George Carlin was an inspiration to me when I was a kid thinking about becoming a comedian, and he remained one till the day he died. He had incredible timing, but not in death – he was about to receive the Mark Twain award at the Kennedy Center Honors, and still will, and I’m honored to be one of the comedians inducting him. Here’s something from the last time I saw him.
148 comments:
hey bill, I love the show keep it going. Why is it that only a small portion of our population, thinks the way you and carlin do about relegion? It scares me to know im surrounded by stupid!
George Carlin was an intelligent, thoughtful, insightful comedian. I heard your recent jokes about Sarah Palin, which contained none of those qualities. You insulted women, and you insulted Alaskans. You need to grow up, and you have some apologizing to do.
Just started watching your show - thought you were quite witty before but starting to wonder - you sure seem obsessed by the new Republican VP pick - could it be it has you worrying a bit? Lot of time devoted to a 'non person from Alaska whose Down's Syndrom son could have been linked to Edwards' - nice touch, Bill, real class. Well, I am not judgemental so will give her a try before making such swift executions on her persona. I could go either way in the elecetion, but with more people like you on the ultra left you are probably giving her a real boost in the ratings. Sure that's the opposire of what you intended but oh, well... we reap what we sow.
George Carlin was indeed one of the "few and great." You, also are in that category ;) love the show, keep it going!
i really wish you would've had the chance to have carlin on the show again. i remember waiting season after season, hoping he'd pop up and how damn giddy i was when he finally did.
the world needs more apples from that tree...
"When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse?" -GC
http://marktwainispissed.blogspot.com/
Lighten the F up Kate and Vicki, Bill is a COMEDIAN, a person who says funny things ( or is it "who says things funny"...)
All I can say about Palin's daughter is WHERE THE HELL WAS JOHN EDWARDS 5 MONTHS AGO??? But seriously...
Palin needs to have A Sisterhood of the Travelling Placenta tube tying party for her entire family.
Too many kids!
I do like her though I have to admit, religious whacko views aside. But compared to the Taliban, I'd have to call her a moderate.
I loved George Carlin since AM/FM snuck into my record collection in 6th grade, unbeknownst to my parents, but I VEHEMENTLY disagree with him , that we deserved 9/11 for our sins, a secular version of Fallwell's view. We threaten the religous hierarchy in the Mid East, and the poor there are encouraged to take one for Allah by blowing us up. It is another example of religion gone amuck.
Dear Bill, you are the ONLY PERSON in this country with whom I agree 100% on everything. It is pretty rare, since I am European and I have a hard time to share the beliefs of the American people. I cannot wait to see your documentary because this country is brainwashed by religious freaks and America is left behind in ignorance.How can a country like the US be still debating about abortion???? All the other industrialized countries in the world ( I know it is big news for the majority of Americans who believe anywhere else is 3rd world)have already approved freedom of choice, granted it back in the 60's and 70's and have moved on!
As for Sarah Palin, I totally agree with you and I cannot understand how she can be pro guns and pro life at the same time. Americans are filling their emotional "voids" with religion. Keep it up Bill, you are my absolute hero.
I only wish George was still here so I can hear what he has to say about this SUPER ELECTION. Love your work Bill.
Kim
I have copies of Levi Johnston's my space pages... one the day before he became famous and one the day after.
The first one has a HUGE picture of Obama and lists him as his hero and as his friend. I would love to post it. Anyone know how? It was of course taken down probably by his future mother in law, the MILF, the following day.
Bill, this is to you, not to your children nor to your producers: You are a hate-mongering Ho-bag... Sarah Palin's daughter is a minor... How dare you insult anyone (including her parents) in that manner? I have watched your show many times and frankly I still think You are as stupid as you look!!! and you couldn't look nor sound more stupid...
Where I come from you wouldn't be safe on the streets after that comment. Actually, there's a lot of places in this country where you won't be safe. Grizzlies are indiscriminate with their appetites and violent tempers... no Political pandering where they're concerned.
Steve32989... very curious comment you made there... surrounded by stupid, employed by the stupid, feeding with the stupid, sleeping with the stupid, why not move to the
United Stupids? where you would feel more comfortable... how 'bout Berkeley? I'm sure that would solve all of our problems... work out nicely... stupid and stupider.
Talk about a great mind. It was a rare occassion when George Carin didn't know what he was talking about.
Great clip.
