Tuesday, March 17, 2009



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, March 13th, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.

Bernie Madoff, the most reviled person in America, except for perhaps that E*Trade talking baby, went to prison. They did the cavity search. They found 63 billion dollars.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

He lost 63 billion dollars of people’s money, never invested a dime in anything. He put all of it in one Chase Manhattan Bank account. You know what I don’t understand, how come the FBI didn't notice this but somehow they found Eliot Spitzer's hooker money.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue, regarding Bernie Madoff

Michael Steele, the head of the Republican Party, is in very hot water this week once again for suggesting that actually it is the woman’s choice if she’s pregnant, what to do, and also suggesting that homosexuality is something you’re born with. Rush Limbaugh attacked him for being dangerously sane.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

Bristol says she wants her baby raised free of ignorance and backwoods superstition. But you can't stop mom from visiting.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

For the sake of our children, this overly powerful and selfish union must be busted.
- Bill Maher, regarding the Teacher’s Union

New Rule: To save taxpayer money, someone must fire those courtroom sketch artists and just take a damn picture. It's 2009. Everything in our pocket has a camera on it now - including the lint. And if you really want to draw the people who laid America low, bring your sketch-pad to Wall Street.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

New Rule: Garbage trucks get to back up without beeping. I'm trying to sleep and you're a giant, churning, groaning behemoth, and when you go backwards, it's at one mile an hour while making the sound of Fran Drescher with her hand caught in a blender. If there's anyone out there who can manage to get run over under those conditions, well, you won't just be letting me sleep, you'll be improving the species.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

New Rule: If President Obama really wants to be transparent and level with the American people, he must replace Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner with an actual deer caught in the headlights. Geithner could learn a thing or two about economic stimulus from the deer. For example, if you want to make a couple of bucks you need a little doe up front.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

This week's guests were Andrew Breitbart, Michael Eric Dyson, Sarah Silverman and Steven Pearlstein.


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Steve Salerno said...

Bill, I am a huge and faithful fan of yours (just as someone on your writing staff appears to be a faithful fan of my cozy little blog, www.SHAMblog.com; I say that inasmuch as stuff that I write on SHAMblog tends to turn up in substantially unchanged form on your show within a week or two...which is fine with me. I guess). That said, I must take you to task for your typically white-guiltish inclination to pander to your black guests. Michael Eric Dyson was a particular case in point.

First of all, you needn't have apologized for the absence of the customary third guest; Dyson clearly thought he was all three guests combined, and talked (or rather, declaimed) in commensurate fashion, leaving me (and, I'm quite sure, many others among your viewing audience) groaning every time he opened his mouth--which of course meant I was groaning nonstop, as his mouth seemed to remain open even on those rare occasions when he wasn't pontificating. In fact, several times I asked my wife to blurt pseudo-intellectualized gibberish over my groaning so I could better identify with the beleaguered conservative dude who I think was also a guest on your panel.

Unfortunately, even worse than Dyson was your own kiss-ass, "Tell it, Brother!" attitude. Why do you, of all people, permit guests like Dyson to get away with spewing an uninterrupted, unreconstituted, boilerplate rendering of the "black perspective on race in America," as if it's the only way of seeing things? Even if you fundamentally agree with him, one had to be disappointed at your failure to weigh in when Dyson pronounced himself a devotee of "empiricism"--observation rooted in fact or the dispassionate assessment of fact--and then proceeded to unfurl the usual one-way-street brand of empiricism in which black demagogues always anchor their screed. This is an opportunity you have missed (or failed to "engage" on) many times.

Bill, I consider myself a post-racial person. On SHAMblog, I have argued many times for the abolition of race as a social construct. I don't see why we need it. (Truthfully. Like religion, it just complicates things. And evidence suggest it's not a biological fact.) However, if we're going to subscribe to race, we can't do it just from one "authorized" (and disingenuous) point of view. In confronting the generally dismal experience of blacks in America to this point, why are we permitted to conclude only that the game is rigged? Why can't we at least explore the possibility that perhaps there's something about blacks that predisposes them to fail? Why is it that when we note the disproportionate representation of blacks in American prisons, the only permissible conclusion is that the justice system suffers from institutional bias? Can't we even consider the idea that blacks may be innately more violent or less tractable than others? Similarly, we have the apparent fact that blacks don't do as well in school, from which we're obliged to conclude that "the schools fail them!" The more obvious possibility--that by and large, the kids just aren't as smart--cannot be safely voiced.

It is not racist to ask such questions when we're working from a set of observable facts. (Just as it is not "teenage-ist" to note that [a] teen boys have an awful lot of car accidents, and conclude [b] Gee, maybe they're sucky drivers.) That is in fact the very essence of empiricism. But no, we can't "go there." Even you, Mr. Politically Incorrect, don't/won't go there. We can't even raise those issues without being demonized (which I think goes to the point that your other guest was trying to make, though I can't be sure because he wasn't allowed to finish a sentence).

Indeed, in all the time I've been watching your HBO show--something I do "religulously"--only only one guest, the cranky and iconoclastic Chris Hitchens, came close to challenging the demagogic narrative on black failure. He made an in-passing remark that led one to believe he was about to ask a thoroughly valid question--to wit, Is black failure caused by white oppression or black incompetence?--but he sort of mumbled it (as Chris will) and the conversation quickly shifted to other matters.

Anyway, I just thought I'd bring this to your attention (or at least try, as I don't know who actually fields these comments, if anyone).

This may sound like a strange thing to say on the heels of this note...but...keep up the great work!

Anonymous said...

I finally got HBO last Friday so I can watch the full show every week. I live in a small town in the midwest so I very rarely meet anyone that shares my views. I have thought for many years that religion is the root of most evil. But still felt that I was missing something or something was wrong because I lacked "faith". Now I realize that I'm not the one with the problem, I'm just the only person I know thats a rationalist. I like rationalist much better than agnostic or atheist.

As a fellow animal lover (and vegatarian), I'd like to see you talk more about animal welfare. Maybe you already do and I've missed it. -Alyce

Todd Dubner said...

Help redirect the moral outrage away from the bonus payouts and onto the credit default swaps. We are giving big headlines to $25 million for a plane here and $180 million for bonuses there when our govenment has become the backstop for 10's of BILLIONS of dollars worth of credit default swaps. These swaps are nothing more than side bets that debt will go bad. They do not create any economic value for the country, do not encourage lending, do not make markets more liquid, they are just making some (very few) institutional investors very rich because the debts became insolvent. We are missing the forest for the trees!

The analogy is simple: Someone created a bad game where the house is losing its shirt and our govenment has stepped in to be the house. These contracts could all be unwound and it would only help the economy and help the taxpayer!!!!

Unknown said...

Steve said it all.

Also, what rock did that kool-aid drunken crowd crawl out from under? All Bill has to do is announce that he made a solid BM this morning and they go wild with applause. What a transparent bunch of partisan losers. You'd find more objectivity at a KKK rally.

Lauren Perry said...

Hey Bill,

I'll skip to the point (see praise below)
While your previous seasons have been reliably balanced in intelligence, humor and perspective, this last show was like the realization in a philosophy class when someone speaks really quickly and you could swear that they're about to say something really intelligent and on point... and you wait... and they keep talking...

Your guest Michael Eric Dyson was a nonsensical, distracting, and should have been put in his place by you - as per usual. Though he tried, really tried to make some kind of a point each time he spoke, it was almost always just a cultural emotional reflection of an America that existed half a century ago.
Bill, the people you're really trying to address with this show are not interested in hearing some fast-talkin' professor blame racism for the problems we face today.

When we make the effort to really look at the poorest areas of this country (and most of us never do,) we see that this isn't the old black-and-white battle it used to be. Poor neighborhoods aren't melting pots either. But they exist all over America - poor south-east and poor north-east, poor mid-west, and poor California. We are a broken country, our infrastructures are falling apart one by one, and too many of us just slipped below the "low-middle-class" line. White, black, and everything in between, we're hurting, and it's not because some dude up top was racist against blacks and tweaked the system in some nondescript, conspiratorial way. It's because of deeper motivations, like greed, and selfishness. It's because of apathy. Because people don't take individual responsibility for anything anymore, students or teachers, or politicians, or maybe even you for having this guy on the air.

Don't get me wrong man, I really love your show. I am inspired every week that this country really can change as long as someone out there is pointing this shit out - you. You are reliable for calling people out - you don't let them half-ass comments, you make them explain themselves rationally, which most people are borderline incapable of doing.
But your politeness with this guy, Bill, letting him go on and on, with words dribbling out of him so fast and nonsensical that I felt like I was on speed. If he was actually saying anything worth listening to, maybe I'd feel a little better about all this, but the bitterness some people feel about race is a small thing compared to what I'm really worried about (economy, food, water, population, etc...), and not only did he say virtually nothing substantive, race is a petty thing to still be arguing about after the election of our first black president, who is rapidly becoming one of our greatest. Let's start arguing about Afghanistan, about global warming, about revolutionary reform in the structure of our country -
Let's argue for how we start becoming a great America again!

Okay, that was a cheesy end... Anyway, keep up the great work, get some real voices on there, (ever heard of Alex Steffen?), and... be funny. Seriously.


PS: You and Sarah were hilaaarious!

LiesAwake said...

Mr. Bill,

I need to say right off, I’m not actually a fan, though not because of your opinions. I expect I would probably agree with you on most issues. I’ve actually only seen any of your various broadcasts, perhaps, a half dozen times over however long you’ve been in the talk show business. Sorry, I avoid television if possible, almost was much as I avoid radio. I recall hearing about the hypocritical bullshit you where subjected to after 9-11. Anybody that loses his job and gets death threats for something they say or, more importantly, they write, I figure deserves, at least, my attention. As Gil said in The Ox-Bow Incident, “hangin’s any man’s business who’s around”. At least as long as we’re still calling this landmass the United States of America.

Anyway, last night I felt a little restless and decided to wrestle the remote away from my wife. Turns out HGTV isn’t the only program that works, so I stopped in to see what you were up to. Here are a few things I heard said during the short time I could tolerate the program that I’d like to weigh in on.

Without a doubt, Mr. Pearlstein was the most intelligent man on the set the night you guys taped that show. I don’t think you’d argue about that. But you missed an extremely good opportunity when you asked him that if “Made-Off” was a dope dealer, wouldn’t they have “Confiscated all his possessions”? It would have been far better if you would have asked why wasn’t the guy thrown to the payment, handcuffed, and jammed into the back of a squad car, like so many of us would have been. No excuse for that one Bill. You have to start checking your facts if you intend to mouth-off like that to such a large audience. Sorry, just kidding. That question about the dumbest Legislator was pretty good though. However, the big blond guy that talks like a girl, Breitbart; where DID you dig that up? First, in his angst ridden youth, he was a liberal Democrat, then he’s a Republican, now he thinks he wants to be a Libertarian. WTF dude, make up your fucking mind. This ain’t rocket science, the shit is cyclical, either you know the freaking history or you don’t. Or as Ken Nordine used to say, “Differently the Same”. Screw that bullshit about “calling somebody a racist is, etc etc…” And that from an individual so seemingly willing to judge on surface appearance the depths of the human spirit, or lack thereof, he sure got touchy about Limbaugh, didn’t he? What are they? dating? The next shot I expected to see was of that asshole Springer.

My opinion of Limbaugh? And listen, I’m not insinuating hanging, a good ass kicking, or anything of the sort, but I have to admit, I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire, and I figure he feels that way about most other people anyhow, whatever they profess to believe, or think he believes. I’ve never in my life heard anybody try so hard to convince himself that he is right about every-little-fucking-thing that runs through that fat head of his. I don’t know how much more of that kind of patriotism Lincoln’s Union can stand. Of course, it could just be about money? You think?

Another item I wanted to mention was about the “teacher” union bashing. I need to tell you something about teachers. Most teachers make less than autoworkers with the same number years on the job. Never mind health care and retirement benefits. Just because a teacher isn’t at school after the school day ends does not mean they don’t put in over-time; hell most school grounds aren’t safe when the kids are there, much less when the place is half deserted. Forget about that three months of summer shtick, which disappeared in most places a long time ago. I’ll admit I haven’t checked this, so maybe you should, but I would venture to say that the majority of teachers in this country are not union members, certainly not in the rural South. Yet they are continually required to jump through the newest fad of hoops so the politicians and their minions get the warm and fuzzy. I can think of no other so-called profession that has put up with more non-sense in this country in the last 50 years, unless you count the fucking coal miners, than teachers. My wife has been a teacher for almost twenty-five years and she was a union member maybe five years of that. You know why she joined a teacher’s union, when it became an option? So if someone decided to sue the shit out of her we won’t have to file for bankruptcy, that’s why.

So while we continue tossing around the word accountability, like we have for the last thirty plus years, how about a little parental accountability? What a concept! You can take this to the bank, if kids are more fucked up and dumber than they used to be, it has a hell of a lot more to do with what goes down at home than ANY guidance a good teacher or poor teacher can impart.

You want a find a union worth bashing. Why not take a look at the fucking federal employees’ union. Now if there where ever a “In the Rear, with the Gear” hanger on bunch of goons…..

Finally, I promise, somewhere in the fussing last night, I think you said something about the rich have socialism, it’s the have-nots that have capitalism. Well said, and thank you for that. I think you are absolutely right.

deepthyvarma said...

Hi Bill.., Great going Bill.. I am really a faithful fan of yours. You are the person who tell the truth. You are the most intelligent and courageous person in the world.

LiesAwake said...

It's only "pseudo-intellectualized gibberish" when you don't know what it means; "beleaguered conservative dude", I think what you meant to say was "benighted conservative Nancy". The only thing the Rightous have to worry about is each other. They're all pissed off and all well armed. Yeah, like a faggot, commie, freaking abortionist army is actually going to make a million "person" military assault on the Capital, cheered on by those pesky negros in D.C., Robert E. Lee is frothing at the groan. Perspective? I don't even like Maher's humor, the timing is just a second too slow, and I get the feeling that if it isn't written down..well. And here I am defending such a sorry excuse for a "radical". When that "Actually Conservative Dude" called Lip-Balm an "Entertainer", THAT IS was the "Republican" I know and can respect. Five minutes later, he caves. What a Girly-Man, ah Arnold?

ZenGrouch said...

So, Bill's writers plagiarize SHAMblog, eh?...

...Heretic? you delusional so and so, is that you?

Zen Grouch

Steve Salerno said...

Zen: All I'm sayin' is--and I realize that no one is actually going to do this, but--if you go back and look at some of the inside jokes on SHAMblog, you will see that they frequently predate the same or similar bits on Maher's show. This was particularly true during the latter stages of last year's Obama-non. Now it could be coincidence...sort of a GMTA thing. (And btw, I'm just using that as a convenient shorthand; I'm not actually nominating myself as a "great mind.") But coincidence or no coincidence, there's no missing the parallels, if you're paying attention.

Sneer if you must, but if you were a SHAMblog regular, you'd agree with me.

Grantis Maximus said...

Bill, last week you said you fire one out of six writers a year. Well, I would like to apply for a job. I have worked as an advertising writer in LA for years, but I am tired of selling 99 cent tacos and shitty cars to Americans. If your are in the market for a new writer please take a look at my blog.




Thanks, Grant

Anonymous said...

Hey grouch

Nice to see you are still monitoring this locus.

Remember what I said about astroturfing? What we are looking at here is a 'pounce'. These posers saved up their bile until O'Maher (its 3.17, everybody mickin) - in their words - pinched a fresh BM.

You can tell by how long, organized and utterly irrelevant to current affairs their literary diarrhea splashes. Its not even original, but the point is they saved it up, hoping to make an impact.

I bet these porkers have a bunch more campaign literature intended lined up to drown out the voices of real people expressing their views and concerns here.

How unamerican.

For proof google "Bill Maher Blogga" and look at everything that comes up. Do it soon as my saying this initiates the public reference eraser.

Unknown said...

