By Bill Maher
The Mayan Apocalypse fizzled, but conservatives are still terrified that the end is near.
I visited several of the most heavily trafficked right-wing web sites
today, as I am wont to do on a blustery day in January, and I was
struck not by the stories, but by the ads. The ads are all survivalist
companies: gold coin makers, freeze-dried food suppliers, "free energy"
Here's another ad with a dire message.
Dust bowls? Mass riots? Shit, Martha, get the shotgun out of the
attic! Honestly, I'm still not sure what this ad was selling; ten
minutes into the video they still hadn't told me and I gave up.
But whatever happens, I’ll be prepared, thanks to this other ad for Wayne LaPierre's new survival manual, Safe.
Thanks to Wayne, I now know how to protect my family from the rioting
black hordes looking for the canned goods I've hidden in my bomb
shelter/panic room/man cave.
These ads point out the biggest problem facing the GOP today, which
is that its base is extremely fearful, extremely gullible, and way out
of step with the vast majority of Americans. I mean, do you
know anyone who lies awake at night worried that America is going to run
out of food? If so, tell them to relax -- most Americans have enough
fat stored in their adipose tissue to last them through three or four
potato famines anyway.