Maher;
You're a real class act! Especially the joke about Sarah Palins down-syndrome baby! Now that's real comedy.....if you like fools such as yourself. It's obvious this Alaskan Governor has the left-wing liberal radicals like you and your friends scared to death! Maybe you could explain that to your audience. Could it be that she is an upstanding courageous woman that portrays the American way of life as how it should be? Probably., and it scares you socialists to death because most of mainstream America doesn't buy into your radical ideals. I've often wondered why you far-left liberals don't just move to say a third-world country where they practice socialism. Wouldn't you have that warm-fuzzy socialist feeling if you lived there? But no........you clowns continue to bash America. Tell us the truth Maher, you've got it great here in America don't you. You've got it all! More than most and you still hate it here. Guess I just don't get it.
Wow...this blog in particular really attracts quite the karaoke crowd. I especially like the fearsome, witty comment left about Grizzly Bears not allowing political pandering. Keep it up Alaska!
Thanks for YOUR wisdom Bill...breath of fresh air in the same way Carlin was. Wish there was a way for me to watch your show out here in Spain!
hey stupid, it's religion and you
are scary! Hey Bill, how do you get
off being to SEXIST and condesending. Your are OLD you look
like MCCain's brother. Like your Blaque Ho said you are a SEXIST. Why don't you balance your panel with different views. Bill YOU ARE
AN ARROGANT SNOB AND SEXIST. OLD!
I love the show. It is refreshing to listen to intelligent analysis of political issues in a world of "conservative" talk shows.
Hey how about that nasty practice
of shooting wolves from airplanes,
and killing wolf pups in their Dens a practice called "Denning",by the Alaskan Department of Fish and Game. I am surprised the Obama campaign did not bombard the airwaves with this outrageous practice. Sarah Palin
should be ashamed. I cannot believe
with tne vast numbers of animals owners in this country there is no public outcry . Well it just goes to show you unless you are helpless
wolf pup,no one really cares .Believe me if this ever got out at the level the pig wearing lipstick story did ,she could never show her face in public again
this story can be checked out on any IDA website or you tube unbelievable
charlotte Clay
I used to say that if I got Bill Maher, Penn and Teller, Robin Williams, Lewis Black, and George Carlin in the same room, the best thing to do would be to throw in a grenade. Well, now George is gone.
Mr. Maher, I just saw you on the Conan show, and have to say I am a thinking person who believes in God, and you didn't sway me one inch by your sarcastic and mocking attitude toward religion. You appear to assume that anyone who has sincere religious beliefs is a fool, and anyone with sense disregards religion.
You statements and attitude are so limited, narrow minded, and wrong it is not even worth mentioning. Are you saying that Isaac Newton was a fool, that George Washington was a fool? You are looking at the world through your OWN narrow lens obviously, because millions of THINKING people actually believe in God.
You made the comment that most people who call themselves Christian have not actually read the Bible, and/or do not understand it. Did you happen to speak with someone who does have a decent knowledge, like a theologian or well-respected minister? I'll bet not. Did you examine objectively the arguments of well-respected creationist theorists?
All you are doing with this new movie is promoting YOUR OWN OPINIONS, for whatever reason. I am a thinking person who happens to believe in God. You did not say or show anything at all to sway me on the Conan show, either by reason or by evidence. I hope other people realize this also and don't simply buy into your statements as the studio audience seemed to.
When I was young and heard Carlin's very fun skit on dirty words, I didn't really understand the real genius of it, for I just found it entertaining and funny... but the real genius was that he was using humor to get us to reevaluate why we are so gullible to believe things because someone says its so, like why a word can't be spoken on TV or radio, as he later in his career tried to do pointing out the sillyness of religion... but now we have Bill Maher taking the reigns of that cause... good luck for the odds against you making a significan difference in the idiocy of how people think are very slim.. the idiocy gene may be of some evolutionary value?
Much More Than Seven Words
George Denis Patrick Carlin
May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008
Although he really wasn’t
Everybody’s cup of tea
He was, a great comic
And he was, very funny.
He made fun of everyone
And of society’s flaws
He was arrested for it
They said, "You broke our laws!"
His, "Seven Dirty Words"
Are some, that some won’t say
But, a part of our language
And, always been that way.
His bit, played on the radio
And a man’s son, heard
But, his dad let him listen
And that’s kinda absurd.