Bill, please read The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve by G. Edward Griffin.
This will put you in the know and ahead of all the clowns in mainstream media. You will know the TRUE reason for the economic crisis.

APAM NAPAT said...

Excuse me for the inappropriate positioning of this comment.
I watched your movie Religilous. The doubts you have are very valid. Within the frame of intelligence that man has, he can only logically come to your conclusion. But there are other dimensions which might give you glimpses of divinity within yourself or manifest externally. Claims of God by many human-brings and their accept in the contemporary public makes it evident that God is a state of consciousness and can be tapped by any individual who seeks the answers to these doubts. I suggest that you listen to Jaggi Vasudev or read Osho (controversial figure in America) on youtube or from books. I can only wish you good luck albeit you are convinced that all men of god are conmen. Your sincere doubts may find answers if you seek with earnestness than with arrogance of intellect.(not meant to sound harsh)


MrECH said...

Sometimes you're so right on - and sometimes you really miss the mark. To blame teachers, and teacher unions for poor schools is not only misguided, but dangerous.

Teachers don't have, and never have had, "tenure." They have, and only in some states, "due process." This only entitles them to a fair hearing when being threatened with dismissal. They do not have a job for life.

If poor teachers aren't fired, it's usually because poor administrators are not doing their job.

By blaming teachers, you're missing some of the real problems with public education
- politicians who who think that because they went to school, they know how to teach -
- a system that has first world expectations, but is funded with a third world budget.
- ideologues who's only real interest is privatizing education.
- and, most dangerous of all - over simplified ideas that express that if you just got rid of the "bad teachers" and the "bad teacher's union that protects them" it will all be OK.

I'm surprised and disappointed. You're usually more thoughtful. You should do some homework and find out what the union is really doing to protect and defend the right of every child to receive a good public education. Find out about the work that the union is doing around professional development, school reform, equalizing school funding, among other issues.

Shame on you for buying into the rhetoric of the right. Our children, and your listeners deserve better.

ZenGrouch said...


I think I know what you mean. Maybe we need a new rule:

"The response can't be 5 times longer than the original post!"


There's a difference in saying two people come up with the same comic idea, and mighty bold claim you made that...

"...stuff I write on SHAMblog tends to turn up in substantially unchanged form on your show..."

If Bill's writers were in the habit of stealing material, I'd think they wouldn't leave it "substantially" intact.

Zen Grouch

LiesAwake said...

That's Right "MrECH said.." Absolutely, Positively delivered. Thank you.

Stephen said...

Government Debt – A Way Out

As every pundit and politician debate the merits and shortcomings of the bank bailout and the government spending bill, they seem to all miss the root cause of what got us here. All of our current problems regarding the economy have their roots in the Federal Reserve Act of 1913. From that point forward, it became law that all money would be created out of debt. To look at it another way, if all debt (be it government, corporate, or individual) in our current economic system were paid off, there would be no money. But paying off all debt is impossible because of the effect of interest.

For example, let’s assume that the entire economy is ten people. And in order for the ten people to get money to start a business, they have to borrow $1 million each from the Federal Reserve at 10% interest per annum. So a total of $10 million is injected into our new economy. In ten years, on interest alone, the Federal Reserve is going to have all $10 million back. But since the entire economy at the start of this example was $10 million, those ten people (or businesses) will have to borrow more money in order to have any money. In other words, debt begets more debt. The only way for these 10 people not to go immediately back to the Fed to borrow more money is to find other markets to sell their goods and services into. This enormous flaw -- money being created from debt with interest -- in our economy has been masked by the fact that our population has more than tripled since 1913 and our economy has become massively intertwined with the other economies of the world. In other words, our economy has expanded almost as fast as our debt levels; or at least fast enough for most not to notice the flaw in the system. However, the recent grossly irresponsible expansion of leverage in our banking system has left it essentially insolvent and has forced our government to come to the rescue. How is this rescue being done? Answer: by borrowing more money from the Federal Reserve with interest. We are now running debt levels in the double digits as a percentage of total GDP. The question is how do we get ourselves out of this ever expanding vortex of debt?

Before we answer that question, let’s refresh ourselves on the mechanics of how money is created. The US government needs money so it goes to the Fed and issues US Treasury Securities (bills, notes, and bonds). In exchange for the US Treasury Securities, the Fed creates money (a.k.a. Federal Reserve Notes) out of thin air. The Fed then can either hold the Treasury securities until maturity and collect the interest or sell the securities through its registered broker dealers. Either way, the government has to borrow money it needs and thus the money is created out of debt with interest. The US government takes the money it gets from the Fed and deposits it in a bank. Through fractional reserve banking that bank can now lend up to 10 times the amount deposited by the US Government to businesses, individuals, etc. In this way the bank is now creating money out of debt (with interest).

The answer to how we relieve our government of this expanding vortex of debt is quite simple and dates back to our founding fathers and the real reason we fought the Revolutionary War, but more on that later. The solution consists of three steps:

1- Replace Federal Reserve Notes with US Government Notes. As the current debt comes due, the US government will pay it off with US Government Notes (as opposed to Federal Reserve Notes). The US Government Notes will look exactly like our current money except that the government will not have to borrow the money from the Fed and as a result will not have to issue any more debt (US Treasury Securities) to the Federal Reserve.

2- Repeal the Federal Reserve Act of 1913. Use the Federal Reserve to clear checks and to provide other back office functions, but repeal the Federal Reserve Act of 1913 and the National Bank Act of 1864.

3- Eliminate Fractional Reserve Banking. Now that there will be no more US Treasury debt to purchase, investors will be flooded with US Government Notes. A lot of that money will find its way into the banking system in the form of deposits. As that money finds it way into the banking system, the government will continually and proportionally raise the reserve requirements until the time when there is no more government debt in existence; at that time fractional reserve banking will no longer exist. In other words, when all government debt is paid off, a bank with $1 million in reserves will be able to make $1 million in loans, not $10 million like the current system.

Not much else needs to be done. The government will continue to tax the population and pay for the military and other essential programs. The difference is that when it spends more than it takes in, our government will just add more currency (i.e. US Government Notes) to the economy. (Hopefully our government will be able to do this responsibly and add currency to the economy at the rate of population growth.) Banks will still lend money with interest like they always have, but remember, without fractional reserve banking, they will not be creating any new money. They will simply be lending out what they have in deposits. One obvious benefit to the average American is that his or her taxes will come down as he or she will not be financing the debt as it will no longer exist.

For those who say that our government would just be counterfeiting money, I have two responses. One, the Federal Reserve essentially does the same thing but with interest. Two, our founding fathers did it. They printed Continental currency and the economy flourished. The central banking interests of western Europe would not stand for this debt free currency and before too long the Continental was banned and the colonies were forced to use British currency that they had to borrow from the Western European banks with interest. It was for this reason, the Revolutionary War was fought. In fact it says in our Constitution that Congress is the branch that controls the currency, not the Fed, which is a private bank, not a government agency. Given that our current system of money is exactly what our founding fathers were trying to free themselves from, they must be rolling in their graves.


Stephen Rodenbeck

Anonymous said...

Z- laughter is the best medicine; but you have to understand the joke.

LiesAwake: You really, really need medicinal marijuana. It will stop you from lying awake. Ime after about 2 weeks you'll be calmer and develop a sense of humor again. If you live in a state that doesn't recognize medical marijuana, go to one that does for your therapy. You'll want to stay; thats a good start.

Anonymous said...

Giles you rock. G.E.G. is awesome:


This too is heavy, his 1st public = buk:


peemer said...

Hi Bill,
Like so many here, I am your undying fan. Thank you SO MUCH for taking all the stands you have over the many years you‘ve been speaking to the viewing (and live) public.

I‘m wondering if you know about the FAST TRACK Bills in Congress right now that are designed to literally criminalize ALL organic farming. I know you care a lot about what you eat, so I thought you should know about this issue. It‘s a whole Monsanto supported deal, and it‘s INSANE. There‘s one Bill in the House, another in the Senate, and they both regulate not only commercials farms, but any individual‘s HOME GARDEN. And they are trying to rush these through without public comment or awareness.

Here“s a short, but to the point article about it:

If you are as outraged by this as I am, perhaps it would be a good topic on your show?
Aloha from Maui,

StrangEye said...

One for Religulous 2

6 Days of Creation - The Ring, The Sphere, and Jimi Hendrix


Unknown said...

The crowd was full of shyt that night, what was wrong with them?

rick c said...

Bill, I enjoyed your comments about Oklahoma selling all the ammo available because they are afraid of black people. I do not believe that is the case actually. One thing I do know they are not afraid of your undercurrent of classicism against people in the south.I also beieve and pray they are excellent marksmen and women. And Bill, be sure to wear the turkey suit given to you at the airport its just a quaint southern tradiation.

Unknown said...

I can't believe you dismissed the increased popularity of Ayn Rand's ideas and compared it to the ammo grabbing middle Americans. I HAD such respect for your for taking on religion and its mysticism but you lost me on that one. You are either uninformed(which I am sure you will never admit)or chose to read the Cliff Notes. If you don't like her ideas maybe you should change the name of your show to some guy with a big nose making political jokes instead of plastering your name everywhere(being selfish) and trying to associate yourself with cutting edge cool by using The Who. And they would have to change their name to rock band. As far as stem cell research why do me and my family have to fund it? Do I get a cut of the profits? Don't you think members of the private sector are racing to achieve the same goals in the name of profit and do it in a better and more efficient way then the govt would? Someone stands to make a lot of money for cracking the stem cell safe and god bless them they deserve every penny. Of course he will have to hand most of it over to fund all the silly wasteful programs you and your sychophantic audience endorse. (Insert boo's here). We should socialize medicine but not finance. Peacefully JB
PS Do you and your African American Liberal guest ever choose to discuss religion or do you agree to disagree and not bring it up? Why is it OK for you to make Jew jokes with Sarah Silverman but the arms fly up when your conservative guest says something I and my mixed consituents felt was not racist at all?

Anonymous said...


I believe that image needs to be seen. Hilarious!!

Rob Ross said...

I fully expect this to fall on deaf ears, but here goes. I'm a repped writer currently shopping my religious thriller, THY KINGDOM COME. In it I propose a theory, well, more like a procedure, to prove there is no Heaven, no hell and therefore, no God.

If Religulous pissed off the Church, my piece would send Vatican death squads after us. Is there any way to get the script into Bill or his trusted gatekeepers?

Unknown said...

Honestly, the only reason I stick with my HBO subscription is to watch this show.

However, with all do respect, something seems to have changed. The monologue writing and sketches bits seem to be very weak. But I can get past that because I like the debate.

But I have to say, even though I like Sarah Silverman, the exchange seemed a little personal and kind of insulting to the audience. We were let in on a snapshot of Bill's real life, which is fine, but I feel like it was a private club that we non celeb folk would not understand. They kind of came off like two high school kids giggling about doing something defiant.

It was especially obvious when Bill let the small comment about, "see Sarah, stick with the obvious" fly. It was like Bill was saying, see no one get’s it but us. It came off as very smug. Bill is always chiding his audience reaction, which is fine because all the clapping and whooping does get annoying and interferes with the debate. But it seems to me, that if you think your audience is so stupid, perhaps you should run the show without one.

Also, the whole tour with Ann Coulter and Bill makes me feel a little duped, like maybe I am stupid for watching the show because perhaps these pundits (right and left) are in bed together and have figured out what buttons to push to make a buck.

I say this because the tickets for the talk went up to 140.00 each, for a talk! 140.00 is crazy for any show, but for a debate, seriously?

And I think why I am safe to say that is because Bill went on and on a couple of shows ago about Americans, conspicuous consumption and spending money we dont have on ridiculous things (using that blanket thing as an example).

So how stupid would I have been to have paid 140.00 to see the likes of Ann Coulter spew out ridiculous vitriol and Bill responding with answers, that although I would agree with, would do nothing to resolve the argument?

Would it not be better just to give our 140.00 to PETA or some other charity Bill?

Mlynn2q said...

I was going crazy during the break.
You came back in February and saved me! Sanity, sanity, sanity...it is so nice to hear once in a while.

Wish I had been able to see the debate with Coulter. But, then again, she gives me seizures so maybe it is a good thing I missed out.

Thank you for doing your show. I only wish you were on 5 days a week. Could that happen?

I could listen to you talk about Religion forever. I grew up Mormon...so that tells ya right there that I had an insane childhood. Saw Religulous the day it came out...always love it when you call the crazy people out on their %$#@.
Please come to Northern California again! The show sold out before I could get tickets.

Natomas Educator said...

Mr. ECH is right and anyone that agreed with him on supportive our hardworking teachers. Bill, I am a loyal fan of yours over many years, and many shows, but you are way off the mark about your remarks about teachers and the tired practice of union-bashing. I think you are giving in to rumors and hype, and not real facts at all. See Mr. ECH.
Also, I have a question for you and Barak - if bonuses are bad for business, then why would performance pay for teachers be a good thing suddenly? To be doled out subjectively by administrators that look to punish a strong, outspoken, whistle-blower though pay-for performance? Please think this one through a little more.
Teacher for 12+ years

Anonymous said...

Under the Bushwacker Regime the safety system was:
Rasberry Red
Orange Orange
Lemon Yellow

It has been upgraded:
Panama Red
Acapulco Gold
Indica Blond
Blueberry Kush
Humboldt Green

Today's safety level was Indica Blond: hot, sultry, mostly fun but a little dangerous.

Bill, I hope you shared your volcano with O'Beerman. I appreciate the way he exposes the political lies.

Anonymous said...

Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbayah

Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Anonymous said...


Noone is asking you to pay for stemcell research, just to get the hell out of the way!

Rush Limbaugh is textbook Elsworth Toohey. He believes in nothing and criticizes everything, then watches. Those who are his followers are attracted to his emptiness; everyone is his enemy.

W is James Taggert, Cheney is Cuffy Megs, Asscraft and Rimjob and Candy! Holy shit, its not just Atlas Shrugged, its Idiocracy too! And thats just the crusty top of the last 8 years; the republican leadership is a casts of Abramof leeches.

Bill didn't dismiss the continuing interest in Ayn Rand. The guest who mentioned her did not finish his remark, leaving the question hanging -

Anonymous said...

Here is some very intelligent discussion about religion by Matt Dillahunty in Texas. He is incredibly well informed and patiently tries to help the totally brainwashed... and he's actually getting through to them.

Your God Is An Ass

Anonymous said...

Bill Hicks has been dead 15 years, RIP. Here is his accurate appraisal of Rush Limbaugh

Russ Firestone said...

Bill, I'm writing about your March 20th "Real Time" episode. This is my first comment here after several months on your myspace page, which has become rather like a dark pickup bar about a half-hour before closing time. (Just the way you like it, perhaps?) Anyway, the no-frills, topic-driven atmosphere here suits me better.

A general comment: tonight's show was, for me, the first of this season to capture the signature subversive edge and intelligence of your best work. I credit it, in part, to the guests... to a broadening of topics beyond just the economy... and the energy every great comedian draws from those around him. You, and the writing, seemed reinvigorated. Kudos -- I enjoyed it immensely. Your segment with Madeleine Albright, in particular, was classic.

Which brings me to a request: please devote some time soon to the Bush/Cheney war crimes storm brewing in Congress, and in the international legal community. It is not that I want to look back; I'd sooner forget. But that's the reason: a new threshhold has been set in our government's license to kidnap, imprison, torture, and make war without a Constitutional review by any court. A precedent left unchallenged becomes the de facto law of the land.

Congressional hearings are well and good, but they have no legal authority. The ticking clock is an 8-year statute of limitations in the U. S. on many types of war crimes. The Bushites and their Congressional protectors are counting on running out that cloock to avoid prosecution.

Yes, if they're guilty, I'd like to see justice done. But it's the unprecedented police state power being conferred upon future adminsitrations that MUST be publicly examined, and then either codified into law and official policy, or repudiated.

Economic hardships, no matter how painful, come and go; history's judgment of our fundamental character as a civilized nation is beyond price.

