Friday, February 10, 2012
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 10, 2012. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
Rick Santorum…the little creep that could.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Poor Mitt Romney, he’s got the money, he’s got the organization, he’s got the name recognition. He’s got one weakness, an inability to get votes.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Rick Santorum is against birth control, he’s against ordaining women as priests, he thinks two women kissing is immoral. See, this is the difference between me and Rick Santorum; neither one of us got a lot of dates in high school but I just didn’t spend the rest of my life taking it out on women.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
You have to be careful not to do things that will not topple a regime but are likely to get more people killed. You can make a case for arming the rebels in Syria if they had a realistic chance of military success as the rebels in Libya did once they had NATO and air force. But in Syria, you don’t have the critical mass, you don’t have the territory.
- Peter Galbraith
This was intended to stir up the culture wars. This was intended to get the donors, folks who are socially liberal, a lot of female independents for who this is a very big voting issue, to come out in force.
- Reihan Salam on the contraception controversy
Over twenty states are already doing this, the fact that Massachusetts was doing this even when Mitt Romney was governor, this is nothing new. The problem with this is that the President of the United States’ name is Obama and he proposed it. If he proposed anything, they would be against it.
- Rev. Al Sharpton on Republican response to the contraception controversy
Let’s just call Valentine’s Day what it is, a ‘flowers for blow jobs exchange program.’
- Bill Maher
There would be a lot more resolution on this issue if at least one state voted for it in a referendum.
- Maurice ‘Mo’ Rocca on legalizing gay marriage
You would have tyranny by the majority; you cannot have rights voted on.
- Rev. Al Sharpton on whether or not gay marriage should be voted on by the people
If you have a company that’s failing and you give it a fifty billion dollar gift and then you give it a twenty billion dollar tax break on top of that, it’s gonna make the balance sheet look a lot better.
- Reihan Salam on the claim the automotive industry is succeeding
New Rule: It is not a tell-all if we already knew. Thanks, woman who’s come forward fifty years later to ell us JFK liked to get laid. Good to know. And thanks especially for the details, like how he once made you blow his friend. Which confirms my long held theory of a second shooter.
- Bill Maher in his ‘New Rules’ segment
New Rule: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone must drop the story that they were both in the hospital for shoulder replacement surgeries and admit they're part of a super-secret experiment to create a Republican who can beat Obama. Sylvestenegger will combine the patriotism of Rambo with the indestructability of The Terminator. Scientists are looking for a third donor to provide the brain but in the meantime, are confident he can capture the nomination as is.
- Bill Maher in his ‘New Rules’ segment
This week's guests were Peter W. Galbraith, Rev. Al Sharpton, Zanny Minton Beddoes, Reihan Salam and Maurice “Mo” Rocca.
Showing posts with label Al Sharpton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Al Sharpton. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Friday, October 15, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" Oct 15, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, October 15, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
A very joyous week. A week where the whole world was watching a bunch of men trying to climb out of a hole they dug for themselves…but enough about the Democrats. Let’s talk about those Chilean miners.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Michael Jackson could have come back from the dead with Jesus and you wouldn’t have seen it on TV this week. Americans love Chilean miners. I haven’t seen so much hoopla about an endless procession emerging from a scary hole since…the Octomom.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
One guy had four women waiting for him; there was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the release of the Chilean miners
They asked her to name a Supreme Court case that she disagreed with; she said Kramer vs. Kramer.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Delaware debate between candidates Christine O’Donnell and Chris Coons
The Obama administration had quite a day today annihilating the people who might vote for them. They appealed the ruling striking down “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” even though they are supposed to be for striking it down. And then they said even if California legalized pot, the feds would still come in and bust people. But in fairness to Obama, it is an election year and Democrats can’t afford to be seen being for freedom or equality.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
He convinced Newt Gingrich and I to go on tour together. That’s how much he believes in bringing people together.
- Rev. Al Sharpton regarding President Obama
People earn what society is willing to pay them. We have multi-millionaire athletes because people…will go and pay $80, $90, $100, $150, $200 for a sports ticket. But yet, at the same time they don’t want to put that sort of effort on backing within our educational system and our teachers don’t make as much. This is a societal problem. People value entertainment more than they do their kids’ education.
- Dana Loesch
New Rule: I'm all against bullying, but the makers of Glee can't promise to fight back with a special episode about the problems of gay teenagers since every episode of Glee is about the problems of gay teenagers. It's like making a special episode of "House" where someone gets a weird disease, everyone misdiagnoses it, and then House shits on them and figures it out.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Jerry Brown must stop apologizing for being in the same room when someone called Meg Whitman a whore. If you wanna see a woman really get mad, compare a whore to Meg Whitman.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were the Rev. Al Sharpton, John Legend, Dana Loesch, Markos Moulitsas and Dan Neil.
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, October 15, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
A very joyous week. A week where the whole world was watching a bunch of men trying to climb out of a hole they dug for themselves…but enough about the Democrats. Let’s talk about those Chilean miners.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Michael Jackson could have come back from the dead with Jesus and you wouldn’t have seen it on TV this week. Americans love Chilean miners. I haven’t seen so much hoopla about an endless procession emerging from a scary hole since…the Octomom.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
One guy had four women waiting for him; there was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the release of the Chilean miners
They asked her to name a Supreme Court case that she disagreed with; she said Kramer vs. Kramer.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Delaware debate between candidates Christine O’Donnell and Chris Coons
The Obama administration had quite a day today annihilating the people who might vote for them. They appealed the ruling striking down “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” even though they are supposed to be for striking it down. And then they said even if California legalized pot, the feds would still come in and bust people. But in fairness to Obama, it is an election year and Democrats can’t afford to be seen being for freedom or equality.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
He convinced Newt Gingrich and I to go on tour together. That’s how much he believes in bringing people together.
- Rev. Al Sharpton regarding President Obama
People earn what society is willing to pay them. We have multi-millionaire athletes because people…will go and pay $80, $90, $100, $150, $200 for a sports ticket. But yet, at the same time they don’t want to put that sort of effort on backing within our educational system and our teachers don’t make as much. This is a societal problem. People value entertainment more than they do their kids’ education.
- Dana Loesch
New Rule: I'm all against bullying, but the makers of Glee can't promise to fight back with a special episode about the problems of gay teenagers since every episode of Glee is about the problems of gay teenagers. It's like making a special episode of "House" where someone gets a weird disease, everyone misdiagnoses it, and then House shits on them and figures it out.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Jerry Brown must stop apologizing for being in the same room when someone called Meg Whitman a whore. If you wanna see a woman really get mad, compare a whore to Meg Whitman.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were the Rev. Al Sharpton, John Legend, Dana Loesch, Markos Moulitsas and Dan Neil.
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