He complained to the FCC
It went to the Supreme Court
George lost it, five to four
But didn’t stop, his retort.
A Grammy winner, actor
Author, and philosopher
He was true to himself
Said what he thought, for sure!
Considered the second best
Of all those funny men
I doubt we’ll see another
As good as him, again.
He surely was no angel
He doubted, "The Pearly Gate"
If there is, and he gets there
They’ll probably make him wait;~)
Del "Abe" Jones
06.23.2008
Hi Bill,
Great topics-religion and philosophy. I love it. The onset of existence is a mystery. It is impossible that the first human being was a result of procreation. Therefore, immaculate conception cannot be ruled out. The first monkey was not procreated either (please don't tell me that I'm decended from genetically mutated apes). As far as the existence of God, it is nonsensical to conclude that organized matter such as trees, people, animals, and nature developed the form they now take without an intelligent designer. Matter without design and organization might resemble somthing like the matter in the old classic movie, "The Blob". I believe what Aristotle said when he wrote that there is a Cause for everything. The Cause of matter taking form is the intelligent designer....the Cosmic Engineer.
Terrific! Thanks for sharing!
I have been watching Bill Maher ( I think Maher has a Persian origin) for a few years now and there is no doubt that he is extremely intelligent and questioning. There are issues with American policy across it's waves and these policies have always been adopted by powerful nations, later to be plagued by the same policies. Let us not forget, please, that 90% of the troubles in the Middle-East are the direct result of British, French and German policies during the 19th century. The British were the ones that caused the political divide in Palestine in the 1940s just as they did in South Africa and in India. Africa is in the sham that it is in now completely due to European activity during the 19th and early 20th century. Often these factors are ignored. America is the largest player therefore it gets the largest blame. The British try to occupy a high moral ground when discussing wars and occupations and ironically till 5 years ago Northern Ireland was occupied territory. How does that work? All the countries that claimed and won independence from British rule after 1945 did so not because they took advantage of a suddent development of British moral conscience, but because the British were bankrupt, and forced to release countries under their rule to go their own way. All our global problems with Islamic fundamentalism stems from these actions. After WW1 the British and the French decided to punish the Turks and created artificial countries now called Iraq and Arabia. Maps were redrawn, people were displaced, languages were destroyed and roots severed. Why is the Middle-east in turmoil? When a human being develops problems as an adult we are anxious to explore his/her past for the answers. Why does this not apply to countries. After all all countries are compositions of people with a past, or subsequently without a past. I would like to see Bill Maher, as an outspoken and intelligent champion, to discuss some of these issues and I am sure he would agree that there is a lot oh humor and comedy in history. As Alan Alda remarked in a Woody Allen film, "Comedy is tragedy plus time."
I would like to add one more token to this clip of my personal beliefs and that is that Bill Maher needs a side kick on his show. Two opinions carry more vote.
Hello Bill, ALL THE WAY from ARGENTINA. You know, I like your show, I listen to it religiously on my IPOD, and REALLY appreciate you're effort to say things as you see them. We need more of it. The rest of the media sucks. But ... alas ... on the campaign, you're just as full of it as you accuse the Repubs of being (may I clarify, I don't like the repubs). You're attack on Palin suggesting that she couldn't read a map of the Middle East was pretty lame ... but let me ask you, could How many americans, or for tham matter, how many people in politics, or frankly, you? Do you know where Belarus is? Can you find Georgia on a map? Or can you tell me what continent Surinam is in? I'll be the first to say I REALLY want the Repubs out of office, but frankly, Obama and the media (and you're one of the media) SCREWED IT UP BIGTIME, thinking you could get this noname black dude from Chicago to rally an empty media frenzy. What it looks like to me (and down here I've seen several) is a perfectly good old fashion COUP D'ETAT against Hilary. It was clear that Hilary was the candidate, she got more votes, and she would have taken the Superdelegate Vote had the media played fair. It was very curious to me when she won W.Virginia by a 42% spread NOT ONE MAJOR newspaper in the USA ran the numbers, they all said things like 'hilary wins by big margin', ya, fuking 42% big! Your jokes on Palin ARE FUNNY nonetheless, and she probably deserves every bit of it from her rather incredulous remarks, but I remind Americans, I think Bush looked like more of an idiot when he debted Gore, and he was the PRESIDENTIAL candidate. That didn't seem to scare off the red States. And then, after four years of uselessness, I remember sitting up one night down here in Argentina as the Bush reelection votes came in and thinking to myself, damn, can these people be so stupid to elect this guy again! And they were, and they did. I think Palin is about 100 points better than BUSH the first time around, so hold on to your seat and fear red. The problem with your show lately is that you