Tuesday, June 2, 2009

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - MAY 29 2009

Friday, May 29th, 2009



QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, May 29th, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.





Sonia Sotomayor, her background, wow, graduated first in her class at Princeton, Yale Law School, a prosecutor, a sitting judge for the last 18 years. Or as conservatives call it, "unqualified."

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Here’s a woman who was raised in the Bronx, tough neighborhood, without a father. And that's how you know America is a great melting country - when your Supreme Court justice has the same back-story as your lap dancer.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



The last time Rush Limbaugh talked to a Hispanic woman, it was his maid, getting him his drugs.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



What happens on your plate represents your most important engagement with the natural world and the biggest impact you have on climate change. Meat eating in particular represents a tremendous amount of greenhouse gasses produced.



New Rule: Before the Supreme Court welcomes its first Hispanic Justice, Clarence Thomas must admit he's a little disappointed that Obama didn't pick a lesbian.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: Honey Nut Cheerios have to take the bee off the box. It reminds me that all the bees are dying, and if I wanted to start my day staring at something that makes me want to kill myself I'd watch Fox and Friends. We lost almost a third of America's bee population last winter. I can't take another morning thinking about a beautiful striped animal going extinct. Which is why tomorrow I'll have Frosted Flakes.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were Richard Pollan, John Bolton, Heather Wilson and Harper Hill.

648 comments:

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dweebisis said...

Damn.
Here I go again.

Bill, I mean, Zen...I feel really bad now after just posting the meanie post. I just read your post on MJ. Good job and thanks for posting the truth about MJ.

Leave it to the Grouch Master!

dweebisis said...

Zen Dope Advocate,
I read some of your posts on earlier pages. Could you please stop calling people the c word? Don't you think that you're being a little hypocritical when saying that? I get that you're not emasculated, and I agree that America does have a problem with feminizing men in this day and age..to the point of only seeing gay looking male models on runways and in magazines. Believe it frustrates me too. I'm starting to think Pink is looking hot these days. Anyway, using that word is kind of backasswords. Maybe you should just stick with the the D word. Thanks Zen Bill!

ZenGrouch said...

"Could you please stop calling people the c word?..."

Well, I was trying to wean myself off the word, after I just about wore it out on I.T.

Guess I've been yelling at Brits too much over the past decade on the Internet, and have become immune to the rage the word inspires in 'mericans.

Fuckin' Brits will call their dear Mum a... you know, at the Sunday dinner table, if the saint doesn't pass the fucking butter fast enough.

But yeah, I can lay off the C word for a while anyway.

Hell, I'll even lay off the *Michael Jackson sucked young cock* thing, for a few weeks anyway, if that'll make people feel any better.

Besides, the fucker's dead, so his child molestation days are behind him.

I just feel really sad for those who are so emotionally tied to the guy.

Took some photos near his sidewalk star last night and really felt bad for this one girl I photographed, who was obviously torn up by the events.

I posted the photos at: sorryaboutthat.org/mj

She's the one with the red watery nose.

And I'm a bit curious as to what's up with the "Bill Zen" thing. You are talking to me right?

Anyway, hope you don't mind that I put a link to your blog on mine at zengrouch.com

Not looking for you to return the favor, since I haven't written anything in so long, it's embarrassing.

Anonymous said...

Peace is groovy, cat-like.

Z & IT enjoy battling each other, its not war. Its more like coitus internetus...

I enjoy Zen's webwork. IT has a position and argues it honestly, but I'm atheist: facts first, please.

I would not have taken the time to shoot the circus at MJ's star, but thats a really good idea, especially with all the corporate media propaganda, which is apparently using this to supplement the already underway Iran distraction in order to cover up some fucked up fascist police state business.

Zen, submit your photos to Life magazine etc.! Demand monay... think big, NYT is the last stop.

You should do well.

Anonymous said...

Bill,

Wthout trying I can name 200 rock musicians, 1960 - 1980 who will be named in the historical documents.

Its easiest to name the bands, but the players were more important. One name you might not have in your iPod stack is Robert Fripp, currently at large. Do your homework, he might be the most influential rock & roll artist to date. In your work, list the musicians he worked with who later became stars, and the bands he launched.

Prince of Pop? Robert Fripp is King Crimson.

ZenGrouch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ZenGrouch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ZenGrouch said...

...OK, I'm moody, so sue me.

ZenGrouch said...

