Wednesday, March 21, 2012

On Being Over 50

I almost cried the other night when Arianna mentioned that HuffPost was launching Huff/Post50, and did I have any thoughts about being over 50...

Any? Unfortunately, I have nothing but thoughts about being over 50.

I remember seeing Alan King in Atlantic City in the '80s (when I was a young comedian) and he said, "I'm 56, and people say I'm middle aged -- who do you know who lives to be 112?"

I'm 55. It was funnier then.

The thing about your fifties is, you're not nearly over (if you're lucky) -- in fact, lots of ambitious people are peaking -- but it is the first time in your life that you can see over the crest of the mountain and down into the Valley below -- you know, Death. Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so; we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.

Little things remind you of this all the time -- like minor cuts taking longer to heal than they used to. It doesn't cause you any health problems, but it reminds you your body is not replacing cells as fast as it used to, and the ones it is sending are inferior copies of their predecessors. That's why we age, and look progressively worse as the years pass: just like a photocopy or a video tape that looks slightly worse each time its copied, we are constantly copying ourselves and coming out a little inferior every time. Merry Christmas.

However... the one thing that does seem to get better, at least so far, is the brain -- you know, so you can be more aware of the depressing physical part! But hey, the depressing physical part also gives you an urgency to life that is really quite irreplaceable. When you're young, you don't appreciate! And learning to appreciate life is almost better than being young and ignoring it.

At least that's my story, and I'm sticking with it.


Rich Goldstein said...

The younger you are, the less there is to appreciate about life. The good stuff doesn't come until later. And the best is yet to come. By that logic, so is the worst, but best not to dwell on that.

Dylan Thomas said...

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Anonymous said...

Watch your cholesterol, buddy.

OccupyTVNY said...

Occupy The Courts - A Conversation with Lawrence Lessig and Chris Hedges

Anonymous said...

"The loss of a father is the central prop on which [The Wall] stands. As the years go by, children lose their fathers again and again, for nothing. You see it now with all these fathers, good men and true, who lost their lives and limbs in Iraq for no reason at all. I've done Bring The Boys Back Home in my encore on recent tours. It feels more relevant and poignant to be singing that song now than it did in 1979." - Roger Waters

Check the W graphic @ the lower left

Anonymous said...

Amused To Death by Roger Waters

Doctor Doctor what is wrong with me
This supermarket life is getting long
What is the heart life of a colour TV
What is the shelf life of a teenage queen
Ooh western woman
Ooh western girl
News hound sniffs the air
When Jessica Hahn goes down
He latches on to that symbol
Of detachment
Attracted by the peeling away of feeling
The celebrity of the abused shell the belle
Ooh western woman
Ooh western girl
And the children of Melrose
Strut their stuff
Is absolute zero cold enough
And out in the valley warm and clean
The little ones sit by their TV screens
No thoughts to think
No tears to cry
All sucked dry
Down to the very last breath
Bartender what is wrong with me
Why am I so out of breath
The captain said excuse me ma'am
This species has amused itself to death
Amused itself to death
Amused itself to death
We watched the tragedy unfold
We did as we were told
We bought and sold
It was the greatest show on earth
But then it was over
We ooh-ed and ah-ed
We drove our racing cars
We ate our last few jars of caviar
And somewhere out there in the stars
A keen-eyed look-out
Spied a flickering light
Our last hurrah
And when they found our shadows
Grouped around the TV sets
They ran down every lead
They repeated every test
They checked out all the data on their lists
And then the alien anthropologists
Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason
For our sad demise
They logged the only explanation left
This species has amused itself to death
No tears to cry no feelings left
This species has amused itself to death

Anonymous said...

Dear Sir or Madam,

You are using genetic material that CONSANTO owns the patent of. The name of the work involved is "human DNA". CONSANTO has reserved all rights to this work.

Your use of this work in your cellular mitosis is unauthorized. You neither asked for nor received permission to use the piece nor to make or distribute copies of genetic material and cells in the manner you have. Furthermore, you have taken credit for this work and caused confusion as to whom the original author of the work is. Therefore, CONSANTO believes you have willfully infringed our rights under 17 USC §101, et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages per incident as high as $100,000. Further, such copyright infringement is a direct violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and International Copyright Law.

CONSANTO demands that you immediately cease the use and distribution of the work and all copies of it, that you remove any further works you may have stolen and that you desist from this or any other infringement of our rights in the future. Furthermore, CONSANTO demands that you post an apology on the site clarifying who the real author is and that you inform others that might have been misled by your misuse of the works' origins.

If CONSANTO has not received proof of compliance from you within 72 hours, CONSANTO shall consider taking the full legal remedies available to rectify this situation including legal action and contacting your physician.


Consanto LLC.

Anonymous said...

Death is our friend. It lights a fire under our asses to do things. It reminds us to appreciate what we have. It adds value to all the memories of all the good times we've had; all the good choices we made & all the sheer luck. Optimism is a matter of perspective, gratitude.