are disgustingly soooooooo pro-OBAMA that it looks pathetic, particularly when you give absolutely no room to your guests to be Politically Incorrect, which used to be what you were about, I think the pro-republican people have undermined you, and now, at least while the elections live, you're just another biased media dude. Really, I think your show is a great opportunity to say what one feels, but you don't seem to like it when people think differently from you, you're putting your hatred for the repubs, above your essence. Bad move, cause it shows right through your teeth. Tough choice I presume, I am just as much against the repubs as you are, and if I were Bill Maher I would probably do the same, but I am not, I'm a fan, and I have the right to turn you off and on as I please, and you're losing me. I think you need to deal with this Obama guy more honestly. He never really shows any knoledge of how things work, he just looks and speaks smooth, and the media and the intellectuals love it. But that doesn't win elections. Political saavy does. Does he have it? I am not sure he does. You hark on Palin, but sorry to say, she's got more executive experience than all of the other three candidate put together and multiplied by four, whether you and your guests like it or not, you WILL have to swallow on this one! She may be bad, she may be illiterate, she may have no cultural knowlege, but then again, did Bush when he won the first election? At the end of the day, I really want the repubs out, but O's sly coup over Hilary makes him look like what he really seems to be, a good old conservtive harvard grad macho black dude in sheeps' clothing who woke up one day as America's postmodernist political choice for president! Maybe I am a die hard hilary fan (which really, I am not) but after what I have seen happen to her, in makes me nausious to think that O might win this after such a fradulent campaing. I would understand Hilary supporters swinging to red just to spite this guy. I am glad I am in Argentina!
Something no one has mentioned about Christians that I find really frustrating is the fact that there is a huge division between them. No one has politically used or even acknowledged this in an attempt to split up this silly far right group of twits. The truth is "born agains" despise Roman Catholics, Jews, and any other denomination that aren't "born again", that is that haven't specifically joined their little club of salvation. They are contemptuous of them, something that most Catholics and organized groups are unaware of. Bill, bring this up!!! I think if more of the mainstream religious groups of this country realized that "born agains" believe that only they are going to their little personal heaven you might see a little crack in that moral right foundation.
...hey Bill did you ever hear of the book titled, "The priest & the Politician, the Mafia of the Soul"?
..wait till you find out who "spoke" the book..!!
p.s. ...love George :)
Hi Bill
Please view this documentary named ZEITGLEIST (its about the truth of religion,9/11 and banking system)its amazing and scary for america, and please tell me that is not true or we are in big trouble....
I NEED TO KNOW....
I am being blocked at your forum community. WHY???? I do not understand or like this. I am still getting all the daily threads (500-1500)to my personnal e-mail that is obscuring other good e-mails I get and I delete all daily and miss my own!!!!!! What is going on ?? Please fix or give me a good excuse why I am being denied my free speech as I did nothing to break your terms. Muckraker4nuus
Our nation & financial system has lost confidence. I can't think of a more traitorous & terrorist act than to think the electorial POWERS would let a committed terrorist to run for president as McCain is saying. The people accusing him of this are indeed the terrorist this nation has been controled by.......or is McCain just too yellow to say because he is a nig----- (Black)??? and i8f so I can't think of anymore POETIC JUSTICE for the greedy first Americans who raped this nation and Africa (and world)! Muckrake4nuus
There are very few comedians in history that qualify as "political," and Carlin was one of the few. There are ZERO in our current culture. Bill Maher, you stand in line as most capable of taking on that role. And no, you're routine is not there already, but it could be. Good for you on your recent movie, I encourage you to take the torch.
Bill
mentioning the need to cut defense spending in half is right on the money but why don't you have Nader on your show. He was right P E R I O D
dear bill,
i have a question for you... i live in shreveport, LA (sigh, yep, that redneck city that arrested some of the actors in oliver stone's movie W>) i cannot afford hbo, so i just have to settle for little glimpses on the daily show, larry king, charlie rose, whatever... i have been a fan since i was 16 (approx 15 years).... my fiance and i were looking forward to your movie and when we tried to see it, we were not completely surprised to discover that it isn't playing here.
unfortunately, the majority of my home town thinks that if you complain about the government then you are not a "patriot".... this is to illustrate the mentality of about 70% of the shreveport population. (seriously, the other 30% makes it all worth while)
the truth is, just because you love the IDEA of america you do not have to love the corrupt bastards that are wiping their asses with the constitution....
and i can totally see those same assholes making a big deal about your movie... so, my question is this: is there anything i can do?
