QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, March 9, 2012. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
There are posters all over town…all over the country that say Kony 2012. It’s a little confusing though because today he pulled ahead of Romney in the polls.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
He was campaigning in Mississippi and said ‘some of my best friends spill oil in this gulf.’
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue about Mitt Romney’s inability to campaign to regular people
In the south, Mitt is going to have trouble with the whole Mormon thing. When he says sister wife down there, it means a whole different thing.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
He lost so many advertisers that on Thursday there was five minutes on his show of dead air. And most observers agree he’s never been so eloquent.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Rush Limbaugh
In a ‘winner take all’ electoral system, they are just not made for third parties.
- Andy Stern
Whether or not people out there really push these political parties to a new space…whenever the cataclysmical impact happens, it’s going to be transformative because you’ve already seen the seed bed laid in these activist groups. Whether it’s the Tea Party, whether it’s Occupy, the citizens are paying much more attention now.
- Michael Steele
That’s America. Sometimes you are made to feel uncomfortable. Can we put this into perspective, no one died, a guy made a bad joke.
- Bill Maher on the backlash of Rush Limbaugh’s ‘slut’ comment
I am defending living in a country where people don’t have to be afraid they might go out of bounds for one minute. Do we all want to be talking like White House spokespeople?
- Bill Maher on the backlash of Rush Limbaugh’s ‘slut’ comment
I am a potty mouth. That’s different than being a misogynist.
- Bill Maher on the comparison between him and Rush Limbaugh
There’s a reflection here of an America that still exists that does live in fear…that freedoms are being taken away. The leadership has to somehow figure out, particularly the cycle, how to address that and move the country past that and forward.
- Michael Steele on stereotypical southern views that are still prevalent
The Democrats need to learn how to talk to people. There is a lot of prejudice but not a lot of alternatives.
- Andy Stern on stereotypical southern views that are still prevalent
New Rule: Just for shits and giggles, John McCain must make a speech on the Senate floor where he calls on America to not bomb someone. This week, John McCain said we needed to bomb Syria. Because he's John McCain. And it's a country. Duh. John McCain thinks countries need bombing like your waiter thinks food needs fresh pepper. Remember how we let John Glenn go back into space when he was 77? We should let John McCain fly one more airstrike. He's only 75. Let him do it. Then, when he crashes, we can send John Glenn to rescue him, and Ed Harris can play them both in the movie.
- Bill Maher in his ‘New Rules’ segment
New Rule: Don't pay eight thousand dollars for a McNugget that looks like George Washington. At least until you have Sarah Palin authenticate it. She could tell you if it really resembles the father of our country, the man who won the war on Christmas, crossed the Danube, signed the Declaration of Constitution, and accepted the surrender of Cornwallis at Funkytown. But Newt Gingrich is a historian too, but don't show it to him or he'll just eat it.
- Bill Maher in his ‘New Rules’ segment
This week's guests were Jon Hamm, Michael Steele, Andy Stern, Catherine Crier and Michael Oren.
