Saturday, May 8, 2010

New Rule: This Mother's Day, Americans Must Extend a Special Thanks to Their Nannies

New Rule: This Mother's Day, all Americans must pause and extend a special thanks to the women who maintain our homes, who take care of our kids, and who still make time for sex with Dad. I'm talking, of course, about our nannies. Lost in this whole immigration debate is why Americans want to be so harsh on the people who, in so many and varied ways, enable them to sit on their fat asses. Nannies, valet parkers, gardeners, all the people who do the things we're a little too busy or important to do. There are plenty of people to be mad at our there -- the jerks at Goldman Sachs, the idiots at BP, the guy who charged you fifty bucks for these tickets -- why set our crosshairs on the humble, servile people?

I'll tell you why. Because we're bullies. Instead of confronting real threats, like the debt or the environment or Utah, we pick out the poorest, most defenseless kid on the block -- illegal immigrants -- and say, "What are you looking at?" But I'll tell you something, you anti-immigrant hoopies -- as usual you're mad at the wrong people. It was corporate America that busted your unions and didn't keep your pay up to the cost of living, causing your wife to have to go to work and Esmeralda to have to come in to watch the kids. Your problem is low wages, not low riders. A middle class life can now only be maintained with the presence of an underpaid underclass. In the 1940s, fewer than one in five moms worked outside the home. Ironically, mostly in bomber factories, to beat Nazi Germany, a place, like Arizona, where you always had to show your papers. I kid, that's an unfair comparison. The Germans knew how to dress.

All this anger that we see aimed at the Mexican underclass might be more understandable if illegals came here with a bad attitude and sent the crime rate soaring -- but they don't. The Justice Department says violent crime in Arizona is at its lowest point since 1971. Property crime is at its lowest since 1966. There is no problem. There's only dicks and the politicians who pander to them.

I know this is anecdotal, but I've hired several immigrant housekeepers -- legal immigrants, I might add, in case anyone at the White House is considering me for a Cabinet position -- and they've all done great work. Especially on my monologue. While the one American-born Caucasian guy I hired to do some handyman work stole my tools. You know who you are, Stephen Baldwin.

And when I drive home every day and see maids trudging up a steep hill to the mansions where they work, and I offer them a ride, I'm astounded: they never refuse, because they're so exhausted that they'll accept a ride from a mysterious gringo blasting rap music, even though that's the beginning of every slasher movie ever. You know, neighbors, you're trusting these women to clean your homes, feed your pets, and give your kids their daily dose of Ritalin -- the least you can do is not make them walk up the hill.

Some time in the distant future, brown people are probably going to -- and I say this without judgment -- breed their way to power in both Europe and America. Arab populations are growing in countries like France and Holland, and I think we all see where this Mexican thing is going in America. That's right, because they fuck more, the darker skinned people are going to rule the world, and white people, for their own self-preservation, should get a start on being nice to them now! Nice! Just be nice, to the poor and desperate people who change our Depends and cook our food, hopefully not in that order.


jaydee1 said...

i strongly agree with bill here. he is absolutely the most logical thinker i know

Anonymous said...

I agree with Bill on many issues. Remember when BofA revoked the company that made doors, line of credit the employees locked themselves in the factory and Obama supported them. What happen to the outrage we felt toward "Wall Street"?

Lobbyist are demolishing our chances to get off oil, financial reform and corporations is just another word for PLUTONOMY; The Rich Getting Richer and as long as everyone is smoking WEED*Bill, Aint shit gona happen... There is no more 1960's revolution. But isn't that what we need to shake up these pussy politicians?

Anonymous said...

Bill has Nanny's? Hola Miha, you're job is to roll joints--that all--no more smoking it!!

Anonymous said...

Mysterious gringo blasting rap music, pick-up nanny's tugging up the hill..

I'm in tears, tugging up the hill, Really? Go to Mexico and see if anyone will pull over and say, Hey Grina, wanna sit shotgun in my low rider...

Anonymous said...

