Friday, January 18, 2013

End of Daze

By Bill Maher

The Mayan Apocalypse fizzled, but conservatives are still terrified that the end is near.
I visited several of the most heavily trafficked right-wing web sites today, as I am wont to do on a blustery day in January, and I was struck not by the stories, but by the ads. The ads are all survivalist companies: gold coin makers, freeze-dried food suppliers, "free energy" machine manufacturers...

 Free energy: the oldest, corniest, hokiest confidence scheme in the history of the world, and yet people still fall for it.

Here's another ad with a dire message.

Dust bowls?  Mass riots?  Shit, Martha, get the shotgun out of the attic! Honestly, I'm still not sure what this ad was selling; ten minutes into the video they still hadn't told me and I gave up.

But whatever happens, I’ll be prepared, thanks to this other ad for Wayne LaPierre's new survival manual, Safe.

Thanks to Wayne, I now know how to protect my family from the rioting black hordes looking for the canned goods I've hidden in my bomb shelter/panic room/man cave.

These ads point out the biggest problem facing the GOP today, which is that its base is extremely fearful, extremely gullible, and way out of step with the vast majority of Americans. I mean, do you know anyone who lies awake at night worried that America is going to run out of food? If so, tell them to relax -- most Americans have enough fat stored in their adipose tissue to last them through three or four potato famines anyway.


Wayne said...

Fear-mongers prey on the gullible to promote their power; it is the reason we have religions and far-right wing-nuts like that Wayne Lapierre guy. Unfortunately a by-product of the Internet is the spread of irrational 'conspiracy' theories and neurotic fears, and outright scams.
-FFS you'd think in this modern scientific age a modicum of intelligence would prevail on the right of center. It's frankly embarrassing.

Anonymous said...

Bill if you loved those ads you should really watch an episode of Doomsday Preppers!

Anonymous said...

It seems Americans have a problem discovering what real security is!
War of 1812 Canadian troops scorch your White House with your own matches. 2001 Al-Queda operatives Take down your world trade centre with your own planes. What's next? A boots on the ground assault by extremists using your own guns? They could come through your security checks packing nothing but money and BUY their assault weapons at the nearest trade show or have some American sympathizer buy them for them. DUH! I would expect most Americans would like to keep their own guns out of the hands of their enemies, but without background checks or limits on purchases all of the people the right doesn't like will also be arming themselves to the teeth! I think your homeland security needs 1 important update! I would like Bill to pose that scenario to and NRA spokesman.

Sarah said...

Wayne - too true, mate, too true. Their time is short.

Kandice Moore said...

Here's one for your show free, on me. But you can mention my name if you want..."OMG I watched a whole season of Breaking Bad on Netflix instead of the InNegroNation, I'm sorry, Inauguration today. The NAACP called. They want their membership invite back. A whole month of this shit. Buckle Up Bitches!!!!!" Kandice Moore Look me up for more, I'd love to write for you.

Anonymous said...

kandice moore, i don't have the faintest idea what you are saying. I understand (almost) everything Bill Maher says. The joke is .... Negro is funny, right? and BM would hire you because you are racist.....?

Anonymous said...

You know Bill you have a great show and make some interesting observations. But you can also make some of the most staggering dumb ass comments I've ever heard. Last week you commented on "scare tactics" of the of them being the flu. "the flu...big deal..I took a tylenol and it was know who the flu kills? ...old people...because they were going to die anyway"...One world class dumb fucking statement. Stick to topics you know better, infectious diseases and epidemiology is not one of them.

duckdawdger said...

The problem here is as Voltaire said, those who can make us believe absurdities can make us commit atrocities. The tea party pro anarchy diatribe could possibly lead to that exact consequence should a military assault weapons ban lead to confrontations when enforcement comes to these survivalists. Seems the far right (and the testudinidial Mitch McConnell in his recent "we are surrounded" email) are fomenting an insurgency.

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