Friday, October 15, 2010

New Rule: If a Woman Rejects Your First Dozen Advances...

New Rule: If a Woman Rejects Your First Dozen Advances, Don't Send Her a Picture of Your Penis

New Rule: If a woman rejects your first dozen advances, don't up the ante by sending her a picture of your penis. This week, we found out that Vikings quarterback Brett Favre allegedly tried to get with a young woman by sending her MySpace messages, voicemails, and notes through a friend, and when none of that worked, and it was third and long -- though, not as long as most of us would have imagined -- he decided to throw the Hail Mary and sext her pictures of Little Brett to close the deal. Brett, I get it: Your dictionary doesn't include the word "quit" or "retire" or "married" but you've got to at least understand "punt." You know the worst part about having sex with Brett Favre? He keeps saying he's finished, and then he comes back to drag it out for another year.

To me, this story isn't about sports or sex or how necessary caller ID is -- it's about how pathetic and clueless white American males have become. Because the kind of guy who thinks there are women out there who just, cold, want to see your cock, is the same kind of guy who thinks Sarah Palin is swell and tax cuts pay for themselves. I will explain that connection further, but first let's just dwell for one more moment on how stupid it is to forget that in 2010 when you text someone a picture of your genitals, you're not just sending it to that person, but to every person she has in her contacts... and then everyone on the planet who has access to the Internet. Somewhere right now there's a tribesman in Samoa thinking, "Brett Favre is texting a picture of his dick to a woman? That shit never works."

And he's right -- no woman in the history of mankind has ever wanted to see a picture of a penis. Go back to the earliest cave paintings. The very first one is of a cock, and after that they're all antelopes and sunrises. But for some reason men persist. Why? Because men have always been in charge, especially white men. Brett Favre is like a lot of white males: he's owned the world for so long, he's going a little crazy now that he doesn't. Also, like many white men across the country, he lost his job to a Mexican, (i.e. Jets Quarterback Mark Sanchez).

If Brett Favre's penis could talk, what would it say? Well, other than, "No photos please," I think it would say, "I'm not a witch. I'm you." Because for hundreds of years white penises were America. White penises founded America, they made the rules and they called the shots in the workplace, in the home, and at the ballot box. But now the unthinkable is happening. White penises are becoming the minority: 2010 was the first year in which more minority babies were born in the U.S. than white babies. This is what conservatives are really upset about -- that the president is black, and the best golfer is black, and the Secretary of State is a woman, and suddenly this country is way off track and needs some serious 'restoring.' If penises could cry -- and I believe they can -- then white penises are crying all over America.

And that's where this crew comes in; Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, Michele Bachmann; the lovely MILFs of the new right. And their little secret is that their popularity comes exclusively from white men. Look at the polling: minorities hate them, women hate them -- only white men like them. I'm no psychiatrist, but I do own a couch, and my theory is that these women represent something those men miss dearly: the traditional, idiot housewife. Writing on your hand is sheer Lucy. If an election between Obama and Sarah Palin were held today, and only white men could vote, Sarah Palin would be president. Did you know that in 1788, when there were four million people in America, only 39,000 of them -- the richest white men -- got to vote? That doesn't sound good to you? Well, what if I threw in a picture of my cock? Which brings me back to Brett Favre, and I think it's worth noting that in one of the alleged photos of him, he's pleasuring himself on a bed while wearing Crocs. And if you think about it, is there any better metaphor for the sad state of America today than an over-the-hill white guy lazily masturbating in plastic shoes?


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103 comments:

sara said...

Astute & sassy...but even more crucial-- you have stopped flailing around when the strident tighty righties use repetition as if that made their emotional simplifications factual.
The Wall Street Journal guy was exactly the right antidote to the Tea Party blather. Most of us know the needless war in Iraq has cost a trillion....yet she kept 'on point' - probably insisting she meant THIS year's war cost or some other obfuscating spin. They find a way to dice reality to support their certainty.
I only wish someone could hav e pointed out to Ms. MILF that when she bemoaned those poor parents who failed to adequately promote their kids' education - ready to spend money on sports tickets (but not...books ?)- she was talking about the anti-tax mob she is in. Ready to pay millions for swiftboating ads but resentful of inheritance tax--on principle ! Like Palladino-- principles are waved only when convenient. Only a Tea Party mind would cite the psychotic shooter in the Jewish D.C. center as an environmentalist. Egad.
Also- they all gloss over the sad truth about public schools.Legend tells us Charters can shine- but these schools leave the special ed, disabled, autistic spectrum, children of alcoholics and others in the public sector where unfunded mandates demand 'equal' educational opportunity to all kids. It may be less 'poverty' and more brain deficits that are jamming public education and making charters look golden.
Will anyone dare suggest a 'european-style' return to early tracking of some kids into trade schools ?
But all in all- better clarity this week.

Anonymous said...

Sara , you are sooo right - comments made by the Conservative Right , the Christian Right &/or the Tea Party Right tend to be repeatedly repetative and repeatedly refer to the welfare of the people . The following is a quote by Albert Camus which should be underlined & highlighted in response . " The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants , and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience " .

Cairo said...

Hi, I just got done watching your show and I wanted to comment real quick about the oil and coal thing. You said that we get electricity from oil which wasn't necessarily true but there is no way in well we could mine coal without it. I think once people realise that when oil goes, our economy goes, then I think they will know why we really went to war and why we will continue to go to wars. All the super powers are placing their bets on countries to protect their oil by providing them with massive weapons deals to fuel the super power proxy wars. Our society will not get better, it will get worse as long as we have no coal and oil alternative. I talk about it on my blog. Anyone can check it out.