Thank you Bill for your weekly dose of sanity. We all appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Maher is a douche. Bill is always criticizing religion, but somehow he never has a harsh word for the people who keep trying to kill Americans. Muslims. Muslims want to kill Americans.
vaginas like Maher will only criticize those he knows will never hurt him. Liberals are pussies first ALWAYS. Fuck you and anyone who watches this douchebag.

Anonymous said...

your show last night was provacative...sometimes you sicken me...not all that often but take for example you said that people should be taken to Guantanomo Bay and tortured, I was pretty you come up with "George Will is a great writer"...pretty stupid...he opens with a very predictable run on sentence, slaughters grammar, and pronounces himself victorious...any high school english teacher would give him an F for his misuse...for composition he vomits out some implausible, undefendable, turd of an idea, digresses and pronounces himself victorious...F (if you can stomach it) his latest "Hostage to a timetable"...his hair is a lie, his bow tie speaks of the need to be the object of affection of his local priest, ...I'm sorry, I don't really know what he and Tucker Carlson, David Frum, et. al. do in the C Street hot tubs while they memorize their talking points and are entertained by the aka Jeff Gannons of the world... but please pick someone literate...

Anonymous said...


I love your show. One thing that disturbs me though is your ongoing bashing of Muslims (at least it sounds like Muslim-bashing). Like you, I have no religion but I know many Muslims who are outstanding people and liver cleaner, healthier and saner lives than most Americans.
Don't fuel the Republican-tactic of instilling fear in the hearts of Americans who watch your show by associating Muslims with terrorist.
I wish I could share the experiences my wife and I had in our recent travels to Turkey. Some of the most outstanding people ever met.

Anonymous said...


I love your show. One thing that disturbs me though is your ongoing bashing of Muslims (at least it sounds like Muslim-bashing). Like you, I have no religion but I know many Muslims who are outstanding people and liver cleaner, healthier and saner lives than most Americans.
Don't fuel the Republican-tactic of instilling fear in the hearts of Americans who watch your show by associating Muslims with terrorist.
I wish I could share the experiences my wife and I had in our recent travels to Turkey. Some of the most outstanding people ever met.

Anonymous said...

The blogger who stated "Maher is a douche...... F you and anyone who watches this douchebag".
Obviously, you must be one who has watched his show to know what his show is about.

You're brilliant. NOT.

saluti said...

Bill... I often ask myself , "Why is it as you describe?" ... After all the preaching and exhortations for change , I agree that our society seems to be coming more polarized & meaner ... I would say this was exemplified , encouraged & crystalized by the way the media treated the Rev. Jeremiah Wright because some of his remarks were critical in much the same way that yours are ... Rather than engaging in dialogue , rapport & reconciliation , he was turfed from the American mainstream , not for reasons of moral correctness but solely for empasizing a political correctness ... I hope the same won't happen again ... saluti

ZenGrouch said...

Come on Bill... Be nice to 'em before they physically overwhelm us?

Right, they'll certainly remember our good intentions when they're in charge.

If you want to travel forward in time and see how well that'll work out for benevolent ol' whitie, take a trip to Mexico City, and in English say, "For the love of God, where is the motherfucking bathroom?" and "Whatta ya' mean you want $5 for 4 sheets of 1 ply ass wipe paper?!" to the little old bitch laughing at you when you do find the shitter.

Anyway, by your logic if the crime rate is going down, we should open the borders and bring in more of these people, who could give a flying fuck about getting in line and coming here LEGALLY!

ZenGrouch said...


How fucked up are things when high school kids are sent home from school for wearing the American flag, not to disrespect it, but to honor it?!

Oh yeah, they did this on Cinco de Mayo. How fucking dare they! Oh, but thank god cooler heads prevailed and kicked their asses out of school.

Cinco de fuckin' Mayo?! it's not even a holiday in Mexico, yet for some motherfucking reason, it's P.I. to show pride in the AMERICAN FLAG on this day?!

OK, the offending assholes were kicked out of school, but was THAT enough?! Apparently not for the students who demonstrated, bringing light to the insensitivity of these gringo motherfuckers in their own country!

I don't know what they want, but they took it to the streets. I guess to make sure that there ain't no American Flag waving on days set aside for Mexicans to party over kicking French ass!