Russ Firestone said...

P. S. - Andrea & I have tickets for your Apr. 10 show here in Orlando. Looking forward to it! If you have time afterward (and no other, more "pressing" engagements), we'd love to meet up with you.

rnrdrummer said...

Mmm, Bill spoke about touching third rails on the show, but there's a third rail that Bill won't touch - Israel. When we're in such a financial crisis, Bill alludes to how we need the money blown for the Iraq war, but not a peep about the billions sent to Israel. He used to have Michael Scheur on the program but after Mr. Scheur voiced his stance about Israel I think it's safe to say he will no longer be a guest.

C'mon Bill, you didn't even touch upon the crazy religious nut jobs in the West Bank in your movie about religion.

Anonymous said...

This is a comment in response to Bill Maher saying Glenn Beck's comments will lead to "the chance for people to take horrible action" against President Barack Obama.

I find it funny and hypocritical of Bill Maher to care so much about the President's threat level caused by comments made by someone in the media. He didn't seem to care so much a year ago when talking about President George W. Bush. He did this by saying Bush "constantly screwed things up for America." In the same video (http://vodpod.com/watch/515341-bill-maher-on-president-bush), Maher started off by saying he is Patriotic. THEN, showed another sense of hypocrisy by stating "If you have to state you a Patriotic, it is like saying you have a big cock. Chances are its not true." Well Mr. Maher...what is it?

I honestly can't believe that some people watch his show and take it for face value. I know he is making an attempt to be like Jon Stewart and Colbert, by having a humerus political show. But the only humor I do find is in his constant duplicity.

Unknown said...

In response to Nelsen
From Science and Technology Magazine.

Washington — Promising vigorous support for scientists, President Obama signed an executive order lifting the ban on federal funding for human embryonic stem cell research. He also issued a memorandum to "restore scientific integrity in government decision making."

PS I am all for getting out of the way!!

Anonymous said...

Your point, Nelson.

I figure the total cost of W's bullshit to be about 60 trillion over the next 6-20 years, depending on what we as a nation do from here on out. If that didn't rip you a new one, I doubt your sphincter will pucker up if some of your already confiscated earnings go to research that may relieve the suffering of other Americans, 1/2 of whom worked for the infrastructure. Don't assume they were commies working for free; you do have some societal obligation to your fellow citizens.

The derivatives of this research may include the creation of new high paying American jobs (are you reading this, politician scum? Try to get your head around that.) and cures which you may one day need. I would hate to think the specialized health services you & I may need is blacklisted by the unconstitutional Federal Censors to Deny Personal Freedom on 'moral' grounds, ie. W said its evil because an adulterous evangelical drug addict told him God said, or any other misguided cult influencing our govt at any level.

It would be karma if Barbie Bush needs right now one of these that her spawn has prevented.

In the early America most industries the govt now manages were funded by issuing bonds and shares - selling the improvements to investors - and then making sure the contractors did a good job. The citizens literally invested - bought shares - in the specific things they wanted - roads, trains, housing, postal, fire, library. Why we are now where we are is a long series of encroachments due to and in some part as abuses of open market captialism.

I like to think its was the good will of people to not punish the people who cheated them as they deserved, ie. death upon conviction. Unfortunately when accumulated many small slights forgiven become a negative trend and the out of balance culture spins down the drain.

Am for the middle, make corrections, dial in to the path of least resistance. Ca-ching!

Anonymous said...

I meant 'aim for the middle'.

Menbers of marketing cults, don't infer that I am refering to the middle of the bell curve you worship. I am refering to the goal as a target.

I think Obama is right on track and focused. he has started from a less extreme opposing vector in order to compensate for the screw ups of the last 8 years. Taking on the biggest issues first, we will reestablish eqilibrium.

If he can get every American to graduate high school and 60% a 4 year degree or better, we will be able to change our own diapers without govt ass-istance.

I am looking forward to it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah what Nelson said plus if you meet a politician who puts anything ahead of the prosperity and education of their constituents, hang 'em high.

Unknown said...

Nelson I agree with a lot of what you say and agree very much that we have a social obligation. Only why do I need the state to enforce it? Do you believe humans are innately evil and left to there own devices would sit idly hording there cash as their fellow man withers or dies and so we need the govt to confiscate our cash to give to the causes they deem wothy? I give from my pay every week to support causes I believe in Amnesty Int and StreeTeens in Las Vegas. I don't consider myself an exceptional American. It comes from my selfish belief that all human life is precious. Mine yours and everyone elses. BTW I am not a Republican nor a Democrat which according to a new document issued by our government makes me a domestic terrorist threat. Peacefully...

Unknown said...

And as far as W being the cause of the problem, lets call it like it is. I love the man, but Big Willy, Bill Clinton is the one who initiated the loosening up of Fannie and Freddie Mac funds to be given out to poorer Americans and led us into this fiasco.

Unknown said...

A New York Times article from Sept. 1999 states that Fannie Mae had been under increasing pressure from the Clinton administration to expand mortgage loans among low- and moderate-income people and that the corporation loosened its lending requirements to comply.

I would say we blame the SEC for what happened to our financials. This is my "cult-ish" thinking but according to Ayn Rand the role of the SEC would be to keep the playing field level for all individuals and prevent and punish fraud. I would say we have some fraud issues here in 2009.

When you compare Rush Limbaugh to Ellsworth Toohey you do realize Ellsworth was the bad guy, right?

Anonymous said...

Nelson I can't dish you a simple answer, there isn't one. There is not either a set of rules we can follow all the time; its real.
This is the exercise:
If you were that guy what would you do?

If you were pilot of a passenger plane and that plane struck a flock of geese, as pilot what would you do?

If you were president of the USA, what would be the most important things you thought about daily to keep the world up to speed with inevitable evolving change?

If I were going to charge you 10 times what you are now paying for your DL, what would you do?

There is a point when we can't be fucked with anymore, when we together protest with the same voice, and move the world.

Welcome to America.

Yes Nelson, Elsworth is the pig role model for Rush Limbaugh and I did accurately map the names of the republican conmen.

You are catching up. I dealt with a different SEC before W than after. The one after is a favoritist NAZI insider response to slick willie making it as right as he could; HillBilly is NEO.

Anonymous said...

Do me a favor. If you want to talk about issues of different states and immigrants and skin color and language, tell it to someone else.

You want to be Howard Roarke or John Galt? With your own hands, in any environment, you will. If you are so perfect; I wish for you to be real. But we are all human, not quite ideal, together struggling to better our lot. We do depend on each other, all the way around the world.

If you are in service like USCG Chris, I hope you prosper and learn as I have.

Unknown said...

It is principles not rules.
I appreciate your comment about me catching up and hope one day, not really, to reach the arrogance level of yourself posing silly obvious questions. I enjoy the way you hide behind the "what's real" propaganda. Maybe companies should fail. You dont think a band of investors might have stepped in in the name of profit to eradicate this mess. I guess we will never know. Like Bela Pelosi wants to prop up newspapers now. Where does it end? When the government demands we create more children in order to fight their wars and produce so they can take it away in the name of your fellow man. Just keeping it real....

Unknown said...

As far as principles go you might try reading a doctrine called the Constitution of the United States of America and if you get that far how about On Common Sense by Thomas Paine. He would say what kind of America are you welcoming me into? Not the one he and the forefathers intended I am sure. They would say take up arms, you are being oppressed!! Please don't report me to Big Brother Comrade I am merely making a point.
Here is a question
Is it morally just to create a life and strap it with a debt of over 30 000 dollars before it can even walk?
I do believe in education as the answer. An education in math and science. Not euro centrist. Where did all our engineers go?! Oh yeah they were selling derivatives.

Anonymous said...

Hey Iran! You get my message? I know you consider it a surrender from us but, I just want to be friends.

Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Someones singing lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbayah

Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Someones laughing, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Someones crying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Someones praying, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Someones sleeping, lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya

c said...

another nice one for all the Kool Aid drinkers who have bought into this idea that "everything is George Bush's fault"...

Wow! What a powerful (non-partisan) statement! I almost deleted this
before reading it. It sure will make you think... and think... and
think!! It's those 545 people who have thrown our country into a mess,
not just one man. This is good to read whichever PARTY you think you
belong to. It should make everyone consider their voting VERY
seriously. How did a media person ever write something like this?

545 People By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against
inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on
appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound
reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con game regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.

No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to. It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable
directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the
budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the
Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way. There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel

However, it is also true the we, the citizens of this country,
reelect approximately 90% of the 545 every election. Therefore, we bear a great deal of the responsibility for the mess we have created.......

Patrick Egan said...

Bill I have been a great fan for years and love all your stuff. I saw you Santa Barbara last night. I didnt know where else to make this comment so here it is.

After loving your stuff for years I feel today like you are that one guy who brings a camera to a bachelor party and then shows the pictures at parties later on. What an ass. Your comments on why guys cheat were valid but you had to just keep on going even with almost silence in the audience. Do you imagine any guy there with his wife wanted to do anything but crawl under a rock or just disappear. It wasn't poor taste but it was completely poor judgment on your part.

Thanks for ruining a GREAT night out up until that point.

Russ Firestone said...

An open letter to Patrick Egan:

Patrick, I know the bit you're talking about, and I can sympathize with your discomfort -- but only up to a point.

That routine has been part of Bill Maher's stand-up act (and his "philosohpy") for as long as I've been a fan; in fact, it was included in one of his earlist HBO specials. When I first heard it, I remember thinking: finally, someone's had the balls to speak the truth about why men cheat. It's the denial of this reality -- not only by men, but by the women who buy into it -- that makes it so difficult to have mature conversations about relationships.

I'm NOT suggesting that ALL men (or women, for that matter) in monogamous relationships cheat; and I have nothing bust respect for those who remain together, happily and faithfully, their entire lives. But MOST men do, and that's the fact.

As to your discomfort: to go to a Bill Maher show, and NOT expect a comment like that, is like going to a Chris Rock concert and not expecting racial remarks, or a performance by the late George Carlin and not expecting "obscene" language. I don't see how you could be "shocked, shocked to discover" that there was that kind of rambling going on.

javagirl said...

Hi Bill,
I watched you on the Mike Huckabee show. I think you are funny and I love sarcastic humor. I am an attractive, married mom of 3 and also a conservative Christian, but I am sickened by those weirdos who bash people with religion. I really think Mike Huckabee is a genuinely nice guy. That is why I saw a fleeting look of confusion on your face when he talked to you. He gives a face to religion that I appreciate.

Anyway, as ridiculous as this may sound, after that show I felt that I wanted to pray for you. I want to pray for God to work in your life and that you will accept Him. I have never felt the urge to do that for any other celebrity. So now, every time I hear your name or you cross my thoughts, I pray for you. Hope that isn't offensive. I do love comedy and you are a funny guy. :)

Amber said...

FUCKING HILARIOUS! Love you Bill. Come play around Pittsburgh already!!! We are dying to see you here.

Amber L. Stine

Unknown said...

Wow, I bet Bill feels soooooooo lucky that out of every celebrity you would choose to pray for him! Look, I understand your mind set since I grew up in a very conservative church. You guys actually FEEL that you are doing something nice when you choose to pray for someone. And you sometimes actually DO nice things when you are able to provide charity without trying to cram "Christ's love" down someone's throat.
But the best people I know- the people with the MOST integrity, the most compassion, the most reasonable, tolerant, charitable people I know are athiests or anti-theists, or non-believers, or "rationalists" whichever term they like to use. I'm a Dawkin's level "6" atheists or anti-theist myself although I do like Bill's "rationalist" term.
I'm not speaking for Bill , of course, but I can say from a non-believer it IS offensive. Somehow you have all the answers that we need to be happy. Funny, I found happiness once I left my church...like many others. I found my sanity. I no longer had the headache that came from the intense cognitive dissonance I experienced trying to practice my Christian beliefs while also trying to function as a rational human being in society.
Have you really watched Bill's show? I truly appreciate his voice- calling people out on their $%#@. Saying "enough is enough!" We are backwards because this country clings to their religious beliefs instead of focusing on the real issues.
I'm so freakin tired of seeing millions of dollars wasted on hate, on trying to push religion into the American government. Churches want to be charitble? Yes, I see churches so a lot of good work. Unfortunately it is done with a lot of "religion" involved. We are angry at the AIG bonuses and yes, they should feel ashamed. But I think people should feel ashamed that millions of dollars were spent in California that could have been used for education, housing, victim assistance, healthcare...so many other things that actually make a difference.
I'm tired of seeing how religion has shifted things (during the last 8 years especially) for the worse. Kids do not get an education in how to communicate about sex, what sex is, what sex does, how the body works, what rape is, what sexual assault is. I work with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault and I'm sick and tired of seeing how religion stalls the healing process because my clients feel like they must have done something to deserve it because otherwise "god" would have stopped it. Or that "god" didn't stop it because "I guess" it had to happen for a reason. $#@% that.
I admit that was a tantrum of sorts. It is something that really pushes my buttons. Anyone with me?

Unknown said...

Do me a favor Nellie.
Not to be Galt but more Galt like. Not to be Roark but more Roark like. As your preacher says not to be Christ but more Christ like. I wish to give to who I choose to, not to who you or anyone else wishes me to. We do depend on each other and it should be through mutual benefit. WIN WIN. Good luck with the America you wish for built on weakness and mediocrity. Oh yeah and cronyism.

Unknown said...

Amen Michele!!!

Anonymous said...

javagirl has just as much right to feel she "wants" to pray for Bill as much as anyone on here feels they should "shove Atheism" down Christians or whomever's throat.

Why bash her for how she feels?

And I'm pretty sure she's praying for you and everyone else on this planet as that is her right as an American!

Hey mike_m, if you show up...I'm trolling again! :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill,

My comment is completely unrelated to this post but I wasn't sure how else to possibly get your attention. I was wondering if you happened to catch this useless piece of drivel that aired on fox news lately http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcJn5XlbSFk. Have a look as it is just making the rounds up here in Canada and is sure to raise the ire of the majority of our population. Just thought you might have a comment on the ignorance this group airs as factual news.

Todd MacDonald

Justin R. Newman (Editor In Chief) said...

Bill I'm really mad at you. I used to be this nice Jewish kid, now I'm a raging atheist who feels the need to challenge my relatives at family dinners. All of which are registered democrats.

People ask me "how can you not believe in God?" and my response now is "how can you believe?"

Thank you for presenting a clear and well rounded argument in your film. Countless Rabbis and religious figures couldn't answer the same questions you answered for me in a hour and forty-five minutes of film.

Please do me the solid of checking out my site


aka YPA Press.

Russ Firestone said...

I'm a passive atheist when it comes to what people believe in their personal lives, and even how the private sector cashes in on their beliefs via commercial exploitation.

I'm a raging atheist when it comes to religious or moral beliefs invading public policy; not symbolic nonsense like taking "In God We Trust" off the money, but in areas such as education, science & medicine, reproductive rights, assisted suicide, marriage & adoption laws, etc.

Otherwise, as a so-called social issue, I view the whole "culture war" between believers & non-believers as TV ratings hype -- and as intellectually meaningless as "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?".

Actually, I dated a Buddhist girl back in college, and I liked her answer: "No angels... no pin... no head." (Fortunately, she was just being metaphorical about that last part. ;)

brockdc said...


Just like most on here, I am a loyal fan of yours. But I'm not here to discuss that. And I'll also spare you the manifesto.

Rather, I want to take exception with your commentary regarding teacher's unions. Instead of addressing this "third rail" as you call it in a measured, thoughtful way, you made a sweeping generalization about the systemic corruption of teacher's unions, linking them directly to student underachievement.

As a Los Angeles Unified School District public teacher for the past eight years, I can honestly say that, while the union is far from perfect, it also plays a major role in protecting hard-working teachers from the whims of substandard administrators and/or district officials.

