Friday, April 30, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, April 30th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue regarding the oil spill on the Gulf of Mexico
This is the plan is to contain the oil slick with fire-retardant beams, and then set fire to the oil that pools on the surface. They say if it works there in the Gulf, they’re going to try it on the cast of Jersey Shore.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
It was just a crappy week for America. The oil spill making a huge mess, and Arizona deporting all the people who mop up.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue
And finally New Rule: Although America likes to think it’s #1, we have to admit we’re behind the developing world in at least one thing: Their religious wackos are a lot more wacko than ours. When “South Park” got threatened last week by Islamists incensed at their depiction of Mohammed, it served—or should—as a reminder to all of us that our culture isn’t just different than one that makes death threats to cartoonists. It’s better.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
And unlike the Koran, no one here seriously considers following the bible literally – guys don’t look over their fence on Sunday morning and see a neighbor mowing the lawn and think, “Working on a Sunday? I really should kill him.”
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
For centuries, you either joined the church or you were killed. Nowadays when a Jehovah’s Witness comes to the door, you turn the garden hose on them.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Chris Matthews, Laura Tyson, Ross Douthat, Congressman Anthony Weiner and John Bolton.
Showing posts with label Ross Douthat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ross Douthat. Show all posts
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Saturday, August 15, 2009
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - AUGUST 14 2009
Friday, August 14th, 2009
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER"
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, August 14th, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
Even after Obama took time out to painstakingly explain that there were no death panels, Sarah Palin fired back with a resounding ‘nut uh.’
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
It does seem to me a tad ironic that she’s [Sarah Palin] so against killing old people considering she’s the one who smothered the life out of the McCain campaign.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
One way to tell your party is a bunch of pussies is when you are bullied by a chick on Facebook.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Democrats and Sarah Palin
We ought to change our motto from E Pluribus Unum to I Am Sam.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the intelligence of the American people
Michael Vick is back in the NFL. He said today he never killed any dogs. He was merely counseling them on end of life issues.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Democrats and Sarah Palin
You have to be either brave or stupid.
- Brad Pitt on why guests appear on “Real Time with Bill Maher”
Don’t you think that having the experience the Clintons went through and understanding that this was going to be controversial, they should have initiated an information campaign upfront so they could have pre-empted many of these arguments, these stories and these falsehoods?
- Anthony Zinni on Obama’s ill-prepared roll out of the new Health Care Bill
Nobody was calling the UK and Canada, who both have free health care or public health care; we weren’t calling them socialists when we were asking them to come help fight a war in Iraq and Afghanistan for freedom and democracy.
- Ashton Kutcher
We have reached a point where the Republican Party is down to such a core that the special interest groups aren’t actually that interested in the Republican Party anymore.
- Ross Douthat
Declaring war on terrorism would have been like Woodrow Wilson declaring war on U-boat attacks. It is a tactic and is ridiculous and so we were chasing the symptom of a greater problem.
- Anthony Zinni
New Rule: Stop acting shocked that a guy who made his living selling chemicals died of a drug overdose. He sold a white powder that solves all your problems really, really fast. The only difference between cocaine and Oxyclean is cocaine worked.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: If you’re stuck on a plane that’s not moving for more than five hours, you get to punch a baby.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were General Anthony Zinni, Ashton Kutcher, Ross Douthat, Dana Gould and Brad Pitt.
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER"
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, August 14th, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
Even after Obama took time out to painstakingly explain that there were no death panels, Sarah Palin fired back with a resounding ‘nut uh.’
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
It does seem to me a tad ironic that she’s [Sarah Palin] so against killing old people considering she’s the one who smothered the life out of the McCain campaign.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
One way to tell your party is a bunch of pussies is when you are bullied by a chick on Facebook.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Democrats and Sarah Palin
We ought to change our motto from E Pluribus Unum to I Am Sam.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the intelligence of the American people
Michael Vick is back in the NFL. He said today he never killed any dogs. He was merely counseling them on end of life issues.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding the Democrats and Sarah Palin
You have to be either brave or stupid.
- Brad Pitt on why guests appear on “Real Time with Bill Maher”
Don’t you think that having the experience the Clintons went through and understanding that this was going to be controversial, they should have initiated an information campaign upfront so they could have pre-empted many of these arguments, these stories and these falsehoods?
- Anthony Zinni on Obama’s ill-prepared roll out of the new Health Care Bill
Nobody was calling the UK and Canada, who both have free health care or public health care; we weren’t calling them socialists when we were asking them to come help fight a war in Iraq and Afghanistan for freedom and democracy.
- Ashton Kutcher
We have reached a point where the Republican Party is down to such a core that the special interest groups aren’t actually that interested in the Republican Party anymore.
- Ross Douthat
Declaring war on terrorism would have been like Woodrow Wilson declaring war on U-boat attacks. It is a tactic and is ridiculous and so we were chasing the symptom of a greater problem.
- Anthony Zinni
New Rule: Stop acting shocked that a guy who made his living selling chemicals died of a drug overdose. He sold a white powder that solves all your problems really, really fast. The only difference between cocaine and Oxyclean is cocaine worked.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: If you’re stuck on a plane that’s not moving for more than five hours, you get to punch a baby.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were General Anthony Zinni, Ashton Kutcher, Ross Douthat, Dana Gould and Brad Pitt.
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