This is fucking ridiculous and all involved in sending those kids home for showing some pride in their country, being the U.S. of fuckin' A., should be sued for every god damned dime they have.

It's a shame when we bend over backwards, giving it all away, because we're afraid to think for ourselves, and say, "Hey... wait a minute, what they're doing is pretty fucked up..."

But no, we're all thinking, "Well sure, that's fucked up, but I don't want anyone to think I'm a racist, or this piece of shit world will come to an end, or something like that."

Homo Sapiens Sapien-Roundup Ready™ said...

Wow Bill

If you are formulating your public opinion of illegal immigrants from your cleaning lady, maybe you need to cut down on the herb, dude. Or maybe you need to upgrade your tinfoil hat to a nice steel culendar, the NBA may have found a way around that hack.

At least do some real homework. Detailed reports are all over the web, my tax dollars at waste. Be sure not to just look at the Mexican problem. You are right about the corporations being a major part of the problem: they are the ones who keep the borders porous.

You still funny. Don't you drive a Prius? You better not make Toyota jokes until you get rid of it, you never know when they're going to take over your car's computer and make it look like an accident. If you think I'm crazy, research what car companies are doing with chips to protect their investment when they finance a car. Didn't pay bill? Car not go.

Thanks for reminding me that the last (known) time the Vatican authorized executing people who wouldn't convert was in the 1930s. Never you mind, in 1848 Pope Leo 13th excommunicated everyone living in countries that don't defer their sovereignty to the vatican - especially democracies. So according to these anal retentive sadists, everyone in the world not living in Vatican City, including all Catholics, is going to Hell.

Want to know more? Google "Humanum genus"

Ain't the web grand? Straight to Hell, each and every one, so rock n roll all night, and party every day!

Homo Sapiens Sapien-Roundup Ready™ said...

and Bill,

if you don't like the inequities, buy your cleaning lady a car. Teach her to drive, get her a license, pay her insurance; do whatever you like, but don't take from the taxpaying poor to fund your charitable whims, dish from your own stash.

You are sounding like a limousine liberal. When is the last time you rode the bus in LA?

Anonymous said...

Maher IS a douche.

And a dick, too.

Unknown said...

This guy acts intelligent but really says the stupidest things. "The crime rate is at it's lowest since the 70's". Yeah, Bill that's because THERE'S MORE PEOPLE. If a small town has 100 people and one decides to commit a murder - that's a 1 % murder rate. If you increase the size of that "town" to 1 million should I actually expect to see 10,000 murders? Fricken bonehead. 15 % of murders last year in the combined states of Arizona, New Mexico and Texas were by ILLEGALS. Hey bill next time you're taking another hit (which is probably right now) please smoke that.

Anonymous said...

The blogger who stated "Maher is a douche...... F you and anyone who watches this douchebag".
Obviously, you must be one who has watched his show to know what his show is about.

You're brilliant. NOT

you are reading/writing on a computer, you do not have to watch Maher. touche shithead.

Bryan said...

You may be interested to learn Glen Beck is the Commencement speaker at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va

Anonymous said...

George Will gets an A+.

Maher gets an F. Again.

Artemus said...

I must disagree that "corporate America busted the unions" of the workers, reducing their wages and thus forcing mommies to enter the work force. Unions are responsible in large part for the demise of the American motor industry and are, in fact, responsible for their own demise as well as that of the American car manufacturing industry. That's why Mom had to go to work. American car manufactures didn't realize that you can't pay some high school drop out $70,000 a year to pound sheet metal and then pass that cost (and a lousy car) off to the American consumer. Why do you think Toyota has been the best selling car in the USA for 10 years?

Homo Sapiens Sapien-Roundup Ready™ said...

Actually John,

People aren't reporting crimes because the justice system is AFU. Call the cops? Why not douse yourself with gasoline and light a match? Hey Big Brother, help me with this? Hey! Hey! Stop! No! I don't need reeducating! No! Really! Please! Stop!

The cops are dirty.

Jordi said...