Never have I seen the Christian right misconstrue the teachings of Jesus Christ more than they have since Bush first ran in 1999. I don’t get how the Republican party can use words like liberal and socialist to describe the democratic party or Obama or Kerry than the RNC when if you look at the teachings of Jesus himself you can plainly see possibly the most liberal man that walked the earth. Take the story in the new testament referring to the sheep and the goats. A man comes to him and Jesus tells him he is not written in the book of life and the man asks why. Why when he was such a good church going Christian was he not in the book of life? And Jesus answered, “I knocked at your door and you didn’t answer; I was hungry and you never fed me; I was sick and in prison and you never visited me.” The man said to Jesus, “But you were never hungry, needed clothing , you were never sick or in prison so I don’t know what you mean.” and Jesus replied… “What you do unto the least of my children you do unto me.” I could easily update this story and piss off a lot of McCain and Palin supporters, but how hypocritical can you be when you hint that Obama is Un-American because he is Socialistic or the most liberal senator we have when the very definition of those words are the way Jesus asked us to be. How could the ones so wanting war, to take away social programs to help the poor, to always wish to throw the book at prisoners without regard to the positive effects of rehabilitation be the very same party that claims in Jesus name and as for the rich well we know the bible also says that it is easier for a rich man to enter the eye of a needle then to enter the kingdom of heaven so why are they so greedy to hold on to their money and how do they expect to pay for the big spending Bush has been doing and Reaganomics left to pay off as well… leave it to the grandchildren to worry about? I sit up many nights with this on my mind and I just had to say my peace about it once and for all because it seems so obvious to me. I plead to all the Christians out there to stop for a moment and realize what Jesus meant by his words and try to stop pretending their party has the golden ticket to heaven. I’m sorry, but if Jesus came back today do you think he would be in the background of a Palin rally yelling… “Drill Baby Drill! No more money to social programs for the poor! Punish those prisoners more! Liberals are Un-American , who can we bomb next or that black guy is a liberal commie!” IS THAT HOW YOU GUYS REALLY SEE THE TEACHINGS OF HIS WORD? I just say if your going to keep using his name, stop pretending you want to be like him because logic must tell you truly that Jesus was about love and not slander, gossip or hate mongering and he sure wasn’t about giving more tax breaks for the rich, taking away funding for the poor or going to war pre-emptively, but I guess if your preacher says it loud enough then the truth about it all becomes blurred because after all, faith is belief in something you don’t see in front of your eyes and I guess they found the easiest followers when the Roves and the Murdochs of the world were writing the playbook. They picked a group they thought would be the easiest to persuade and gee.. You sure didn’t prove them wrong now did you?
Can't you just see Jesus at an RNC rally calling Obama names and holding up a sign saying "your not gonna tax me or take away MY guns!"
Bill, you are the brightest candle in the darkest den of idiocy. You bring enlightenment to a country that has stigmatized intelligence and continually parades stupidity. If George Carlin, that wonderful man, had a comedic heir, you are it. Never have I laughed so hard, cried so loudly, or thought so deeply as when I watch your show. Keep piercing that thick bog of inanity with your wit and clarity. Change is coming.
i just have to say, spacetracy, that was awesome, i couldn't have said it better myself...and i have one little thing i would like to add to this, to all these bastards that keep saying ignorant things like "this country was founded on christianity" NO IT WAS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!It was founded on religious freedom, they left their country b/c they were persecuted for their beliefs and they wanted to create a place where this wasn't an issue.... and they weren't all christians, let's don't forget one of the most important figures of our country's history, benjamin franklin, and he was a deist, not a christian!!!!
Hey Bill,
You & Lewis Black are the only comedians I have seen so far to acknowledge George Carlin's passing.
I have looked forward to all his HBO specials and he was sharp and funny in his last one.
I will definitely miss him.
That said, your political commentary is outstanding in its own right. I especially enjoy your excellent guests, they make me think.
