entrails of the last priest.

Anonymous said...

Dan Neil has a lot more to say about how to stimulate our economy and go green at the same time. Have him back as a primary panelist and dig deeper into the economic and environmental solutions. Thanks!

Unknown said...

As usual there's lot's of bullshit flying on this show!

Dan Neil states GM bailout saved a BILLION JOBS! Right. Bailouts have been paid back? WRONG - Here's just GM alone: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/02/business/02gret.html?_r=1 Also Mr. know it all Neil may want to read the CBO report that shows the gov. losing $30B on the GM deal.

Iraq war cost LESS that the STIMULESS - check your facts Including HR4899 2010 appropriation the CBO shows Iraq at $751B. Here's the latest accounting report: www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL33110.pdf - the Stimuless? Well there were two rounds but just looking at the Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 it's spent $787B to date: http://www.recovery.gov/Pages/home.aspx I believe that's $36B MORE! Get these know it all liberals a calculator! Neil, Maher, Legend and Carlos need to get their facts straight before arrogantly mis-informing people. Kind of undermines their credibility.

Isn't it interesting how Bill cleans up his 'teabagger' slurs (which he previously defended - if it's all good, why the change?)

KUDOS on the failure of education, excessive funding and union abuses. Great point on the poverty and societal problems. When you have no parenting, no stable male role models and most children born illegitimately to a parent who likely had a similar parenting backround, you get what we got! Carlos whines the old myth that teachers are underpaid, he's clearly out of touch with reality. My respect for Legend (which was already low - he's not all that musically) is now ZERO. He's an idiot.

It would have been nice to let the tea-party woman speak instead of the three stooges ganging up on her every response with their fact-absent attacks. But hey, that's what the show is all about and the biased robot's in the audience cheer predictably. Palin sucks-clap clap clap, Republicans suck - clap clap clap, teabaggers suck- clap clap clap

For a guy who calls 'racist' about every five minutes, Maher sure demonstrates a lot of stereotyping, demonizing and bigotry. But hey, the targets of his bigotry are white folks so it's all o.k. If he used the same kind of degrading slurs as 'teabagger' against a minority HE'D be labeled a racist!

Anonymous said...

Well, GM bail out did save jobs - in Mexico & Germany, maybe even Canada.

Buraq Obama has increased federal spending by 19%; stunningly full of shit. Economists are using the terms 'plundering' and 'predatory' to describe domestic federal fiscal policy. The 4 corporations that own all the media are making sure you don't hear this, sheople. The federal government under Obama is so much more incredibly out of control than under Bush and his hayseeds, one can not consider the president as being at all in control, not even representative of what the government is actually doing.

America is overrun by enemies within. While I fear for my nation, Bill Maher promote inflammatory divisive racist rhetoric. Bill Maher, the voice of the Hypnotic Brainwashing Operation.

Turn off the TV people. Absolute garbage.

Anonymous said...

LOVE the show! The Brett Favre, white men, and Conservative women bit at the end was great. Finally a show for helping liberals stay sane amidst the crap-storm of media on regular tv. Keep up the good work!

Chief said...

You must read Denianetics and The Children's Guide to Christianity both by J.Bear. You will thank me.

Anonymous said...

“It is impossible to enslave man merely by slaving his body.  The mind also must be held, and to accomplish this, fear is the accepted weapon.  The common man must fear life, fear death, fear god, fear the devil, and fear most the overlords, the keepers of his destiny.”      - Manly Palmer Hall

The B1s said...

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they lead you straight
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You're living in your Private Guantanamo.
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Keep off the path, beware the gate,
watch out for signs that say "hidden fees".
Don't let the television in your eyes
blind you to the awful surprise
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the end of the endless line of fools.

You're livin in your Private Guantanamo. Guantanamo.
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Get out of the police state,
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You're living in your Private Guantanamo.
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Keep off the grass,
keep on the path.
The lawn may be green
but you better not be seen
walkin' through the gate that leads you down,
down to the fools making danger,
these fools are not strangers.

You're living in your Private Guantanamo,
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Well, don't be blind to the big surprise
swimming round and round like the deadly hand
of a plutonium clock, at the bottom, of the pool.

G-G-G-uantanamo
G-G-G-uantanamo
Woah oh oh woah oh oh woah oh oh
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
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Where's my damn learjet?

Anonymous said...

Ask the Russians & the Chinese: Marxism didn't work.

How is it our stupid politicians don't get it?

Anonymous said...

Bill, you're an idiot. I saw your clip and you just couldn't help yourself with the teabagger taunt. I'm glad dana tore you a new one. BTW Reagan did not bail Chrysler. Carter did.

Anonymous said...

A great war leaves a country with three armies: an army of cripples, an army of mourners, and an army of thieves.

NateJ said...