"Jesse Jackson: Family wants answers

Michael Jackson's family suspects that the singer's personal doctor, Conrad Murray, knows more about Jackson's death, but they have been unable to contact him, the Rev. Jesse Jackson said today
..."

Now wait just a fucking minute!

*I* saw photos of the doctor and this doctor IS NOT WHITE!

So why is Jessie 'SHOW ME DA MONEY' Jackson sniffin arou...

...ohhhhh, Jessie *JACKSON*!

You can bet this mother fucker is going to be the first Jackson in line when it comes time to sue, EREBODY! With his sons being second and third...

**SOMBODY GOTS TA PAY FO' THE ATROSCIOUSNESS OF THIS ATTROCOTY! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL MY COFFERS ARE ONCE AGAIN FULL TO THE VERY TIPPY TOP! ---amen**

Anonymous said...

Bill Maher,

Please tell Rockabilly Bob T that he has to add Run/DMC, LL Cool J, Rage Against the Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers & Nirvana to his list of post 70s musicians who will be remembered in a hundred years. Maybe also Phish.

Rock didn't die, grandpa jes gittin old!

Anonymous said...

One more thing, I'm on a tear:

Last November Mitch Mitchell died (of natural causes).

You might remember Mitch Mitchell as the drummer who could keep up with Jimi Hendrix. He was the last member of JHE to buy the farm.

Mitch Mitchell is known for inventing fusion drumming; that's how he kept up with Jimi, he played his heart out.

So where was the fanfare for this rock legend?

I figure the greedy corporate leeches are making this big show in the media in order to exploit his death as much as they can to boost record sales. Forget Michael Jackson.

I see Jesse Jackoff & Rev Sharpton have taken advantage of the empty mike during this media pigfest... fucking leeches! Didn't know Al was such an expert on Michael; did he also invent the Internet & global warming?

Anonymous said...

The Man Who Fell To Earth

Gypsy said...

Love.. is there a line.. when you feel love is real, how far would you go.

Gypsy said...

λσδ Trinity

I enjoy Zen's webwork. IT has a position and argues it honestly, but I'm atheist: facts first, please

===================================

what facts do Atheists view as credible?

ZenGrouch said...

"Zen, submit your photos to Life magazine etc.!..."

Thanks!

I wrote a lengthy heartfelt response earlier, but when I sobered up, I deleted that sucker...

ZenGrouch said...

By my standards Elvis was WAY more successful and popular than Jackson.

He made some movies that were actually quite good, such as Jailhouse Rock and one of my all time favorites King Creole, due to my fondness of New Orleans, and the great location shots. Plus his music was right on time.

He cranked out hundreds of albums, wrote more songs than he could remember.

I think the little freak Jackson married his daughter, just do he could defile her and in his own way, piss on Elvis's memory.

If anyone thinks Jackson wasn't a thief, just ask Little Richard...

imaNYgirl said...

I just have to say that Bill Maher has saved me from the brink of insanity more than once these last few months. If it weren't for him, I would think this entire country has gone stark raving mad. I know Republicans are in the minority, but because they are so damn loud and crazy, it's easy to see why people get the wrong impression and think they are overtaking the country. The reason the sane, rational, and non-religious people don't step up more often to voice their opinions or engage in debate is simply because it is a waste of time and energy. The nutjobs have an answer for EVERYTHING and they are not open to debate. You can't debate faith. You can't debate Jesus. You can't debate the Bible. You can't debate guns, sex education, marriage, or animal rights. It's like trying to engage in meaningful conversation with a box of Fruity Pebbles cereal. There is no changing what's printed on it and what's on the outside, never resembles what's on the inside. It's full of bright colors and manipulative wording to get you to eat it, but it doesn't have any nutritional value and is actually bad for your health!

Anonymous said...

Too many great ideas & quotes, viddy yourself. Bill Maher interviews Oliver North, 6/19/2009 Yup, as Oliver Stone said 'they' control the media.

What facts? That would be observed reproduceable phenomena.

Pseudo-facts include theory, delusion and fantasy. For instance some assholes who used to murder people for thinking otherwise recently conceded that the Earth is not flat. Fantasy is by far the safest, as the experience is recognized as not real.

"The Church of Reason" = academia. They worship their theories and cannonize the people who first advocated them. Most of these devotees accept specific theories as real, so they are not scientific and are seldom called on their bullshit. "Pop science" is their evangelical arm.

There are real scientists whose work is funded by all the degreed hacks who only gurged up on cue.