If you are experiencing depression, you need to hang with the sun worshippers. Sunshine catalyzes the production of vitamin D & coproducts, which is the best antidepressant in the world. All natural. Minimum 20-30 minutes a day.

The pharma pimps don't permit the milk producers to advertise this; alcohol is a depressant. Chocolate, the less processed the better, contains a healthy dose of neurotransmitter precursors & caffeine - its antidepressant, watch the sucrose. Ben & Jerry know!

Meditation is good; try the mood elevating strains; sativas.

Over 50, 1%er? So lucky! Spread it around...

le Comte De Guiche said...

Ay, there is one who has no prize of Fortune!

Yet is not to be pitied! Pity him not! He has lived out his vows, free in his thoughts, as in his actions free! True! I have all, and he has naught; yet now I would be proud to take his hand!

(Bowing to Roxane):
Ay, true, I envy him.

Look you, when life is brimful of success, though the past hold no action foul - one feels a thousand self-disgusts, of which the sum is not remorse, but a dim, vague unrest;
and, as one mounts the steps of worldly fame, the Duke's furred mantles trail within their folds a sound of dead illusions, vain regrets, a rustle - scarce a whisper - like as when, mounting the terrace steps, by your mourning robe sweeps in its train the dying autumn leaves.

Anonymous said...

Too much too young too soon,
too little too late.

Anonymous said...

“I'd give all the wealth that years have piled,
the slow result of life's decay,
To be once more a little child
for one bright summer day.”
― Lewis Carroll

Anonymous said...

THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THE PROSTATE GLAND is to regulate the release and consistency of semen. Like the 1% it turns on men after their breeding years, attempting to kill them to get more stuff for its offspring.

After age 40 you have a 17% chance of your prostate turning on you with cancer. However, since the prostate only starts planning your doom after you stop releasing semen, the healthy solution is punching the pope & beating the bishop often, at least a few times every week.

You'll outlive the devoutly repressed, and find out which of them lied.

Anonymous said...

"The fact that homeopathy cures people should not be used as evidence. 90% of patients will get better no matter what you do to them."

Oliver Wendell Holmes, when he was a professor @ Harvard Medical School

Anonymous said...

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way

Anonymous said...

Fear is a funny thing, isn't it? If we weren't afraid of dying of diseases, we'd never develop the science of microbiology. That science in turn creates the possibility of germ warfare. And each superpower is so afraid that the others may wage germ warfare against it, each develops its own plagues to wipe out the human race.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery

Sara said...

Over 50 or not, you're still an attractive intellectual man capable of sparking ambition (and sometimes outrage) in the masses. Physically aging is something none of us can avoid; it's only a detriment when we allow it to bar us from living the life we want. You seem a long way from that.

Anonymous said...

You aren't old. Bill Cosby is old. He was a star when you were driving your mother crazy. I have a deep respect for Bill Cosby. He is a beautiful, wise man. He makes a difference.

homo sapiens exstinguo said...

Cesium 137 has a half life of 30 years. The bad boy of synthetic ionizing elements is Plutonium 239. Like Strontium 90 it attaches itself to bones, but its so powerful that you won't survive the lung cancer you get when you inhale this stuff long enough for the leukemia to matter. Pl 239 has a half life of 24,000 years. So its better to bury the dead than to cremate them and scatter this gift in the wind.

homo sapiens risum said...

You can hide under a desk but it won't help. More fun to live every day as if its the last.

Anonymous said...

80's comedy. PC = social devo = boring shit = government twats

Anonymous said...

Life extension is a violation of Natural Law and you talking about health, diet and vitamins violates my religion. I command you to cease and desist. Its God's will. And we'll sue you if you don't. We have lots of lawyers.
So you stop all this blaspheming, y'hear boy?

Anonymous said...

I loved your holograph Obama. He represents the real Obama and exactly who he really is and you know it. I didn't know Alan Thick was a communist so i guess his son Robin is also. I will no longer buy anything of theirs. Why don't you have some people who disagree with you on your show. Maybe because all the garbage you spew you will have to swallow.

Anonymous said...

Are you serious we should bypass Congress? That goes to show you right there with that statement that you are not an American and maybe you should move to Cuba or Europe will you will fit right in. Your from Canada originally? Why do you hate America so much? You keep saying Republicans have the rich in their pockets. Obama has wall street and Chase and Awg and all the rich billionaires behind him from Bill Gates to Warren Buffet and by the way all the ones he bailed out now work in the White House has his Czars.

Anonymous said...

Inside Job, Narrated by Matt Damon (Full Length HD)

Anonymous said...

Hey Bill, here is an album I bet you don't have in your collection.
Beyond Life with Timothy Leary

Next time your mind is blazing with illegal rational knowledge, listen to this 75 year old man. Beautiful people indeed, right to the end.


Anonymous said...

Mises @ 50 by Lew Rockwell