Thursday, April 7, 2011

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" Mar. 18, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER

Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, March 18, 2011. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.

Just be happy that something traveled 5000 miles across the Pacific and for once, it wasn’t your job.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding trace amounts of radiation reaching California

Sarah Palin finally heard what happened to Japan and she’s demanding that we invade Tsunami.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

It’s probably too late but the U.N. has authorized a no-fly zone and Obama is on board. Republicans don’t know what to do with this. They wanted this to happen, so it is good. But now Obama wants it, so it’s bad. And it involves bombing Muslims so it is good, but it involves the U.N., which is bad. In fact, today, Fox News was just a test pattern with the message, “Please be patient while we figure out how this makes Obama the worst President ever.”
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue

I do come from Jerusalem but prophecy isn’t my strong point.
- Ambassador Micahel Oren when asked if more democracy was possible in the Middle East

When you say ‘freezing settlements’ it’s kind of like a Palestinian cease-fire; which is really just another way of saying reloading.
- Bill Maher

The right wing always is so afraid of gay people getting married but really, if they really don’t like gay people, they should let them get married because no one suffers as much as married people.
- Annabelle Gurwitch

New Rule: If your organization’s job is to talk to the government about guns, when the President invites you to talk about guns…go. This week, Obama invited the NRA to the White House and their CEO said no, “Why, should the NRA sit down with people that have spent a lifetime trying to destroy the Second Amendment?” Here’s why, Dumbass McBang-Bang, because talking is how grownups resolve differences. It’s our version of shooting.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

New Rule: While you’re telling me how your March Madness bracket is doing, also fill me in on your vacation and show me pictures of your kids. That way, I cannot give a shit all at once.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

This week's guests were Ambassador Michael Oren, Erica Williams, Richard Belzer, Dan Neil and Annabelle Gurwitch.

89 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Second Amendment says:
"..the people...."
The people--not militiamen soldiers--have the right to keep and bear arms. I find it especially illuminating that the Founding Fathers considered this right second in importance only to the right of free speech.

Switzerland, for example, insists that every male of military age must keep a powerful, fully-automatic rifle in his home.Every home must be armed, by law. Some even keep rocket launchers, grenades, and mortars. Yet Switzerland has one of the most law-abiding people, the lowest crime rate, the least violence of any country in the world, and has remained free for over a thousand years; and no wonder! What thief, what robber, what murderer, what rapist, would dare to attempt to enter a home where the owner possessed a 3.5-inch rocket launcher, an automatic rifle, and maybe a mortar?Not to mention hand grenades.

Now, for your information, over 99% of all guns in America are owned by honest citizens.Robert A. Heinlein states:
"An armed society is a polite society."
And he is absolutely correct.

Bill Cooper, 18 October 1994

Anonymous said...

BILL MAHER FOR PRESIDENT !!!!

Anonymous said...

Adolf Hitler was the head of the National >>Socialist<< party. In 1938 he disarmed the German people, then promptly dispatched them to hell.
Do we learn anything?

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The Genius Thomas Jefferson said...

A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks.

Anonymous said...

When the tea party said they was going to hurt some people it was a reference to the gov brain wave machine they torture you with no chip is needed hooks up to your brain likes its a cell phone.I have been talking this way for 18 years,S palin said they live in your brain rent free.POINT MAN

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Sisi Shibui said...

Hee Bill are you looking for a cute muslim girl from holland ?

I <3 ur shows, plzzz call me : )

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PANOS said...

THE LAMP OF THE BODY

From the early years of mankind, when the animal was jumping to man,
he, as a last chance to save his life,
nails a look at a specific point between the eyes of the animal,
the Glory to the Father point !

The animal is frightened, scared, mad!
"Does man have such strength???" ... thought the animal!

Unfortunately or fortunately this happens between people too.
In any case, it is painful for both people!
The "victim" responds unpredictably and with consequences.
The "perpetrator", although "authoritarian" feels guilty,
he knows the power of this gaze, but fails to see the eyes of the victim,
as he is looking always only between them!


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Anonymous said...

New Rule: Emperor Margh decrees absolute gun control. Silly grasshoppers. If you want to save your ass, learn kung fu.
Better hurry

Anonymous said...

Guns make it possible for smart. intelligent people to defend themselves from powerful, mindless animals. Your idealistic friends are out of touch, you're siding with the brutes.

The facts reveal a different story. Wherever gun control has been imposed, crime rates go up, because only the crooks have guns. Look at the stats for NYC, the gun control capitol of America.

If you talk to the honest, intelligent cops they prefer an armed citizenry, since their job is primarily cleaning up the tragedy after the fact.

You know who wants us disarmed? Criminals.

Andy Freedman said...