Wow...truly amazing the level of right wing spin in this blog. Bill, if you read through this you may get more ideas for the show...
First, while the Carter Admin put the Chrysler Bailout concept together, the Senate version on the bill was written by a Republican (Lugar from IN) and a Democrat (Tsongas from MA) And, while the first check was written while Carter was in office, Regan decided it was a good idea and it was under his administration that the majority of the bailout was completed...Also, why has Regan suddenly become the rallying cry of the right? Similar to Jesus and Rush Limbaugh's high school waistline, Regan is not coming back...If Sarah Palin and Christine ODonnell is the best you can throw out there..(oh, now I get the pining for Ronnie, sorry)
Lastly, can we please stop with the Socalisim and Marxism BS?? My guess is that none of you know much about either. But, if Hannity says it, then by God it's true! I mean, how could a guy with hair that perfect lie to anyone?....

Anonymous said...

Right you are Nate, lets not have any big government, leaning left or right, or subservient to Popes & monarchs. That is the core principal of secular humanism, which is what the American experiment is about.

What is relevant about these systems is that they have been around longer than us and they are out to put us down, to reclaim their slaves & reestablish their status quo of tyranny.

Barbara Bush said...

Why should we hear about body bags, and deaths...I mean, it's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that? (3.18.2003)

Anonymous said...

...can we please stop with the Socalisim and Marxism BS?

The most inbred class checks in... no wonder we're in this mess. Thats 'socialism', Frodo.

Anonymous said...

You should really read the United States Constitution and the First Amendment. Find the words "Separation of Church and State".

NateJ said...

...can we please stop with the Socalisim and Marxism BS?

The most inbred class checks in... no wonder we're in this mess. Thats 'socialism', Frodo.

An obvious attempt at humor...perhaps you missed the O'Donnell quote...what a surprise. Also, excellent counterpoints...

NateJ said...

You should really read the United States Constitution and the First Amendment. Find the words "Separation of Church and State".

Nice regurg of Rush!! Good Going...just like when the Republicans got killed, He and Beck, and Hannity all starting saying that they were "conservative" not Republican and you all started saying it...now "Separation of Church and State" will become the new "conservative"....Give me a break, you can do better! You look so foolish defending her...if I was a right wing tool I would be so pissed that that's the best DE has.
How about just about every Supreme Court ruling on the subjsct since its founding...Its obvious and has been obvions forever, and now because your hope in Delaware is a complete idiot, you have to drag this out as a defense....I really feel sorry for you

Anonymous said...

Natej,

Your insulting tone & criticisms would be more effective if you spell correctly.

I think you're saying the RNC is changing terminology to obfuscate their agenda? So whats new? The criminals are redefining the whole political vocabulary in order to negate the application of history and to circumvent existing laws on technicalities.

Tyrants pave over history to assert control. Censorship is immediate thought control. The fucking Roman Catholics destroyed the history of the world, the Chinese despots, who claim to be communists administering capitalist policies for a socialist state, wiped their own history for this reason. China, the most barbaric and simultaneously wealthy people in the world... what America is going to be like if we don't take it back. Got fresh organs? If I had the means I would make a hobby of compromising Chinese censorship, to free those people. Instead I have to face the identical censorship policies being championed by the owners (MOSSAD) of Obama, Bushs, Clintons, Reagan, etc. Regan was someone else.

Everything else is just blinders to keep us in the cattle run. Keep 'em distracted.

Google George Carlin's last rant. List his predictions then check off the ones that have already come true. When the president says he is above the law and law enforcement does nothing, the Constitution is de facto out the window.

Anonymous said...

Every 38 seconds Obama's goons jack up & tax a kid for weed. 90% are charged with possession only.

Rob from the poor to give to the rich?

Barack Obama is just like that mean spirited corporate-puppet devil cock-sucking fascist b-actor Ronald Reagan. We all so happy that cracker dead.

Anonymous said...

They found Scott Peterson but they can't find 30 million illegal aliens who are plundering the civilian population.

Thats one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.

Anonymous said...

2 part post. Part 1.

I want to address the questions Bill brought up with respect to education. Bill is right to point out that our current educational system simply does not work for kids who are in poverty. He was also right in claiming that the reason for this goes beyond merely the quality of teachers.

What then is the root of the problem? Why don't our schools work, especially for poor kids? I believe there are two kinds of answers to this problem and one kind is a lot easier to solve than the other.

First, the hard one: kids in poverty don't stay in school because they know that it's not really going to help them in life. What would happen if every poor kid in the country actually did graduate from high school? How many more office workers and Starbucks baristas do we actually need? The fact is, we already have too many as it is in comparison with the number of jobs that are out there in those areas, to say nothing of the fact that no one really wants to be working at Starbucks anyways. There is a structural problem with our economy such that there is a fundamental gap between the kinds of things that education helps us to do and the jobs that are actually available.

Again, suppose every poor kid in the country did graduate high school. Suppose further that these kids wanted to go to college. Do you think there's actually room for them even in public universities, or even community colleges? Since the 60s the public investment in higher education has steadily declined. We've been building prisons to house poor kids rather than universities to educate them. The latest recession has seen states cut funding to higher education, including community colleges, even further. Already, at the community college and state college level, there are far more potential students who are ready and qualified to learn than there are slots for them. Sure, perhaps you can get admitted. But can you actually get a seat in the classes that you need, much less the ones you want?

