QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER" Feb. 17, 2012

Friday, February 17, 2012

QUOTES FROM “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER

Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, February 17, 2012. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.

Have you seen this guy, Jeremy Lin? Oh my God, this guy is blowing up. He’s like two weeks away from marrying a Kardashian.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue

The proof is in the stats. This guy [Jeremy Lin] has scored more points in his first five starts than any player in NBA history. Typical, isn’t it? One high-scoring Asian ruins the curve for the rest of us.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue

He [Rick Santorum] doesn’t like sex. He doesn’t like the pill. He really doesn’t like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue

Mitt Romney could lose his home state of Michigan. He keeps shooting himself in the foot. He wrote an Op-Ed in the Detroit newspaper reminding them that he opposed the automobile bailout. And then he kicked off his Wisconsin “fuck cheese” tour.
- Bill Maher, in his opening monologue

The problem now is, and this is what’s getting me crazy, is that we have a problem with prescription drugs that is massive. It started with Heath Ledgerr and when that poor guy died … I thought, that this is the beginning of a tsunami where we’re going to see public figures going one after the other. And I feel impotent and sad that I couldn’t have done more. … And it’s not going to stop here.
- Dr. Drew Pinsky

Think of all the rock stars from the 60s and 70s and 80s. Absent IV heroin, if you were not an IV heroin user, which people die of … for the most part, if you were a poly-drug user and you did not go to pharmaceuticals, you are still with us today. As soon as they went to pharmaceuticals, they’re dead. It’s very subtle. It’s very pernicious. And the thinking is so disturbed because, hey, I’m just doing what my doctor told me.
- Dr. Drew Pinsky

I’ve heard all these tributes this week pouring in for Whitney Houston. And you know, when we heard it, it was just sadness. That’s all there is. … The one part where I get mad, and I think a lot of people might feel the same way, is the kid. … Don’t bring your kid to the club. You know, that’s number one in the Wayans’ book of hundred and fifty ways you know you’re too ghetto. Don’t bring your kid with you to the club. And this idea that parents should be friends with their kids drives me up the fucking wall.
- Bill Maher

And who is the savior that walks in? Sarah Palin? Please Jesus, Sarah Palin. Please. I’ll go back to church if Sarah Palin is the nominee.
- Bill Maher on the possibility of a brokered convention

Let me answer your question about what happens if Mitt Romney loses Michigan. There’s a lot of bed wetting goes on in the Republican Party.
- Stephen Moore

There’s a deeper problem here which is there are three Republican Parties. There’s the Libertarian Republican Party of Ron Paul. There’s the social conservative Party of Santorum. And then there’s the traditional corporate leadership Party of Mitt Romney. The three of them cannot coalesce around anybody and that’s why Romney can’t get above the thirty percent.
- Eliot Spitzer

He [Mitt Romney] really can’t attack Santorum because he can’t … be to the left because he’s so suspect to the Republican base as a conservative that he cannot in any way got to the left. … But he can’t be to the right to Rick Santorum cause there’s nothing to the right except Kirk Cameron and the Neo-Nazi party.
- Bill Maher

This week's guests were Dr. Drew Pinsky, Stephen Moore, Erin McPike, Eliot Spitzer and Alexandra Wentwor