QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - SEPT. 11 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009



QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, September 11th, 2009. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.



It is of course the eighth anniversary of 9/11 and Americans today stopped, as they should, and reflected, whatever they were doing, just to sit there, reflect, do nothing, say nothing, just like Bush did eight years ago when he got the news.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



This was very encouraging for our country. At the World Trade Center site, Joe Biden observed a moment of silence, showing Americans really can do anything.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



This was the week when the President made his big healthcare speech to Congress, making it the second time in the week that he addressed a bunch of children.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



I know the President is black, but this is not "Showtime at the Apollo."

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue, regarding Rep. Joe Wilson’s conduct at the President’s address to Congress



Nancy Pelosi was so shocked, she took out her compact and drew in her eyebrows all furrowed.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue, regarding Rep. Joe Wilson’s conduct at the President’s address to Congress



Joe Wilson, to be fair, the next day, he did apologize. He said he didn’t mean to say, “You lie,” he meant to say, "Go back to Africa!"

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Of course, what's so ironic is that the healthcare plan that Mr. Wilson so angrily opposes would get him the Prozac he so desperately needs.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue





The next day, Sarah Palin on her Facebook page said you know what, she still believes in death panels. You know what, Sarah, honey, if we were going to get rid of useless people, you would be the first to know.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



The people who took their kids out of school to avoid the President, they need to go back to school.

- Paul Rieckhoff



It was fun to say it to Kathie Lee Gifford’s face and watch her head explode when I said I wanted to outsell the Bible … There’s not one Brooke Shields story in there, which my book has Brooke Shields stories. There’s no plastic surgery photos in the Bible. It sucks.

- Kathy Griffin



New Rule: Next time President Obama addresses America's school children, he has to tell them they're obese and that they should get off drugs. Or otherwise they'll grow up to be Rush Limbaugh.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: Stop with Michelle Obama's arms. Women are clamoring for the new issue of "Women's Health" magazine where Michelle's trainer tells how you can get her guns in just nine minutes a day. But I don't buy that because First Lady Laura Bush's arms never got that cut and she spent eight years holding onto a dumbbell.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were Rep. Anthony Weiner, Richard Clarke, Rajiv Chandrasekaran, Paul Rieckhoff and Kathy Griffin.