Anonymous said...

Sara all the apprenticeship programs sponsored by industry were cancelled after the socialists imposed the minimum wag, starting the 'no brakes' inflationary spiral & making US wages so attractive to currency exchangers in 3rd world economies that have no such delusional policies. Business did it well. It cost us millions to get the state to host terrible trade school are just training for prison, with furloughs for good behavior.

Get rid of the bureaucratic parasites! No big government!

Anonymous said...

Ummm...huh?

upsideofinertia said...

Spot on. This is the most lucid analysis of the American politics in a long time.

Tom HIghley said...

The debate about diminishing white control in the U.S. brings us back to the issue of education. Again, the issue is one of power and politics. The dominant literacy in schools has reflected the values of those of white, European decent for years, and, as you point out, the children from that group do well academically. But as our marginalized groups come to the forefront, there is a cultural disconnect between the literacies valued by these groups and the literacy of the academic complex.

This takes the crisis beyond the individual classroom and puts it into he institutional structures of our school systems. Valuing and integrating the diverse backgrounds of these marginalized groups into our school structures is foundational to success for all students. Although the dominant White literacy is still the literacy of access, we cannot devalue a culture and expect representative students to buy in.

The theorist James Gee explores the issues of discourses of power in his New Literacy Studies. He would make a great guest on your show.

Anonymous said...

Being a fellow atheist, I can't thank god for Bill Maher. So I'll just thank Bill personally for being clear voice in the fog........

Mark Stamaty said...

Dana Loesch made a ridiculous statement on the October 15th show that got past Bill and everybody.
When Bill asked her if we should cut Medicare to help balance the budget, Dana Loesch said Medicare is bankrupt so what is there to cut.
The answer that Bill should have given her is that what there would be to cut is the borrowed money we're spending to keep Medicare afloat. Her statement had SOUNDED LIKE it made sense but it made no sense at all. And I say: BILL! PAY ATTENTION! You missed this one!

Dionysus said...

After the 3rd rebuff you are begging.

If you have a gargantuan tool sending a picture of it to the subject of your lust does often work. You will score. if she don't want it she'll definitely show this to all her friends, who will soon all be your friends. Be sure to include something in the photo to provide scale. If you aren't hung, don't bother.

Catherine the Great said...

Congress demonstrating their lack of understanding their job & stupidity, your tax dollars not having a good time w/o you OR Why Catherine the Great Never Visited America

Anonymous said...

Bill

I hope you are being sarcastic, because this article takes the side of favoring increased pussification, which I distinctly recall you previously decrying without recourse. The jock showed the girl his cock. Instead of recognizing him as the dominant male in her codomain of prospective mates she opted to root for coin. Stupid girl, bad call, end of story.

Sex is healthy, anyone who interferes is evil. This is what I have against both religion and government. Keep your neurotic dysfunctions to yourselves, people.

Bill, can you get a Jewish psychiatrist to profile Mohammad? The media should be objective and encourage transparency...

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill, I know you are trying to be sensitive to poor people so I thought you should know that $40,000 is NOT an average price for a car for the average income family.

Anonymous said...

This New Rule transformed my assumptions about you. It was one of the most brilliantly feminist statements about the status quo that I have ever witnessed. Thank you so much.

Anonymous said...

Bill,

The middle class is being demolished & the same rich, mostly 'white' families are still in charge. Just to clear that fact up for you.

You're losing it, dude.

Anonymous said...

Note to future researchers: this is poorly propaganda.

Anonymous said...

Bill ... I think the Rev. Jeremiah Wright would have done a much better job of advocating for the poor , dispossessed & marginalized than the Rev . Al Sharpton . I would suggest also , that he should be resurrected & hired by the Democratic party to address the concerns of the aforementioned and to vigoursly protest the spending of trillions of tax dollars on useless & wasteful wars in the Middle East & Afghanistan .

Anonymous said...

...Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, Michele Bachmann ...MILFs ...minorities hate them, women hate them -- only white men like them ...my theory is that these women represent something those men miss dearly: the traditional, idiot housewife.

Boy, that sounds like pure Glen Beck, O'Reilly or Rush. They all love to use the word 'idiotic' too. You've really sunk Bill, to vacuous character attacks instead of issues. At least you haven't released serial killers & rapists onto the unsuspecting population, as have Mike Huckabee & Barack Obama. Huckabee did it out of lie in the sky ignorant liberalism, Obama is doing it intentionally.

WAKE UP!

Anonymous said...

List of Bill Maher's illegal immigrant friends & their exploits which the mainstream media somehow overlooks:

Ohio Jobs & Justice PAC: List of victims of illegal aliens

Close the border, eject the foreign criminals!

Anonymous said...

Bill Maher might be funny as a comedian, but a scary political force! He has got a filthy mind and mouth. Oh and by the way I stay at home with my kids - even though I am a nurse. So am I the "traditional idiot housewife"?!
You are a special guy there Bill! I feel sorry for any woman or man that has to be with you!

The Great White Penis said...

Bill that thing between your legs isn't a birth defect, thats a ...white penis. If its more than a handful, you can thank your Irish daddy.

In 2 years Michelle is still going to be blaming white people for Obama's failure. Barack is going to have to listen to this for the rest of his life.

=))

I give you proof of karma!

Anonymous said...

