Friday, October 20, 2012
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following
are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, October 20,
2012. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM
PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on
HBO and HBO 2.
This week’s format was a little different. Frist off, there were two debaters.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the second Presidential candidate debate
He
said he had binders of women made up. But first of all, who else keeps
binders of women? Serial killers. Every serial killer movie, the cops
bust into the serial killer’s lair and what do they find? Binders of
women…and then they open the freezer and a head falls out.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Romnye’s gaffe
The
Mormons had good news today. Billy Graham, who is 112, has taken
Mormonism off his website’s list of cults. This is typical of Christian
right’s stance on Mitt Romeny. They still believe he will go to Hell for
all eternity but in this life, they’d like a tax cut.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
These
are rights that are held in fifty other nations around the world. Even
really progressive countries like Russia and China have mandatory
labeling.
- Gary Hirshberg on Prop 37
We don’t have elections anymore, we have sales.
- Gary Hirshberg on elections
It
doesn’t matter who said what after those people died. What matters is
why wasn’t there enough protection on September 11, 2012?
- Boris Epshetyn on the attack on the US Embassy in Libya
That is what Mitt Romney represents. He is a kinder, gentler version of Gordon Gekko.
- Matt Taibbi
Most of the people who will be disenfranchised are black, Latino, young people; basically anyone that can dance.
- Bill Maher on voter fraud laws
This week's guests were Gary Hirshberg, Goldie Taylor, John Fund, Boris Epshetyn and Matt Taibbi.
Showing posts with label John Fund. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Fund. Show all posts
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Monday, May 24, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER” - MAY 21, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, May 21st, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
Every time this guy opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that liberal media stop quoting him in context.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue, regarding Rand Paul
Good news in the oil situation. BP said they found a way to start breaking up their oil slick. The bad news is it involves a toxic chemical called Corexit 9527A … Apparently this is moving us further from a solution and closer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Sunday, listen to this, they’re going to try something new. They’re going to try what they call a “top kill.” That’s where they shove a fluid that looks a lot like mud down into the well. I hope this works because the next idea involves Bruce Willis and an asteroid.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
General Electric is now recalling a million coffee makers because they, um, catch fire. Well, they said you have to admit that will wake you up and get you out of the house.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Gold has no intrinsic value. And if you’re really worried about, say inflation rising, I would by Spam. You know, you can eat Spam, you cannot eat gold.
- Economist Nouriel Roubini
New Rule: California, the state with the most debt and the most marijuana dispensaries must be allowed to avoid bankruptcy by selling weed to neighboring states. That's how we will get out of this budget crisis - by holding a "baked sale." It's the perfect solution. We needs the cash and Arizona needs to chill the f**k out.
- Bill Maher, in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Don’t put that in your mouth. A new study finds that dangerous drug-resistant staph infections in children have increased tenfold over the past decade. And for you little ones out there, the infection eats you alive and then you never see Mommy and Daddy again. And you get it from being on a plane and kicking the back of my seat.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Convenience stores can sell beer but they can’t make it. Yes, introducing 7-11’s own beer called Game Day, which can get you so drunk you might even buy one of those hot dogs that have been spinning since the Reagan administration.
- Bill Maher, in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Michael Eric Dyson, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, John Fund, Patton Oswalt and Nouriel Roubini
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, May 21st, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
Every time this guy opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that liberal media stop quoting him in context.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue, regarding Rand Paul
Good news in the oil situation. BP said they found a way to start breaking up their oil slick. The bad news is it involves a toxic chemical called Corexit 9527A … Apparently this is moving us further from a solution and closer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Sunday, listen to this, they’re going to try something new. They’re going to try what they call a “top kill.” That’s where they shove a fluid that looks a lot like mud down into the well. I hope this works because the next idea involves Bruce Willis and an asteroid.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
General Electric is now recalling a million coffee makers because they, um, catch fire. Well, they said you have to admit that will wake you up and get you out of the house.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Gold has no intrinsic value. And if you’re really worried about, say inflation rising, I would by Spam. You know, you can eat Spam, you cannot eat gold.
- Economist Nouriel Roubini
New Rule: California, the state with the most debt and the most marijuana dispensaries must be allowed to avoid bankruptcy by selling weed to neighboring states. That's how we will get out of this budget crisis - by holding a "baked sale." It's the perfect solution. We needs the cash and Arizona needs to chill the f**k out.
- Bill Maher, in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Don’t put that in your mouth. A new study finds that dangerous drug-resistant staph infections in children have increased tenfold over the past decade. And for you little ones out there, the infection eats you alive and then you never see Mommy and Daddy again. And you get it from being on a plane and kicking the back of my seat.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Convenience stores can sell beer but they can’t make it. Yes, introducing 7-11’s own beer called Game Day, which can get you so drunk you might even buy one of those hot dogs that have been spinning since the Reagan administration.
- Bill Maher, in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Michael Eric Dyson, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, John Fund, Patton Oswalt and Nouriel Roubini
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