QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" - FEB 19, 2010

Friday, February 19, 2010



QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 19th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.



We’ve been on a long break and I’ve just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that’s the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



The reason that we aren’t changing things right now is that the banks have lobbyists in Washington in numbers I’ve never seen.

- Elizabeth Warren, Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel on TARP



The party out of power believes that they can get back into power by running against government and being the party of “no”.

- Norah O’Donnell



Fundamental reform doesn’t come from bipartisanship. And it seems to me, bipartisanship has become appeasement. Barack Obama won an election based on a set of principles. Fight for them.

- Eliot Spitzer



Any Republican who wants to filibuster now should be required to stand up and read aloud from Twilight.

- Seth MacFarlane



We’ve had our fair share of Bush jokes.

- Seth MacFarlane in response to Bill’s comment that he’s been making fun of the retarded for years



It’s not going to make the military soft or anything. I mean, they’re soldiers. We’re talking, yea, they’re gay, but we’re not talking Ru Paul, Elton John gay, we’re talking “Brokeback Mountain” gay.

- Wanda Sykes regarding “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”



New Rule: Just because you can get pregnant, doesn’t mean you must get pregnant. The pregnant man is pregnant for a third time. You know, if you have a beard and a mustache and you have a baby every ten months you’re not a pregnant man, you’re an Italian woman.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



New Rule: Stop calling “The Tea Party” phenomenon a “Movement”. To be a real political movement, you have to, well, move toward some specific legislative goal. The Suffrage Movement, for example, gained voting rights for women, the Civil Rights Movement outlawed discrimination against blacks, and the Gay Rights Movement brought us the Winter Olympics.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were Eliot Spitzer, Seth MacFarlane, Norah O’Donnell, Wanda Sykes and Elizabeth Warren.