If you have the discretionary judgement to see the treadmill monkeys for what they are, you will always be saner than them. "You can't fix stupid" - Ron White

Anonymous said...

Oliver North? I'm not even high, where'd that come from?

I forget who but a comedian said Oliver Stone is definitely a disinformation agent, otherwise GHWB wouldn't permit him to make the movies he has.

My favorite is still Natural Born Killers.

ZenGrouch said...

I thought Natural Born Killers was one of those perfect movies I watch over and over, like Pulp Fiction...

Then the directors cut came out!

Head on a pike fun for the entire family!

If you haven't seen it, get it TODAY!

Don't forget to listen to the commentary!

So fuckin' good...

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill Maher.

Do not think that life is worth
only what we can do as individuals !

Many have ridden on others ideas and fame ! I try to not be one of them !

One thing do you lack to receive the complete power of Pure Logic. A personal encounter with Him/Me/The Pure Logic, amongst other things !

I have your DVD "Religious", and it is quite certain.

Kindly,
Eng George F. Thomson
thepurelogic
jointquest.com

Unknown said...

What a load of shit on Maher the other day. First of all, how delightful that he brought on the leader of the racist organization NAACP, who shamelessly plugged in his buddy on death row that he's trying to get off.

Maher you need to step it up a bit. Maybe talk about the occupation of the Palestinian people that is going on in Israel right now. But you're not gonna do that, are you? Nah. Not if you still wanna have a show on H.B.O.

Anonymous said...

Blow my woody & shiver me timbers! As the TV is 999 channels of paid for propaganda, why don'y you step it up right here and post what you think is so important?

I agree with you about the Palestine issue, but I think you might want to address your grievances to the fuckers who can do something about that, such as Bam Bam & Ram Emmanuel Goldstein. Bill is an entertainer and if what you are saying is correct (IS) that issue is offside.

Anonymous said...

Fun with Dick & Jane happens: Suspended attorney held in bank robbery

ZenGrouch said...

Re: Bank Robbin' Attorney...

"Officers arrested Silman at his home on Lucky Drive at about 6:30 a.m. Thursday..."

Location, location, location...

Actually, I feel for the poor guy.

Lost his right to practice for not paying his licensing fees.

And who among us hasn't thought about robbing a bank, if things get just a bit worse?

Armored cars are where the real money is.

One day when I was a piggie, I had to babysit an armored car that broke down in a bad neighborhood.

They said they were sitting on $5 million. I must have had that look, because they laughed at me and bet me ten bucks they knew exactly what I was thinking...

A fellow swine I thought of as, and still consider to be, a *good* guy, masterminded a Brinks robbery, and got away with it.

...until he started fucking one of the folks in on it, and her husband got all pissy about it an turned him in. Then everyone ratted him out, including his sister.

Anyway, what the heck, the guy may be an attorney, but he had the balls to pull a bank robbery.

Is that a *bad* thing?

Anonymous said...

He was a lawyer & member of the bar for 20 years. He couldn't come up with a better way to steal?

He went home! HE ROBBED A BANK IN HIS NEIGHBORHOOD AND WENT HOME?

If I were him I would plead insanity. If they got the money back & he didn't use a firearm they'll probably cut him some slck, its not like Bernie or Ken or Vincent or Charles Keating... the real bank robbers.

Anonymous said...

Directions to the crime scene, courtesy maps.google.com

Lucky Dr Corte Madera, CA 94925

1. Head southwest on Lucky Dr toward Fifer Ave 167 ft
2. Turn left at Fifer Ave 0.1 mi
3. Take the ramp onto US-101 S 0.7 mi
4. Take the Tamalpais Dr exit toward Paradise Dr 0.2 mi
5. Turn right at Tamalpais Dr (signs for Tamalpais Dr/Corte Madera/Larkspur) 0.2 mi

Tamalpais Dr, Corte Madera, CA 94925

Thats under 8000 feet door to door. I have no law degree and I avoids bars that attract lawyers, but I know I could have come up with a better idea.

ZenGrouch said...

"He went home! HE ROBBED A BANK IN HIS NEIGHBORHOOD AND WENT HOME?..."

He reached a point of desperation, many of will find ourselves in, in the near future, thanks to the course of action Bush put this country on.

He harmed no one, other than himself, and is deserving of examination.

These are crazy times, and good people do crazy shit.