Bill, this one from Spain. I just learned in an advanced class in the University of Valencia that drugs in general, including alcohol, and Marihuana have a very bad effect on the brains of young people. The reason: humans do not have mature brains until they get to the 20's. Important changes take place in the structure and functions of the brain during puberty and early adulthood on its way to maturity. Drugs alter this process and cause of normal growth. I would encourage you to double check with your 'local scientist' to confirm. It will be good next time you endorse marihuana use that it is ONLY For adults. I am enthusiast of your show and views. Thanks, Jordi

Anonymous said...

I don't watch Bill Maher, and now that I've read him... I still won't.
He's just a humorist, and I was a housewife / mom for a while. Some of my friends did day care while they stayed home.
If he's talking about nannies, he's talking about the people in his neighborhood - who probably don't work and have nannies anyway.

Zeca said...


I am a journalist from Brasil and I´d like to interview you. Is it possible to send you some questions by email?

Thanks for your attention.


Anonymous said...

I am amazed at your comment that "crime has gone down in AZ." Would you be so kind as to report where you got these stats and why you think they are real?

Anonymous said...

Our government is supposed to protect the people and it's time to close our borders to the south. I don't know where your stats were derived from but you are presenting all the facts. You are not subjected to the kidnappings, car stealing, drug dealing, murdering problems that exist in Arizona. One of our ranchers was murdered; another sheriff deputy assaulted with an AK 47 as 5 illegals dropped their drugs in the desert and ran.

Here's one way to have an intelligent discussion with accurate facts; invite Sheriff Joe Arpaio to have a one on one with you! Racial profiling? Please. When citizens are pulled over by police, we have to provide driver's license and registration. It is part of our system. Get your facts straight and come and live here for awhile....Joe can show you what really happens around here.

Anonymous said...

I understand why people are pissed at Arizona. I just don't agree with it. When are we going to stop destroying ourselves and obey our own laws? TOUGH times require tough measures. We should be pissed at our Government for not securing our borders and ports when the planes hit the towers. Not doing so was criminal! Lying to the American people and Getting us into 2 wars we have no business in is CRIMINAL. It is time to rid this country of the parasites[illegals], religous fanatics, and corupt/corporate politicians who want to destroy us from within. They are here now. Our military would be put to much better use here! 911 was the time to place Military at our borders and secure our NATIONs Ports. George Bush and DICKHEAD Chenny should have been tried as the criminals and corporate whores they are. Bill you obviously know nothing about the crime rate in the MIDWEST and many other parts of the country. The Midwest packing house industry started busting unions, hiring illegal immigrants, and politicians years ago. Along with many ILLEGALS CAME "CRANK" Along with crank came much of our crime. When you read the paper or listen to the news in IOWA much of the crime and murder you hear of has a Hispanic Name attached to it...If thats profiling, tough shit!!! I and many others are fucking sick of it..The white middleclass are discriminated against more than anyone. We are losing our neighborhoods and jobs to Many brown people who treat us white people like we do not belong. We are getting outnumbered and sold out by our own crooked Governments and industries at the local and federal levels. Many of the brown people in my neighbrhood are more racist than I have ever been on my worst fucking day. To THEM I say, "Go south of the border and fix your own government". OURS IS FUCKED UP ENOUGH! Our Government consists of corporate whores FUCKING the tax payers, LEGAL AND illegal citizens of this country! I am tired of the local and Federal Government Stealing My MONEY and blowing it on Crazy shit. Fuck, we are so broke you can't even get a pothole fixed but, there always seems plenty more debt dollars for war...This is insanity. Thanks Bill for cutting thru most Bullshit.

fuck illegals said...

May 8, 2010

L.A. Teacher Calls for Mexican Revolt in the U.S.

So Bill, better learn to shoot. You have no team.

Anonymous said...

