Friday, November 30, 2012

Sore Losers

By Bill Maher

Fifty-nine million Americans voted for Mitt Romney. Don't ask me why.  Why do they keep seeing Nicholas Sparks movies? Because white people are fucked up, that's why.

Who shops at the Hallmark Store? Who's smoking all the meth? Who's watching Duck Dynasty -- a reality show about rednecks who make duck calls? It gets higher ratings than 30 Rock or Homeland and I can't prove they're white and stupid, but someone's watching it...and it ain't Cornel West.
The fact is, there are people who didn't vote for Obama, and some of them are taking it pretty poorly.
Can white people hold a grudge? Ask anyone with Confederate flag mud flaps. Ask Mel Gibson how he feels about the crucifixion and Jews.

The White House website has a feature called "We The People." You click on it and see Joe Biden eat ice cream, totally nude. No you don't. You click on it, and any yahoo can submit a petition about issues that are "mportant" to the country. Since the election, petitions have been submitted from all 50 states to secede from the union. The Texas petition has over 100,000 signatures, followed closely by the petitions from Louisiana, Florida, Georgia and Alabama. Which is remarkable because, to submit a signature, you have to be able to write.

The Texas petition reads:

"The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights, such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it's citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government."

Of course, I can understand breaking up the United States over the TSA. Because what real Texan wants someone at the airport finding out how small his dick is? But isn't it odd that it only became a problem after Obama was reelected? Was Mitt Romney going to get rid of the metal detectors at the airport? Is it because they interfered with his titanium endoskeleton?

Or are Texans just chronic sore losers? There was another time they lost some battle, but I can't remember its name.


Just One Voice said...

They "LOVE" America; wrap themselves up in the red, white, and blue; write and sing songs about how proud they are to be Americans, swear up and down that there is no greater country on Earth (though most have never pierced our borders)... Yet, amidst something that is EXACTLY what this country is all about, what it was FOUNDED on (diversity of thought and spirit, tolerance of differing views and beliefs, and liberty and justice for all), they want out. Why? Because their views of liberty and diversity and tolerance only include those beliefs and ideals that THEY hold close and precious. To me, their America is much less of what we created 236 years ago and much more of what those who created it were fleeing.

Anonymous said...

I Agree with you "JUST ONE VOICE" . AMerica is alot less but here is why:
1. You are wrong the country was founded on CHRISTIANITY.
2. People now claim to be "ATHIEST" which means they are uneducated.
3. They kill babies instead of making intelligent decisions hey here is an idea: dont ket knocked up!
4 there are too many democrats.
5. People turn thier back on God. He loves everyone. more people need to acept him in thier lives. Help america dont hurt it.

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