Who is that Sara who wrote the first comment? I want to vote for her for some kind of office! Any kind of office.

As for the anonymous nurse who chooses to stay at home with the the kids. Hmm, well, your life choices wouldn't put you in the "traditional idiot housewife" category, but the rest of your comment would at least get you nominated for consideration.

Anonymous said...

How about Sara gets the commission only job of creating industrial jobs? Or transforming her only good for trade school dregs to become the mechanical & electrical engineers that modern manufacturing industry requires?

Motherhood is still the most unappreciated job. Ask William H. Gates II. If you think a stay at home mom is not equal to any woman who bought into the great lie, you must have been raised by the state, in a kibbutz or boarding school. You poor Ted Bundy motherfucker.

Anonymous said...

OMG - how funny! I'm the person who made the comment about voting for Sara for office - and I''m a working mother who went to public school, a WASP actually, and had a son who (against my wishes) went into the Army and fought into Iraq! You need to seriously reconsider your stereotyping. A Ted Bundy who went to a kibbutz (?sp) or private school? HAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

And one more thing, to the guy (girl?) who made the Ted Bundy comment- if you actually read and processed my comment, you'd see that I clearly said that the woman's choice to be stay at home did NOT qualify her as an "idiot housewife." Read the comment again. See?

But you, on the other hand, choose to devalue and insult people who work in the trade professions. Shame on you!

Anonymous said...

As for Brett Favre - EPIC FAIL, DUDE! Bill is RIGHT on target. I am going out on a limb here, to speak for all (or at least most) women, when I say that we are NOT interested or turned on by a picture of some dude's winky. Even if it's a long winky. Trust me on this one. In an intimate situation we like them, of course, but we don't want to look at a picture of them! We're just not that into staring at them.

Anonymous said...

Here ya go, mom. Enjoy!

My Dick - Mickey Avalon. That was last year, prolly wore it out & fell off by now.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, but I don't think I'll check out your link. Remember, women don't really like to LOOK at winkies. ;)

Anonymous said...

But you go ahead and enjoy without me. ;)

Anton said...

Regarding the Tea Party, and conservatives in general, I think the point that needs to be really emphasized, is that their so-called "states rights" and libertarian small government message is bullshit. Are any of them speaking up against federal enforcement of marijuana law--which is being threatened to be in effect even if California legalizes? Tea Conservatives are just social conservatives with funny hats and don't know who they're voting for.

Anonymous said...

Now now mom, I didn't just fall off the halftrack. Genesis & Jung say you already did look; daughter of Eve, how could you not?

Anonymous said...

Wow, so you're a misogynist, as well as anti-mother, and JPS. And you're a failed psychic, too, LOL. Actually, I looked up the object of your affection on wiki, and decided not to watch. Apparently you watched whatever it was, and enjoyed it, though!

Anonymous said...

Unlike you, dear sir (and I can safely assume you are a sad example of a male, based on your pathetic attempt at insult with your 'daughter of Eve' comment) I actually have some self-control, LOL.

Anonymous said...

To Misogynist Man: don't ever confuse your own lack of discipline and self-control with that of others. The reality is that some people ARE better at these than others. ;)

Anonymous said...

(Gee, I hope he doesn't go off and rape somebody in his rage. But that would only prove how WEAK he is.)

Anonymous said...

Young men: read this, study it, remember! She can't delete it, its there until Bill takes it down. Show it to your father, talk it over. Fathers, show it to your sons to teach them.

I didn't bring that out, it was just there. What you see here is something all women have in common, that they won't show you, not until its too late. Thats some poor shlub's wife. If she vents this furious on innocent little old moi, who she doesn't know at all, you can imagine what this guy has to deal with. Every hottie is a witch! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!

Your options include vasectomy, celibacy, addiction to hardcore drugs, pioneer astronaut, volunteering for terminal experimentation and homosexuality. Looks like homosexuality turns out the same, so I don't think thats a good idea. You can't ask gay guys either, they'll lie! Vasectomy is a double win because face it, having kids is a drag. If you think you might want to experience this suffering yourself, you can always get your sperm frozen before you snip & tie.

Snip & tie! Snip & tie! Snip & tie!

Anonymous said...

I am a white older lady-married to a white older man-and these comments are incredibly accurate. In my job, I often have to "direct" older white man to follow certain direction and I am often met with anger/resentment and just plain stupidity. The MOST entitled group in the US are the 65 plus white guys- who ruled the world for years and now have seen their power (hooray) diminished. I married one of these types and his mentality is that of a dinosaur. I am happy that minorities-women-have increased freedom to challenge the thinking of these tea bagger clods. So you fought in Korea---AND THEN WHAT? Uh...nothing. They think "supporting" the war now means just sticking some dopey yellow ribbon magnetic sticker on the Cadillac. Guess what? There was a draft during the Korean war...would these goons volunteer? I doubt it. Now retired and on big fat pensions-medicare- whining and demanding more. Many are out of shape-too fat to walk-so they move in wheelchairs -ie..the motorized kind. I see it every day where I work. These men STILL think they rule the planet. Guess what old geezers? You don't.

Anonymous said...

All you have to do to change your world is change your mind.

What you see is what you can get.

Some assembly required. Instructions are: make it up as you go. Thats all the instructions you get.

Have fun.

Anonymous said...

...is there any better metaphor for the sad state of America today than an over-the-hill white guy lazily masturbating in plastic shoes?

Slow weekend at Bill's. If he's not getting any, no one is! Bankrupt the nation and destroy the middle classes, make everyone poor! Fuck them all!

wera said...