Bill why dont you attend town meeting or start pickiting the issues that bother you. You have so many people that are both with and against you. Im with you. I know your a commedian, but you know what your talking about, and you have friends. Keep the commedian character on your HBO show. You reach a lot of middle class people and young people connect with you. You can take office and start a change by actually calling everyone out. You are to brilliant with your comedy, and your political knowlege. Most will be agaist you not because of your stand on issues but the religion, and thats a sham. I agree with you on your recent documentry "Religion" the hard core religious of any religion are waiting for the end, they want it to happen in their life. They are waiting or that nuke to go off, and then when the smoke blows over you realize people are still alive and your goning to realize what Bill Maher and George Carlin make fun of religion on a public stage beacuse they arnt afraid of the after life its the finatics that are out there now that matter before we face anything let alone a "afterlife". Run for office at least senator, and take the office seriously. Also keeping your HBO comedy going so you can still poke fun and give it to them in the raw form only you can deliver. Take a chance what have you really have to lose?

Anonymous said...

Wow, knowing what I know about folks of the right-wing persuasion, I'm still surprised by all the dumb and clueless comments posted by those who are offended, confused or just pissed off by the comments of smart guy like Bill Maher. I'm not referring to the unimaginative "Bill is such a douche" stuff, but to what's posted by "John", claiming that the decline in the crime rate in this country (information one can easily find at DOJ and other sites, for those who don't know) should be attributed to (get this!) an increase in the population!! Yes, "John" sez that the reason the crime rate seems lower is because, well, there are lots and lots more people now! Yeah. That's right. People who figure out such statistics have no idea as to how these things are calculated...but John does! You know that increase in the unemployment rate? Well, John will tell you that it is not that more people are without jobs, the population has shrunk? Pure mathematical genius.

Then there are also the comments that completely miss the point. Such as Anonymous lady who thinks Bill is taking about "nannies". She tells us that she, as most of us, has never had a "nanny", so Bill is only talking about fancy people in his fancy neighborhood. Which also means that Maher's point (about being decent to and appreciative of those who do so much of the hard but necessary work in this country) has clearly gone WHOOSH! right over the poor lady's head.

And then there's very angry Anonymous who rants and bitches about lots of things, including how his "brown" neighbors, who are possibly quite racist (what's with white bigots calling non-whites racists these days?), should just go home (not the US, apparently) and fix things there and just leave him alone,what with everything in his life going to shit. To angry Anonymous, anyone darker than he can only be foreign - most likely from South of the border, but never American. It is typical for the likes of angry Anonymous to define "real Americans" as people who look like he does (not necessarily what mothers wish for their children). Never mind all thousands of "brown" soldiers now serving and dying in our wars, all while angry Anonymous and fellow racists sit at their computers, in the safety of home, and type away their vitriol, calling for "brown" people to leave & go fix their country (which is never America, and never the country a racist's ancestors came from).

But watch out for these xenophobes and bigots, as one never knows who they could come after next. It could well be the Greeks among in: "Why can't George Stephanopoulos, Arianna Huffington and all those Grecians go fix the mess in their country now?"

Although it would probably the dark-skin Greek they'd be looking for.

Unknown said...

As if you could keep a good man down. Lena Horne proved you can't keep anyone down. No matter how you try. With your "National day of prayer" or your latest "tea party rally". Just admit it exceptional people are Well .. extraordinary. Whether they just crossed the border last week or maybe they are your typical anchor baby. America is Lena Horne. Wise Up.

Do the fish! said...

Silly Andy

The extraordinary is just that - not commonplace, so there goes the rest of your phony rationalized assertion.

Suicide is always an option. Indeed, much more reliable than Prozac.

Unknown said...

Anonymous said...

Maher is a douche. Bill is always criticizing religion, but somehow he never has a harsh word for the people who keep trying to kill Americans. Muslims. Muslims want to kill Americans.
vaginas like Maher will only criticize those he knows will never hurt him. Liberals are pussies first ALWAYS. Fuck you and anyone who watches this douchebag.
May 8, 2010 10:00 AM

What is funny, is that on his front page you can see that on April 30th, he did just that.

As if it wasn't enough... the same points were reiterated in the "religion of piece" video (funny thing about Americans, we don't listen, we just wait to tal- bitch*)

My apologies to Bill, fortunately for you Mr. Maher, it is ignorance such as this - that allows us to outsmart our political enemies. Though, to be perfectly honest, I never really felt threatened by people so blissfully unaware of the world around them, that they could actually call themselves "tea-baggers."