Bill it's me your MySpace friend Myspace.com/atomicandy1 Andy Freedman While it obviously is illegal for anyone to assault a woman.There also are sexual harassment regulations which are enforced by the E.E.O.C. But it obviously is not illegal on a Public street for a man to approach a woman and nonviolently speak to her ask for her number e.t.c.Because any form of Physical aggressiveness or indecent behavior is already illegal what reason would there be to try and ban speech?.Ihollaback.org a Feminist Organization wants to try and make sexual harassment regulations which limit how manytimes Men nonviolently and Peacefully speak to Women in Offcies enforced on every street corner Men who hang out on a corner and ask a women for her number can be arrested?

In an incredible betrayal of Principles the ACLU because this is a Left not Right way to make the society more corporate and Women's organizations donate heavily to the ACLU have announced they support arresting Men for asking for dates the ACLU supports street harrasment regulations I have enclosed below this text what the ACLU put on their own blog because it is already illegal to touch a woman without her consent this is propoganda to justify the ACLU's support of UnConstitutional "Street harrasment" regulations

Posted by Robyn Shepherd, ACLU at 10:56am
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

Just A Smack On The Ass: A Tale Of Sexual Assault, Vengeance And Nervous Swearing

Last month, the ACLU's Louise Melling blogged about how street harassment shames and humiliates women, and is underreported because of the stigma attached to it. While that blog was making the editing rounds here at the office, I shared my own story of how I dealt with a particularly obnoxious harasser, and my esteemed colleagues suggested I share it. Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, after all, here it is. And there's gonna be swearing. I'm really sorry in advance (Mom).
Last month, the ACLU's Louise Melling blogged about how street harassment shames and humiliates women, and is underreported because of the stigma attached to it. While that blog was making the editing rounds here at the office, I shared my own story of how I dealt with a particularly obnoxious harasser, and my esteemed colleagues suggested I share it. Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month
I was walking to work last April, listening to a friend's CD and not thinking of much besides that I was a little late to work, and really ought to hustle to make my train. A dude passed me as I walked, and I didn't think much of that either.
All of a sudden...WHAM! Dude WALLOPED me on the backside and ran off.


Blog Home | ACLU.org | About the ACLU | Take Action | Join the ACLU | Your Local ACLU | Contact

Andy Freedman said...

Bill it's me your MySpace friend Myspace.com/atomicandy1 Andy Freedman While it obviously is illegal for anyone to assault a woman.There also are sexual harassment regulations which are enforced by the E.E.O.C. But it obviously is not illegal on a Public street for a man to approach a woman and nonviolently speak to her ask for her number e.t.c.Because any form of Physical aggressiveness or indecent behavior is already illegal what reason would there be to try and ban speech?.Ihollaback.org a Feminist Organization wants to try and make sexual harassment regulations which limit how manytimes Men nonviolently and Peacefully speak to Women in Offices enforced on every street corner Men who hang out on a corner and ask a women for her number can be arrested?

In an incredible betrayal of Principles the ACLU because this is a Left not Right way to make the society more corporate and Women's organizations donate heavily to the ACLU have announced they support arresting Men for asking for dates the ACLU supports street harrasment regulations I have enclosed below this text what the ACLU put on their own blog because it is already illegal to touch a woman without her consent this is propoganda to justify the ACLU's support of UnConstitutional "Street harrasment" regulations

Posted by Robyn Shepherd, ACLU at 10:56am
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

Just A Smack On The Ass: A Tale Of Sexual Assault, Vengeance And Nervous Swearing

Last month, the ACLU's Louise Melling blogged about how street harassment shames and humiliates women, and is underreported because of the stigma attached to it. While that blog was making the editing rounds here at the office, I shared my own story of how I dealt with a particularly obnoxious harasser, and my esteemed colleagues suggested I share it. Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, after all, here it is. And there's gonna be swearing. I'm really sorry in advance (Mom).
I was walking to work last April, listening to a friend's CD and not thinking of much besides that I was a little late to work, and really ought to hustle to make my train. A dude passed me as I walked, and I didn't think much of that either.
All of a sudden...WHAM! Dude WALLOPED me on the backside and ran off.

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wtomion said...

I'm writing in support of Mr. Maher's comments supporting Freedom Of Speech. I've seen the left wing advertisements calling for the silencing of Rush Limbaugh and I can not agree with them.I have nothing but contempt for Mr. Limbaugh's misogynistic,racist, and fascistic rhetoric but that doesn't mean that we go ahead and practice a form of arbitrary censorship.If you really want to be free, you have to accept freedom for those that you despise and disagree with,....or, its not really freedom.

cdancy said...

have you considered having President or Michelle Obama on your show?

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If you're a good muslim, you slap your head against the ground many times every day. if you're a good jew, you bang your head against the wall. If you're christian, you smack other people's heads against the wall, the ground, your cruiser, the curb, the bars or the park bench they were sleeping on. If you're a good christian, they also let you steal & lie. Christianity is based on all other religions, its just bigger.
This is why I'm sure L Ron Hubbard was mental. He would have been a great cardinal, maybe even pope. But he could never see that he chose wrong.

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