Are there bad teachers out there? Absolutely. Does the union shield these teachers from losing their respective livelihoods? Sadly, it often does. But there are multitudes of great teachers working every day who have sacrificed prime earning years in other fields because they believe that educating ALL young people is paramount to a healthy, thriving republic.

But please don't make sweeping, uninformed, specious generalizations about the correlation between unions and student performance. Such simplistic thinking is inane and, quite frankly, beneath you. And please stop hiding behind the impotent guise of "I'm just a comic; I know not what I do!" whenever you make a sweeping, stupid overgeneralization.

Before I conclude my rant that has, sadly, morphed into a manifesto, I would like to extend an invitation to you to visit my school site and to observe what a public school teacher deals with in a given school day. I can almost guarantee that after this experience, you will have developed a slightly different perspective.

The experience might also give you a glimpse into these children's lives, as many of them are forced to deal with learning disabilities, poverty, and domestic abuse (including neglect) on a daily basis.

My school site's in the Los Angeles area, just a short limo ride from your house.

My guess is that you won't take me up on this offer, because why muddle a snarky stand-up bit with actual facts?

G.SeanEricKilPatrick said...


I have been holding back again. I listened to your show last week (13 March) and there was one major discussion point that stuck in my craw.

Embryonic Stem cells.

Andrew Breitbart made a lot of what some would call mistakes in his rhetoric. I prefer to call them falsehoods or lies.

Andrew Breitbart: In 2001 George W. Bush gave the most nuanced speech of his presidency.

Reality: Not much competition for this medal. But the problem with the speech is that it had nothing to do with ethcial reasoning, and relied heavily on morality. His fundamental argument breaks down because to go the path of potential for life to define what is life, you are saying that masturbation is mass murder and all women are serial killers. Nuanced, perhaps. Rational, not really. Unfortunately Obama seems to hold the same line of non-reason in his opposition to human reproductive cloning.

AB: Bush had a balanced panel of bioethicists.

R: It was so balanced that it included people who knew jack shit about bioethics like theologian William F. May (not a secular humanist as Andy claimed they all were). Which didn't really matter as dubya made his policies before consulting with the panel. Technically it's somewhat true, but in reality, not so true.

AB: George W. Bush was the first president to fund stem cell research.

R: William Clinton was the first president to fund stem cell research in 1993.

AB: Adult stem cells and umbilical cord treatments have led to 72 treatments and the only thing we have from Embryonic Stem Cell research is a boy with tumors all over his body in Britain.

R: The tumors are in his brain, he was prone to tumors to begin with, and he was treated in Russian team that had no clue what they were doing. The boy's condition wasn't conducive to potential stem cell treatment to begin with, and his predisposition towards tumors made the endeavor very unethical. As far as possible treatments, there has been progress in the fields of spinal cord injury, diabetes, Heart Disease, Parkinson's Disease, Alzheimer's Disease, Lou Gehrig's Disease, Lung Disease, Arthritis, Sickle Cell Anemia, organ failure, etc. With genetic diseases it is preferable to have donor cells rather than patient cells to prevent recurrance of the condition. With organ failure it is important to be able to have organs on demand, thus, in an emergency situation you don't have much choice. Tissue engineering, in which full organs may eventually be created in the lab without a host, has major potential, but requires Embryonic Stem Cells to meet its full potential. While other stem cells have already shown great potential, the cell line limitation and lack of funding for embryonic stem cell research has prevented advancement. So, like going back to the moon, it is a political problem, not a scientific one.

AB: Nobody is willing to fund Embryonic Stem Cell Research.

R: Most research, especially in emerging fields, is funded in part if not primarily through public funds. That, and the unethical ban on new cell lines has led to a complete stagnation of the field while researchers in the field went on to research with less promise but more funding.

AB: Induced pluripotent cells are just as good if not better than embryonic stem cells. (He didn't know what they were called)

R: Not even Takahashi and Yamanaka, the two leading researchers in the field, think that is true. They have potential, but are still nowhere near the potential of embryonic stem cells according to the Japanese pair. Beyond that, the current method for creating Induced Stem Cells has a high likelihood of resulting in Cancer due to the way in which they are produced.

This isn't the exact order he spoke them in as I had to clump them in a way that made more sense. But, his entire arrgument was a fallacy. His tagline, "I'm not stopping you from funding this," is the Ayn Rand/ Friedman fallacy that freedom is the ability to be privately funded. The problem is that most of the benefits from science that we enjoy are from blue sky research. Research with no marketable goal, but which eventually lead to marketable conclusions. But, if there is no marketable goal, then there is no market funds, which means that a market only science society is inherrently more poor than a society that allows gov't funding of research.

Now, I understand that not many people have a deep knowledge of stem cells. Especially those like dubya and Andy of the anti-intellectual right, the remnant of the nineteenth century no nothings one might argue. But, he seems to know enough propaganda to make false arguments and is just too lazy to check his facts.

Embryonic stem cells have a potential unmet by other potential pluripotent cell sources, and needs to be funded by the gov't. Not to do so, or to put limits such as no new stem cells or no research into reproductive cloning, is thoroughly unethical.


Anonymous said...

Bill Maher, host of the really crappy Real Time talk show, is a hypocrite. He makes false accusations against people he disagrees with. For example he made the claim that Radio/TV host Glenn Beck is increasing the odds that someone attacks President Obama because, after all, it was hate speech like Glenn’s that “made” Timothy McVeigh blow up the federal building in Oklahoma City. This is especially ironic commentary coming from Maher, who himself recently said “if Dick Cheney were dead, more people would live.” On the show in question, partisan hack Maher and his diverse (cough) panel consisted of Keith Olbermann, a New York Times writer, the card carrying socialist Senator Bernie Sanders, and a Hollywood activist/actress.

People who do not recognize Maher's shallow presentations for the unproductive bash sessions they are - are fools.

Unknown said...

Bill maher, You son of bitch. You talk a lot of crap for an illegitimate piece of crap you are. May you rot in hell.

Anonymous said...

Bill wouldn't stand a chance with Glenn Beck in his face!

Plus, he doesn't have the balls to have more "intelligent" guest on his show, that's why he only books idiots and morons.

Intelligence is something that Bill does not possess!

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill

I got to see you at the Irvine Improv last night - sold out show, you haters! I enjoyed it very much.

Much deeper and farther than tv.

You have great presence & very healthy.

Thinking them to be of great value, W & friends traded Manhattan for a box of baubles & beads - and lost the nation. Side out Republican minority! They did it entirely to themselves, will they ever to take responsibility?


Anonymous said...

Hey Nelson,

I am an engineer. Really.

Elsworth is the ideal embodiment of the 'second hander'. The second hander does not create, contribute or produce anything, they demand to be served by the able on the grounds of their claimed inability.

Elsworth rallies rabble and demands the enslavement of the competent. I have yet to see anything unlike this that Rush Limbaugh has done. he rouses a mob, then steps back and gloats. He will not pay for it with life and limb, others do. He festers hate and fear; he manipulates to control.

What an asshole. I think Rush doesn't take his own BS seriously; he's a crap salesman. On the other hand the clown Bill O'Really does believe that his tiny world is the one true world for everyone... he's a textbook looney.

I would not have given the busted businesses or banks a dime. When a business fails it rightly goes into receivorship and the carcass stripped of healthy bits by voluntary investors. By propping up these failed institutions a failed status quo is kept fat and we repeat the mistakes of the Bush era. I am dying to learn what W sneaked the 2 trillion printed, I bet it was to forestall the crisis.

The blame lays with W. It was his watch and his actions that got us into this mess. FEMA? Thats just one Jim Taggert appointment.

As in AS the infrastructure crumbles gradually and it is not until the end that the hairy apes relize they are VSF.

I read the things you said. The tyrant who gets the subjects to whip themselves is heinous. That would be the W criminals.

What we are going to do is rebound & pick ourselves up by rallying our community. Deal me in, I have everything to gain.

Anonymous said...

Isn't Bill Maher, along with idiot Olbermann, tingling Matthews and Maddow Cow the Rush Limbaugh's for the Left?

What's the difference? They all talk smack the same way!

And why is "Everyone" so "Scared" of Rush?

If people would have spent more time on helping America get back on track instead of constantly worrying what other people are saying? We wouldn't be in this damn mess we are in now!

The United We Stand Fell the minute the Looney Lefties started whining and crying....I hate Bush!

Grow UP!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Just before I opened my eyes today I saw Yosemite George & Elmer Cheney hunting wabbit.

Sarah Palin is no longer the republican milf fantasy, she's Captain Tripp's grandmother.

Anonymous said...

independent etc.,

The USA faltered when a rogue element assassinated JFK, then MLK, then RFK, then a whole bunch of civilians.

Why are you writing in past tense? Thats an indicator of an unbalanced mind. I suggest you get a professional opinion.

Anonymous said...

Here is an old friend of the Bush clan:


Anonymous said...

I had thought you had a minor misunderstanding of the teachings of Ayn. Those who read only her fiction often do. Be less like Elsworth? That one doesn't get it. As you said, its a matter of principle; one cannot be less a thief.

One can however be less a fool.

Don't call me Nellie, I'm not interested in sex with you.

22 trillion = the cost of Curious George the Delusional
300 million = every man woman & child in USA

22trillion/300million equals


Simplifying this,

22x10^12/300x10^6 = 22x10^6/300

22x10^6/300 = 22x10^4/3

220,000/3 = $73,333 per person. Where did you get $30,000?

If I had taken responsibility for the authority you gave W, plus the 22 trillion dollars he weaseled for 8 years -and that we are still hemorraging at 1 trillion/per yr/per war, we would be well on the way to a global utopia beyond your wildest imagination.

If that $30,000 insured that the child would grow up in a nation where the true rule of law was justice for everyone and the child would have every opportunity o acheive their potential, even $75,000 is a great deal. But no - its $75,000 + compound interest for jack shit.

Based solely on this result George Bush singlehanded did more damage to America than the sum of damage by all our enemies, including Enron and ivy MIRC pukes, adjusted for inflation.

What part of this don't you understand?

javagirl said...

Hey Michelle,
I get the sarcasm. I don't think he should feel "special" because I picked him, I just think it's weird that I have that feeling to pray for him.

I totally understand about how religion is so screwed up. I don't want it in the government either! Things are a mess and religion definitely has it's part in this mess on planet earth! I grew up in a super-duper conservative church and got the hell away from it! But I didn't give up on God, that's all I'm saying. I found another church that I feel comfortable with. I don't agree with everything they say, but it "feeds" me, ya know?

Unknown said...

HI Nelson nor do I want sex with you.(wink) I am hetero and married to a beautiful lady. I was merely reciprocating your condescending tone with me. As far as Bush goes I never voted for the bastard. Why do you associate an Ayn Rand supporter of automatically being a Republican? That is a mistake. If I had my druthers Ron Paul would be our president now. BTW check out his HR1207 forcing the FED to open up its books. I have a great amount of respect for your intelligence and your witty use of numbers is inspiring. If nothing else it is encouraging to see another American thinking for himself and not falling in line like sheep. BOTH parties are corrupt as far as I can see and when we vote we vote to get fuct by one of 2 methods. READ A Peoples History of America by Howard Zinn. I bet we both want the same thing. No need to argue over trifles. I respect you as a fellow American. and an intelligent independent thinking one at that. Peacefully

Unknown said...

Hey there BILL

Count me as one of the people switching there DVR from Bill Maher to Glenn Beck. And no I am not going to blow anything up. Tell Michael Eric Dyson the High falutin' Yosemite Sam sounding Ivy League(how the hell did that happen. Quotas?) professor the code word is: SEE YA!

I can't believe I voted for Obama. I had no idea he was going to expand the powers of the President even more than W did with habeus corpus. 3 trillion in debt in 3 months. Point the finger at W or congress but 3 trillion is 3 trillion. Now the Ivy league thieves indoctrinated by the likes of MED get to make more money off of us again with the too big to fail propaganda. And you buy it!! Unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

The American People are making huge sacrifices so Me and Michelle can have our $150,000 Cocktail Parties every Wednesday with hard working/unemployed peoples tax money.

Don't like it? Screw you, I don't care!!!

hmmmm, it takes a debt of $9.6 Trillion to eliminate a $1.3 Trillion debt...go figure!

Unknown said...

Hi Bill,

I was disappointed that you called Bernie Sanders, Senator (Vermont) to this week's show. This guy sponsored a legislation which prevented banks receiving federal bailout money, from hiring people based on merit. Last time, I checked, this was a country of immigrants. Are we going to stop people from coming in? Is this going to be a country of xenophobes?

Anonymous said...

1207 is on RP's front page:


I wanted to expound Ayn's philophies as they apply to the current situation. I did not make any assumptions about you. Your posts come from right of center.

I think Ron Paul is a great leader. I don't want him for president at this time mainly because he said he doesn't want that job.

I am sure we both want the same thing - accountable, effective governance. Instead we have this Unforgivable Freak Out.

We differ in that I am a humanist. I side with labor, but I expect everyone to carry their own weight. The peter principle is in play. I get everything I can from my people and I reciprocate in kind. I build teams.

I agree with Reagan saying that the government is the problem. I also agree with George Carlin who pointed out that businessmen require explicit contracts up front because they don't even trust each other.

Bad businessmen and bad politicians are identical.

Anonymous said...

If you don't expect anything from the government you will never be disappointed.

And a lot happier.

Anonymous said...

"Shuttin' Detroit Down"
By John Rich

Say's it all!

Anonymous said...

Happy Hour at Obama's
Open Wet Bar $0 (comped by Oprah)
Security: $150,000
Hanging with O: priceless

Meanwhile, in Sing Sing:
to be Bernie Maddof's roomate: 2 bags of fritos + a peckerwood sandwich
- because he is quiet, smells nice and can't hurt you

Shawn said...

Bill, I am a huge fan and have been for years. I hope you keep speaking the truth.

Oh, by the way, I think you should run for Congress. I think you are who we need in Washington.

Bill Maher For Congress

Anonymous said...

Hey whats all this blaming the cloning machine? It was the operator's fault!

They are octodad's tribbles too; I'd like to see that pusillanimous pudknocker playing paternity suit. Just got his student loans paid off too; what a shame.

Anonymous said...

Its amuzing that Nelson Buffet caved fast when he found out he was sniping someone who can do math.

Whatsamatter Nelson, you used to bullying people weaker than you? What do you do for a living? You a cop?

Truth is never a 'trifle' and that wasn't a witty trick; its a reproducable computation... science.

David Weissman said...

Bill, on your show from March 6th, you commented that healthcare SHOULD be run by the government, saying that you wish it were more like the Post Office. Are you aware of what's going on with the Post Office now? They're about to go bankrupt without a government bailout...and they ARE the government! Furthermore, I get my neighbor's mail in my box about once every week or two (and vice versa), and at least every few weeks, I get letters or magazines that looked like a dog chewed on them. I'm a physician, and if healthcare in this country were run anything like this, we'd all be in serious trouble. But then again, you're a stupid entertainer, so I wouldn't necessarily expect you to know any better. Of course, it could just be that the marijuana has killed off too many of your brain cells. Perhaps you should spend a little less time greasing your hair back, and a little more time paying attention to what's really happening in the world...seeing as you seem to enjoy talking about it.

Valerie said...

Below is an email that's circulating.

Nothing is going to change. We may as well get used to the status quo because our political leaders have forgotten who voted for them and why.

The Senate Democrats are cutting out a $400 rebate for us in next years budget. I guess we don't deserve it but they'll say they can't afford it. And the Republicans say we can't afford to raise taxes on the wealthy. Can't they come up with better options than that - are you kidding me?

And what about the machine, you know, all the stuff they spew from their mouths on news & radio stations 24/7. All the stuff that makes us all so angry that we don't notice what they're up to. Read this definition:
Propaganda is the dissemination of information aimed at influencing the opinions or behaviors of large numbers of people. As opposed to impartially providing information, propaganda in its most basic sense presents information in order to influence its audience. Propaganda often presents facts selectively (thus lying by omission) to encourage a particular synthesis, or gives loaded messages in order to produce an emotional rather than rational response to the information presented.