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Sorry, me again about the same post. Though, here is some advice for the rest of the white trash who decide to post before they think. English is a beautiful language, use it correctly and it can be a powerful tool; on the tongue of a moron however, you serve only to exacerbate your own struggle, by perpetuating the stigma that you (like your comments) are ignorant.
- Muslims. - this is not a complete sentence, do not treat it as such.
-vaginas like Maher will only criticize those he knows will never hurt him. Liberals are pussies first ALWAYS. - capitalized his name! but missed that first letter of the sentence... unless of course this is your way of saying that the vagina - as a feminine word, is subordinate to other words, and is therefore reverse capitalized? I mean... I get the whole "women on bottom" thing... it makes for some really boring sex, which by the way? I am a liberal, and I'm proud to be a pussy, because in the same way that you are a grease-ball biggie sized burger and fries from the Dairy Queen circuit? I am what I eat! Which... forgive me for saying... but by that logic... doesn't that make you a dick?

Anonymous said...




There are no hyphenated criminals said...

“In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith, becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person’s becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American… There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn’t an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag… We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language… and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.”
—Theodore Roosevelt, 1919

Anonymous said...


You are perhaps the most arrogant and ignorant political commentator I am aware of today.

Today, on the Situation Room, you claimed that illegal immigration is not a problem and that most of the illegal immigrants are "law-abiding citizens." ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, BY DEFINITION, ARE NOT LAW-ABIDING. You truly need to revisit your reasoning. Please talk to the police officials in Arizona as to whether or not illegal immigration is a problem.

You and our manchurian candidate President, Barack Hussein Obama, are contributing to the downfall of America as we know it. Luckily, the Republicans will take back America in just a few short years.


Unknown said...

Mostly I agree with you Bill.
Corporate greed and no over sight is the main culprit, they even advertise in Mexico for workers.

I disagree with illegals popping out a kid getting section eight housing and food stamps then inviting fifteen of the relatives to live on my tax dollars in a single family home,listening to loud oompah music and throwing their beer cans over the fence.

And yes poor people and Catholics have always had too many kids. Not limited to "brown people".

English is a beautiful language said...

Pronunciation: \ˈgȯrm-ləs\
Function: adjective
Etymology: alteration of English dial. gaumless, from gaum attention, understanding (from Middle English gome, from Old Norse gaum, gaumr) + -less
Date: 1883
chiefly British : lacking intelligence : stupid
— gorm·less·ness noun chiefly British

Soft Invasion said...

Hey anon.

Once the Republicans get America back from the Obama corporatists, how do you propose we get America back from the Republican corporatists? If you have any thoughts on this?

Bill Maher, Come to Allah! said...

(Arabic: البُراق‎ al-Burāq "lightning") is a mythological steed, described as a creature from the heavens which transported the prophets. The most commonly told story is how in the 7th century, the Buraq carried the Islamic prophet Muhammad from Mecca to Jerusalem and back during the Isra and Mi'raj or "Night Journey", which is the title of one of the chapters (sura), Al-Isra, of the Qur'an.

Election 2012 said...

2 years, 9 months to go.

Got HPD? said...


I'm a fan. Based on some of your interview comments I thought you might appreciate this article:

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious...

The rest of the article is here:

Anonymous said...

Let's give a shot out to Michele Bachmann. Surely mother of the year candidate.

Anonymous said...

"The least you can do is not make them walk up the hill..."

Okay, Mr. Maher, that may be true, hard workers deserve a bit of decency. But I wouldn't have a problem with them walking up any hill, or anywhere for that matter, if they just turn around and walk back up LEGALLY WHEN THEY'RE CITIZENS.

School of the Americas said...


I loved your tea party hat. After reading these posts I really want to see you with a tinfoil hat... I imagine it folded the way we folded paper 'hats' in second grade. A tinfoil yamika underneath would be cool.

Attaching a couple of tea bags wouldn't hurt either. And X-Ray glasses.

Anonymous said...

Noticia para todos de los indocumentados de los Estados Unidos:

Bill please help me with this. This is one way to bring this to a head.

