King of the Hill

By Bill Maher

All the time now, I’m starting to hear, "The president had complete control of Congress for two years, and did everything he wanted." This is such bullshit. First of all, no president has that much control over senators. You really think Ben Nelson, whose state deplores Obama, really feels that much pressure to be loyal to him?

But the bigger issue is, it’s just factually wrong. Democrats had a "filibuster proof" majority in the senate for a very short period. It took Al Franken seven months to get seated because of the recount dispute, and by the time he was, Ted Kennedy was dying. So Democrats really only had 60 senators from September 24, 2009, when Kennedy’s replacement was named, until February 4^th, 2010, when Republican Scott Brown won the special election there. The senate was in session for just 72 days over that period, so that’s how long Obama had a real Democratic Congress -- 72 days, not two years.

Or, if you like charts:

111th Senate • Source: Wikipedia

One of the things that sucks is that Obama has never figured out a way to blame Congress for blocking things, presumably out of fear that it will make him appear weak. But how is he not running more against a Congress with a serial killer approval rating? He’s literally three or four times more popular than they are.

Violence Inflation

By Bill Maher

What happened to putting one in a guy's leg?

Because it's not like the movies. People don’t get shot and keep coming at you. They get shot and instantly fall to the ground and scream, "I'm fucking shot! You fucking shot me!!" And even if they do come at you again, you have certain advantages: one, you're not shot in the leg, and two, you've still got a gun with lots of bullets left in it. Often that carries the day. Just saying.

But recently we had another example of a cop in America shooting to kill because he felt vaguely threatened. Because the other guy had a gun? No. Because the other guy had a knife? No.

The other guy was an 18-year-old college student with no clothes on. And now he's dead. Yes, a campus police officer at the University of South Alabama fatally shot a naked freshman.

At 1:23 a.m. on a Saturday, someone was banging on the window of the police station. "When an officer exited the station to investigate, he was confronted by a muscular, nude man who was acting erratically," according to a statement from the university.

The police say he "repeatedly rushed the toward the officer…in a threatening manner." Threatening with what, his hard-on?

Sounds like a college student drunk or on mushrooms thought it'd be funny to mess with the campus police. Because campus police are one step below mall cops.

From there the police statement goes on to describe how the officer did everything by the book -- ordered the kid to halt, retreated, drew his weapon, retreated, but the naked teen wouldn't stop, so he had no choice but to shoot him in the chest and kill him. Yes, according to the university, this cop did absolutely everything required to avoid a lawsuit -- er, I mean, having to use deadly force.

Hasn't this gone too far? I mean, this kid was white, after all.

Weed the People

By Bill Maher

Here's a statement issued by LaToya Cantrell, who's running for New Orleans City Council, about her husband, Jason Cantrell, who's a New Orleans city prosecutor. See if you can guess what Jason did:

“I absolutely do not condone his actions. I love my husband unconditionally and am very concerned for his health and well-being, and for that of our family. I hope that this incident will encourage Jason to seek the professional help [he needs].”

Did Jason abuse a pet? Set up a hidden video camera in a Starbucks restroom? Get caught autoerotic-asphyxiating with a gay male prostitute? No. Jason Cantrell was talking to some cops in the courtroom where he works and when he went to pull something out of his pocket, a joint fell out. A single marijuana cigarette.

Jason was led out of the courtroom, cited by police, suspended without pay and eventually forced to resign from his city attorney job, which he's held for the past 17 years. Over a single marijuana cigarette.

So Jason Cantrell, public servant, like millions of other decent hardworking Americans, chooses to unwind with a benign plant rather than a glass of hard liquor. Fine, Jason, but now that we know about it, your life as you know it has to be over. We "encourage you to seek the professional help you need."

When the prosecutors themselves have loose joints dropping out of their pockets, isn't it clear that criminalizing people and destroying their careers over how they choose to change their headspace is a twisted, immoral disgrace?

Dry Me a River

By Bill Maher

Americans are willfully ignorant. If you give any credence to science whatsoever, you know global warming is happening. If you have eyes and nerve endings, you can see it and feel it. And yet, we somehow dismiss this crisis, this global emergency, as something we'll either think our way out of or Jesus will take care of. But what if Jesus' way of taking care of it is to slowly turn up the thermostat until we take a hint and get off our asses?