They "can't" figure out how to give us affordable healthcare and besides, there is just too much going on right now and they don't have time to address affordable healthcare. Maybe if they weren't so worried about the profits for the insurance and pharmaceutical companies, they could figure it out.

And then the machine starts spewing: socialism, fascism, re-distribution of wealth. They divert our attention and they divide us so they don't have to change anything.

#Do you want affordable healthcare? Probably not going to happen because there are just too many other things to work on. They don't have time to figure out a program to provide affordable healthcare for the citizens of this country. We probably don't want socialized medicine, but we need something that works for everyone. Why can''t they figure it out or why WON'T they figure it out?

#Do you want our children to have a quality education? They must think that "No Child Left Behind" was a brilliant program and I guess our children aren't worth any more effort than that. We'll just let the Chinese surpass us in every way imagineable. And some day we can have a new world currency and it will be - the Chinese Renminbi. Are you bi-lingual yet?

#We all may not agree about global warming but all of us can agree that we want clean water to drink and clean air to breath. There are new technologies that we can support that will actually bring a new industry to this country and be good for our environment. It can produce jobs right here in this country - imagine that. But then you have Big Oil with Big Profits. Probably not going to happen either. Besides, there are just too many issues to work on and they don't have time this year.

According to the Federal Reserve, in 1990 the richest 1 percent of America owned 40 percent of its wealth -- the greatest level of inequality among all rich nations, and the worst in U.S. history since the Roaring Twenties. Furthermore, the richest 20 percent owned 80 percent of America -- meaning, of course, that the bottom four-fifths of all Americans owned only one fifth of its wealth. Another revealing way of expressing this statistic is that the top 1 percent owned more than the bottom 90 percent combined.
This report is 20 years old and they are telling us this president wants wealth re-distribution. With these statistics, maybe we all should want it.

The concentration of wealth in a small group allows for anti-democratic influence of social policy. The wealthy have the ability to create their own "think tanks" and astro-turf front organizations. These are then used to create the perception that the public is in support of their self-serving objectives. When such vast amounts of money are under the control of a tiny group the basic mechanisms of democracy are undermined.

One important factor in the creation of inequality is variation in individuals' access to education. Education, especially in an area where there is a high demand for workers, creates high wages for those with this education. As a result, those who are unable to afford an education, generally receive much lower wages. Many economists believe that a major reason the world has experienced increasing levels of inequality since the 1980s is an increase in the demand for highly skilled workers in high-tech industries. They believe that this has resulted in an increase in wages for those with an education, but has not increased the wages of those without an education, leading to greater inequality.

Many of us did not vote for this President but it certainly seems like he's more on our side than anyone has been in a very long time. He's trying to get things changed for the good of this country. He wants everyone to have access to affordable healthcare. He cares about the environment and about the education of our children. He cares about our roads and bridges and transportation. He actually cares. But we have many that prefer to call him names like socialist and fascist> How can we ever teach our children not to make fun of others or call them names, when our own government leaders stoop to acting like children.?. I guess we should just raise them to be mean-spirited and give no consideration to others - just so long as you win at whatever cost. But what's the price for acting like a child? Look around because you're paying for it.

Unite - Unite - United States of America!!!

The Choice is Yours:
1. Do nothing and live with the status quo.
2. Call your congressional representatives. Tell them we are ready for change, we expect them to work with our President (not against), and we expect them to vote for change and to vote for his budget. If you don't do your part, then we won't have any change.

If you do nothing, then quit complaining. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

The costs may be high for the restructuring of this country. The debts are unbelieveable. But what will it cost us if we do nothing? What kind of world will our children and grandchildren live in? If we can get our country and economy turned around, then we can pay off these debts. But, if we don't make big investments now, then we can expect things to get worse. And then it will take even longer and cost even more and be even worse than it is today.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the web site Nelson. Good stuff!! I too side with labor but with out business there is no labor. Fair and honest business. It is the governments job to keep the playing field level and punish fraud. Take Care and Peace be with you.

Unknown said...

Hey lens. I agree with the guy totally. I never supported Bush. Re: Ron Paul. No I am not a cop. I run a bar. So bullying people does not benefit me in the least. I fight bullies on a constant basis.

Anonymous said...

"We need a strong president, strong enough to resist the temptation of taking power the President shouldn't have."
-Dr. Ron Paul, about W

Ayn Rand Mike Wallace Interview 1959 part 1
Ayn Rand Mike Wallace Interview 1959 part 2
Ayn Rand Mike Wallace Interview 1959 part 3

Goodnight and Good Luck.

Anonymous said...

This is good, Bill ORiley & Bill Maher, before ORiley went off the rails. The contrast between ORiley's mental state then & now is apparent.


Anonymous said...

submission for "How F**ked Are We?"

"Woman travels to India for heart surgery..."

Anonymous said...

Its all good Nelson Buffett. The economy is hitting 70% of everyone hard, welcome to the economy.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the you tube link LENS. Great stuff!! Please post more. Has anyone else been getting hit with google porn spam since itnitiating a blog here? Since blogging I am getting spammed by chicks who do horses etc all kinds of vial things and when I reply to unsuscribe it tries to put the address in my book. I know Bill is a whoremonger but don't push your agenda on me please. I never had this problem before. No seriously...I never had this uh problem before..ahem.

Talented Moron said...

Hi Bill,

This is not related to this post, however, I am sure you will agree that this is a juicy story.

It's about Mohammad, the prophet, acquiring the wife of his adopted son, Zayd.

Zayd, was a slave freed by Mohammad. Mohammad liked him so much that considered him as his own son.

Zayd had a beautiful wife, called Zaynab. Mohammad sees Zaynab and falls for her. The problem is, in Arab's world, no man can aquire his daughter-in-law and this is considered a serious violation of the arab culture.

Yes, you guessed it right, God has a solution for this. Mohammad receives a revelation. God tells him that when zayd was finished with her, we gave her to you in marriage. so that there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them. And Allah's command must be fulfilled.

This is one of the most controversial parts of the Quoran and in my view clrealy shows that Mohammaed was nothing but a man taking advantage of people in order to satisfy his own needs, by means of Allah and his religion.

This is the link to the original Quoran segment and its English translation.


Talented Moron said...

Ths link

NND240 said...

Bill, I watch your show all the time and made an observation about the Madoff Ponzi Scheme. Isn't Social Security the ultimate, legal Ponzi Scheme. The Federal Govt. (Madoff) took money from investors (Taxpayers) and promised a return on their money (Social Security Retirement) Then instead of allowing the money to accumulate or the investment to grow persay the Federal Govt. (Madoff) borrowed "Raided" Social Security (investment money) to fund their projects.(Madoff purchased homes, accumulated wealth for himself instead of investing) Now the Federal Govt. (Madoff) pays the Retired people ie, my parents social security( the initial investors) with money collected from me (the later investors). Ultimately social security will not be able to payout and all the money I paid in will never be seen.

jackiee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jackiee said...

so does Bill actually read this?

well when i started watching Real Time i actually did pay attention, but now i just fantasize about fucking you
call me

Sara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Real Time has been excellent lately.

After hearing of the two great minds that would be joining Maher for the latest episode earlier this evening, I was sure that this would be one of the best of the season thus far.

Unfortunately, these two great minds were joined by Mos Def.

Having been familiar with his work as a socially and politically conscious hip hop lyricist, I had always taken him for a charismatic and intelligent individual.

Unfortunately, he failed to display either of those characteristics here tonight and appeared socially and politically unconscious.

He contributed nothing, he provided nary a single worthwhile or developed opinion, and what's worse is that despite lacking drastically in all of these areas, he insisted on making himself the center of discussion. He was rude, he was loud, he was obnoxious, and he made an utter fool of himself.

It is possible that he was under the influence, but if he was it would be incidental, because I've seen another episode of Maher in the past with Def and he contributed just as little then as he did this evening.

What an unfortunate unnerving waste of English gentlemen Salman Rushdie and Christopher Hitchens' time. How unfortunate that we viewers were deprived of listening to them without the incessant rambling, babbling, immature display from the overgrown toddler sitting at Rushdie's side. The entire discussion would've been better off if his seat was instead given to a member of Maher's audience at random.

How Rushdie and Hitchens' were able to hold their tempers I know not. If they were not such gentlemen they surely would not have been able to.

And as for the Overtime segment, Hitchens comments were reasonable and absolutely justified. The only reason I can conceive of for why Maher stood against Hitchens towards the end is that he wished to rescue the insufferable "Mr. Definitely" from further throttling by Hitchens.

Overall, most unfortunate, most disappointing.

I hope I am not alone in urging Mr. Maher and Real Time to avoid inviting this infuriating uninformed waste of a good panel seat onto the program in the future.

longoria said...

Mr BIll Haher, i watch your show as much as possible and im a huge fan. I just have to say one thing how does a mexican president from from the 1850s and a uneducated 20 year old illegal immigrant know something as simple as this"Among individuals, as among nations, respect for the rights of others is peace." what is wrong with this country i saw america for the fist time as the land hope and new beginnings a country worth leaving every thing behind but to be honest all i see is a country of greed i love this country and thats why every day i live here and see my neighbors lose there houses and have a place called little tijuana just brakes my heart. why does america "try" to fix every one but our selfs we have so many issues here in out home land, for example out health care or improving our schools new technology dam so much we can do here its insane

Nick said...

NEW RULE-->you must tell all guests on show to let others speak (thank you Mos Def for helping put this new rule into place). Also Bill, we need your help in changing this world and country. Please talk much more about religion misleading this world and how we must start moving towards a higher global consciousness. Government needs to be exposed to start this change. Please look out for us all Bill. We love you & and you should replace Jimmy Fallon.

Palermo's Blog said...

I am writing to express my feelings about your statements regarding Social Security. Back in 1983, SS was “fixed” by increasing the amount of the payroll tax for working Americans. The object was to save up for the baby-boomer retirement years so we would not over-burden the next generations. At the same time, tax cuts for the wealthy were implemented (all this under Reagan). More tax cuts for the wealthy followed, and we managed to pay for what we spent by borrowing over $2 trillion from the Social Security trust fund – the fund that was set up as a “savings” account from all of those payroll tax deductions.

Now, people are talking about cutting back on Social Security because we can’t afford it. Actually, we can afford it if the United States Government makes good on its IOUs to the Social Security Trust Fund. If benefits are cut, then what has in effect occurred is a massive regressive tax on people who work for a weekly paycheck and those paying self-employment tax on most of their income to fund ongoing, recurring tax cuts for the wealthy. Not only is this entirely unfair, it is also bad for the economy. If SS is cut, people will have less money to spend at exactly the time they have no more income (the reason for SS in the first place). This has been a massive fraud on the majority of working people in the United States, and your view that we need to be told the “reality” that SS will need to be cut only helps further the process of ripping off hard working people who have contributed to the SS Trust Fund since 1982. I suggest the pain be distributed where it belongs – by taxing the incomes of people who make over $2-3 million per year at the rates that were in effect throughout most of the 1960s and 1970s – around 75%. Or, perhaps a one time asset tax on those with net worth in excess of some obscene number.

I hope you look into this a bit further. Paul Krugman understands this point very well and has written about it on his NY Times blog. I have written about it as well here:
http://polecolaw.blogspot.com/2007/11/social-security-debate.html and here:

bernynhel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bernynhel said...

Why is everyone assuming that the conditions which led to the recession were some kind of ACCIDENT? Earlier this week MSNBC featured (see Forbes.com http://www.forbes.com/2008/04/15/paulson-falcone-earners-biz-wall-cz_js_0415wallstreet.html?feed=rss_popstories or LA Times http://articles.latimes.com/2007/apr/25/business/fi-wealth25) 25 or so top Wall Street guys that each made, minimum, half a BILLION dollars in the last year and mentioned John Paulson and Phillip Falcone, in particular, one who had profited specifically from their ANTICIPATION of the sub prime mortgage collapse.


In other word: The tippy-top of Wall Street ENGINEERED this license-to-print-money-as-fast-as-you-possibly-can-cuz-the-music's-gotta-stop-SOMETIME-right?-game-of musical-chairs and that it's gotta be THOSE SAME GUYS WHO MADE THE MOST MONEY ON WALL STREET IN THE LAST YEAR! Ever played HOT POTATO? And they are the Wall Street "Wow! Lookit How Smart THESE Guys Are! Heroes" while Bernie (that SCUMBAG!) goes to prison for a gazillion years!

What proof do I have? None! BUT...picture the following:

Dateline: somewhere in the rosy past pre-recession like late 2007 or so and
Joe-Blow-front-line- mortgage-lending-officer in San Bernardino, CA has just received new mortgage lending guidelines which no longer require him to verify the annual incomes claimed by applicants. Joe, after his second reading of this new detail because he was sure he must have read it wrong the first time, turns to his boss, the branch manager of the local Countrywide office, to ask, "Hey Boss, does this really mean we don't need to verify ann-" The boss cuts Joe off mid-sentence, "Shut up and WRITE, dummy!" Dummy is right! How many Joe Blow mortgage guys even bothered to question guidelines like those? I think most were too busy writing mortgages to bother.

Many of you, I'm sure, have been too busy writing death threats to anyone ever mentioned in the same breath with AIG to think outside the box and it is my sincere hope my rantings, here, haven't been too much of a distraction.

To the rest of you: Can I get a WITNESS? If so please reply here or here: http://thisrecessionwasnotanaccident.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-is-everyone-assuming-that.html

Chris said...

Bill (or whoever posts on his behalf) It would be good to get text like this with each episode. I am a subscriber to the audio podcast and I listen while commuting to work I have never laughed so hard in the car. I know sometimes there has been video coming in the feed and I know it may be against HBO to do so, but I don't get HBO at home and the podcast is great. Sometimes I get lost cause its a visual on screen joke.

I just wanted to give props. I was the first one in line to buy a ticket to see your wonderful film in Oct here on the ONLY screen they were showing it on in Nashville. And I am so excited for your show here in Nashville in June.

I would really love if there were text somewhere (maybe make a blog post) of the concluding remarks at the end of Religulous That really hit home for me. The first person I thought of was Sarah Palin.

So many comments, doubt mine will get read. But if it is read keep up with enlightening people's minds.

Unknown said...

Bill, you seem to be on a tear against teachers as if all the education problems of this county are because of bad teachers. For this to be true, the majority of the teachers must be bad to have produced such a horrible education system. Yes there are bad teachers, but not enough to put the blame of a failed system on every teacher.

Take the analogy of an actor in a play. He could be the greatest actor, but if the script is crap, the director is an idiot, and the sets fall apart, the play will fail. Do we blame the actor?

I challenge you to spend a week in an urban classroom (even mine) before you make comments about firing teachers to improve the education system.

Anonymous said...

Obama sounds like Bush because the 1963 power elite coup that brought the CIA into power has undermined the presidency since that time.

Its a conspiracy, not a theory.

Meanwhile back in Sing Sing, the warden is keeping Bernie on the books. The erected ofishuls were paid off before this went public - you think they couldn't find the money? What bullshit.

The difference between a bad actor and a bad teacher is that a bad actor don't get no work. A bad teacher is just like a bad cop or child molesting priest. As demonstrated, none of them can mange the,selves. An external formal review is required.

I expected Obama to tell some truth and support the DOI & Constitution. Do I feel stupid.

Flaming Emilia said...

Somewhere down in these comments, someone said teachers don't have 'tenure.' They do. I taught in the US in the late Seventies, in Virginia, where teachers were NOT allowed to belong to the union. The gist of tenure was that you taught 3 years on an annual renewable contract, which the school district didn't have to renew if your evaluation wasn't good or if they had no further need of you. After three years, a teacher got tenure, meaning an indefinite contract, which could only be terminated by either the teacher going elsewhere to teach or by committing a crime.

The idea of tenure is that you looked at a teacher for three years, if the teacher were good, you gave them tenure to keep them in the district. Nice idea.

