QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" Mar. 11, 2011

Friday, March 11, 2011



QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER



Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, March 11, 2011. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.



It turns out that in the Republican budget they submitted for next year, they slash funding for the agency that issues Tsunamis warnings and organizes response to the Tsunamis. In their defense, Republicans say Tsunamis are just a theory and they are not a real threat, like ACORN, the Black Panthers, NPR and math teachers in Wisconsin.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Good news for Freedom Lovers, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has signed the bill sticking it to the real power brokers in our society, the teachers, janitors and bus drivers.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



Who would have thought that sending your kid into a dark booth with a middle aged single man, in a dress, would lead to something bad.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue on the suspension of Philadelphia priests for sexual misconduct



Newt Gingrich’s patriotism is a little different. When he and his intern hear the National Anthem, she gets a lump in her throat.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue regarding Newt Gingrich’s “patriotic” philandering



Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what is ruining this country.

- Bill Maher in his opening monologue



If you listen to terrorist rhetoric, what they do is they cite politics, they cite political grievances. They don’t use too much religion. When you find Muslims who reject terrorism, as most do, it often is for spiritual and religious and moral reasons. But when people want to justify it, they justify it on political reasons.

- Rep. Keith Ellison



Dana Loesch: Collective bargaining is not listed in the Constitution.

Paul Begala: Neither is having sex with your wife but it doesn’t mean that the government can tell me I can’t do it.

- Dana Loesch and Paul Begala discussing the Wisconsin teachers protests



People aren’t voting their pocketbooks, they’ve voting their culture. They’re voting how they feel about gays, about how they feel about god, they’re voting guns. They are not voting economics because they don’t see their interests bound up economically. They see it as how the world looks at them.

- Tom Davis



The government is responsible for the material welfare of the people but as we know, the government is also responsible for a certain type of education of the people. Art, and we’re talking art when it is really doing what it is supposed to be doing, teaches abstract thinking, it teaches teamwork, it teaches people to actually think about things that they cannot see, it is actually an economic engine.

- Bill T. Jones



New Rule: Philadelphia’s twenty-one accused Catholic priests should cheer up. Don’t think of it as cops breaking up your pedophile club, think of it as giving up something you love for Lent.

- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment



This week's guests were the Rep. Keith Ellison, Tom Davis, Dana Loesch, Paul Begala and Bill T. Jones.