I am a white older lady-married to a white older man-and these comments are incredibly accurate.

What a lie. Poser!

AMERIKANISCH said...

I watch Maher regularly. Between him and O'Reilly, I am not sure which one is the most smug and self-confident.
Maher is obessed with white people- and especially white men. I thought we were supposed to be living in a color-blind society with the election of Obama, but I can see the racial division is just getting worse.
It seems that Obama is not color-blind after all and failure to prosecute the black panthers' intimidation at the polls (yeah, I know it was not a major deal but it WAS for appearance sake and you can bet if it had been the KKK, it would have been a different story) and his eagerness to insert himself into the deal with the black professor and the police just point this up.
I don't think that whites fear non-whites per se. I think they fear more takers and less makers and this administration seems intent on growing the takers at the expense of the makers.
Let's stop the racist crap and start making jobs. We can start by taxing the corporations that offshore our jobs rather than going after small business owners who create jobs. We can also raise taxes on the Wall Street fat cats who drained us dry with the bail-outs.

AMERIKANISCH said...

Anton,

The Tea Party is not all social conservatives. I am a social moderate-liberal and a fiscal conservative. For instance, I do not like abortion, but I am pro-choice. That is between the woman and her conscience.
Unfortunately social liberalsm amd fiscal irresonsibility tend to go together, but I am an exception. I will stay out of your wallet AND your bedroom and, in my opinion, that is the best of ALL possible worlds.
By the way, Bill Maher is not a libertarian. There is not a libertarian alive who wants a huge Nanny State like Maher wants.

AMERIKANISCH said...

There's another thing that bugs me about Maher besides his smug attitude. Or should I say, illustrates another grand example of his smug attitude:
Maher chortled that "Joe The Plumber" -this loser- (in Maher's mind) thought he would one day own his own plumbing business and thus be highly taxed.

This was quite a joke in Maher's mind -ha, ha, ha!

To Maher, only HE (Maher) is talented or bright enough to make it- so why bother? Go for the government hand-out- YOU LOSERS!

Well, Mr. Maher. I may not have my own TV show but I have done pretty well- easily in the upper 5%- and I did it starting with NOTHING and WITHOUT government hand-outs. So screw you and the jack ass you rode in on.
Yes, you don't have to be Bill Maher to make it in this country.
So don't be so anxious to pull up the ladder just quite yet.

psychodoodle said...

*thumbs up* :)

Anonymous said...

Hollywood: complete shit for brains. More toxic than genetically modified germs, worse for your kids than daily happy meals. Side effects include stupidity, obesity, heart disease, low self image, low testosterone, depression, anorexia, bolemia, alcoholism, low sperm count, impaired social skills, codependent behavior, absent parent syndrome.

You aren't teaching anyone anything Bill. In fact I don't recall ever seeing George Carlin backstep, waffle & ignore the relevant topics of his day. Your state approved diatribe is just as vacuous as soviet state approved humor.

'Social Libertarian' is a bogus term probably made up by famous anarchist Noam Chomsky, who also happens to be collecting his paycheck from the state. What a bright light. Dr. Stadler, I presume? As far as I can tell a 'social libertarian' is code for extreme fascist - just like Islam.

Bill Maher = Peter Keating. P4wnd!

fan said...

News Bulletin: The NFL has purchased HBO; HBO is cancelled and will be replaced by NFL TV.

I would love to see a half dozen linebackers visit Bill Maher @ work... fuck politics, these guy get it done!

Anonymous said...

Real Women don't watch Bill Maher:

http://fxn.ws/RealWomen

Brett Favre is a slave to his penis and a first class cretin, and we don't care for people like you, either. You're a blowhard. No pun intended. (But there it is anyway)

Lisa M. said...

After viewing your program on October 15, a few comments about education:
The United States attempts to educate every single child, regardless of social status, poverty level, race, religion or intellectual ability. This is going to put us behind the countries who track students early on to be either more or less highly educated based on their abilities, or who draw their students from only one race or religious background (Japan is a good example of this). We lump everyone together and test equally. If we get what appear to be poorer results, then some allowance should be made for the inclusion of a wide variety of students, as this has got to have some bearing on the test results.
Teachers must be held accountable for what occurs in their classrooms, but if you do not wish to pay them more for the hard work they do then please consider putting money into the hiring of additional teachers so that class sizes can be brought down to a manageable size. This allows teachers to do more for each child as well as for the class as a whole.
Teachers do go into the profession with the best of intentions - they want to help children learn. I was a teacher for 30 years and in that time I knew of a handful of teachers who should not have been in a classroom, but the majority were dedicated, caring individuals who wanted the best for the children in their care. As a society, we do not honor these people adequately and I would like to see that change.

Anonymous said...

Thats all good Lisa but if you examine the money flows its obvious that the oligarchs want clear unchallenged control & hereditary title: they want eloi. You're going to have to train your own army.

Nancy Bean Foster said...

I just wrote about this topic after visiting Craig's List. And for the record, even gay men think penis pics are gross...

http://nancibeanification.com/2010/07/23/your-own-personal-penis/

Anonymous said...

Xenocentrism is the preference for the products, styles, or ideas of someone else's culture rather than of one's own. Xenophobia can also be exhibited in the form of an "uncritical exaltation of another culture" in which a culture is ascribed "an unreal, stereotyped and exotic quality".

You can get a shrink from UCLA but I think Woody Allen would be much more fun to hang with.

e e cummings said...