But tenure is also very political, and lots of teachers vying for that learn that it depends on whom you know, both in the school where you teach and in the administration. I've seen good teachers released from annual contracts, and I've seen idiots kept on tenure because they played golf with the principal or coached football.

I taught in 2 different school districts and got tenure in neither. In the first, it was because I crossed the teacher who was the de facto assistant principal, by not letting a student have leave from an exam to work on the yearbook. I didn't get tenure in the second instance, because I left to get married (and was moving abroad). I was a fairly good teacher, not blowing my own trumpet; but Bill's right. There is a lot of tenured dross in school systems, who - if they don't perform well at one school - are just moved from school to school.

I'm all for the idea of merit pay. And getting away from the concept of tenure.

saltzshaker said...

I came across this article in Scientific American where Washu anthropologist Pascal Boyer is quotes as calling religion an "ideological parasite that worms into the minds of unwitting hosts." Of course, I thought of you Bill.

Here's the link
I bet either the columnist or the anthropologist would be great guests on your show

Anonymous said...

Ah, thats whats wrong with Sarah. She's got a little green glowworm in her head.

WTF is this bullshit bailing out hillybillys who fucked up? This is anti-competition & fucks over tesla motors & the 2-3 small american alternate energy car companies. I thought Obama said he was environmentally friendly and anti-good ole boy network.

Fuck 'em. Too little, too late, too misappropriated.

I don't need the banks to take - not borrow, take - money from me in order to shift the burden of the errors and bad decisions of the super rich onto the backs of the middle class.

On Friday RealTime I saw 4 practical adult men have a sensible discussion about legalizing weed. Liberal and conservative, they all agreed: free the plants, end this war on Americans! So who the fuck does Obama & Hilly represent?

Anonymous said...

I forgot the white collar criminal intent. Thanks bernynhel

Meanwhile at an elite resort in israel, Bernie Maddof is laughing his ass off, paying no attention to his incontinence.

Mike said...

New Rules:
1. people that are religious need to stop feeling "Sorry" for people that are not.
2. We need to stop sending the space shuttle up just so we can see if we can fix it in outer space, and then cross our fingers and hope it doesn't burn up on reentry. How many laps do we need to do around the planet?
3.People that work in fast food drive throughs should be shot for uttering the phrase, "Can you repeat that order please"?
4.People need to stop worshipping celebrities, their shit looks the same as yours, it's their toilets that are better.
5.People need to stop winning awards just because they died.
6.People need to stop taking photos of the ocean, Whats so scenic?
7. We need to stop using the term "Pro Abortion", no one really wants to abort a baby, it's not like people say, "Don't wear a condom so I can get pregnant and abort the little bastard"!
8. We need to keep the hard working Mexicans, and send the lazy fucking freeloaders somewhere.
9. Right wing talk shows need to stop saying that the Democrats are trying to scare Americans into action. Do they not remember WMD's
10. People need to stop worshipping crosses! If Jesus lived in this time and was executed, would we all wear syringes around our necks?

Anonymous said...

What a turbulent Real time this last Friday, huh? May I say Mos Def was a 'little' paranoid and Hitchens a little 'scotchy'?

Never trying to be full of myself, but anyway - is in my nature, I'm a girl, and worse, Brazilian, Real Time should bring to the panel this year Richard Dawkins, or the two Chris (Cooper or Matthews), or Catherine Crier. And is always good and refreshing see John Legend and Ben Affleck of course.

Right, ego lower for now. Nice show, honey.

tgimacb said...

I uh Repub, and I not as smart as u.
u so smart, u makes jokes that only libs git. Poor dolts. they think u funny. I donut. In fact, real fact, you are the butt of the joke with yo bulbous jewish nose and hateful heart
Have a laugh, Billy, the last laugh is on YOU

Teresa Kay Castro said...

Whatever, you're the Shit, and you could stand up and declare it yourself, and I would still probably pick up most of what you were putting down.

I like to think this is not blind admiration, but merely celebration of someone saying what I'm thinking.

Your stand-up show in Santa Barbara was sooo worth the the ridiculous 80 dollar ticket.

Anonymous said...

1. Confiscate equal value of the machines that make the g rides from the big 3 auto breakers for the billions they blew.
2. Deploy SeeBees with civilian liasons to run the factories. Opening the Detroit front in the war on poverty by revitalizing the domestic industrial base.
3. Recruit Tesla motors et al. to scale up and oversee massive scale production of alternative energy vehicles.
4. Flood the market with really inexpensive, quality electric cars. 2 grand for the 2 seater, 5 for the StationwagonUpgradeVehicle, 8 for the sedan. No financing available, no incentives, no BS, just produce lots of cars, 3 sizes, one color. You don't like arctic blue? paint your own.
5. Ship overwhelming numbers to foriegn markets.

- Don't let Hillary find out. The Bildenbergers aren't going to like this.
- Don't tell Nancy, she'll eat the frosting before the cake is baked.
- Call Michael Moore to do the documentary. Should rub in well in 2012.
- Get the SS to find out why Robber Jindal is campaigning for president in 2010.

polihronu said...

Hey, Bill. I watch Real Time... religiously :) And, although I am a theologian, I wholeheartedly agree with your critique of religion. Having said that, I'd like to see someone like Prof. Bernard M. Levinson, from the University of Minnesota, on your show. Here's a brief excerpt from the introduction to one of his latest books:

"In the American context, the perception of religion in public discourse, whether from the right or from the left, tends to be one that sees the Bible in quite monolithic terms, as hierarchical and dogmatic, rather than as fostering critical thought and public debate."

The bulk of Prof. Levinson's work within the last decade or so has dealt with the ways in which the biblical canon itself and its interpretive history actually do that - foster critical thought and public debate. And it has also highlighted the cultural and intellectual debt we, westerners, owe the ancient biblical writers. You'd be surprised, e.g., to find that Derrida was not the first proponent of deconstruction :)

Anonymous said...

Unless you can book Prince Arjuna, Krsna, the Buddha, Joshua, Elijah, Moses, David, Isaiah, Yoda, Alec Guiness, Abraham, Jehovah, Satan, Lucifer, Mephistopholes, Beezlebub, Osama, any nephalim of that polytheistic pantheon 'you' owe so much too, or Finn, the Tuatha de Danaan, leprechauns, banshee, Odin, Osgar, Ra, Coyote, Quetzlecoatl, Michael Keating, Commander Odama, Mr Spock, Warren Beatty, Edgar Cayce, Bill Hicks, the Dalai Lama or Mitch Snider, a theologian on Realtime would be antithematic.

If she hasn't been eaten, the Easter Bunny would be a suitable Passover guest. Better still would be a 14 hour be-in.

Gotta go, the meditation bell rings.

polihronu said...

@ lens: While most of the host you've listed are more or less iconic, I was only suggesting doing the postmodern thing - which is giving reasonable proponents of diverse opinion a chance to express their viewpoints, just as Bill does on the political spectrum. I am personally enriched by his show and guests, why wouldn't you benefit from a sensible perspective on religious and cultural hermeneutics?

I also dare suggest that, while we (and I mean all of us) are shaped by a variety of influences, including Eastern thought and religion, we do indeed owe a lot, not always in a positive sense, to the biblical mindset. And we do at a deep, almost indiscernible level. Take the legal system. Take the arts - music at least. Take the theme of redemption (as in the Matrix or most any other movie out there).

Anyway, just as I agree with Bill's portrayal of religious idiocy, I suggest there is something to be lost in theological illiteracy. You don't actually believe in Plato's theory of ideas, do you? But I'm sure you can see how it has shaped our world.

peachville said...

I'm a huge fan. This pic sums up my thoughts on the current world economy:

Reminds me of the good ole Reganomics days....lol.

mjgl said...

Perhaps off topic, but prompted by your March 27 show.
Thank you Bill Maher for your courage and forthright statements regarding President Obama's sarcasm regarding the "legalize pot" Town Hall question.... I too left his cheering section on that for (not exhaustively) these reasons:

1. The internet community he mocks elected him

2. He admits to trying drugs, but "regrets it." Why - because it was illegal while he used? Would legality have made that "regret" any different for him? Does he ever lift a drink? Or smoke cigarettes...er...

3. 18 million Americans are forever excluded from the mainstream economy b/c of a criminal record for simple possession of pot. The devastation to their lives from the bust/record far in excess of the negatives associated with smoking pot.

4. The drug cartels require the illegality to do business... find the recent ex-DEA chief quote on why legalization is a bad idea wrt the Mexican border violence....."these are criminal elements..they will just find something else to be criminal about." What was he drinking?

5. The data is overwhelming...the scientific evidence that Obama says will guide his administration...there are no known negative health effects from pot...(beyond the inhalation of smoke... and proven much less a threat than cigarette smoking b/c of quantity smoked - and there are other ways to take it) Obama still smokes and expects us to carry that healthcare burden....it’s legal!

6. Regulation and taxation is the most constructive and sensible solution....generating real money, legitimizing farmers, etc.... and if we feel a need to spend money to discourage use...well, it can be channeled to education rather than rouge cops (oh the stories from AZ....), lawyers, and state mandated "rehab."

7. The "border war" is against Americans traveling on the I-8 driving btw Cali and AZ where a roadblock run by the border patrol (for aliens right? or real quantities of drugs right?). Police dogs tail wagging pulls families, kids, parents and grandparents from cars with threats of real "trouble" and promises of leniency...and so they produce that roach - or old pipe... the leniency? handed over to AZ officials and these people are charged with a felony... If they are diligent $1000 later and three months of random peeing wins a dismissal/TASC...(code for bust/guilty – no expunging records in AZ). Oh, and the border agents get to chalk up another “bust” on their little board of pride at the blockade...

8. I can’t believe we even have to go over this detail...like the illegals dropped in our forests...making it unsafe for me to hike in the backcountry...etc, etc... and don’t forget the absolute benefits of Pot...oh well....

You have won a fan for life... for your courage to point out this hypocrisy and very Reaganesque response by Obama...

also KUDOS on your Afghanistan resistance...exactly why do we have to find Bin Laden today? We can't wait until the financial institutions are finished raping us all?

Too bad Mos Def was so incoherent and a distraction to the meat of the conversation, that Rushdie is such a drone... and well. Hitchens came out looking sane - even while swilling the Scotch...

Keep it up Bill... and so will I.

I posted on DailyKos the day after the Townhall meeting my sincere disappointment ...and I haven't posted since... there is a crowd I fear will follow the man not the principles.

Please take heart we hear you!!!!!!

p.s. please set up an undercover operation on the I-8 busts..it's obscene.

p.s.s we loved Religulous...(as did the other 15 brave souls in Phoenix red country there that day) ....and I a born-again Christian! Just not stupid or ignorant or exclusive... I get the message...”treat others like you want to be treated”...anyone ever wonder why Christ didn’t need to write a book (sorry, bible)? Pretty easy statement to remember don’t you think? And we have all these Churches writing rules to let one off the hook for that simple mandate....argggggg

again ...FAN FOR LIFE

Anonymous said...

Luminari Texas Nixon turns The Border inside out

You get what you are willing to settle for.

Anonymous said...

Reformat that thought:
Are you living in a constitution free zone?

Gordon Bressack said...

Long time listener, first time blogger. As a matter of fact, check out my blog, the latest posting might be of particular interest.

Never miss a show. I'd love to come on sometime.

Gordon Bressack


Anonymous said...

This machine kills fascists

Anonymous said...


Hollywood is discussing Atlas Shrugged movie. "Due to the political issues"; doesn't sound like they have thought it through.


Anjelina J as Dagny Taggert? JFC, I think she'd make a great Howard Reardon wife; then Brad won't have to try too hard either.

Anonymous said...

New rule: The Pizza delivery industry should get behind legalizing pot as this will stimulate their economy.

It will kickass to watch Bill & other entertainers perform material geared toward a stoned audience, while stoned. Thats what freedom looks like, fearmongers. Get used to it.

Anonymous said...

Yup. I have a kupon for 2 specials, $100 & the pizza is free? Gimme the Northern Lights & Jack Herer with a large Hawiian Delight with extra cheese. 30 minutes? Hold you to it!

Kewl, and the tips are generous! Liberty is stimulating!

Anonymous said...

mm, the northern light is stimulating

I'm changing my name to Fannie Mae
what did you learn in school today?
when a soldier makes it home
arlo thanks the narcs
which side are you on?

Anonymous said...


Be Afraid, Be very Afraid! You think today was bad? People are suffering as it is and our Messiah has just made it worse!

Oh, I forgot, we are the most arrogant country...we bad, saved all the other countries from what we are into as of this moment! Down with Capitalism, Down with succeeding as an American, let's let the Government tell us what to drive, what to eat, what language to speak, what to put our thermostat on, what we can make in Salary.......etc, etc, etc.

Good job Libs and Mr. Big Nose Maher! You just succeeded in 4 years of our demise.....And let's not forget the "Overseas Contingency Men" that want us dead!

I pledge allegiance to the United States of .... Russia, Germany...etc!

See you in the "Get Free Cheese line"!

Oh...DVD's, I-Pod's...that is too frickin' funny and sad! Plus, Queen Elizabeth has been Queen longer than his sorry ass has been on this planet and....well, Google might have helped let him and her majesty know, you don't touch Royalty!

Luckily, The Queen is Classy and Gracious!

My Vow and Quote:

I Pledge to Give "Your President" the Same Respect you gave Mine!

Anonymous said...

Plus, before the 4 years is up, I'm going to quit paying my Taxes so I can get a job in Buttheads administration!

Anonymous said...

And, it's one thing to listen to the "Hollywood Elite" bash us and our Country but, for "OUR OWN PRESIDENT AND COMMANDER AND CHIEF BASH US OVERSEAS?"

Oh, this is going to be the most fun I have ever had and I get 4 years of it!!!

Anonymous said...

mike_m.....where you at boy?

Don't know how to act without you bashing me!

Nothing but love Darlin'!

StephiB said...

HI Bill, my husband and I just finished watching your Religulous Documentary, it was great. My husband is a pastor and we laughed our butts off at those people you interviewed. Some were way out in left field. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall while you talked to them. It amazes me at how you were treated in most of those situations. You didn't conform to what they liked and they didn't want anything to do with you...or, you get kicked off the property all together! That really makes you want to conform huh? You did a great job with your documentary. If you ever want to hang out with people that hadn't fell off the deep end, look us up next time your in Minneapolis!

Anonymous said...


I AGREE WITH YOU BILL ON "I LOVE MY COUNTRY" and I will be damned if I let a little piss-ant come in and destroy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack Bauer Rules and what is so damn wrong with that?


Are you all that "stupid"?


Sam Donaldson, aren't you dead yet?

hey, everyone wanted Tony Snow Dead...so don't come bashing me!

Anonymous said...

Damn Bill, where is your flock? I need to be bashed and ridiculed and threatened...what am I going to do?

mike_m, clydene and all you other ass-wipes, come bash me...

I'm having withdrawals!!

Unknown said...

Bill, I've been a fan of yours for years and agree with you on a lot of issues such as gay rights, leagalization of marijuana, and some of your views on religion. I do, however, have some issues with your comments about a few subjects namely the South and teachers.

It seems you think all people of the South are red-neck, intolerant, ignorant hillbillies who sit around playing the theme from Deliverance all day and screwing their sisters. I would ask you, when was the last time you visited the South? Have you ever, really? I know you have, from time to time, done a stand-up bit somewhere in the South, but have your ever really talked to any Southerners? If you did, I think you would find we are NOT ALL bigoted, inbred, evangelicals.

I live about 25 miles north of Little Rock, Arkansas, and yes, I know I am a minority, but I also know I am not the only white, middle-aged person in this state that
--voted for O'Bama,
--believes gays should have the same rights as everyone else,
--believes stem cell research should not be hindered by religion,
--believes religion has no place in politics, and organized religion is corrupt--just as our political system is,
--believes we are screwing our planet more and more everyday while we worry about our IRA accounts--but, hey, at least we won't have to worry about the economy once the ice caps melts and we die,
--believes Rush Limbaugh IS an idiot.