I'm not one of those people who thinks thinking is a 4 letter word.
Politicians will not stopping bumbling after 11/4 and I think we all need the levity you bring to the serious, idiotic issues on the horizon. What can we do to keep your show on every week?
Cheers!
now that George Carlin is gone, thank god you aren't...we need your political humor and say-it-as-it-is insights - your movie is terrific and hopefully it will make a difference....
The fact that Sarah Palin is a woman has nothing to do with Bill Maher's insults. American life should be the way Jefferson intended it to, the way the other founding fathers intended it to. These people were from mostly Boston, New York, Philidelphia and Northern Virginia, but the US started on the whole east coast from Maine to Georgia. This is the way of life defended by those who bled at Normandy, or fought outnumbered 15 to 1 at Iwo Jima, or at Bunker Hill, New Orleans, Midway, the Bulge or anywheres else. This is what people went to the south and registered people to vote knowing they could die doing so. This is what inspired King, and Robert Kennedy and all americans who have put being an American above all else. What is this? virtue. Serving nothing but your constitution. paying taxes, volunteering, serving in the military or peace corps or doing anything else to promote our ideals. And do our civic duty, that means voting and staying informed about every topic as much as possible. And, if you are able, to serve as a gaurdian of the oppsressed and individual rights. and a defender of the constitution. these are what american life should be. as for you personal life, you are free to do as you please. america is not a christian nation, or an atheist nation. religon is irrelevant. most of the founding fathers were deists, which i find to be the disquised gospel of I do not know, and neither do you. The american way of life is not "red state values" like going to church on sunday, worshiping at the alter of greed on the other six days, voting against your interests because you do not know anything, shooting wolves or other animals is not an american value, its just an activity, in my opinion an anti-christian activity.
Bill Maher is a hero to me as a champion of free speech. He speaks the truth, has an Ivy League education and has always turned out to be right. To me he is George Carlin, as he was George Carlin's apprentice of sorts and friend and is now what George Carlin was.
The fact that Sarah Palin is a woman has nothing to do with Bill Maher's insults. American life should be the way Jefferson intended it to, the way the other founding fathers intended it to. These people were from mostly Boston, New York, Philidelphia and Northern Virginia, but the US started on the whole east coast from Maine to Georgia. This is the way of life defended by those who bled at Normandy, or fought outnumbered 15 to 1 at Iwo Jima, or at Bunker Hill, New Orleans, Midway, the Bulge or anywheres else. This is what people went to the south and registered people to vote knowing they could die doing so. This is what inspired King, and Robert Kennedy and all americans who have put being an American above all else. What is this? virtue. Serving nothing but your constitution. paying taxes, volunteering, serving in the military or peace corps or doing anything else to promote our ideals. And do our civic duty, that means voting and staying informed about every topic as much as possible. And, if you are able, to serve as a gaurdian of the oppsressed and individual rights. and a defender of the constitution. these are what american life should be. as for you personal life, you are free to do as you please. america is not a christian nation, or an atheist nation. religon is irrelevant. most of the founding fathers were deists, which i find to be the disquised gospel of I do not know, and neither do you. The american way of life is not "red state values" like going to church on sunday, worshiping at the alter of greed on the other six days, voting against your interests because you do not know anything, shooting wolves or other animals is not an american value, its just an activity, in my opinion an anti-christian activity.
Bill Maher is a hero to me as a champion of free speech. He speaks the truth, has an Ivy League education and has always turned out to be right. To me he is George Carlin, as he was George Carlin's apprentice of sorts and friend and is now what George Carlin was.
Hi Bill,
Sarah the pro dem campaign killing post war hero slaughtering camera whoring mic gobbler reminds me of George's last words to us, long before we got a load of her.
I think George got his 2 minute warning but also foresaw the election. In March 2008 he said, and I think he was referring Palin,
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Thats marvy.
Georgie is definitely in the bardo.
You see, he had to leave us when he did. How else could he have tripped all the lame politicians and fucked with their heads... beautiful!
Looking forward to your new campaign. I know you want to focus on the rainbows but please take the time to wipe the cobwebs from our collective conscious.
The lingering scent of W is shit; Cheney's smell is au de corpse... de corpse.
There is something about the NY tri state area that breeds thinking people. You can tell the comedians that are from the area because they like to point out the rediculous bullshit that most other people from other parts of the world don't notice. Maybe we are just smarter in Jersey! www.wizardofotin.blogspot.com
George caused you to think about becoming a comedian. Obviously from what you say and how you say it, you are still thinking about it.