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

Anonymous said...

Bill,

You are a voice of reason in a time when people aren't reasonable.

Anonymous said...

Im afraid Bill is at it again and the zombies follow him in adulation. Facts Bill not inuendo. The NFL is investigationg the tit for tat with Brett and the young lady. It would be a hoot if she was as guilty as he is? But again dont let facts dissuade you from innuendo. White men once had the exclusive vote? Sorry Bill you flunk history. It was only property owners who had a vote in the new republic called the USA. Why because they were racists? Wrong again Bill The founding fathers felt that if you didnt have skin in the game you didnt get to participate in the new republic. White men who did not own property did NOT get to vote either Bill. All men got the vote about 20 or 30 years before women did. So you get a F Bill. But dont let the facts keep you from your racist accusations. Is that all the left has left? Pun intended...

Isoroku Yamamoto said...

I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.

Anonymous said...

Bill,
I have a request. Can you please explain in your show what would have happened to the "poor" and "middle" class people had they not done the stimulus and the bank bail outs. Since the Democrats can't seem to explain it themselves and none of the news organizations want to talk about it. The tea partiers just say it was too much spending and the Republicans want to completely ignore it altogether. Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Lisa M ... your letter was gracious & enlightening and really exemplifies the best qualities of our best teachers . It fails to explain , however , why sooo many of our " most educated " graduates are responsible for causing the most serious problems for humanity & our ecosystems ... MBAs causing our socioeconomic distresses - engineers causing pollution of our air , water & oceans - doctors , more interested in their incomes than patient care - lawers causing stresses & distresses socially & politically - and on & on & on ... Maybe we ought to look at deschooling society ( as Ivan Illich , 1971 , suggests ) as a functional way to improve education and its contributions to society as a whole .

Anonymous said...

Stick your stupid comments about Favre where the sun don't shine. You don't have proof of anything, just a typical scumbag trying to get an audience off someone elses life, pretty pathetic if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

To anonymous who asks why the "most educated" engage in selfish, sociopathic behavior - "MBAs causing our socioeconomic distresses - engineers causing pollution of our air , water & oceans - doctors , more interested in their incomes than patient care - lawers causing stresses & distresses socially & politically..." the answer is not the amount of education, it is the lack of education directed toward creating empathy, a sense of responsibility to others humans around the world, and to the world environment itself. There are estimates that up to 10% of the population may have sociopathic tendencies - they are incapable of feeling or caring about others, and are only interested in their own benefit. The Ayn Rand attitude of our society brings out the worse in these sociopaths, and justifies and encourages their behavior. Our society would benefit from NOT rewarding and glorifying selfishness and lack of care toward others and the world.

Ragnar Danneskjöld said...

You should read Ayn Rand and practice independent thinking before you attempt to use her ideology in argument. Your unsubstantiated assertion is that motivated self interest is the root cause of social dysfunction? Convince me.

Greg Carlson said...

Fact: The Constitution says absolutely nothing about the separation of church and state. In truth, the Founding Fathers actually wanted all citizens to pay hommage to the Aqua Buddha. Anyone who reads the Constitution would know this.

Anonymous said...

Yea but the Aqua Buddha died. Everyone knows the Church of the 2nd Bab is the real deal. Babiist or die!

Anonymous said...

Mahr your an idiot, the founding fathers never wrote word one about separation of chruch and state do your research moron before you talk shit about o'donnell, you are the moron who knows nothing about the Constitution, you liberal ass.

Anonymous said...

An idiot is someone who can be connected to the internet and still be ignorant.

In 15 sec from wiki, Separation of church and state in the United States:

The First Amendment to the United States Constitution reads "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

"the phrase 'separation of church and state' is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson..."

Help yourself to the public humiliation!

Tyrone Harvey said...

Bill Maher of "Real Time With Bill Maher" made a racist and truly disrespectful statement that I think if he knew the true facts of his statement. He would have never said something so untrue and racist! Mr. Maher on his show stated that" the problem is poverty when it comes to low school scores"so he suggest that just take minorities out of the equation! Had Mr. Maher just did a little research he would have found out that 61% of all people that live in poverty are WHITE! I like Mr. Maher and look at his show every Friday but like many white pundits and TV host. They don't do research or think before that speak! Mr. Maher should apologize and research his statements that insults an entire race of people!

Anonymous said...

you Mr.Maher are not very bright when it comes to right and wrong. To make a stupid comment about anti Obama people, liking them to abused woman who go back to their abusers is about as illiterate as saying you know whats going on in the world. Sorry if "we the people" like the pre Obama era, when we actually had hope for a change that didn't include destroying this country that you so seem to enjoy! MORON !

Anonymous said...

Obama staunchly opposes Prop 19.

State & Federal governments have spent over 40 billion so far just this year alone orchestrating their 'war on drugs' - and that doesn't count the profits from the smuggling and distribution operations.
Millions of lives destroyed, about 10,000 more than the drugs alone would have if there were no 'war on drugs'. And thats not counting people killed by pharmaceuticals.

40 billion reasons to not serve the will of the people, including Bill Maher.

Eric Palmieri (Master Kushikimi-San) said...

Bill, I have been watching you since I was twelve years old if you can believe that. I loved the Politically Incorrect show and of course watch Real Time every week. You are a very important inspiration to me. I run a website called Ninja Satire, and tomorrow at 7:30 AM EST I will be posting a satirical article about Christine O'Donnell that I think you will appreciate. You're the best Bill!

Anonymous said...