According to the U.S. Drought Monitor, 65 percent of America's mainland is experiencing some form of drought. In Michigan, hay has gotten so expensive people are abandoning their horses. In Colorado, Parks and Wildlife officials have had to destroy 30 "nuisance" bears because they've encroached on populated areas looking for food. In Missouri, over-dry soil is shifting, causing homes to crumble and crack. In New Mexico, ranchers are cutting their neighbors' fences so their cattle can graze. In Texas, water is so scarce Rick Perry’s been forced to grind up and snort his painkillers.

The U.S. Drought Monitor is produced in partnership between the National Drought Mitigation Center at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, the United States Department of Agriculture, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Map courtesy of NDMC-UNL.

 

"Droughts, floods, hurricanes and other extreme weather cost the U.S. economy at least $55 billion in 2011, according to NOAA, with 14 separate events exceeding $1 billion. The devastating drought and associated wildfires in Texas and Oklahoma alone cost American crop farmers $7.6 billion and the cotton and cattle industries around $5.4 billion."

There's a real, measurable economic cost. You'd think, for no other reason, greed would compel us to adjust how we live and make money in a way that would allow us to, well, continue to live and make money.

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" Oct. 19, 2012

Friday, October 20, 2012

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”

Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, October 20, 2012.  “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.

This week’s format was a little different. Frist off, there were two debaters.
-        Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the second Presidential candidate debate

He said he had binders of women made up. But first of all, who else keeps binders of women? Serial killers. Every serial killer movie, the cops bust into the serial killer’s lair and what do they find? Binders of women…and then they open the freezer and a head falls out.
-        Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Romnye’s gaffe

The Mormons had good news today. Billy Graham, who is 112, has taken Mormonism off his website’s list of cults. This is typical of Christian right’s stance on Mitt Romeny. They still believe he will go to Hell for all eternity but in this life, they’d like a tax cut.
-         Bill Maher in his opening monologue

These are rights that are held in fifty other nations around the world. Even really progressive countries like Russia and China have mandatory labeling.
-        Gary Hirshberg on Prop 37

We don’t have elections anymore, we have sales.
-        Gary Hirshberg on elections

It doesn’t matter who said what after those people died. What matters is why wasn’t there enough protection on September 11, 2012?
-        Boris Epshetyn on the attack on the US Embassy in Libya

That is what Mitt Romney represents. He is a kinder, gentler version of Gordon Gekko.
-        Matt Taibbi

Most of the people who will be disenfranchised are black, Latino, young people; basically anyone that can dance.
-        Bill Maher on voter fraud laws

This week's guests were Gary Hirshberg, Goldie Taylor, John Fund, Boris Epshetyn and Matt Taibbi.

HBO Overtime Sept. 12, 2012

 

 Bill and his roundtable guests (Ann Coulter, Ben Affleck, Sheila Bair, Brian Schweitzer and Darrell Issa) answer fan questions from last weeks show October 12, 2012.

Flying Killer Robots

By Bill Maher

There's been a lot of talk about the Obama administration's drone policy -- the one that was denied for years but now is begrudgingly acknowledged with the insistence that there have been no "conclusive" civilian casualties. Isn't America wonderful, developing an unmanned robotic plane that can shoot missiles into populated areas and kill only the bad guys? Why, it sounds almost too good to be true.

The Bureau of Investigative Journalism reports that the zero civilian casualty count claimed by the Obama administration is a little, let’s say, hopeful -- the number is more likely between 474-884 killed in Pakistan alone since 2004 -- with over a thousand more people injured.

And a Stanford/NYU report says our drone strikes have had a "damaging and counter-productive effect" and have likely resulted in civilian Pakistanis being less likely to help us find and eliminate terrorists.

In a recent poll, three out of every four Pakistanis said they now consider the United States an enemy. The other one out of four recognized the pollster as American and cut off his head. And who can blame them? Imagine living under the constant threat of imminent demise -- like that new sitcom about men with babies.

The study says,

"Drones hover 24 hours a day over communities in northwest Pakistan, striking homes, vehicles and public spaces without warning… Those living under drones have to face the constant worry that a deadly strike may be fired at any moment, and the knowledge that they are powerless to protect themselves."

You may argue that waging war with machines where you get to kill the enemy and anyone standing near them without bodily risk to yourself is immoral. But so is terrorism. On the other hand, are we just repeatedly whacking the beehive with a stick and creating more enemies who want to sting?