The South has its problems, don't get me wrong, I would love to be able to see more cultural events and theater being promoted and funded and less religion and football. It would also be nice to see more teenage girls going to college and graduating and fewer having babies, but know this, there are ignorant people ALL over the US--in cities and suburbs, as well as in rural areas. The South does not have a monopoly on stupidity. (Look at Sarah Palin.) So why don't you lay off the South once in a while?

As a teacher, I also take offense to being blamed for all of the United States' problems. When IDIOTS quit popping out babies and give us children to educate that come to school healthy in mind. as well as body, instead of drug, alcohol, and television dependent kids, then maybe we will be able to teach them to be repsonsible, well-educated people who can think for themselves instead of "sheeple."

It would also help our jobs if education was valued today as it once was. We have little or no support from the government, society in general or even the parents of the children we are trying to teach. Everyone I meet (not in teaching) tells me when I tell them what I do, "I don't know how you do it. I could never be a teacher. It's too hard of a job" However, teaching has always been, and is still, one of the least lucrative jobs one can have. I make $40,000 a year with no benefits to speak of--much less than the average auto worker's pay. With such poor pay and benefits, it is amazing we have any "good" teachers--and we do--at all. You would think many "highly intelligent" people would go into careers where there are more benefits and higher pay, and you would be right--to a degree, but there are also many in education dedicated to something intangible--and unmeasurable--making sure the young minds of today are enlightened and educated to the best of our ability.

Teachers are required to spend entirely too much time testing (thanks to No Child Left Behind) and too little teaching. We have to revamp our ways of teaching and try out every new "fad" in teaching every few years without seeing if what we are doing is succeeding--thanks to the whims of whatever political party is in power. These same politicians think they are "experts" on education because they once sat in a classroom--most have never taught. Teachers often teach in unsafe, overcrowded, underfunded classrooms having basically the same technology they had 200 years ago. While the sports departments get new equipment EVERY year, we make do with books that are often 4 to 8 to even 12 years out of date and often not even enough of those for every child. We have to teach many subjects besides the subject we are hired to teach--sex education, ethics, hygiene, morals,etc. because parents are no longer taking ANY responsibility for their own child's education.--Let's talk about some accountability AT HOME once in while, why don't we?

I am a firm supporter of year-round school--we basically work year round (and weekends) anyway-- and school reform, but reform needs to be from the top down--kind of like our government. The entire educational system needs to be overhauled--kind of like the country, as a whole. The majority of teachers I have taught with for the 17 years I have been teaching are caring,well-educated, hard-working, excellent teachers who definitely did not get into teaching for the money and summer vacations. They are not "bad" teachers--they just have incompetent supervision. About half of the administrators I've worked for, on the other hand, are complete IMBECILES who really have no clue what good teaching is and are the ones evaluating teachers. Many went into administration after teaching or coaching for a few years because they really did not enjoy or succeed in teaching AND ad ministration is about the only way in education you MAY make more money. I just think, Bill, you might want to talk to a teacher or two--maybe do some research, before you start making statements trashing teachers and the educational system--we can't be entirely responsible for all of society's ills. Sorry we just can't. Anyways just wanted to tell you how I feel, and hey, if you ever want to talk to an "expert" on teaching, ask a career TEACHER!

Daily Aggravation said...

Can someone please start a discussion about POPULATION CONTROL? Your guests this week (apr 3) are talking about Nuclear Energy, "clean" coal, etc - and I can't think of a single problem the earth faces to day that can't be helped by Population control. Including the "trash" in space! Each ecolological environment has a "carrying" power, and we are exceeding ours, and like rats in a cage, we will kill and eat each other if it continues (along with all our resources!).
Why is no one talking about this? Is this discussion suppressed by the need for more and more "customers" in order to "grow" economies????
Please - let's get this into the mix!!

ZenGrouch said...

"Each ecolological environment has a "carrying" power, and we are exceeding ours, and like rats in a cage, we will kill and eat each other if it continues..."

Well then...

...problem solved!

Seriously, with that total douche nozzle Pope running around telling people that rubbers make things such as AIDS worse, don't count on anything other than unchecked genocide, or Chinese totalitarianism cutting into population growth.

Normally, I wouldn't complain about the rate of growth...

...but all the stupid people are breeding. I mean, look at the idiots who believe what the Pope tells 'em, like it's the word of God.

Unknown said...

You say that you support Israel. I am curious why. As an atheist, it does not make sense. Israel is a theocracy and is entirely built on religion and the fact that jews belong to that part of the world (according to religion and nothing else). Add to that that Israel has the blood of too many civilians. Supporting Israel just makes you a brain washed typical American. Brain washed by the media who we know is owned by whom. I can understand (but not agree) why religious people support Israel. They are waiting for Jesus to come back. But you??????? You being an atheist, this makes you a bigot towards Palestinians. Remember that any jew from anywhere in the world can go to Israel and take the land of a palestinian whose ancestors lived there for thousand of years.
Go back to you pot and stop repeating what the medis wants you to say.
And I used to love your shows....

Unknown said...


Is his name really Joe?

I can't believe that it was your idea to interview this guy, and even to reconcile with him. He is not anything like you, you have nothing in common and while you may share an objective, he does it for his masters as an interim objective and you do it because it is rational. That McCaine campaign afterbirth fool had his 15 minutes 6 months ago... out, out damn spot!

Lets start with his compulsive lying. He is not a licensed plumber, therefore he was an unskilled laborer. He was not just some guy John Boy plucked from the audience at random, he was a shill, a plant, an accessory, a co-conspirator. Now he aspires to elevated political rank without fat family ties or having done the lower politcal jobs, so today he is E5 cannonfodder in a clusterfuck beyond his obviously limited comprehension.

Adolf Hitler wanted to fix Europe too.

I loved his boots & french manicure, I live in a city and I will stack my blue collar hands and tore up work boots against his any day. I don't think Nike paid him to pimp them. You know Nike, the condescending zenophobes who took the SeeBee slogan JFDI - Just Fucking Do It - and made it into their PC ADD ad mantra for 20 years?

He look like a pet. Here pussy pussy...

Since he isn't a good enough liar to be a politician, at least in this country, and doesn't have the guns or sense to cheerleader anything, he is always Joe the Liar, to me.

The rest of your guests made up for him. Excellent show, best of the season, so far.

Anonymous said...

Just like a looney Lib.....bash the working man...

Is Bill Maher a licensed comedian? NOOOO! Does he make a living cleaning out other peoples shit? NOOOO! Does he sit around and bash ordinary people? YESSSS!

God, wake up people!

Here Pussy, Pussy!

We are in Hell and burning fast and you idiots will not wake up until the bomb lands on your head!


Oh and one more thing...Hitler is alive and well and Living in our White House!!!!

God, this is fun!

Yaser A. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

Starring Jehovah, Krishna, Allah, Satan and a cast of billions.....


From the Earthling that is
#1 on the
Must Ignore At All Costs list

behorne said...

Though I think Bernie Madoff deserves prison time, I believe our greed and lack of dilegence contributed to the problem.




Norman said...

Dear Bill

I think your shows and Movie are outstanding and you certainly bring up controversial subject matter.

However, I wonder if you have the courage to air a subject that is, I feel, incredibly urgent to immediately bring to the awareness of the public. No one has dared to discuss this subject to a mass audience. It’s about energy. Forget the nuclear, wind & solar debates and bring to your show a discussion on an alternate free energy that has been stolen and patented by the U.S Dept of Energy. They have been sitting on top of this for some years now and have deliberately withheld this information from everyone (the fact that it has possessed SELF-POWERING ASYMMETRIC MAGNET MOTORS AND GENERATORS since at least 2001). The release of this patent would solve the US oil/economic crisis in short order, and in months thereafter you would have a dramatic change of the entire U.S. scientific community, the government, etc. and the energy crisis worldwide will be solved forever, although it may in fact be too late to save the US economy and Country from imploding as it appears destined to do in short order.

There is one American doing his best to bring this to light but it is not enough. His name is Thomas E. Bearden Ph.D., nuclear engineer, retired Lieutenant Colonel (U.S. Army), CEO of CTEC, Inc., Director of the Association of Distinguished American Scientists, and Fellow Emeritus of the Alpha Foundation's Institute for Advanced Study. Tom is a theoretical conceptualist active in the study of scalar electromagnetics, advanced electrodynamics, unified field theory, KGB energetics weapons and phenomena, free energy systems, electromagnetic healing via the unified field action of extended Sachs-Evans electrodynamics, and human development. Particularly known for his work establishing a theory of overunity electrical power systems, scalar electromagnetic weapons, energetics weapons, and the use of time-as-energy in both power systems and the mind-body interaction.

If there is anything that you will do in the immediate future, please, please, investigate this matter and if you find it meaningless, than so be it, but at least give it a serious look.

Toms website can be found at http://www.cheniere.org and particularly look at some of his recent 2009 correspondence, such as /correspondence/012909.htm.

I do not normally approach people with this type of request but feel rather desperate to at least make some effort, as I don’t feel that we are going to survive as a society.
What have we humans done to ourselves?

Anonymous said...

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
- George Orwell

Anonymous said...

"I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens..."

"I support the separation of church and state. I'm just not very high on atheists."

ex-president GHB aka Lord Rohypnol

Now you know where W got his eloquent style.

Federal Medical Marijuana - Industrial Hemp US said...

While in Oakland, CA, I ran into a guy named, John Philipps, and he did time in Prison, and was ultimately exonerated for our rights to lawfully receive, Medical Marijuana. Folk heroes like him should be celebrated on shows like yours. He's the Horatio Alger of Hemp. his web is http://www.ffhboo.com/

Right now he wants the DEA to unseal his records.

you can contact him at

this is an excerpt from his WEbsite:

NEW GREEN JOBS + alternative fuel for the U.S.A. autos
Conspiracy cover up by D.E.A., D.A., Fed & CA.
Judges hiding Hemp Case #488924 A & B.
Philipps (A) Clancy (B) are Federal Industrial Hemp providers.

Federal Attorney needed, to file a motion to
unseal hemp Case D.E.A. file no. R9-030063/488924 A & B

This will reveal that A & B are the first to provide
federal industrial hemp and give the opportunity for new
members to cultivate [for] this new GREEN economy.
HEMP = 1,000 gallons ethanol per acre
Corn 800 gallons ethanol per acre
The Cover up,
First Federal Hemp Bank is part of the [Federal] controlled substance act; we manufacture,
warehouse and issue a schedule 1 substance hemp.

I think I saw him on facebook, I think he was listed as hemp farmers

Carol Gaudet said...

Bill, I've been a fan of yours for many years but I did not enjoy your last few Real Time shows.

We have suffered through eight long years of the Bush administration and amazingly, American voters finally made a collectively wise choice and voted Obama into office.

Now that we have a fighting chance, I would like to see debates about strategies to fulfill Obama's agenda. There is plenty of room for debate even when the ultimate goal is the same.

I am sick and tired of seeing the republicans spew their hatred and spin their yarns. We voted them out of office because we want to see them, their fear tactics, and anti-intellectualism marginalized to the point of extinction.

Please select intelligent and progressive guests for your show. Don't give credibility to the likes of Ann Colture, Joe the Plumber, and other ignorant obstructionists.

You're so much better than that!!

Anonymous said...

Why Obama is selling us out and escalating broad domestic spying

paul said...

help! someone needs to update the itunes podcast of the show. it's 2 weeks behind.

Mike said...

Multiple choice:
Which is more believable?
A). A bunny goes around and fills up baskets with candy for all the kids.
B). A man in the sky, impregnates a virgin, has a son, lets that son be executed, and then 3 days later,he comes to life, and everything is wonderful.
Go ahead, take your time!

Unknown said...

We give you a peace sign for your views on religion, minus the index finger. Your show is a pile of cow dung! God Bless

Anonymous said...

The tea party is a protest against big government. Whether its Darth Cheney Fascism or Nancy the human-rat mutant Socialism, its unAmerican. The US constitution is based on the rule of law - and noone is above the law.

This includes the 12 million ILLEGAL ALIENS, the CIA, NSA and politician criminals.

Since BO asserts the secret police, escalates a war with Mexico - hey, we gave the guns to Iraq, & Afghanistan & Israel before we attacked them. Oops, forget what I just said that about Isael. Getting reemed deeper & harder is not the change I had in mind.

Mainstream media will not cover the tea party. With any luck I'll get to see the look on their faces when the citizens reassert our right to self governance.


The Randian revolution is a strike. Imagine the world for a day with no sattelites... The Day The Earth Stood Still.

I'm sure your kids agree with me.

Anonymous said...


I'll take "No Confidence" for 300 million, as soon as I finish painting the eggs.

Anonymous said...

and otin,

Apparently the dude didn't kill his son. By amazing bullshit it turns out that he is his son and as supreme ruler is immortal and cannot die.

I like what Bill Hicks said better.

Anonymous said...

Ask any Christian or theologician, The lord God is his son, Jesus.

hows that for incest, inbreeding? Does pretty much explain the Pope's view in support of buggery & child molesting.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill,

April 15. Be there.


Anonymous said...

You know what would be a miracle? If I could remember your daddy's name. I believe that I will call you Pizza Delivery Driver Jr.

Mike said...

And Kris Kringle is fuckin' Santa Clause!

handheaded said...

bill maher,
great show, funny, forward, political, on and on.
probably some of the best television i’ve watched for some time.
your one stupidity is your one legged dancin stick you jab christians with.
i know it’s a stupidity that you don’t mind owning’
but really
you can’t blame the height and depth of human idiocy on christians.
the world has about six billion stupid, selfish, dogmatic, and blind people on it,
some of whom are christian.
“just because they disagree with you or don’t think as high as you doesn’t make them evil
or even wrong.” i say to myself,
reminded of all the people in history who did some good and forced human reason
from its vulture circle, some christian, many not, most of them religious, all the way back to men like zoriandor.
all of them lost to greater thoughts and passions than shitting and stealing.
better minds than yours or mine, bite your tongue, show some respect.
“can you say symbiotic? sure you can.” says mr. rogers, slipper sliding easy on that other foot. you become the opposing thumb on the same hand when you speak without connection to the environment you would have us to make whole. i can tell your disconnected, cause nothing in nature speaks like you. it is man’s base instinct
to forward his argument with hate, to attack the symptoms of sick with two guns,
missing the reason in all the smoke and bullets. nothing in nature is like you, she’ll
never be like you, and you’ll never understand from your seat under lights.
you wage a war of ideas
from a throne
with other men
i know dim is the view you all take from up there to down here, blaming the little people for shit high as the ceiling by now.
you remind me of my aunt carol sometimes,” bitch, bitch, scream!”
fuckin snark, bark bark bark. ya............ i’ve met dogs like you.
i can’t listen to that shit all the time and i even like you.
stupidity is not symptomatic of christianity but humanity, just like greed is.
it’s greed that is choking the planet.
yes christians tried to call it sin. yes they tried to explain it, even tried to hate it, but in end just put an easter bonnet on it so it’d blend in kneeling.
but at least they exposed it accurately.
“ ..the love of money is the root of all evil.”
and now look what your corporate sponsorship bought us,
satellites and white trash plastic reasons to keep speaking.
sincerely, andrew shepherd

Unknown said...

Comment on comic movies being the same and for kids was ridiculous, do yourself a favor and watch The History of The Watchmen, The Psychology of Batman and The Science of Spiderman from the history channel and tell me you still feel the same way about all comic movies being the same and Catwoman was garbage. You can't compare it to The Dark Knight, Ironman, Watchmen, Sin City, X-Men or even Spidey 2. Besides whats wrong and I think people need breaks from reality on tv in times of turmoil and all gloom and doom politics, escapism through fantasy is good for you. If all comic book movies are the same we might as well consider all science fiction movies the same too, while some are kiddy some have deeper psychological and moral tones with plenty of adult material. No room for imagination?