2000 census reprots that white non-hispanic Americans are not the wealthiest demographic, that jewish Americans are. Maybe you shouldn't have brought this up Bill... the cheap racists who don't give back are not white people? Whoops!

Anonymous said...

I now remember why I don't "tune" into Bill's rantings. Sadly, Bill wasn't a bit humiliated by his lack of class when comfortably using hate speech such as "Tea Baggers", but would never consider using the "N" word! Hate is hate and never should be tolerated, even if you are white and feeling guilty such as Bill. Bill's show is a platform for hate towards much of "middle America".

Anonymous said...

Why does Bill attribute all of society's problems to the "white male"! Perhaps Bill is constantly rejected by "white male" friends? (Would explain the obvious dislike of "self".) Nonetheless, as Bill stated, soon the "white male" will be the minority. Consequently, all our problems will be solved. Your platform is full of negativity ... who wants to watch that!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s1TjcZFzoc

Anonymous said...

http://www.drugsense.org/cms/wodclock

Not Dr. Spock said...

This is for your own good. This is going to hurt me more than its going to hurt you.

Anonymous said...

Missy Smith campaign ads are disgusting and I hope Bill brings her to the forefront of "crazies" running for office. Watching TV at 4:00 in the afternoon on Channel 7 in Washington DC and next thing I know she is preaching Pro Life and shows pictures of aborted dead babies. While these bodies are being shown the background talks about Pelosi and others being Baby killers with these images streaming. She is running in DC please let her campaign know this is disgusting and disturbing beyond all. You can't cuss on daytime TV but dead baby ads can come on at anytime. Come on!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Here's good documentary about the drug problem and a preview of how banksters & corporate scum screw all Americans for a nickel:

American Drug War: The Last White Hope
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CyuBuT_7I4

RH said...

Sorry, no other forum to send in comments about the show: S.E.Cupp posted an article the other day claiming that Glenn Beck "educates" people because of teaching them about specifically Woodrow Wilson and a new book about Black labor in this country. To the writers on the show, this is just encoded racism: Woodrow Wilson was a nativist and a racist. He stated that DW Griffith's "Birth of a Nation" was "writing history with lightning." The book about blacks a labor she mentions is another racist code, it's pretending that blacks were kept down for economic, not racial, reasons and that the whites just pretended they were racist to save money. Give me a break. I'm "sure" that they also continued the ruse to deny blacks social mobility and refrained from lynching whites to make it really convincing. These are tired arguments that dress up ignorance as subversive intellectualism. This author knows what she is doing and is participating in this racist deception. Americans can't be troubled to actually learn about the Obama policies that have kept us from sliding further into Bush's depression. and now we are blamed for not dragging the country out of an 8 year hole in 1 year and 10 months. One more essential truth: Bush wars and Bush policies were engineered to bankrupt us, to sabotage the government so we would have to cut social programs and turn over power and eventually our freedoms to corporations and special interests.

parting shot: person above who calls "teabagger" hate speech: you're a terrible person. Go read a book and learn about what real hate speech is and what it does you overprivileged f.

Former Factory Worker said...

From: Rick Laviolette in response to this article.
( http://www.creators.com/opinion/pat-buchanan/tea-party-tory.html)

Republicans are to blame for 37 cents of every dollar we make, paying for past debt. Republicans have gone from thieves stealing our common wealth and creating this debtor nation to the lunatics now pounding at the doors of the Congress and Senate. These lunatics include a "Witch and Weekend Closet Nazi" which seems so appropriate so soon after Halloween. (There is one republican in Florida who pled the "5th" 79 times to 79 charges of Medicare fraud, running for governor of florida. It is the "state of ballot fraud" and Zeb Bush's old job.) Republicans have thrived with lies and deception resulting in a controlled chaos to keep getting re-elected in the name of Patriotism and God.
It appears that is not working anymore. The Tea Partiers are "following the money" and will turn off the taps as best they can. Unfortunately, it will cost America dearly and a factionalist government is pushing itself into place. Maybe they will be like France and start by beheading the royal families. Maybe you will be on the list Pat, for driving a foreign car to an autoworkers convention in Flint, Michigan, trying to get their votes and promising jobs during your run for office.
It seems you do nothing more than describe the symptoms of the problem. Is it because of your Pro Republican bias? Bias simply means that you vote Republican, no matter what a candidates qualifications, even if the other candidate is better. At least I bought into the ideas of Republicans in the past and actually voted for them at times, only to be disappointed. That is better than voting for them, knowing I will be disappointed. So what is the problem?
The problem is simple:
If you buy foreign products, you lose American jobs, never to return.
With 7,000,000 manufacturing jobs lost, no one can find employment.
Infusion of "tax free zones" for foreign manufacturers with less than 15% american labor in their product undermines the existing businesses that have to cheapen their products just to pay their taxes and compete.
(Veterans have no jobs to return to after fighting for your right to by products from the very people who shot them while the countries they defended end up on the taxpayer doles.)
The result is they cannot afford homes.
They buy food, clothes and try to survive.
Republicans want to cut their services (as well as everyone else's) to help them do this and promote more foreign expansion.
The U.S. GNP is less than 15% U.S. Labor and falling.
Besides, how can a witch in the political realm be worse than a President that cannot say "nuclear' or "terrorist"?
Maybe we'll name an aircraft carrier after her with the subtitle "Bewitched". They may shape it to look like a "Tea Pot"

Anonymous said...

