Friday, November 30, 2012

God Hates Flags

By Bill Maher

Another way angry old white men have been protesting Obama seizing power through "democracy" is by flying the flag upside down. Which is so fucking chicky it gives me contact-embarrassment. "Take that, Mr. Big Shot, with your fancy 'getting-the-most-votes.' I'm taking this flag and throwing a drink in its face. And you know how the Lincoln Memorial is on the five dollar bill? I'm farting on it." Wow, that really stings. 

There have been dozens of cases, from Ohio to Kansas to Texas, anywhere there are friendless, egg-shaped pink fucks with a flagpole and a mis-held belief that they can do magic, and sometimes just talking back to the TV isn't enough.

Larry Guerrieri, master of angry-flag-inversion-hate-magic, told Pittsburgh CBS affiliate KDKA,"That's a sign of distress; this country is in distress right now. This Benghazi incident, he left them four people there to die. That's the way I feel about it." Gee, I wonder where he gets his news.
A McDonald's in West Virginia flew its flag upside down the day after the election, but claims it was an accident. Their actual statement:

"Unfortunately, a flag cable broke and during the process of trying the fix the flag, it was inadvertently turned upside down. It wasn't noticed that the flag was upside down until a customer inquired about it. We are working on fixing the flag right now. It's important to note that this was an accident, not intentional."
Please, if I wanted to be force-fed bullshit, I'd order the McRib.

Now, I couldn't care less about Flag God, but it does seem kind of small, if you do worship symbols, to wipe your ass on the one that represents your country because your guy lost an election. 
The United States Flag Code Title 36, Chapter 10, says:

"The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property."

But we all understand that the rule against flag desecration only applies to the left. It's like calling America a piss-stinking hellhole full of lazy moochers: You're only allowed to do it if you're a patriotic Republican.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Bill Maher, I dont know why you cant add a CONTACT ME page for your fans all around the world.

I really request you to please visit DR. ZAKIR NAIK - a rational Muslim scholar who will answer every single question you have about Islam.

You have a great understanding of the Bible, but you are really, really misinformed on the Quran, believe me.

I promise you will not be the same person again in your understanding of Islam and why it is the second largest religion in the world, after you have a dialog with Dr. Zakir Naik, president of IRF foundation in India, a pretty big guy.

Regards
A huge fan of yours

puisi said...

I dont believe in flags.. I just believe God.. as the puisi I believe in.

mehdi sharifzadeh said...

Hi Bill Maher my name is mehdi sharifzadeh Unfortunatly im Iranian living in the south. living in florida is intresting. The confedarate flag is still being incorparted in society. but its sad because what is the confedrate flag. i believe its hate. at the same time we have spanish people wearing puerto rico flags. society forgot the meaning of flag and what it stands for. american flag is about demoracy a country that gives hope to people stands for liberty equality and freedom. its time to start educate people.

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Anonymous said...

dear bill,
do you truly have an understanding of the bible? I dont believe so. I just want to ask you a couple of qustions and perhaps you should ask yourself. If the Bible isnt true.. well let me back up for a second. the bible does infact exist! yes it is true. we have archeological findings from ancient scriptures dating back to before Jesus birth. WE have living proof of this. AND we also have ancient scripture that predicting Jesus' birth. we have historical archeological evidence that the bible exists and was written by the desciples and apostles. There, ofcourse, is other evidence as well, but surely we already know this becuase you claim to have an understanding. Okay so a question i have is do YOU belive in Jesus? well he did live we know this. we not only have proof he lived and taught from many different ancient authors, but also he exists as an important prophet in more than one religion. when these two reigions combine, we have yes you guessed it the majority of the world's population. so you should belive in Jesus. Next question i have is Do you know what book has been translated into more languages than any other book that has ever existed? you gessed it again! the Bible. And do you know who's quotes and teachings have been repeated more than anyones? yup Jesus. so already we know that: Jesus lived, The bible truly exists from all the way back before Jesus' birth and that no other book and person has impacted the world more than Jesus and the Bible. So esentiall we have three differnt conclusion: Jesus was a liar, Jesus was crazy and Jesus did not exist. wait scratch that last one because he did. yes a typical argument was that the bible is made up. But ask yourself this: what are the chances of a whole group, because we know there were more than one,a group of people sat down thousands of years ago and just "made up" the Bible. the chances of that happening are slim and none in itself. Not to mention that carbon dating prooves that the bible was written over a span of 2 thousand years. and no other book runs together so smoothly and prophecies line up than the Bible. even an athiest like yourself has to admit that seems a little out of this world. so Bill tell me what the chances of a group of imposter blasphemer authors making a book from over a thousand years and it running together so smoothly and having an impact on the MAJORITY of the world? Very slim. another argument is dinosaurs. Bill learn hebrew and greek. Tell me whn the word Dinosaur came around? not untilabout 1500 years after jesus' birth! wow and even we know that dinos have been extinct way longer than that. so no where in the bible does it mention dinosaurs. true you are correct. but it does however, if you learn hebrew and greek talk about ferocious monsters. oh so it does? well thats interesting. Bill there have been over 23,000 archeological digs that have historically confirmed the bible. Manuscripts are handwritten copies of the bible in its origional language. there are over 6,000 new testament manuscrpits and 14,000 old testament manuscrpits. the bible has also been translated into 50 english versions alone. this doesnt happen by accident. this is no coinsidence. all God asks is for your faith. so maybe you should reconsider. He loves you and it is not too late. repent. the lord is coming soon. thank you for your time and to all that reads this: What re the chances?

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