Organize and pick a date. All of you who are illegal aliens within the US (or crossing into the US) unite and stand up for yourselves. Stage a mass sick out and go turn yourselves in to ICE or the Border Patrol.

Hire immigration attorneys and ask for immigration hearings. For example, apply for political asylum as economic refugees who are terrified to go back to the cartel violence in Mexico.

#1: It will take months for agents to process all these cases. There is not enough detention space or immigration courts to handle so many cases at once.

#2: You would have to be released within the US with a notice to appear. These NTA’s are valid immigration documents until your cases are adjudicated.

#3: It would take years to hear all of these cases. Meanwhile, although you won't be authorized to work, you would reside lawfully in the US until your cases were heard.

Americans who could care less about the law will continue to hire you just like they always have.

Don't cooperate with the Mexican or US Government's tacit agreement to dehumanize you and “keep you in the shadows”.

Unite peacefully and call their bluff!

ZenGrouch said...

"Unite peacefully and call their bluff!"...

Yes, please do...

...what ya' got ta lose?

Anonymous said...

Actually Bill, most Arabs list themselves as "Whites" or Caucasions.
By American definitions of "White" (including Arabs and Turks), Europe is 98 percent "White". So Whites will have the power in Europe. And contrary to the myth, Arab birthrates in Europe are only slightly higher these days than European birthrates. Even Arabs are using birth control.

John in Minneapolis
People who are Arab, or part-Arab are presently 5 percent of Europe.

In the U.S., appox. 50 percent of Hispanics also list themselves as "White", either because they are relatively White to begin with, or are products of Anglo/Hispanic marriages, which are common in America.
Including White Latinos, Whites will continue to be the majority in America in the future.

Anonymous said...


I liked what you said with Jesse Ventura about having a vote of no confidence and scaling it so that if your candidate didn't make the ticket your vote would be included with the one who did. Its much better than just a vote of no confidence, which as Jesse pointed out would leave a lot of seats vacant for long, long time, for good reason. I do think it would be impossible to implement in a way that prevents vote fraud. Considering the scoundrels involved, I think we are forced to keep it very simple, watch it very closely and make the punishment for cheating so heinous that the cheats will be terrified. If they are born to lose death isn't enough of a deterrent, the punishment has to hurt...

As for your support of illegal aliens, I didn't realize you were so desperate for ratings. I thought you'd get a Jihad declared against you, its the religulous thing to do. It should be easy enough, given your heritage and their sensitivity to name calling. Isn't PETA edgy enough anymore? Or was it a CFR initiation challenge? You crazy boy...

Anonymous said...

Good points.
Latinos are not a race. Yes almost half of them consider themselves White.
Arabs are from the Mediteranean, therefore considered White.

Anonymous said...

I know, lets just abandon the legal immigration program and degrade ourselves with the much coarser illegal ones.

Report says, 80% of Mexican illegals end up in jail or on welfare.

Report says, 20% Chinese illegals end up in jail or on welfare.

No shit.

Same report quotes Mexican Catholic priest advocating breeding like retarded rats until they spill over the border, to overrun the US system. Boy, do we have internment camps for all of you. Seems the Catholic pedophiles want back the land they stole by rape and genocide, then lost due to war.

Did I forget to mention secret societies? History shows, again and again, secret societies correct the folly of fatheads. USA: brought to you by the Protestant Reformation, served up by the then totally secret Freemasons. Think corrective measures.

All the legal immigrants hate you, Bill Maher. You suck, you shallow performer.

ZenGrouch said...

"Report says, 80% of Mexican illegals end up in jail or on welfare"...

You'd have to be a stupid fuck, glue huffin', meth head to believe that.

Anonymous said...

Yea Zen, Assembly man from SD says a twice deported illegal killed a cop for a routine freeway stop. You're a cop, what do you think?

Multiple politicians report that 10 billion dollars a year is spent by California taxpayers to address the illegals, and that doesn't measure the lost revenue & jobs.

1300 plus Americans were killed by illegals in Texas in 2007; Los Aztecas, Bill Maher's fucking friends. Bill, a California cop who had a family was killed when he standard traffic event pulled over a guy, who happened to have been deported 2x already. Your friend killed an American father who swore his life to defend your right to disagree with us.

