Friday, February 26, 2010

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - FEB 26, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010



QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 26th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.



Being politicians you know, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother’s battle with cancer. And Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Obama’s like a guy in college who spends a whole year, wasting it, trying to hit on Ellen DeGeneres.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Obama reaching out to Republicans



Bush said he had spent the last year working on his book. I swear. Hard to believe Bush has a book. But if you buy Cheney has a heart…

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Bush’s visit with Cheney



The games were fun, but there were some high-profile mistakes, come on. Admit it. Like the terrible decision to let Toyota design the luge.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Also in the category of obvious but still shocking, an animal called a killer whale killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.

- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue



The United States, rather than simply try to talk to these guys who now run Iran, we ought to be looking for ways to strengthen the green movement, the opposition in the streets of Iran, to see if we can’t help bring about a change in politics in that country.

- Richard Haass, President of the Council on Foreign Relations



What I thought was good about the summit was it made clear that there is a real ideological difference. And if Obama believes in healthcare reform he should push it through. He has a majority. He doesn’t need the Republicans to support him.

- Chrystia Freeland, US Managing Editor of The Financial Times



Nobody wants to pay for somebody else.

- Chris Rock, regarding resistance to healthcare reform



If you look at gun violence, the big problem is the war on drugs, in my opinion. I think as long as you criminalize a behavior that tons of folks are involved in, you know, you basically create this huge spiral of crime.

- Reihan Salam, co-author of "Grand New Party" and a columnist at The Daily Beast



The NRA, these are the same guys that are all worried about big government and your rights and your right to thrive and live and everything else. But it you or I grew a pot plant on our property, they’d want it seized by the government n… and to me, that’s just hypocritical.

- Adam Carolla



New Rule: Don’t bring wine to my dinner party. Because then if you drink it, it’s not really a gift, is it? But if I choose a different wine, you’re thinking, “What the hell’s wrong with the bottle I brought?” And when you bring wine and then say, “I don’t drink,” what kind of condescending crap is that? Your cute little gift is such a minefield of potential awkwardness; thank God I’m already high.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: Saying “Hey, it was the ‘80s” is not an excuse. This week the New York Times broke the news that when Senator Scott Brown went on a first date with his wife, he was wearing pink leather shorts. Let me repeat that: He was wearing pink leather shorts, because, “It was the 80s.” Scott, I remember the 80’s, and one man wore that outfit. So congratulations, tea-baggers, you just elected Richard Simmons.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were Chrystia Freeland, Reihan Salam, Olivia Wilde, Adam Carolla, and Richard Haass, with a special surprise appearance by Chris Rock.

138 comments:

Julian said...

hey is it just me or did that house lady seem to have a huge crush on chris rock? hot...

Anonymous said...

Here is a list of black participants in the 2010 Winter Olympics. More Black athletes than I originally thought in the Winter Olympics.

BLACK ICE SERIES: Winter Olympics: Athletes To Watch

Richard Adjei, Bobsledding, Germany
Dusseldorf, western Germany | *medal contender*

Timothy Beck, Bobsledding, Netherlands
Assen, northeastern Netherlands

Yannick Bonheur & Vanessa James, Pairs Figure Skating, France
Chevilly, central France (via Canada & UK for James)

Lascelles Brown, Bobsledding, Canada
Calgary, Alberta, western Canada | *medal contender*

Shelley-Ann Brown, Bobsledding, Canada
Pickering, Ontario, east-central Canada | *medal contender*

Shani Davis, Speedskating, USA
Chicago, Illinois, midwestern U.S. | *medal contender*


Nkeiruka Ezekh, Curling, Russia
Moscow, western Russia

Jerome Iginla, Ice Hockey, Canada
Edmonton, Alberta, western Canada | *medal contender*

Errol Kerr, Ski Cross, Jamaica
Truckee, Nevada, western U.S. | JAM citizenship via dad

Elana Meyers, Bobsledding, USA
Douglasville, Georgia, southern U.S. | *medal contender*

Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong, Slalom Skiing, Ghana
born in Glasgow, Scotland | raised in Ghana

Henry Nwume, Bobsledding, Britain
Nottingham, mideastern England | born in Zambia

Johnny Oduya, Ice Hockey, Sweden
Stockholm, southeastern Sweden | *medal contender*

Kalyna Roberge, Speedskating, Canada
Saint-Étienne-de-Lauzon, Quebec | *medal contender*

Bill Schuffenhauer, Bobsledding, USA
Ogden, Utah, western U.S. | *medal contender*

Leyti Seck, Alpine Skiing, Senegal
Salzburg, Austria | born in Munich, Germany

Robin Szolkowy, Pairs Figure Skating, Germany
Greifswald, eastern Germany | *medal contender*

Robel Teklemariam, Cross-Country Skiing, Ethiopia
Addis Ababa, central Ethiopia

Hock said...