What madness & insanity that the U.S. is giving $2 Billion in "aid" to the Pakistan military (NY Times , Oct. 22) whose units are killing unarmed civilian youths (same paper) , while next door in Haiti , a cholera epidemic is maiming & killing hundreds of women & children & the poor , who have virtually no access to suitable medical facilities or care (same paper) ... What an insensitive god , if there is one . . .

john adams said...

America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all.

Anonymous said...

http://votetaxcannabis2010.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-pro-pot-activists-oppose-2010-tax.html

Don't vote for stupid!

Opidiots said...

Agree with all of it, but can we start calling Tea Baggers what they really are since 'Tea Bagger' is a little too affectionate for what they really are? Plus, they've co-opted the term with all this "Teabaggie" (or Teabagee ... sp?) nonsense.

Might I suggest, Teajaculators.

See the following entries ... courtesy of Opidiots:

teajaculate verb (teajaculated; teajaculating)
- to grunt suddenly and vehemently at a political rally; usually : by a member of the Tea Party

teajaculation noun (pl.: teajaculations)
- an act of teajaculation; specifically : a sudden discharging of fluid out of the mouth of someone who identifies with the Tea Party
- something teajaculated; especially : a short sudden emotional grunt by someone who identifies with the Tea Party

teajaculator noun (pl.: teajaculators)
- one who teajaculates, or is prone to teajaculations - someone who attends Tea Party rallies, usually to grunt or spout politically charged epithets
- one who had the misfortune to be subjected to or produced by the inbreeding of the more radical elements of the Republican Party and the conservative movement
- any one of the following 'politicians': Glen Beck, Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, or Michele Bachman

Anonymous said...

Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers for Keeping Drugs Illegal


Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman Loera thanks US presidents for making him a billionaire.
Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman Loera reported head of the Sinaloa cartel in Mexico, ranked 701st on Forbes' yearly report of the wealthiest men alive, and worth an estimated $1 billion, today officially thanked United States politicians for making sure that drugs remain illegal.

"I couldn't have gotten so stinking rich without George Bush, George Bush Jr., Ronald Reagan, even El Presidente Obama, none of them have the cajones to stand up to all the big money that wants to keep this stuff illegal. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say, Gracias amigos, I owe my whole empire to you."

Terence McKenna said...

You may not have noticed, but in this society they’re not handing out rights. Ask black people! Ask the members of any sexual minority! They don’t hand out rights in this society. And we – meaning we psychedelic people, by and large, this isn’t always true but by and large we tend to be white and middle-class. A translation of those two terms into “gutless” would not be inappropriate. We have the most to lose; and so we’re not given to hurling ourselves into the breach or building barricades in the street to hurl our bodies against the machine. Nevertheless, if you don’t claim your political birthright, it will never be given to you; and black people and gay people and American Indians, Native Americans – all of these people have learned that you don’t go on bended knee to petition the official culture for your rights. You have to take them.

Terence McKenna said...

And people ask me, you know, how can you stand up and say the things you do? Why don’t they take you away? They don’t take me away because they’re more chicken-shit than you think! They’re more off balance than you think! They’re more uncertain of themselves than you think! The legitimacy of this point of view is established in their minds. The reason drugs are illegal and suppressed, and bla bla, is because you can make a shitload of money off them in that context. It’s a money issue. Do you think a loving government is trying to keep you from jumping out of third-floor windows and that’s why LSD is illegal?! – I mean, give me a break! – for crying out loud, if this government felt strongly enough about certain issues, all of us between 18 and 26 would be sent off to die for that policy decision; so the government is not interested in your health. The government is artificially interested in inflating the prices of certain substances in order to create a focus for clandestine money that is used then to destabilize unfriendly governments, murder labour union leaders, kill and blackmail the editors of left-wing newspapers, so forth and so on.

Terence McKenna said...

Drugs are enormous big business. But not the psychedelic drugs. Psychedelic drugs – the only one that ever amounted to anything as a financial enterprise was cannabis. And cannabis is many things besides psychedelic. The deep, dramatic psychedelics, which are all Schedule 1, the most repressed Schedule – don’t produce great amounts of money at all. What they do produce is questioning minds. They cause people to ask questions. They cause people to ask for clarification. They cause people to challenge cultural values, because they decondition you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Hasid, a communist apparatchik, a rainforest shaman, if you take psychedelics you will question your first premises; and that is a business that all governments – right, left, middle – are in the business of repressing. They don’t want to have to explain why things are done as they are. But if we don’t begin asking for that explanation, they’re going to run this planet right into ruin.

Terence McKenna said...

And we are the generation responsible. You are the generation that is responsible. You can’t claim that you grew up in a village in Nigeria and you didn’t know. You can’t claim that you are the child of poor Bangladeshi parents and you had no opportunity. The responsibility rests upon the educated and the financially capable of doing something about it; and by that measure, you and I are probably in the upper 3% of people on this planet, and if we don’t take responsibility then that responsibility will devolve to others – beady-eyed others, with an agenda that would stand your hair on end.

(tetragammatron) said...

So, go get 'em Bill! Use the media to spread something other than darkness at the speed of light!

M said...

Could Maher suggest a group that wouldn't be concerned about their own eclipse? Would Japanese or Israelis feel any different?

***If penises could cry – and I believe they can – then white penises are crying all over America.***

And in California. Why Maher thinks the changing demographics is a bit of mystery when you consider what is happening there.

