Friday, September 24, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, September 24th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
There’s nothing about what really, you know, is bothering people, especially on that side of the aisle, how to cut the deficit or decrease spending, it’s just about kicking out Mexicans, keeping Guantanamo open, getting rid of health insurance for sick kids, you know, feel-good stuff.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue, regarding the Republicans “Pledge to America”
It was a very good week for getting absolutely nothing done in Congress. They blocked, the Republicans did, the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. We thought this was going to be a done deal. I don’t know what their problem is with Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Even if it is repealed, there will still be a major American institution where gays are still forced to hide in shame and secrecy: The Republican party.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue
They’re giving up on their tax cuts for the middle class until after the election. … Have they seen the polls? Planning to do this after the election. This is like a condemned man asking for a doggie bag at the last meal.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue
Christine O’Donnell in Delaware … There are a lot of questions now about her use of campaign funds and not paying her taxes and not paying her mortgage. And on top of that, some asshole outed her as a witch.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue
Let me just say to the Wiccans, who are the witch people out there, cause they’re on my case: It wasn’t me, Wiccans, who conflated witches with Satanic stuff, that was Christine did that. I know that Satan worshippers and witches are not the same thing. So please, change my assistant back into a human. Would ya please? It’s funny for a while, but chickens can’t type.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue
The one thing that’s definitely true is there’s certainly a cover-up. I mean, I wouldn’t speak on whether they had some CIA operative waiting in a bush to shoot his ass … I think it’s criminal for sure.
- Richard Tillman, brother of killed soldier Pat Tillman, about his brother’s death
What’s the morality of passing legislation that is now keeping businesses from hiring new employees and not offering jobs that would even give the healthcare coverage.
- Amy Holmes, regarding healthcare reform
We don’t need those tax cuts … I personally don’t need those tax cuts.
- Seth MacFarlane, regarding repealing the Bush tax cuts for the rich
The American people didn’t have the ability to debate the issue … They didn’t debate it for a year. People said we will not talk about it with you. They shoved union members into the front of the town halls. They beat people up.
- Andrew Breitbart, regarding healthcare reform
When we invaded Iraq, we invited the UK to come fight with us. We invited France. We invited Germany. Every one of those armies had openly gay soldiers serving in the military. The only other country that didn’t, besides us, was the Iraqi army.
- Seth MacFarlane
Clip from “Politically Incorrect 10/15/98
Panel: Christine O’Donnell, Dee Snider, John Fugelsang, Eddie McClurg.
Christine O’Donnell: You know what evolution, evolution is a myth. Even
Darwin himself…
Maher: Evolution is a myth? Have you ever looked at a monkey?
O’Donnell: Then why aren’t they, why aren’t monkeys still evolving into
humans.?
John Fugelsang: It takes a long time.
- Clip is available upon request
New Rule: Never let your children take an overnight trip with a holy man who wears more than two pieces of jewelry. Atlanta’s gay-bashing Bishop Eddie Long has been accused of buying cars for teenage boys, then inviting them to New Zealand and molesting them, in what authorities are calling “the worst Oprah surprise of all time.” Which leads me to: New Rule: If your minister says being gay is bad, or a sin, or an evil temptation, or has any opinion on it stronger than “who gives a shit,” your minister is gay.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: If they’re going to make a historical epic, full of British actors, in period costumes, about Queen Elizabeth helping her father get over his speech impediment, why bother having the Oscars at all? You win. Unless someone in America is making a movie where Meryl Streep teaches Anne Frank how to box, we give up.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Richard Tillman, Andrew Breitbart, Amy Holmes, Seth MacFarlane, and Ann Druyan.
Showing posts with label Seth MacFarlane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seth MacFarlane. Show all posts
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - FEB 19, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 19th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
We’ve been on a long break and I’ve just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that’s the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
The reason that we aren’t changing things right now is that the banks have lobbyists in Washington in numbers I’ve never seen.
- Elizabeth Warren, Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel on TARP
The party out of power believes that they can get back into power by running against government and being the party of “no”.
- Norah O’Donnell
Fundamental reform doesn’t come from bipartisanship. And it seems to me, bipartisanship has become appeasement. Barack Obama won an election based on a set of principles. Fight for them.
- Eliot Spitzer
Any Republican who wants to filibuster now should be required to stand up and read aloud from Twilight.
- Seth MacFarlane
We’ve had our fair share of Bush jokes.
- Seth MacFarlane in response to Bill’s comment that he’s been making fun of the retarded for years
It’s not going to make the military soft or anything. I mean, they’re soldiers. We’re talking, yea, they’re gay, but we’re not talking Ru Paul, Elton John gay, we’re talking “Brokeback Mountain” gay.
- Wanda Sykes regarding “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
New Rule: Just because you can get pregnant, doesn’t mean you must get pregnant. The pregnant man is pregnant for a third time. You know, if you have a beard and a mustache and you have a baby every ten months you’re not a pregnant man, you’re an Italian woman.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Stop calling “The Tea Party” phenomenon a “Movement”. To be a real political movement, you have to, well, move toward some specific legislative goal. The Suffrage Movement, for example, gained voting rights for women, the Civil Rights Movement outlawed discrimination against blacks, and the Gay Rights Movement brought us the Winter Olympics.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Eliot Spitzer, Seth MacFarlane, Norah O’Donnell, Wanda Sykes and Elizabeth Warren.
QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 19th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
We’ve been on a long break and I’ve just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that’s the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue
The reason that we aren’t changing things right now is that the banks have lobbyists in Washington in numbers I’ve never seen.
- Elizabeth Warren, Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel on TARP
The party out of power believes that they can get back into power by running against government and being the party of “no”.
- Norah O’Donnell
Fundamental reform doesn’t come from bipartisanship. And it seems to me, bipartisanship has become appeasement. Barack Obama won an election based on a set of principles. Fight for them.
- Eliot Spitzer
Any Republican who wants to filibuster now should be required to stand up and read aloud from Twilight.
- Seth MacFarlane
We’ve had our fair share of Bush jokes.
- Seth MacFarlane in response to Bill’s comment that he’s been making fun of the retarded for years
It’s not going to make the military soft or anything. I mean, they’re soldiers. We’re talking, yea, they’re gay, but we’re not talking Ru Paul, Elton John gay, we’re talking “Brokeback Mountain” gay.
- Wanda Sykes regarding “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
New Rule: Just because you can get pregnant, doesn’t mean you must get pregnant. The pregnant man is pregnant for a third time. You know, if you have a beard and a mustache and you have a baby every ten months you’re not a pregnant man, you’re an Italian woman.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: Stop calling “The Tea Party” phenomenon a “Movement”. To be a real political movement, you have to, well, move toward some specific legislative goal. The Suffrage Movement, for example, gained voting rights for women, the Civil Rights Movement outlawed discrimination against blacks, and the Gay Rights Movement brought us the Winter Olympics.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Eliot Spitzer, Seth MacFarlane, Norah O’Donnell, Wanda Sykes and Elizabeth Warren.
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