Bill is funny as usual but I had to laugh as a pro-gun supporter and pro-animal rights supporter (yeah I'm a normal person..not a steriotype of either side) at the backwards thinking of some of the comments made by Bill and his anti-gun supporters. On one hand Bill was talking about the killer whale incident as well as the Steve Irwin incident..and I agree.. don't fuck with wild animals.. they have the right to defend themselves if they feel threatened.. but on the other side he doesn't feel the same way about his fellow man being able to protect themselves. I'm not talking about shitbag criminal.. but simple law abiding citizens who want to protect their familys. We fear what we don't understand.

Hayseed Shields said...

Richard Haas is a good guy & the CFR isn't fronting for ELITE special interests? Bill, if the MOSAD is so excellent then they wouldn't have been so sloppy. Either they didn't do it or they didn't feel the need to hide it.

HAK said...

Dear Mr. Maher,

Why you do not invite someone having views opposite to yours? I might be not the smartest one, but fun is guaranteed.

We can talk about health care for example,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/henryk-a-kowalczyk/a-better-approach-to-heal_b_440262.html

Thanks,

Henryk A, Kowalczyk
www.henrykkowalczyk.com

A-typical Athiest said...

Have you seen the article on CNN.com today?

"... on average, people who identified as liberal and atheist had higher IQs."

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/26/liberals.atheists.sex.intelligence/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Anonymous said...

yup & on average people with higher IQs are more creative in bed & have more partners. Unlike ignorance it takes a lot of practice.

CNN just figured this out? I have always felt that this is the best sales pitch for education, ever.

Stay in school, the sex is better and the parade is longer!

Anonymous said...

Bill,

We do have the best health care system in the world, it's based on the profit motive. We pay money to an insurance company, betting that someday we'll get sick and need the care of a doctor and maybe a hospital stay. The insurance company takes our money betting that when we do get sick, they can somehow fuck us out of the benefits that we thought were covered. What's wrong with that?

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jez said...

is this the real time..... all i can say is I am a thirtyfive year old female who loves you and what you stand for, at least I think..... you could be a dink in real life....as empty as everything else is in this world that we call AMERICA. Even though I am from the smartest of the land... new england of course... I am not proud of my country... the best thing that we have is the freedom of speech and people like you....so if you want to say fuck you to the world, which is about to be water world anyway..then join me for shots of jagger, and you can argue this out with the youth( me at thirtyfive, and hot as hell btw).....

jez said...

is this the real time..... all i can say is I am a thirtyfive year old female who loves you and what you stand for, at least I think..... you could be a dink in real life....as empty as everything else is in this world that we call AMERICA. Even though I am from the smartest of the land... new england of course... I am not proud of my country... the best thing that we have is the freedom of speech and people like you....so if you want to say fuck you to the world, which is about to be water world anyway..then join me for shots of jagger, and you can argue this out with the youth( me at thirtyfive, and hot as hell btw).....

tony said...

Why is it that conservatives and republican alike can't seem to quote their "facts" accurately? During the discussion about healthcare when the panel was talking about where the US ranked in world healthcare systems, Mr. Salam make a quick comment that Singapore was number 1 and they were all private. WRONG. First they are number 6 and they are not private. Not they way he was alluding to. They have universal healthcare and the government controls the cost and makes sure everyone gets covered. Yes the insurance companies are private companies but they are regulated by the government. In fact the only country that really has anything close to total government controlled healthcare is Britain. However the private sector still does handle a lot of logistics. Heck even Medicare isn’t completely government controlled. Blue Cross, I think, handles all of the billing and charges a 3-5% charge to do it.

Anonymous said...

Bill,

I watched your show last night and was happy you mention about the Toyota mess. Can you find out if the dysfunctional accellerator part was subcontracted out to an American company and manufactured in a plant in the great state of Indiana. Does Japan use the same part on cars in their country? I am curious if Toyota cars in America are made by Americans for Americans. I think that is worth looking into.

Imran said...

To add to Tony's comment, below my post is a link to a description of the Singapore health system. It is definitely not a purely free market system as Mr. Salam was implying. In fact try implementing some of these principals (i.e. mandatory saving of employment income towards a health savings account) in America and they'll be looking for a word more left than socialist to call Obama!

http://www.moh.gov.sg/mohcorp/hcfinancing.aspx

Anonymous said...

Get the ax Michelle, we're going to kill the goose.

US government rescinds 'leave internet alone' policy

Greg said...

Man i hate you dumbacrates!!!!!!
and Bill sucks bigtime

Dean said...

debate as the Empire burns.....

tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tony said...

Greg,
Really? That's it? Just hatred? I guess that's typical from the conservative side. No logic or reason, which can be supported with legitimate facts or evidence, to back up your opinion, just hatred.

Mickfo said...

Jeez, would somebody shut that bitch up for a half second please (not the House chick).

Geoffrey M Hurlburt said...

Bill....may I be on your show to discuss my core campaign issue. Go to www.ncsenate14.org for contact info. $2 Bill Moneybomb currently happening. Thomas Jefferson Liberty. Everybody has $2 in America. Support children's equal access. Go now! www.ncsenate14.org

SerpentMage said...