Anonymous said...


Your epic joke about the white trash in the Pacific will be recorded until that pile decomposes. At the rate the mutant chimps are going... we do not need any more technology to destroy - or to fix - this planet.

I think you hit a high point in your career last night. I missed the panel, I enjoy that process of brainstorming but your guests were peak. Gore Vidal can speak intelligently and equally formulate independent complex ideas at the same time, he is both dangerous and funny at the same time; I'm still trying to work out his admiration for Maddof. The devout Christian Charlie Manson, Rev. Jim Jones, even George Bush Sr. constrained themselves to the soft targets... and Ron Howard is more American than apple pie, which by now must be imported.

Oh and I agree, comic books are the action movies of the literary genre. Sorry comic book guy; try reading "The Fountainhead" and discover what it is like to learn while exploring your imagination. And fuck the Watchmen, the real Watchman is Kevin Poulsen! Escapism is for losers.

Anonymous said...


- Courtesy of George Orwell, ”1984”

here is a good photo of nancy.Be sure to read her lies...

To Gore Vidal: The freedom loving lawyers have been diligently working their asses off. You can check them at eff.net, the Electronic Freedom Frontier. As you correctly noted sir, they have gotten zero airtime in the fascist junta owned mainstream propaganda network. Smells like... Berlin, 1936.

Anonymous said...

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
- Mark Twain

If this offends anyone, I am not sorry.

Anonymous said...

The Tesla Model S all-electric family sedan that carries up to seven people and travels up to 300 miles per charge.

Tesla unveiled the car March 26. This historic vehicle is likely to be the world's first mass-produced, highway-capable electric vehicle when production begins in late 2011. The surge of reservations already proves that there's pent-up demand for a car that doesn't compromise on performance, utility or efficiency.

0-60 mph in 5.6 seconds
electronically limited top speed of 130 mph.
17-inch touchscreen with in-car 3G connectivity
can be recharged from any 120V, 208V or 240V outlet or quick-charged from an external direct current supply in only 45 minutes.

The anticipated base price of the Model S is $49,900 after a US federal tax credit of $7,500.

Check it at a showroom near you, or www.tesla.com

Anonymous said...


Obviously I don't pimp for them...

marilyn said...

bill, I love you. You're my Bill O'reiley. I know that's terrible, but I think I now know how those idiotic, right-wing, repressed republicans feel. I have found in you, an intelligent, sexy, logical human being to basically relay my own opinions to the (mostly) irrelevant public. The difference is, our opionions are based on logic. I can't take the idiocy of these religous folk ANYMORE. My diplomacy has run out. I'm tired of pretending to "respect" others choices while they willfully disrespect mine. How am I suppose to diplomatically allow them to continue their quest for that white rabbit, while they so infuriatingly urge me to do the same, w/o any regard to my feelings/beliefs? I'm sick and tired of being nice to these people. Nothing works...What next?

Mike said...

Do you think that Bill really reads these responses? It's kind of like an Atheist praying!

Unknown said...

Bill Maher has some balls speaking out against religion. What he doesn't know is that the balls it took to say those things aren't going to be worth a thing when he has a radical muslim in front of him cutting them off.



Between John Stewart thinking he is a real news anchor, you thinking you are a real political analyst...Clooney thinking his voice is actually more important than others...and Tim Robbins condesending to every person who has to work to make a living and doesn't agree with him...you are all doing a good job keeping pot smoking college kids up to date on current events.

Kudos for that.

Anonymous said...

Hola Sr. Bill

Gracias por la publicidad gratuita! Las ventas están. Ojalá las bolsas no cuestan 4 centavos.

Esta mierda que vende, si mi bendita madre puede olerlo ella me pegaba! Es terrible!


Senor Carlos, Patrone de Carlos Sr.


Anonymous said...

Reaction to recent lame commercials

Chevron: "Lets put aside our differences."

Makes me ask for the 1st time, what are our differences?
1. record profit taking during record economic crisis
2. Irreversible global pollution
3. Political bribery & corruption. Remember the Superfund?

Chase Bank: "We're here to help."
Oh fuck, they own the gov't & they're here to help. Just like they helped themselves to wall street. Now they are abandoning their polluted buroughs and encroaching on my formerly serene, pristine home. Fuck that! Can't go any further west, have to make a stand against the menchen.

Are these PR morons overpaid or what? Would you trust them to represent you?

IMO if they convict Phil Specter they have to convict Ted Stevens of treason; 85 years old is no excuse for a treasonous life.

Anonymous said...

I agree with jackiee...hey no long shirt for the next comedy special. You looked hot in "The Decider" lets see a similiar outfit.

And no I don't think Bill reads these, I doubt he maintains this site either. Damn, I need to stop reading these things and get back to my never ending homework.

Anonymous said...


Can you get an interview with Bernie Madoff? I figure since he's got nothing better to do than resist scratching his roids and since he's owned for life, we might as well use him for sport.

Besides, I want to make sure he's really on ice. Even the guards were selling Paris Hilton when she went in for 2 days, not a peep about the 56 billion dollar man. I don't trust any of the felonious fucks in the broken justice system.

niki said...

Churches Kill "Gay" Children
That may sound like an extreme statement but it's hard to deny that attacks against homosexuals by clergy validate bullying in schools and gay bashing on the street. In the past week an 11-year old student at a Springfield, Mass. Charter school committed suicide by hanging himself after being taunted by other students for being effeminate and "gay."

Self-appointed extremist evangelicals have decided that it is their god-given right to carry out a religious crusade against homosexuals from the pulpit knowing that their incendiary speech is exempted from prosecution as hate speech because of the constitutional protection granted to religious hate speech. Mega-church "pastors" like Ted Haggard of Colorado Springs an advisor to President Bush was a crusader against homosexuals until it was found that he was an active homosexual himself - an employer of gay escorts and a user of illegal drugs. Haggard has already arranged for god to forgive him but how many bullies had he inspired, how many gay-bashings had he encouraged, how many suicides had he caused before his hypocrisy was found out.

Haggard and his submissive wife are now on the media circuit attempting to resurrect him in public opinion and in the good graces of his church. But he's finding it difficult to get the congregation he taught to hate homosexuals to put him back in charge of the collection plate which brought in the tax-free millions to support his "lifestyle." Maybe, using his logic, he should have made the heterosexual "lifestyle choice" Like Jimmy Swaggart, he would be back in the pulpit again and enjoying the untaxed, unaudited income that position will bring

axie said...

A beautiful 11 year old boy hanged himself yesterday because of school bullying. His crime was to be sweet and inoffensive, so he was labelled "gay". Instead of erasing this persecution, churches who comment on homosexuals enable it. They create a climate of entitlement for people with hateful attitudes. Just saying the words can lead to someone's death.

Nathan Strack said...

Finally someone is fighting back for people who have small bladders. I'm all for religious freedom but when it's forced onto others so blatantly it's just ridiculous. This incident happened a few years back if I remember right but at least he's now taking some action to get some of this nonsense behavior into the light.


Anonymous said...

We are all going to Hell in a hand basket and Bill Maher is leading the way.....He's so stupid, ugly, big mouth and gay!

Ok, Bill? Do those words make you want to kill yourself?

I "think Not"!

Grow up people! Words do not Kill, people kill themselves. Parents need to take responsibility for Parenting by talking to their child!

Stop blaming all the people you hate for everything that happens on this planet and think for once!!!!

Hate Kills faster then Words!!!

and yes, mike_m, I'm Trolling!!!

niki said...

Independent thinker should connect his thought to fact - rather than allowing one to flare off independent of the other. Words can do serious harm in our society because they are expressions of hatred whether they come from the pulpit or from the platform. US courts have always been reluctant to punish content of speech, except where it poses a "clear and present danger" like yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre.

independent thinker should look into cases like Rwanda where years of divide and conquer British colonialism created hatreds that were fed by radio broadcasts that incited tens of thousands of killings. Its not really necessary to rehash hitler's speeches and the attendant consequences. Words are the vehicle of hatred and they can be deadly - especially when they appear to be sanctioned by a creator who considers gays an 'abomination' that should be punished by death

Anonymous said...

I wonder what the CIA/NSA said to Obama when they briefed him. Did they threaten to toture and murder him & his family, or nuke a major US city?

Cybersecurity Act would give president power to 'shut down' Internet
The threat from the left is the dem aristocracy & the threat from the right is the rep aristocracy.

The purpose of the 'tea party' is to protest big wasteful government. You know, when a senator's friends all tool around the superbowl with FBI escorts & others spend millions to decorate their offices, while students are schooled in mobile units.

Anonymous said...

Disguised as Joe Secspakski, Bill Maher mingled with the Tea Partiers. Being a master of disguises and in full actor mode, he immediately detected the undercover Republican, CIA, FBI, LAPD, La Emme, Mossad, Japanese, MI6 & Al Queda agents.

"Looks like 4 out of 5 party goers are rats." thought Maher, "and half the rest are neoNazis."

Prepared as always, he slipped on the flesh colored glove and dipped his hand in his pocket, into a baggy of DMSO mixed with LSD and spanish fly. "How y'all doin!" he said loudly, smiling and reaching out to shake hands with the first government paid protagonist...

niki said...

Maher will have to be a bit more careful in selecting his disguises - especially at those tea parties where fox and cnn estimated the turn-out between 1 and 100,000. It was too easy to detect which freedom fighter was Maher and which one was Lou Dobbs or Glen Beck

Anonymous said...

The cartoonist wadded another sheet and flung it in the direction of a heap of folders left over from the annual IRS torture & invasion of privacy.

"Fuckshitpiss, I will have to draw him with a smaller package," she thought. "and lifts."

The pencil followed the paper, only sticking deftly into the wall. "Twang!" said the artist, to noone. Stretching, she reached for her cannabis tea and sipping, set up another sheet. (Is there nothing hemp can't do?)

"When Barack & Michelle got off the plane" she wrote, "they looked different because they were different. The CIA had replaced them with actors on the plane. B &M were probably fishbait."

Crunch Crunch Crunch! And that wad too sailed onto the mound.

Then an electric VW effortlessly flowed from her hand. "Its so quiet" she thought, randomly adding 3 sizes of day-glo pink polka dots all over it, to protect the childlike. "Thats better."

"When Bill found he was the only one to show, he reached for his cellphone with his left hand and dipped his right hand into a baggy in his pocket."

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill

Congrats on your award from the religulous ignorant. You know are getting to them when they acknowledge your threat to their carefully maintained scam, and thats progress. Its safer to do like their pastors & just take their money .

The Dr. Suess BibleTeabaggers: The new Goths
Politically sensitive outcasts. They disdain Democrats & intellectuals, but truly hate Republican wannabes - like Senator Boner.

Anonymous said...

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2009 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

A Satisfied Taxpayer

Anonymous said...

President Bush decides to take a break and go out to sit in a local bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that President Bush sitting at the end of the bar?'

The bartender says, 'Yep, that's him.' So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honour! What are you doing in here?'

Bush says, ' I'm planning WW III.'

Then the guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'

Bush says, 'Well, I'm going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits?
Why kill a blonde with big tits?'

Bush turns to the bartender and says,

'See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims.'

Marshall Dunn's Satire Emporium said...

Thanks for making a detour through Tulsa. Wish you'd update your blog, though. We need our daily fix of political satire.

chaz01 said...

my letter to the president

Dear President Obama,

First let me congratulate you on winning the election. As a taxpayer in the state of Florida have a real concern for how the public assistance programs such as Food Stamps limit those for eligibility. Any one that has more than $2000 in the bank between checking and savings are denied food stamps, even if they do not have a job or any income. They expect you spend that on food in lieu of giving assistance. When we all know that if you have a house or rent payment along with utilities and car expenses $2000 does not last long but it would last longer if you could get food stamps.

I think that this is an unrealistic, unreasonable and ridicules figure. Basically that is more than enough to take care of your needs if you need food don't pay something (house payment or rent ect...) and when your below that $2000 mark and near losing your home or car ect... then you can be approved. When it should be based on what income you have and not your savings within reason of course.

But some people are cashing out CD's 401k's ect... to be able to pay their bills and may only have $6000 and needing to pay rent or mortgages and other bills with that and that. And it is not fair that they cannot get assistance. What about a bailout for the people when do we the taxpayers get some REAL RELIEF? WHEN? WHEN?

We the taxpayers have given billions to companies that don't deserve it. We the people have given money to companies that have charged outrageous fees and interest rates. Insurance companies charge unfair rates and decide what care you can and cannot have. When does it end?

Everyone wants to place all the blame on these companies but here is the real truth. Our Government has egregiously failed its citizens by allowing these things to happen by not protecting us. The most important job of the House, Senate and Presidents office is to do just that PROTECT US FROM HARM IN ALL FORMS, not just terrorists or others that wish to do us harm. Like Corporate Terrorism and Economic Slavery.

These companies that are making millions, billions by driving up the cost of medical care and medicines. Banks that charge ridicules fees and outrageous rates. The over charging of services by Cable TV and Communication companies and every other company that charges more than what it's worth. Where is our protection from that? We have none. This causes more harm on a daily basis. We can’t even get our minimum wage above poverty level. When did our government go from, For the People by the People to, For the Rich People by the Rich People?

I write this letter as a supporter of your campaign and your presidency, but most importantly an unprotected citizen of this nation.
Along with national health care that includes Dental these things need to be addressed and done so now.

I highly doubt that the right to free enterprise was meant to be a gateway to allow Economic Slavery. And this is exactly what we have today. Thanks to the Fraud that has been perpetrated against the American People by all whom, including the House and Senate that have been given money by corporations and lobbyist groups to have their vote bought.

After all the way i see it. If it's not fraud and i as a citizen of this country elected someone to represent me and they receive money, they are selling my vote. So it's either fraud for selling votes and misrepresentation to the American people, or someone needs to start sending out checks to the American people for our cut of the sale. You cant have it both ways. It needs to stop Now.

I think it is unfair to ask the American People to continue to bailout these companies and giving handouts to those that wont pay it forward. It's time that You as our President protect us from Corporate Slavery and Corporate Welfare. We the People In Order To form a more perfect union, need one. Say no to Economic Slavery.

Amendment XIII

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Thanks for your time,
Timothy S Dykes

gt500 said...

I would consider myself to be a "middle of the road" conservative, meaning the I like to be INFORMED as much as possible from all side before makinig a descision or taking a stand, unlike the majority of your sheepish followers. I was wondering if you had an opinion on the following:

Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law, St. Paul , Minnesota , points out some interesting facts concerning the Presidential election:

Number of States won by: Democrats:19 Republicans: 29
Square miles of land won by: Democrats: 580,000 Republicans: 2,427,000
Population of counties won by: Democrats:127 million Republicans: 143 million
Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Democrats: 13.2 Republicans: 2.1
Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory Republican won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country. Democrat territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."

Do we as a nation really want these kind of people being those who decide Presidency? Since you like statitics so much, how about throwing these out there on your HBO show Real Time and see what a Real Response you get?
I do watch your show every week and actually agree with some of it.

It would also be helpfull if someone explained to me why it seems to be ok with everyone for Mr. Obama to substitute the Iraq war with the Afghan war. If the general population thought that fighting in the desert was a bad idea....they should ask a neighbor who has fought in the mountians of Afghanistan as I have.

Anonymous said...

The planet is not dying. It is being killed. And the people killing it have names and addresses.

Utah Phillips

ZenGrouch said...

Yeah... The people killing the planet have addresses, otherwise they'd be living in eco-friendly cardboard boxes downtown next to the Mission.

Zen Grouch

Anonymous said...

Today after Jane Harman got Blageviched, I bet Boehner is chewing Valium like it was Argentine fillet mignon.

ZenGrouch said...

"Today after Jane Harman got Blageviched, I bet Boehner is chewing Valium like it was Argentine fillet mignon."Dennis?... Dennis Miller?... Is that you?

Zen Grouch

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