So why doesn't our educational system work for poor folk? Well, stepping back a bit, because it's not designed to work for them. In fact, it's designed to ensure that poor kids fail, because our economy as presently constituted depends upon that result. If you're poor in America, you are meant to end up either 1) in jail 2) in the military or 3) working menial jobs (e.g, janitor, dishwasher, fast food cook, security, etc.) that people with education think themselves above. These are the things that our society wants the poor to be doing with their lives because these are the ways that the rich can make the most money off of them. To really change these outcomes in a significant way would require more fundamental changes to the nature of the economy. We need to have things that poor educated folk could do that would significantly improve upon the options they have at present.

Anonymous said...

arrogant blog spamming moron.

Anonymous said...

Bill you seem like you are being seduced by a too good to be true prize in exchange for committing a great atrocity. Like this:

"They never liked me!" - Riffraff's justification for killing everyone.

No one lives forever, but you will have to live with yourself.

Yoshi said...

I think the statement O'Reilly made is completely miss leading. The equation implied in it is very dangerous, and it is the fundamental of discrimination/racism/stereotyping. Pointing out a portion of the whole and saying it out loud as “fact” is typical example of offensive behavior. For example,
“Catholic people were molested when they were children.”
“German people killed Jews.”
“American Airlines destroyed the World Trade Center.”
“White people rape children.”
“Black people are poor.”
These are “facts” too, but not completely true. When someone averred these things, there are intentions to mislead other people and it becomes very offensive.

What do you think, Bill?

Mark Boscariol said...

I was absolutely flabbergasted by the wrongheaded conclusions Bill drew from "WAITING FOR SUPERMAN"

If he couldn't see that the movie concluded that more class time/year round schooling which is thwarted by the teachers unions and ending tenure is the solution to all our problems then he has become a nonsensical idealogue.

The U.S. has the lowest amount of school days and one of the shortest school day.

Its sad that the guy who so proudly claims you can't logically believe in religion, can not see the logic of this clearly defined movie

Anonymous said...

Bill,

Thanks for trying to point out the facts to Mr. Legend. The public schools are not broken and to blame the teachers is the most egregious mistake we can make right now. Even his out right dismissal of poverty as a "blame the victim" idea misses the point.

The facts are obvious. The charters do at least as good if not worse than public schools per the Stanford CREDO study. In fact according to said study, charters actually perform 37% worse than public schools. This whole thing is an ideologically driven move to essentially privatize the schools, which you ought to know is really about the religious right getting their prayer and creationism on.

Nevertheless, at the end of the day, we will be mandating that the young citizens of our country be delivered to for profit corporations for their "education." Let's see how that actually works out when they begin cutting experienced and highly educated teachers or stop buying books and supplies in order to make a profit. Seems a little like the health care mandate they forced on us. You just wait until they get their hands on our social security. Its all about privatizing everything man. We (By we I mean the right and the Obama Admin.) are trashing the public sphere. Its such a shame.

Anyway, teachers work hard. If they are protected by due process rights from being unfairly dismissed it is because people like Mr. Legend would have their heads for silly reasons like they cost the system way too much money or he doesn't like the cut of their jib. This trope about bad teachers needing to be dismissed is a true to the extent that the system does not dismiss them. There is a process in place and it is not being used. That is not the teacher's fault. That is the administrator's fault.

Last but not least, as a leftist and a teacher, I fully agree with your TeaBagger lady when she said its the parent's responsibility to make sure the kids behave themselves and do their work. People need to stop waiting for a savior and take their lives into their own hands.

Peace,
wardad

Anonymous said...

why do people keep arguing that the bailouts are more expensive than the invasion/occupation of iraq? why is this even an issue? you "conservatives" seem to have no problem with a repugnant (sorry, republican) president spending billions killing people in foreign countries and getting americans killed in the process, but you become enraged when a democrat spends money trying to help dig this country out of the mess made by the republicans! i remember everyone who didn't agree with Bushy being called "unamerican" and "unpatriotic." why are you ok if money is spent for death and destruction, but you are completely against it being spent to help people (in this country)? you people aren't just unamerican and unpatriotic, you are inhuman.

Anonymous said...

There are no democrats or republicans, its the same people.

So far about 2 trillion on 'bailouts'. Bailout is a new word that means 'steal'. That 2 trillion dollars is gone, faster than an X plane with next generation stealth. So its understandable the people named as debtors are extremely angry.

Obama has done far worse. You'll find out, probably before they fit your for the electroshock dog collar...

During the same interval CIA reports state the US officially spent a trillion dollars slaughtering people, almost all in other countries. The reports also state that this number can be regarded as shamelessly low. Where they provided estimates it can be inferred that the organized homicidal maniacs of the world actually spent 200-250% more; including unsecured loans and phony accounting tricks, about 4-6 trillion.

So yes, it is more expensive to kill the disenfranchised. But thats the point, isn't it? There is no profit in addressing legitimate grievances and making reparations. If you are a psychotic coward peace makes you feel bad and happiness is intolerable.

Unknown said...

New one for you Bill, Have you noticed how Bristol Paylin Has an uncanny resemblance to Meg from Family Guy.

Anonymous said...

Get Tom Hartmann on your show A very Great mind.

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Tell people about FSTV or LINK TV
very good NEWS.

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