But I don't know, maybe he needs to get ass fucked to death in prison, just to make an example of his ways.

ZenGrouch said...

If anyone cares, I added some commentary to the photos I took at Michael Jackson's Hollywood Star, before, during and after it was made accessible to the public fruit cakes...

Michael's Hollywood Star!

Anonymous said...

Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow.

As for the licentious litigator, I think we have a next role for Wllm Robert Thornton. The screenplay wrote itself. Hit up Nesmith for indie film monay...

Maybe he's not dead. Maybe to dodge his crimes he's doing a Ken Lay, who got W to certify him dead + Brazilian plastic & came back as Bernie to complete his Masonic mission on the banks.

How could anyone sane be completely broken up over the death of a stranger? This would include Elvis, but not MLK JFK & RFK, who were making a positive contribution in the lives of strangers when they were sanctioned.

Anonymous said...

On a lighter note,

On September 9, 2002, filmmaker Bart Sibrel, a proponent of the Apollo moon landing hoax theory, confronted Aldrin outside a Beverly Hills, California hotel. Sibrel said "You're the one who said you walked on the moon and you didn't" and called Aldrin "a coward, a liar, and a thief." Aldrin punched Sibrel in the face. Beverly Hills police and the city's prosecutor declined to file charges.

Thats fair.

and

"As I approach my 80th birthday, I'm in no mood to keep my mouth shut any longer when I see NASA heading down the wrong road, and that's exactly what I see today... The agency's current Vision for Space Exploration will waste decades and hundreds of billion dollars ... Instead of a stepping-stone to Mars, NASA's current lunar plan is a detour."
from Aldrin Creates Buzz Opposing NASA Moon Plan, or as I call it, your tax dollars illegally redistributed to better assrape you
- Buzz Aldrin

nope, you aren't negative. you just aren't focusing your aggression in the right direction...

ZenGrouch said...

Buzz Aldrin is very active on Twitter, using the name:

@therealBuzz

Gypsy said...

RE: PROVE IT BY Independant Thinker..

I don't have to Karma HAS SPOKEN...

THAT IS ENOUGH FOR ME...

I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE REST FALL TO.

Cheryl Brodersen said...

I'm not even touching the measuring the moon bit...My first time on this blog, interesting. Kooky. What I still don't get is the whole, "Obama wasn't born in the US." Technically that tagline should go to John McCain who was born in the Panama Canal Zone. YES, I get it, we controlled it then so technically it was 'part' of the United States. But in the election with all the carrying on, I never once heard this fact come to light. In a typical Bill Maher spin: What would everyone have made of Obama had HE been born in the Panama Canal Zone. I bet it would have been a different story, not quite so American soily then, I bet.

ZenGrouch said...

That whole thing about Obama being born outside of the United States wasn't very well thought out.

If it's not true, the Right wingers are dupes to the likes of Rush.

If it' *is* true, then the Right wingers are little pieces of shit who are totally powerless, as a Black man sits in the White House after getting there ILLEGALLY!!

All they can do is piss and moan, because they're too fucking stupid to get the law on their side!

What a bunch of dumb fucks!

ZenGrouch said...

Oh, how about this you right wing dick suckers?!

To show your contempt for Obama, that illegal occupant of the White House, you can start referring to him not as an *African American* but you can call him an *African African*!

Passive aggression at it's FINEST!

You stupid cunts!

LAPhil said...

John:

You're going to believe what you want to believe, even after the truth appears right in front of your face. Just because it appeared on the WND website, the Kenyan birth certificate is no more suspect than the replica posted by Obama, in fact much less so. If you can prove it's not authentic I'll be first "birther" to admit I was wrong.

Half politiKal said...

The author that you had on who said he talked to the lieutenant in charge of Bradley Fighting Vehicle. The author claimed the lieutenant had received a copy of the "Passion of Jesus Christ" during his deployment to Somalia. However, this movie did not come out until ten years after the military left Somalia. Obviously, this author is a liar.

Dean Jackson said...

In 1997 NORAD said they insure, "Aircraft flying over our air space are monitored seven days a week, 24 hours a day."

In 2004 the Air Force contradictorily said, "Before 2001, 1st Air Force was charged with keeping an eye on the nation’s borders, usually looking for threats in the form of Russian aircraft skirting too close for comfort to the mainland. In those few hours, the command’s mission went from looking outward to looking inward."

See the 5 articles on NORAD at www.DNotice.org

Dean Jackson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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