"For a closer glimpse of what's in store for California, look at the Los Angeles Unified School District, the largest in California and the second largest in the country. Of its roughly 700,000 students, almost three-quarters are Hispanic, 8.9 percent are white, and 11.2 percent are black. More than half of the Latino students (about 300,000) are "English learners" and, depending on whether you believe the district or independent scholars, anywhere between a third and a half drop out of high school, following significant attrition in middle school. A recent study by UC Santa Barbara's California Dropout Research Project estimates that high-school dropouts in 2007 alone will cost the state $24.2 billion in future economic losses...
Perhaps even more important than the collapse of educational achievement among the lower strata is a deterioration of the higher education that was for decades the basis of California's preeminence in science and technology. California currently ranks 40th among the 50 states in college-attendance rates, and it already faces a significant shortage of college graduates. Studies have shown that the economy will need 40 percent of its workers to be college-educated by 2020, compared with today's 32 percent. Given the aging white population (average age, 42), many of these new graduates will have to come from the burgeoning Latino immigrant population (average age, 26). By one estimate, this would require tripling of the number of college-educated immigrants, an impossibility if current trends hold. The state's inability to improve the educational attainment of its residents will result in a "substantial decline in per capita income" and "place California last among the 50 states" by 2020, according to a study by the National Center for Higher Education Management Systems...

One myth is that because America is a country of immigrants and has successfully absorbed waves of immigration in the past, it can absorb this wave. But the argument neglects two key differences between past waves and the current influx. First, the immigrant population is more than double today what it was following the most massive previous immigration wave (that of the late 19th century). Second, and much more important, as scholars from the Manhattan Institute have shown, earlier immigrants were much more likely to bring with them useful skills. Some Hispanic immigrants certainly do integrate, but most do not. Research has shown that even after 20 years in the country, most illegal aliens (the overwhelming majority of whom are Hispanic) and their children remain poor, unskilled, and culturally isolated they constitute a new permanent underclass."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112167023

M said...

Could Maher suggest a group that wouldn't be concerned about their own eclipse? Would Japanese or Israelis feel any different?

***If penises could cry – and I believe they can – then white penises are crying all over America.***

And in California. Why Maher thinks the changing demographics is a bit of mystery when you consider what is happening there.

"For a closer glimpse of what's in store for California, look at the Los Angeles Unified School District, the largest in California and the second largest in the country. Of its roughly 700,000 students, almost three-quarters are Hispanic, 8.9 percent are white, and 11.2 percent are black. More than half of the Latino students (about 300,000) are "English learners" and, depending on whether you believe the district or independent scholars, anywhere between a third and a half drop out of high school, following significant attrition in middle school. A recent study by UC Santa Barbara's California Dropout Research Project estimates that high-school dropouts in 2007 alone will cost the state $24.2 billion in future economic losses...
Perhaps even more important than the collapse of educational achievement among the lower strata is a deterioration of the higher education that was for decades the basis of California's preeminence in science and technology. California currently ranks 40th among the 50 states in college-attendance rates, and it already faces a significant shortage of college graduates. Studies have shown that the economy will need 40 percent of its workers to be college-educated by 2020, compared with today's 32 percent. Given the aging white population (average age, 42), many of these new graduates will have to come from the burgeoning Latino immigrant population (average age, 26). By one estimate, this would require tripling of the number of college-educated immigrants, an impossibility if current trends hold. The state's inability to improve the educational attainment of its residents will result in a "substantial decline in per capita income" and "place California last among the 50 states" by 2020, according to a study by the National Center for Higher Education Management Systems..."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112167023

M said...

Could Maher suggest a group that wouldn't be concerned about their own eclipse? Would Japanese or Israelis feel any different?

M said...

***If penises could cry – and I believe they can – then white penises are crying all over America.***

And in California. Why Maher thinks the changing demographics is a bit of mystery when you consider what is happening there.

"Perhaps even more important than the collapse of educational achievement among the lower strata is a deterioration of the higher education that was for decades the basis of California's preeminence in science and technology. California currently ranks 40th among the 50 states in college-attendance rates, and it already faces a significant shortage of college graduates. Studies have shown that the economy will need 40 percent of its workers to be college-educated by 2020, compared with today's 32 percent. Given the aging white population (average age, 42), many of these new graduates will have to come from the burgeoning Latino immigrant population (average age, 26). By one estimate, this would require tripling of the number of college-educated immigrants, an impossibility if current trends hold. The state's inability to improve the educational attainment of its residents will result in a "substantial decline in per capita income" and "place California last among the 50 states" by 2020, according to a study by the National Center for Higher Education Management Systems..."

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112167023

The Gimp said...

Hint: just because men like to look at women's breasts does NOT mean that women want to see a picture of a man's penis. Any man's penis, of whatever size.

I mean, peruse the magazine rack in your local porno store. All the pictures of penises are in the mags aimed at gay men. This is not how women's minds work.

Anonymous said...

Playgirl has been in business since 1973. They report 30% of their consumers are men. Apparently you are not one of their consumers. Their 37 year free enterprise success indicates that you could be more open minded and tolerant of others, Gimp.

Saints John, Paul, George & Ringo of the League of Spiritual Discovery said...

Don't you know that happiness is a warm gone, momma? Yes it is!

Try living before you give up.

Saints John, Paul, George & Ringo of the League of Spiritual Discovery said...

See that? The professors spellchecked gun -> gone. Maybe them Clampetts aren't smarter than us.

Anonymous said...

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

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Anonymous said...

Cut 'em off. They don't taste that great anyway.

Michael Ironside said...

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
If you don't take it out & use it
it's going to rust.

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