Funny should be a word in your vocabulary, but obviously what little snips of your show I have unfortunately had to endure, most of your attempted jokes just kind of lie there until your idiot adoring audience laughs to save your comedic ass.
Well, Bill - to bad that big head of yours is so empty, you ought to try hitting it with a hammer, it might make a good gong if the Gong Show ever returns.
Dear Bill,
I cannot believe that Kate Winslet is acting like such a dumb blonde, giggle girl, and I find it so sooo sad. I would have expected so much more. Just goes to show.
Thank you
Stacy H
Dear Mr. Maher:
I caught you riffing about "Songs for the New Depression" on Larry King a few nights ago. You began singing and ad-lib updated version of "Buddy, Can You Spare A Dime?" You sang: "Once I built a website..." and trailed off.
I had the same thought a few months ago. Hearing you inspired me to go ahead and finish the rest of the song parody. I wrote it, recorded it and produced a short video to illustrate it over the past few days. Tonight I posted it to YouTube.
I would be extremely grateful and thrilled if you would have a look and let me know what you think. I mentioned you in the notes section and included an onscreen credit at the end of the video.
Thank you again for the inspiration. Like all your fans, I adore your wry and incisive wit. You are undoubtedly the nation's foremost iconoclast and humorist working today. Keep it up!
Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxo3TrAlSPY
You know what, Mr. Mahr, I used to like you at one time. I thought you were smart and funny but now I realize you are just a brown nosing sexist, racist, separatist, idiot bigot. It isn't your fault though, you are too much of a yellow belly when it comes to standing up to people who could normally kick your little weasel ass. I guess you represent what Eric Holder calls "Cowards" because he damn sure doesn't mean the part of America I am from. Keep hiding behind a screen and accepting a complete reconstructing of America, I hope when everyone goes bankrupt you feel it real good. I am a woman and I am calling you the pussy of the year. If there were a "PUSSY of the Year" award, I would nominate you for it. Good day. Fucktard
EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS SCRIPTED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.
Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.
545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.
The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red .
If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses,
provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of theOrlando Sentinel Newspaper.
What you do with this article now that you have read it.......... is up to you
Full Length George Carlin Recordings
When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops
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In 1997 NORAD said they insure, "Aircraft flying over our air space are monitored seven days a week, 24 hours a day."
In 2004 the Air Force contradictorily said, "Before 2001, 1st Air Force was charged with keeping an eye on the nation’s borders, usually looking for threats in the form of Russian aircraft skirting too close for comfort to the mainland. In those few hours, the command’s mission went from looking outward to looking inward."
See the 5 articles on NORAD at www.DNotice.org
In honor of Carlin:
New Rule: Words matter. Stop calling it a "Single Payer System" and start calling it "Universal Health Care". "Single Payer System" sounds a lot like, "Hey you, pay now!" whereas "Universal Health Care" sounds like unicorns and rainbows will shoot out of Miss Universe's ass each time you make a copay.
a few Carlin quotes:
Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? (...because apparently Dick Cheney is.)
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show.
When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
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"The consensus reality is often intentionally misleading." George Carlin
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Contrary to the hype being unemployed is not like a long, wonderful vacation. For one thing, all your stuff is still there when you get back from a vacation. Another thing, your wife or girl friend enjoys you a whole lot more when you're on vacation... she's still there when the vacation's over. The food is whole lot better too.
When you get back from a vacation, there is still there.
This one's for Mr. Conductor:
My mom is mean. Make her take thryoxin.
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Let George Carlin explain the 49% who voted Republican, against their own interests:
"Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
...or you can just watch jackass reruns. He dead.
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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
I believe one and all must glance at it.
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In terms of geological time, about 1/1000 of a second ago the human race became aware that it is on a rotating planet, part of a system orbiting a star, in the outer part of a galaxy of stars, that is part of a cluster of galaxies in a universe that is as far as we can discern, without end in any direction, spacially and temporally.
We don't know shit about anything. A little humility is in order.
The big brains should try to figure out exactly wtf our unaccountable politicians are doing. Fixing this shouldn't require mountains of gold for decades either, just a little real intelligence.