Dear Bill,

I am tired of your draconian analness of not allowing non-USA viewers to view your content. I would like to watch your show, but of all the shows produced in the US you sir are the most draconian. If a show is on Youtube you smash it down. You don't have links on your website, or anywhere else. Take a lesson from Keith Olbermann, or John Stewart...

Anonymous said...

Bill,

John McCain was strapped with that Democrat saboteur. I still like him. voted for him for his 1st congressional seat in 1988. if not for high crimes and treason he should have been president in 2000.

Too bad for us it turned out differently.

No new posts?

Plisskin said...

Here is a great healthcare video from 1983

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuOmsGXznHU

Back then the Republican plan was: bleed you til the insurance runs out. The plan for sots like me was, bill the richers

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Except for then a pound of coke cost $500, now a month's prescription for Zantac costs that much.

Lobbyist Asscraft said...

Ah yes 1983 was a grand year. Why, I recall I got the usurper George Bush to pass Asspartme to the market that year, and to remove the warning labels.

You see, this synthetic sweetener makes people who drink it stupid. But, it was an improvement over the others, which just give people cancer.

I really do wish science would just slow down. They weren't supposed to figure that out until after I was dead.

Plisskin said...

A month's supply of Zantac, with the label peeled off: $500

A hooker for the weekend: $500

I don't want your health care. Everyone dies, much to my satisfaction Henry Kissinger is on the reaper's list. Cause: natural, apart from consequences of the reptile parasite in his skull.

Just let me say Henry, the world will be a better place without you.

John Shirey said...

Bill and his guests continually hold up Europe as the model for public health care.

I'm an American living in Europe for over six years now.

Health care here is NOT what you read on the box.

The question Bill & co should ask is:
If public health care in Europe is so good, why are Europeans also taking out private health insurance?

Indeed, in virtually all EU countries, people find they get better care under private insurance programs.

I know I do.

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill, I'm one of those REDNECKS in TEXAS you spoke about in the commentary on your show last night. You use the F-Bomb the B-word along with several other words we Rednecks don't use in any conversation with anyone we speak with. Do me a favor, why don't you debate your thoughts with Bill or Rush or Sean? You scared? I don't think you have the intellect to compete, now do you? I can't wait to see your weak response.

Anonymous said...

"Debating" with any of these Fixed News shills is exactly the same as beating your head against the hood of a cops' car. Debating is something prelaw students do. If you want to see a debate, sit in on a trial where someone's life is at stake. Then you'll look at the bullshit Fixed News and the RNC call a debate and say, "This is bullshit!"

Because thats all it is. Its all bullshit, folks.

Anonymous said...

Not everyone in Texas is a redneck. I liked the people of Crawford, Texas in the movie "Crawford". You might enjoy it. Don't miss the symbolism in the final scene, there are some clever folk in Crawford.

Anonymous said...

Could you ask one of the Chinese team members who found Noah's Ark to be on your show ?

http://www.noahsarksearch.net/eng/

Carlos said...

Hello Bill, how are you?! Hope you're fine!

I hope you can read this message, I imagine that you receive too many, and you're a very busy man, it was not easy to find a way to contact you!

I'm your #1 fan in Brazil, I just love your comedy acts, and your very intelligent, sarcastic criticism!

Yet I'm writing this letter to you to give youa a suggestion that, in my opinion, would be of great value to the atheist/secular comunity, and a big blow to the absurd faith of Christians, especially Americans and Brazilians (that are "flour the same brush ").

It is proposed that you invite William Lane Craig for a TV-network debate!

You see, Craig is currently the number one hero of the Christians! He is that guy who asked Richard Dawkins to debate, but Richard declined many times (claiming Craig was not important).

In fact Craig is a professional debater and highly misleading, he can at times say things that even when we know they are not true, it strikes and cuts the opponent's reasoning.

I believe that debate with him would not be as simple as mock Christianity (Although some irony is always timely and comic), but you would require a little research and studies on the arguments he uses, and which arguments hits him. (I know them and I can anticipate some of your work, if you like! )

I, as an atheist, would love to see this lies promoter being humbled by an amazing debater and thinker like you. I do not think there is someone more appropriate.
I saw him to debate with Christopher Hitchens, and it was not productive to Hitchens, thats has been so lazy as an apartment's apartment!

Sam Harris would be a good opponent for Craig as he is very clear on his arguments, but I think he is too much nice, even nicer that Dawkins, so he can't give to Craig what he deserves.

Than I think the ONLY PERSON who could really bring down the house of Craig doing it through a historical grievance would be YOU! You're the man!
Nobody could be more appropriate, what I think, creates some responsibility...

I do not want to extend too much, I just let my congratulations and wish you a long long heath life, I know you from many years and consider you a intellectual hero, especially for yours irreverent way of addressing the issues that our hypocritical society pretends not to see!

Thank very much, and if you want to respond, you can write to carloszarref at gmail dot com.
Goodbye!

Carlos
Brazil

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Greg,
Really? That's it? Just hatred? I guess that's typical from the conservative side. No logic or reason, which can be supported with legitimate facts or evidence, to back up your opinion, just hatred.

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