So Bill, when you get arrested for not paying taxes for your illegals, or a speeding ticket in your Prius, I will laugh at you. I wish upon you the pain of slavery, that you wish upon me. And a long fucking life, slave.

You are wrong

Anonymous said...


ZenGrouch said...

You stupid fuck...

Where did I say I was for cop killing illegals?

I merely stated that the figure presented was bull shit.

God... I hate it when people on my side of an argument have their heads rammed way the fuck up their anonymous asses.

Sheesh... get a name...

Andres said...

Bill, I think you are dead on when you speak of religion and it's impact to our world. When I see people professing to represent the religous viewpoint with comments like this person made... Anonymous said...
Maher is a douche. Bill is always criticizing religion, but somehow he never has a harsh word for the people who keep trying to kill Americans. Muslims. Muslims want to kill Americans.
vaginas like Maher will only criticize those he knows will never hurt him. Liberals are pussies first ALWAYS. Fuck you and anyone who watches this douchebag.
================= Me again...
Just makes me realize what a GREAT work GOD has done with this person. I admire your courage to speak out on such touchy subjects. In a world full of people who PROFESS to be God fearing people, it takes alot of guts to say what you say. As for me, I stand dide by side with you. This world is full of leaders with no vision who seem to have one goal, to pander to religion and corporations in order to keep what pathetic little power they may have.

Anonymous said...


Check out the article in the NYtimes, 22 May 2010, "It Was a Royal Pain, but it Ended Well". I understand that the pope wrote that the Magna Carta was "not only shameful and base but also illegal and unjust". The pope affirmed that it "dishonours the Apostolic See, injures the king's right, shames the English nation, and endangers the crusade."

Another good addition to what the church has done for the rule of law. There might be hope though as there might have been some extraordinary barons!

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill, if we had your millions and were on television for a living we wouldn't want to drill anymore either, we could afford the 5 dollar a gtallon gas like you can.

Hey Bill, when is the last time you walked out the front door of your mansion and had to listen to your nieghbors blasting laraza music or have to ride a bus full of mexicans that can not speak english, how many of your staff members speak spanish only? Can your job be taken by an illeagal with a fake I.D.? You really need to come down from your mountain and have a walk in the real world.
Are you planning on runnung for goverment office in the near future and you think you might lose the mexican vote?
Bottom line is if you ever had to walk in the average Americans shoes I think you would feel differently about things but your lifestyle affords you the comforts of being shielded from the everyday things the rest of the world deals with.

MrSmith2U said...

Yo, Bill. Unrelated to all the craziness I have just read on your blog, I have to agree with one thing - Anonymous Idiots, get a name or are hiding something?
Bill, talk to your producers and get Sarah (TTT) Palin on your show right now! This would be the MOST watched TV show since the invention of television! EVER! Dontcha see the possibilities here? Wake up, man! I am giddy with anticipation just thinking about it - whoops, I think I feel some jism in my drawers. Also, the (TTT) is an anagram for 'the teabagging twit'. Feel free to use it anytime but with due credit or I will have to sue you! I'm sure you know that three fourths of all the worlds lawyers live in the United States.

Anonymous said...

Bill, you call everyone else an idiot and stupid. However, I have not heard one bright or intelligent comment come out of your big mouth. You are an entertainer, not an economist, not a statistician, not an engineer, not even doctor, lawyer or Indian chief. You did not go thru Stalin, Kruscheff, Brezhnev, Hitler or Mussolini and see the death and destruction of such govts. That seems to be where you want the rest of us headed. Read some history. You are the stupid one!

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill, My daughter is locked up for @45 days in Coweta County Jailhouse in Newnan, Georgia. Do you know the only book available for her to read; the bible. All other books are banned under the auspices of they aid and abet contraband. Would love to hear your take.

Anonymous said...

When the Christian Right takes over, they will outlaw alcohol and beer - like they did before! Albert K. Echt

Jennifer said...

Would like to share some info about Jacque Fresco and Peter Joseph.

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