“One more word about giving instruction as to what the world ought to be. Philosophy in any case always comes on the scene too late to give it... When philosophy paints its gloomy picture then a form of life has grown old. It cannot be rejuvenated by the gloomy picture, but only understood. Only when the dusk starts to fall does the owl of Minerva spread its wings and fly." - Hegel
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It is a sad statement that the greatest legacy of George Carlin has to be the precedents resulting from his legal battles against the state, precedents that have protected free speech and that should not have been necessary.
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George Carlin on global warming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw
George Carlin -"Who Really Controls America" still
:) George Carlin: Banker Death Penalty
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed. - George Carlin
Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
- George Carlin
Your wives are having sex with other men
They're lying on the bed and having orgasms
While your in here a-waitin'
they aren't hesitatin'
Your wives are having sex with other men
The men are coming to your home
They know your wife is all alone
First they drink your whiskey
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O beautiful for smoggy skies
Insecticided grain
For strip-minded mountains majesty
Above the asphalt plain
America! America!
Men sheds his waste on thee
And hides the pines with billboard signs
From sea to oily sea.
George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing (2005)
"You can usually tell whose been doing the voting by looking at the election returns… people are fucking dumb." - George Carlin
Wellll, I got something to tell you 'bout your soul
Your soul ain't worth shit, mama.
You know how much your soul's worth?
Your soul is worth about as much as you can get on Wall Street, my dear.
You may think I'm cynical, and dangerous to tell you that
You may think that I'm a little hard to take
Ah Ha Ha,
Damn!
But listen doll, I'm telling you the god damn truth.
Promise sweetheart, money does beat soul every god damn time.
Money Beats Soul 11/5/69
Jim Morrison and The Doors
Morrison Hotel 40th Anniversary Edition
Bonus Tracks
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The Public Sucks: Fuck Hope George Carlin
"When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jackboots. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts." - St. George
Here it comes. If you go to see a movie and you don't like it, don't get up and walk out. Instead sue the producers for disappointing your dickish PC sensibilities. Attorney Leaf will help you out. Its not enough to have the right to choose to not go see any movies by the awesome cinematographer Mel Gibson, the much more primitive than Islam fascists are now seeking to impose soft censorship and obstruct him from even making a movie. Whatsamatter, Himey? Got some things to hide? Now political talk show hacks are hiding behind the comedic license to free speech afforded by satire, with the end result being the censorship - or self censorship - of comedians and social critics.
Stop tolerating fucking pussies toning life down because you let them get away with translating rocking their delusion as offensive. Life is short, extinction is a real threat. The stupid aren't coming, lets just evolve without them. They will be offended? BFD. They are already offended.
Let's go! Rock on!
At this point there is a major digression, while a herd of minor characters get on a Braniff jet for Club Med. It soon develops that the pilot is tripping on acid, the copilot is bombed on Lebanese hash and the stewardesses are all speed freaks and dikes, only interested in balling each other. Pat Rottenson then takes you through the lives of each of the passengers and shows that the catastrophe that is about to befall them is richly deserved: all, in one way or another, had helped, to create the housing bubble or bank crash by denying the "self-evident truth" of some hermetic saying by Heraclitus. When the plane does a Brodie into the North Atlantic, everybody on board, including the acid-tripping Captain Bush, are getting just what they merit for having denied that reality is really fire.
The Summer of 2012: Staged riots, to convince the public and whatever unbought reps they might have that the draconian measures to follow are warranted.
They aren't.
Hopefully the response to this psyop will be well thought out.
California was here just a minute ago.
We’re so self-important. Everybody’s gonna save something now. Save the trees. Save the bees. Save the whales. Save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all, save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another and we’re gonna save the fucking planet?
There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
Spain was here just a minute ago.
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Its called the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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"If voting changed anything, it would be illegal."
George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
Gone but not forgotten. Ideas never die.
George Carlin was an intelligent, thoughtful, insightful comedian. I heard your recent jokes about Sarah Palin, which contained none of those qualities. You insulted women, and you insulted Alaskans. You need to grow up, and you have some apologizing to do.
“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of f-ing Earth Day. I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is that there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.
The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles … hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages … And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn’t going anywhere. WE are!
We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Maybe a little Styrofoam … The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas.
The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?”
Plastic… asshole.” George Carlin
oh yeah how you like that eco enviro WACK JOBS
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George Carlin was indeed one of the "few and great." You, also are in that category ;) love the show, keep it going!
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